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I spent weeks paralyzed by the weighty decision of what the funniest place would be to put this sticker

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hey did i ever show you guys the Antarctica Penguin Flag:

there's. a whole lot of Antarctica on streetview. but this is my favourite thing.

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had a fascinating dream last night where there was a new, virally popular trading card game - it was called MOUNTAIN (stylised in all caps) and the whole gimmick was that you couldn’t buy boosters or anything - you had to find them?

nowhere sold MOUNTAIN - I mean, I expect players did, once cards were in their hands.

but acquiring cards meant noticing a box lying around, and just….nabbing it? they’d be in weird places - in a skip, wedged high up in a fence, nestled in the branches of a tree? nobody ever saw who left them there, and there was a lot of debate about how MOUNTAIN boxes were sometimes hard to acquire without risking one’s physical safety - but then, that was also bragging rights. especially as harder-to-reach boxes seemed to contain more elusive and sought after cards…

no, I don’t remember anything about the actual gameplay, we never played any MOUNTAIN. alas. I know there were “frame cards” that were literally transparent but for a fancy metallic or holographic border, which I guess upgraded the card they were applied to? frames were super rare, my coworker literally ran up to me in the pub purely to show off the frame he’d just found

dream brain gimme the deets on MOUNTAIN’s actual mechanics, I’m invested in this controversial unpurchasable scavenger hunt game

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fuuuuck you're so hot i want to *i close my eyes and you audibly hear the disco elysium check roll and click as randomize a yuri trope* overhear you confessing your love to another girl

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I had a dream that I started seeing posts on tumblr about the "the pool water update." It was some new change to the site, being rolled out gradually, that people mostly didn't like.

When I got the pool water update, it turned out that when you opened up tumblr it would fill the room you were in with chlorinated water, up to the level of half an inch below your power outlets.

So to use tumblr you had to hold still, because too much movement would cause ripples that would rise to the outlets and electrify the water and kill you.

I had mixed feelings about the update. I got some pool noodles and it was nice to float around my bedroom whenever I checked tumblr. There was a trend called 'tranquilityposting' that I enjoyed. So not all bad.

There were a lot of blaze posts on dream-tumblr selling amulets that nullify electricity damage. Also, @max1461 claimed to have developed a 'posting technique that causes uncontrollable thrashing in 60% of tumblr users,' and was demanding a cash ransom to not use it

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How did you train your cats to not wake you up?

By rolling over and stubbornly feigning sleep if they did.

Their brains are little cause-effect engines. If standing next to your face and yelling until you feed them doesn't actually produce that result, they'll eventually stop doing it. You just have to outlast them.

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the man the myth the mutual who never interacts with you liking one of your posts

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Haters be like

“It’s totally possible to make a path that goes through every door exactly once”

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“This is a time for which a hero must succeed. Failure is not a choice.”

- The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage (2005/2006)

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A man in Stockholm really took that last bit to heart.

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[ID: Five screencaps from Taskmaster. Alex Horne stands up to dance reluctantly while Greg Davies claps happily along from his seat. Alex sings, “Sorry, sorry, sorry. I’m a naughty boy. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I don’t deserve a toy. I need my milk, I need my milk. I’m not allowed the milk today.” End ID.]

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This shit reads like a tumblr post

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CHAPPELL ROAN at the 2024 MTV Video Music Awards