lukewalkwalker

[lukewalkwalker]

Damon Albarn // 1999

[lukewalkwalker]

mildly funny when someone gets divorced out of your family and your relationship status becomes like. ex-uncle. ex-stepsibling. yeah we shared holiday dinners for years and now you're just some guy to me. c'est la vie.

[lukewalkwalker]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[lukewalkwalker]

i love when people throw leftist word salad at eachother. someone called me bourgeoisie for not liking the death penalty. comrade you have to know that's not what that means.

[lukewalkwalker]

Link to original

[lukewalkwalker]

[lukewalkwalker]

hate when I'm trying to just take a normal drink but it turns out I'm thirstier than I thought so I end up gulping it down like a goddamn cartoon characer. the indignity of water lust.

[lukewalkwalker]

tell me my prof didn’t upload the reading by photocopying his kindle reader page by page

[lukewalkwalker]

one time my mom and i were talking about autism and she said if i got it from anyone i got it from my dad, a man who has been buying and sorting pokemon cards for several months straight and likes to memorize license plates and then quiz my mom on them. and then she remembered that my father is not actually biologically related to me (#childofdivorce) and lost her shit laughing. i got that proxy autism

[lukewalkwalker]

>"nobody's gonna help you in the real world!!"

>go outside

>love and support in many places as long you have the courage to ask for it

[lukewalkwalker]

[lukewalkwalker]

Add realism to your fantasy stories by having characters from different backgrounds struggle to pronounce each others' names.

"My name is [low guttural sound] but I don't want to hear you butcher it. So you may call me She Who Arises With The Cold Mountain Sun."

"...Is that what your name really means? All that in just one word?"

"Yes. If you stress the wrong syllable it comes out as 'She Who Coldly Wakes Up The Mountain Sun', or 'The Cold Woman Who Wakes The Mountain Sun', and you will not call me that."

"Oh, huh. Could we just call you Mountain Sun, for short?"

"Hmh. It's boastful, almost bordering on blasphemy, but it is flattering. I accept it."

[lukewalkwalker]

starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

[lukewalkwalker]

everyone trying to minimise their intake of microplastics is going to be so mad when we invent the blood filter that can extract it and everyone who was plasticmaxxing gets a cool toy made from their poison blood as a souvenir

[lukewalkwalker]

[lukewalkwalker]

people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

[lukewalkwalker]