lum1an - Tumblr blog

[lum1an]

TANGA

im really starving myself,, hahaaha starving my self kasi baka jontis hahah rip

[lum1an]

LOG #6

hi, pandemic pa rin pero 1st year college na ako taking ABMMA,, funny how ang dami kong flings nung ecq tapos dalawa lang naisulat ko rito XD 

anyway, i’m here kasi nagbebreakdown ako for the past months, si sheila ang sumasalo lahat ng rant ko pero half lang yon. Like sa tuwing nag rarant ako sa kanya dun ko na rin iniiyak yung mga hindi ko naoopen kahit kanino. Ang bigat kasi talaga, lalo na yung overthinking. Minsan iniisip ko baka pagod na si sheila kakakinig sakin pero yung words niya kasi kinocomfort ako. Kaya sinasabi niya na magsulat ako. welp, kaya ako nandito eh. Anyways, ayon nga siya yung tumulong sakin lagi. LAGI. 

Tapos dumating to si clarence, classmate ko siya nung shs grade 11-12. Halfway ng pandemic naging close kami sa chat. Sumakto pa na tanggap ko na nawala na kami ni Evan HAHAHAHA dedma. Basta wala ako sa wisyo maghanap or mag expect ng darating kasi andiyan naman sila sheila at angelo para sa mga trip ko. Ayon, naging close kami ni clarence hanggang sa umamin pa nga kasi tinanong ko. Paano ba naman, I jokingly said na ireto ako tapos ang sagot ba naman “ako kasi”. Akala ko nag jojoke lang siya non kasi nga CLASSMATE KO SIYA. Wala naman akong balak jowain classmate ko haha di naman halata kay r DIBA???? k dedma,, theeeeeeeeeeen naging mag m.u kami. tapos kakatapos lang namin magkita last week kaya ayon. 

kaya ako nandito kasi hindi na ganon si clarence sakin tulad ng una,, which leads me back to how harvee was. Ayoko magkumapara kaso wala eh ganon halos na memeet ko guys HAHSHAHS di ko alam kung engot lang ba ako or what. Gusto ko sana maging open pa lalo kay clarence pero yun nga hahahhs baka umalis lang din to at sabihan akong na chochonk na siya. Since pandemic, syempre mag bebase ako sa chat diba,, eh dry pa naman yon talag mag chat. hay ewan,, feel ko timing lang talaga kasi sobrang busy din niya sa midterm nila. Pero bakit si sheila, kaya ako iaccomodate hashdhas partida nursing yon dejk ahhsdahdqwe edi sana si sheila nalang jinowa mo loryana? charot. PATIENCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE k dedma mahal ko yon kaso sana parehas kami ng level or, parehas kami ng level sa mata niya kaso sakin hindi ko dama, akdjkljdqwoijqoe yun lang thx,, 

kaya mo to, erl. sabi nga ni carence pagsubk lang to hehe thx

[lum1an]

LOG #5

hey. corona virus is still here. and hello i found another guy and this one is miguel from taguig.

galing siya sa league which i told myself na i won’t add ppl na from that game kaso hahaha i realize it na after i messaged him. he’s quite good and typical for a guy unlike rey. he said he’ll stay daw pero ganyan din sabi ni rey eh. WOOOOOO i thought na this will end na jusme kaso i want a friend lang naman not landi XD kaso i ended up falling LOLS.

[lum1an]

Log #4

HI, SIS!

uhm happy ecq,, extended daw te-- so to get to the point i have his guy i met on omegle HAHAHHA and boy,, its been a week shet lab ko na siya, dejk. pero tbh he is medyo special,, although i have tons of someone na nakaka chat online, iba to fren. prehas kami ng likes and cute siya HAHAHHAAH ediwow, erl. alam mo yung guy na hindi mainstream,, like one of  a kind and he knows it pero shy siya... SIYA YON TANGI. he is actually good sa LoL aaaaand he loves to read, legit bruh. he’s even on a band called coinsole ahhahaa pota bassist boi!  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa important tong guy sakin,, pls dont poof

[lum1an]

Log #3

why do i feel that he has a crush on me? wth, but he likes c. maybe, she likes you as a friend.  damn.  yung video kasi eh, like it really shows that he  likes me.  pero i saw him kiligin with his chat with c. i felt a little hurt on that part but, dude! his actions towards me is is damn irritatingly good. he even poked my fucking cheeks! and even held my arms AND add the part when we were taking a fukcing picture i was abt to fall, dude, he was pulling me closer although i ended up on the lower ground he was still touchy or what ever.

what ever you are pulling, r. I FUCKING HOPE IT’LL BE GOOD. ATLEAST FOR A FRIEND. or maybe a crush :P

[lum1an]

Log #2

hi.

 yesterday was the coronation night of our foundation and it was mehhhhh,, pwede naman na. lmao. BUT my classmates were so persistent the FUCKING DRAG ME just to take a picture with him, aaaaa punyeta. tHEN he was like HALA ***** idk what was the next word he said *hoping na hindi mura ‘yon* but damn everything was good, idk about him lmao if he feels disgusted or what,, just let me enjoy my moment, j. Although i know may someone ka na hehehehe. okay na ‘yon, it’s your last year, sooooooooooooooooo, bear with me. I guess last event naman na ‘to kaya walang part 2 XD

sana hindi, charot. 

Thankyou moira, shim, loi, lance, roland, lawrence, and many more who helped me to abandon my dignity.

[lum1an]

Log #1

hi, tumblr.

so, today, i’ll be ranting about my dysfunctional friendships about someone i have here in my new school in senior high. she’s a good friend. everything i ever wanted was her, we vibe like were sync in everything, well, that's what i think, lmao. but since i wasn’t from this school, she has friends-- like her squad, back in junior year, so she’s my friend only in school like literally, we eat together and laugh or for whatever things you do in school. sometimes we do school projects together. then there was this day where her friend,  one of her girl best friend back in junior year, came to visit here at school. i felt a TINY bit of ache in my heart. welp, i ain't jealous, or maybe I AM.  not that romantically jealous, but the kind of ‘i wished i knew her earlier so i can be her best friend’  kind of jealous. 

nahh, all those friends that i waste made me see that i was able to have that kind of friendship, but  i was too overwhelmed that they all left me and now i ended up being alone and it felt like shit.

i do have friends like a squad, you can them that. but yeah, maybe i’m missing my starmagic that’s why :((((

[lum1an]

Hi guys, it’s Bea from Exohypernova ♡

A while ago, I posted this printables pack and you guys seemed to like it and since 2017 is pratically here already, I thought i’d share my 2017 Monthly Productivity Calendar. I also designed a few new organization and study printables that were missing from that original post, such as a week planner and the complement for the Life Plan printable. In this post, i’ll also include the original printables for people who haven’t seen them yet.

In this pack you’ll find:

⋆ 2017 Monthly Productivity Calendar

⋆ Week Planner { Triparted }

⋆ Week Planner { With Hours } 

⋆ Tasks Checklist

⋆ Tasks Checklist with Time Management Matrix 

⋆ Quotes Sheet

⋆ Project Management Sheet 

⋆ Life Plan 

⋆ Life Plan Complement 

⋆ Monthly Habit Tracker

⋆ Grade Tracker

⋆ Glossary

⋆ Formulas Sheet

⋆ Exam Prep Cheat Sheet

⋆ Essay Planner

⋆ Book Tracker

⋆ Book Review

⋆ Book Character Review

If you want to download all of them, you can click here to access my google drive folder. Also, if you have photoshop, you can download a totally editable version of those printables in this link (fonts included). ♡

P.S.: people with .edu emails had trouble having access to the printables, so if you have any difficulty downloading these, try using a diferent email account.

♡ If you post pictures of these printables, please tag me #exohypernova, i’d love to see them  ♡

[lum1an]

Muse

I search every tampered character - scratch. write. grate every letter through clenched teeth. rewrite. one, I spent hours developing in my head - for none come close. The implication of every word, the thrust of every letter, the consequence of every punctuation - in validity, I always chose you.

An inkling of my discomfort shows with how I draw you out. Just a little too shy, or tall? The deliberate description, the overwhelming emotion, oh!, how predictable. My work is a fleeting thought, a forgotten memory of when I could write with a willing subconscious. One that involved you, now I fall short.

Every now and then, I search for you in faces that are familiar for a night. Desperate, lawless, audacious in a crazed idea of recreating your image. The merciless grin, untamed hair, senseless curiosity and unattainable strength - but most importantly, the unnerving skill to turn me inside out. Turn the page, you’re the debauchery of my reasoning.

Even if brief, I sleep in the comfort of knowing him.

[lum1an]

thank u :>

SHOUTOUT TO THAT ONE PERSON THAT HEARS YOU WHEN YOU’RE TALKING IN A GROUP AND SMILES OR REPLIES SO YOU DONT FEEL LIKE A TWAT

[lum1an]

the contrast is in the results

the efforts put forth to see

darkness from past lives

the light of new adventures

I can no longer have one

without balancing it out

pictures to live by

words to die by

pain and happiness

I find I don’t exist

without both filling

the voids they leave behind

[lum1an]

rough sketch

Dusty bones, I make wishes from thee From your gray ash that turns the dirt you fall unto crystallized I was 17 yesterday 24 today And eternal tomorrow. If there is an essence, it does not belong to Time. I have no use for him Instead of counting minutes I am Counting glances, sauntering fast among strangers to wake up ALIVE! Holy, holy, holy shit I am alive? I exist! I exist! I exist! Choose your myth from God’s calendar And wear it well Borrow a bowtie from The Demi, Kali, yoni, Rumi   Living, well It is no simple poetry Painting pagan sorcery and playing jazz with my hosiery And stagnation is arbitrary Without motion mold grow and dust settles And vines take hold These feet are meant for moving wading my toes in the pupils of black holes The soul cannot be bored and the souls Of my corduroy shoes are worn I am restless, and I accept this This heart is no desert The four-chambered chorus creates symphonies from a cell And I flesh from a cell Gaze upon a passing sky Swallowed by infinite distance, its multitudes oblivion and nameless Why must we name everything at our choosing? Giving life to strange features, creating characters and stories as if cartoons on paper I seek no rough draft of living I wish not to make wind into syllables or happiness as a mere noun Seasons belong not in meter And trees belong in better metaphors And orgasms such beyond sound And the self in its complex and tiny creation Could not fit into such a poem But I realize the gift of mortality When I watch lovers dance and tease space With their playdoh bodies, naked and writhing beyond their clothes   Joyful wonder! I was 3 once A warrior today And soil tomorrow  

Joyful wonder! Word vomit diatribe diarreah The ink my fingers wear Dip my praying palms into a cleansing   Joyful wonder! To breath and to being Becoming ripe with my womanhood in budding roses   Joyful wonder! For Solitude and its sensual sobriety Monumental and intimate Terrifyingly infinite in its eternal question of why Whom am I, whom am I not What am I, what am I not Where does it begin, where does it go Whatever it is, the soul, diminished again with such names Overflows elegance in its crystal chalice   I know myself I know that I am changing   Transfiguring into an entity That walks through the embers and salutes them Anxiety I see you I know suicide of the mind because I too die daily I awake in the morning and wring out the dew of new birth   Joyful wonder! To the people and their existence We share and habitate together Joy to the strangers  met and their dialogue unwritten   I wrap my body like a mummy in silk Touch my fingers to the wall in braille hieroglyphics I open chests to seek the philsophers stone and it manuscripts   Release/ submit/ surrender Exhale cinder with cigeratte smoke Shapeshift/transpose/go forth and metamorph Your life is a puzzle arranged in the array Of today’s path disguised as pieces Jigsaw through the marrow of experience And suck its plentiful fruit   The soul persists only if you will it Wear the present as your present Joyful wonder! What a blessing What a gift it is to be! Being aware! Being aware of what you are aware of!   You exist! You exist! You exist! I know that a soul must feel small wearing such skin We are contingent Our Existence, temporal Plant your soul seed in the spheres of Gazing, bathing, running Shedding, throwing, playing Coming, going, staying Harvesting stars to make dreamcatchers Chasing suns into mason jars Sleeping before its light, Huddling, kneeling, dreaming despite the unknown night Who would have thought that each firefly Warms each its own galaxy Youth know not their power! Suppose we are figments of God writing poetry If there is repentance It comes with self-awareness Such a savage victory

[lum1an]

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

[lum1an]

mars, we were victims of circumstance. the vacuum of space can be somewhat of a lonely place. through darkness i reached out - for what, i don’t know, perhaps warmth near forgotten - and found your hand, also searching. mars, maybe we both settled. maybe proximity and vague compatibility are not conducive to the kind of connection we yearned for. you were convenient so we collided into clumsy half-love. on the good days, we drank coffee out the ‘his’ and ‘her’ mugs you bought us and i could swear i felt something red hot for you, something melting beneath your surface. on the good days my heart leapt higher than it ever had. (some days i still feel it. some days i’m half sick with love for you again. some days you are the dust in my eye i cannot cry out.) but on the bad days i found you lifeless and i blew up trying to reach your love. on the bad days i’d collect up the little pieces of you that had fallen for me and hurl them back in your face. mars, you loved me like i was a mission you had half-heartedly chosen to accept, like i was a war you didn’t want to be fighting. sipping tea out of the his mug you left at my place, i think, curiosity is not love. i think, but it did not kill me.

the nine people i have loved as planets: mars // L.H. (via teenangstverse)

[lum1an]

[lum1an]

Don’t you go about giving up just because the world seems to be crashing and burning. This is not the time to accept defeat. This is not the time to cower away from fragments of what once was, just because the edges of its reality might cut too deep. Your pieces will not crumble so easily. You are not as fragile as you think you are. So don’t go and give up now. You’ve got a masterpiece to rebuild.

“Pick up your pieces” remnant-thoughts (via remnant-thoughts)

[lum1an]

people say “if you don’t lower your standards, you’re gonna end up spending your whole life alone!” like being a healthy, happy, financially independent single adult is actually worse than being stuck in an abusive and/or emotionally unfulfilling relationship with someone who isn’t willing/able to meet your needs. like no offense, but I think I’m gonna choose to be happy rather than throwing myself into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.