lukehemss

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: if i'd known the best way to get you to behave was threatening to tell you x-rated fantasies about your hot brothers, I would've done it yearssss ago.

cal: look at you, being adventurous for once.

cal: it was a compliment. mostly.

luke: hot brothers?? get outta here.

luke: ten bucks says i regret it.

luke: good bc that's how i was taking it. getting a little trust. moving on up in the world.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: you really do because if i'd continued, it would've been entirely your own fault and you'd have no one else to blame.

cal: try the matcha cheesecake before you judge.

cal: i feel like you could've but you didn't. which gives me pause but i'm choosing to give you the benefit of the doubt rn.

luke: looks like i'll be on my best behavior for now. don't ever wanna cross /that/ line.

luke: i'll try one bite.

luke: thank you. i think.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: i already told you but you thought it was gross and you didn't wanna know more so

cal: you're exhausting to deal with and i can't. eat some cheesecake and chill the fuck out.

cal: don't leave me on read, dickhead.

luke: i really need to stop setting myself up and walking into these conversations. rip.

luke: only if it's regular cheesecake with cherries on the top.

luke: hahahaha pls i didn't know what to say to that last part.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: i'm so glad you and i have very different ideas on what counts as exciting.

cal: i feel like you're being overly dramatic about this. it's cheesecake, full of sugar and fat. how can it even be bad??

cal: good.

luke: what would you consider exciting? tell me so that i can judge it.

luke: overly dramatic? always. but i'm strongly dedicated to my anti-matcha movement.

luke: [ TEXT READ ]

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: i mean, true. you and dumb decision often go hand in hand

cal: you've never even given it a real chance. you just decided you don't like it. the cheesecake would make you change your mind.

cal: i hope that weakness is a thing of the past, bud.

luke: keeps my life exciting so.

luke: say i give the cheesecake a try. are you going to hold the bucket when i throw up?

luke: ya

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: daring me is always the wrong move to make.

cal: your taste buds are damaged. there's a ton of health benefits to matcha tea and it's yummy too. matcha cheesecake is also excellent. 10/10 would recommend.

cal: there's been zero lies and just because you keep saying it, it doesn't make it true. ok if u say so.

luke: like that has ever stopped me from doing so.

luke: your taste buds are damaged. you cannot be sitting there and seriously saying match is good in any form. ever.

luke: yes it does. i can't help that everyone is so hot and i'm so weak. ://

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: i'm going to call ur mum and tell her ur being so mean to her future son-in-law.

cal: they're all sugar and 100% gross. there's really no excuse for anyone to eat them. drink hot matcha tea instead.

cal: how dare you?? i've never uttered a single lie in my life. i'm an angel compared to you, slut puppy.

luke: do it. i dare you.

luke: 100% good and so worth the high sugar intake. hot matcha tea? i'd rather die. you'll never catch me drinking anything matcha. ever.

luke: another lie. wow, you're just really outing yourself as a compulsive liar here. :// pls i'm not a slut.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: i dunno, i feel like there's still a lot of stuff i could say to make this revenge plot even better.

cal: u eat those gross throat lozenges like candy so that already proves my point.

cal: ten years is a long time. i can't believe i was once innocent before you deviants corrupted me. good times.

luke: i'll screenshot it and send it to ur mum.

luke: they're good. plus, as the lead singer, i figure i have some type of excuse to be eating them 24/7.

luke: you?? innocent?? ur a filthy liar.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: you're welcome. i feel like you've brought this on yourself after so much oversharing about you and ash. consider it revenge. and i've not even said anything explicit, yet, so it sounds like a you problem to me.

cal: nope. the delusion is strong in you.

cal: it's true.

luke: don't need to say anything explicit. the work is done and now u can keep ur fantasies to yourself.

luke: not my problem you can't handle the truth.

luke: i mean, probably??

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: not to me, mate. steamy.

cal: you like gross things so you have no right to slander matcha's good name like that. besides, it's healthy.

cal: i can't remember, it happened so long ago.

luke: it's only 1.5 hours into the new day and you've already managed to make me gag three ( 3 ) different times with this conversation.

luke: everything i like is good, so no idea what ur talking about there.

luke: pfft.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: because i don't want to. let me enjoy my fantasies pls.

cal: matcha is great and it's not my fault your taste is shit. i'm glad ur suffering, u deserve it.

cal: true. i've only liked you like one time in ten years.

luke: gross.

luke: it's GROSS. i'm convinced you've all banded together to lie about how good it is. tastes like death.

luke: when was that?

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: why would i do that??

cal: true. because you deserve it.

cal: never. that's our whole dynamic as frenemies.

luke: why not??

luke: wouldn't even let me talk about how gross matcha is. now i gotta keep it all in and suffer.

luke: enemies **

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: don't worry, i'm saving all the juicy details for myself. u don't deserve them.

cal: absolutely and i will fight u on that.

cal: you're always out of whack tho so it's not really a valid excuse.

luke: try a cold shower, mate.

luke: you fight me on EVERYTHING sooooo

luke: quit calling me out. you're ruining my french vanilla fantasy.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: i haven't even told you what i'm really thinking about doing to his abs tho

cal: i think it's a very reasonable argument to make.

cal: why? it's only 10pm and it's not a school night, dad.

luke: anything you say next can and will be repeated to my therapist.

luke: do u really??

luke: listen, i might have forgotten that timezones are a thing. it's nearly 2am here so i'm all out of whack. oops.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: he's a beautiful, beautiful man. my mental images about his abs aren't gross btw.

cal: i know, i'm v good.

cal: this is one for the history books.

luke: they're gross to me so ... :)

luke: i wouldn't go that far.

luke: go to sleep, dickhead.

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: you could grate cheese on jack's abs so

cal: i dunno, i can be pretty persuasive when i wanna be

cal: i'm just going to enjoy it since it happens to rarely.

luke: that's what happens when you make a gym routine and stick to it. gross mental image tho.

luke: yeah, that's pretty true.

luke: a rare moment!

[lukehemss]

( ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ - ᴄᴀʟ. )

cal: don't worry, you get to sit next to Jack. you're very lucky.

cal: i'm still trying to court Adam Lambert so i'll wait for his response first.

cal: wow, u acknowledging reality. how refreshing.

luke: i said someone hot. >:(

luke: adam lambert is way out of our range so good luck.

luke: don't get used to it.