lunellle - Tumblr blog

lunellle · 3 years

Text

Bestieeee I ran so fast. The way you write esp the changing to almost like poetry (??) was really well done. It actually got me crying. PLUS it made me appreciate hop even more like damn he’s a really good friend. BRAVO WELL DONE!! I’m very proud of you!!

Paper Thin

Bede/Gloria (dressedinpinkshipping)

Bederia Week 2021: Day 6 - First Sleepover

Tags: Fluff, angst, grief/mourning

Words: 6,869

Bede took in the mix of Gym Leaders and League Staff with a sigh. The tension that had coiled tight in his stomach all day finally loosened and left him deflated. He’d worked himself up for nothing. Gloria, the Champion of Galar, the very reason why his nerves had been alight and dancing uneasily in his chest for hours, wasn't even here.

“It’s just like her to skip out on something like this,” Bede muttered beneath his breath. She never did well in crowds, especially when the media was involved. In the late afternoon light filtering in from outside, Bede could see the reporters clambering to get closer to the windows, the doors, of Motostoke’s Gym like a flock of hungry Wingull ready to swoop on an unsuspecting victim’s lunch. The frenzy of reporters was enough to put him off, so he could hardly blame Gloria for not wanting to show up.

However…

“But missing the opening ceremony rehearsal?” Another sigh. Even for Gloria, that was a new one. “She’s the Champion, for Arceus’ sake. What sort of reputation does she think this is going to give her?”

Bede tsked. Nervous energy that had pestered him until this moment turned to frustration. At himself, for getting so worked up over seeing Gloria in the first place, and at Gloria herself for skipping the rehearsal. The air between them had been constantly shifting, leaving him confused and hopeful and wanting, yet unable to tell what, exactly, they were to each other. He’d hoped to catch her here and at least have a brief conversation with her. Even an amicable greeting would’ve sufficed. He needed something to ground himself back to reality. To remind himself that they were friends.

Merely friends. Nothing more.

Friends who’d kissed three times-

No, no, no, no, no. He was not going to think about that again.

Bede flicked a hand through his hair with a huff. Sparks crackled through his chest, making his heart flutter and his cheeks begin to burn. Enough of that, he chastised himself. Now wasn’t the time to be recalling how soft and warm her lips had felt against his, how adorable she looked when she’d accidentally kissed him when he saw her last, her eyes widening and her faint gasp piercing his heart like a blazing arrow.

And oh, how she’d melted under his touch when he’d kissed her, when she’d let him kiss her, on that bench beside the lake. How it was everything he’d wanted and more, and how she’d wanted it too-

Bede tore out of his memories with a sharp shake of his head. He had to stop doing that. Gloria had made it clear that the kiss they’d shared hadn’t meant anything, hadn’t changed anything between them, and despite the steady thrum of longing in his heart, he’d said the same.

He’d sealed his fate.

Not only that, but he vividly recalled the look on her face when he’d tried to press her as to why she’d kissed him at the Gala, when she’d explicitly told him she’d never kiss anyone she wasn’t dating. Absolute terror had flashed behind her eyes. Her voice had broken. She had broken, and pleaded with him not to ask her that. Bede had never seen her like that before. As if a single word from him would have shattered her into pieces. He’d swallowed his question, let it drop, and knew he had to tread carefully from then on. He’d pushed her too far. Taken that first kiss, and the ones that had followed - accidental or not - as a sign that the cage around Gloria’s heart was beginning to crack.

But that cage, the walls that Gloria constructed around her heart, weren’t ready to fall just yet. If they came down too soon, then so would she.

And Bede would never forgive himself for doing that to her.

No, he needed to keep himself, and his feelings for Gloria, in check. She didn’t love him. If she realised how he felt towards her, he didn’t know how she would react, but that it would certainly drive a wedge between them. Would she grow to fear him, as she feared love?

There wasn’t any point to thinking about that now, not when he needed to focus on the task at hand. The rehearsal, from the order they were to walk out, to their positions on the pitch worked out to the nearest inch, and the expected interviews following. Bede sent a sardonic glance out the window.

“They’re in for a world of disappointment when they find out their Champion decided not to show up,” He said, a part of him relishing that moment.

“They already know.”

Bede turned to Marnie with a slight frown. He hadn’t noticed she was in earshot, and for the briefest second of panic, he wondered how much of his internal struggle she had seen. Marnie’s expression was unreadable, her teal-green eyes watching him.

“Gloria never attends the rehearsal,” she said. “Wasn’t here last year either.”

Bede hadn’t noticed. At this time last year, Gloria was nothing more than the Champion, a rival to beat, an inconsequential Trainer who had the title he longed for. Her non-appearance wouldn’t have phased him in the slightest.

“I see.” Bede folded his arms and skipped his gaze elsewhere. “I wasn’t aware of that.”

Marnie’s brows knit together. “She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

There was a hint of something in Marnie’s tone. Surprise, confusion, disbelief, he couldn’t place it. Whatever it was, it made something twist in his gut, and that only worsened when Marnie didn’t respond immediately. As if it was something she couldn’t say.

“What is it?”

“Not sure if I should say,” Marnie eventually said, “I only heard about it ‘cause of Hop, ‘n’ even then he weren’t that keen on tellin’ me.”

She looked away, her words hanging uneasily in the air. Bede’s head spun.

“What happened? Is she okay?” He took a step towards Marnie, into her line of sight, and met the worry in her gaze. “Where’s Gloria?”

Marnie looked conflicted. “Can’t say. She’s not… well enough to be here,” she offered non-committedly, and folded her arms. “The rest you’ll hafta ask her yourself. If she’s able to talk to ya, that is.”

Bede’s heart plummeted into his stomach. Questions jumbled into knots on his tongue, his mind reeling, and before he could form a coherent sentence to try and coax more out of Marnie, a League Staff called her away, leaving him to deal with the implications of what she’d told him.

The conclusions his mind came to made him feel ill. He swallowed thickly, mouth going dry, and dug out his phone. There was only one way to put his mind at ease, only one person who could give him the answers, and reassurance, he needed. He dialed Gloria’s number and pressed the phone to his ear to drown out the thundering of his heart. Each ring seemed to ripple through his body. Seconds passed. Bede held his breath, vision going out of focus, the world blurring into a haze of colours.

A click.

“The number you have dialed is not available, please-”

Bede whirled on his heels, shoved his phone into his pocket, and made for the doors. He didn’t think, didn’t stop to respond to the calls following him as he stormed out of the Gym and hailed the nearest Sky Taxi. Reporters, League Staff, the rapidfire of cameras clicking, it was all background noise.

He shrugged everything off, slammed the Sky Taxi door shut, and told the driver to head to Postwick. He didn’t care what he looked like, fleeing the Gym part-way through rehearsal, the blood having drained from his face. He didn’t care what rumours would start, nor about the pictures that would surely circulate across the internet in a flash. He didn’t care what damage, if any, this would do to his reputation as an upstanding, conscientious Gym Leader.

Right now, it didn’t matter. Nothing did. Not until he knew Gloria was safe, until he knew she was okay and confirmed that with his own eyes. The rest he would deal with later.

The sun had begun to set by the time Bede was met with silence at Gloria’s house. He tried her number again, receiving the same automatic message that told him her phone was off. His heart sank deeper and deeper into his churning gut and, despite knocking on the door a half-dozen times already, he rapped his knuckles firmly to the wood again, before checking the windows. All was still behind the glass. No one was home.

Where is she?

He didn’t want to think about what that meant, or to entertain any thoughts as to where else she could be. Bede marched down the path and made for Hop’s house. If she wasn’t there- He quickened his pace, leaving that thought behind. Images, memories, flooded his mind as a familiar fear gnawed away at his heart.

Peering through frosted glass, hands gripping the windowsill. Unbalanced on his toes, craning and teetering for a glimpse of the outside world. A small flame of hope flickering in his chest. Faint, growing smaller every day. The same thought playing again and again in his mind.

Where is she?

Laughter piercing the silence. His name, followed by taunts, jeers, insults. Shame washing over him, shame and something more, something darker and colder and dousing that final flicker of hope. Hands released the wood. Clenched into fists, clenched tight, nails biting into flesh. The cold burn of rage.

The words his mother left him with faded into silence.

“Be a good boy and wait for me, alright?"

He snuffed out that flame himself. The first crack of his fist against a jaw sent a ripple of agony down his arm. Then another. And another. Faster, faster, faster, a roar tearing from his throat. The pain was worth it, even when returned onto him three-fold, even when his vision swam and he tasted blood, and when that blood mingled with tears and he saw stars, he knew that this was it. This was reality.

And she was never coming back.

Bede clenched his jaw, forced the past from his mind. Cold dread filled the hollow of his chest as he recalled the fear he’d felt, how it had frozen him in place, when Gloria had left him in the Wild Area as she ran into a wildfire. The smile she’d given him, evoking memories of a face he could no longer recall. That same look. That same acceptance, forlorn yet warm.

No.

A burst of indignation flooded Bede’s veins as he rounded the stone wall by Hop’s house.

It’s not happening again.

He thumped his fist on the front door, heart in his throat.

I won’t let it happen again.

Movement inside. Bede swallowed thickly, his tongue twisting in his mouth, and couldn’t stop himself the second the door opened.

“Gloria-” her name fell from his lips as a gasp “-is Gloria here?”

Hop’s mother blinked for a moment, before recognition filled her eyes and she nodded, albeit confused.

“You’re Bede, right?” she said, pursing her lips. “One of Gloria’s friends?”

Bede straightened. Desperation had gotten the better of him, his mild a jumble of memories and fear, and he quickly collected himself so as to not repeat that mistake.

“Yes, I am,” he said, and cleared his throat. “I apologise for turning up unannounced. I’m looking for Glora.”

Hop’s mother shifted uneasily. “She’s here, but…�� She looked away, glancing towards the stairs, and Bede’s stomach dropped. “Well, I suppose it’s better if you see for yourself. She’s upstairs with Hop.”

She stepped aside to let Bede in, and he nodded stiffly.

“Thank you,” he said, and made for the stairs. He took them two at a time, and when he’d reached the landing, voices met his ears. He turned towards them and threw the door open. The scene before him stole the air from his lungs.

Whatever he’d been expecting to find, it wasn’t this.

Gloria jolted her head up as the door to Hop’s room abruptly swung open. Bede, staring at her from the doorway with wide eyes, let out a heavy sigh. She stiffened in shock. Gloria quickly blinked to make sure no tears were left, though her red, puffy eyes were evidence enough that she’d been crying on and off all day, and managed a smile to mask her panic.

“Bede, what- what are you doing here?” she asked. Her heart clenched as tightly as her hands on her lap, threatening further tears. The breath she took shuddered. With Bede’s eyes on her, she felt vulnerable. Paper thin- no, even worse than that. As if a simple breeze, a simple word from Bede, would topple her over.

For it to be Bede who found her today, of all people, was the worst.

Bede studied her for a second, though it felt like a lifetime. As if he could see everything she was desperately trying to hide.

“You weren’t at the rehearsal,” Bede said quietly. His expression, having been one of surprise and then relief, dropped. He knew. He could see she’d been crying.

Gloria forced a sheepish laugh. Panic continued to rise like a creeping vine around her throat, and she couldn’t swallow it down. Not like this, not with him here.

“I didn’t think that’d be an issue,” she said quickly, shooting a glance at Hop. “I called ahead to let them know I wouldn’t be there.”

Hop noticed her silent cry for help, their eyes meeting briefly before he stood. “Come on, mate, there’s no reason for you to-”

“I thought-” Bede’s voice caught. Hop paused, about to usher Bede from the room. “I tried to call you,” he said, slower this time, and the unspoken hurt in his voice rippled through Gloria.

She’d worried him.

All because she was too weak to face the world.

“I… turned my phone off,” she admitted, staring into her lap. Her heart thrummed painfully. With guilt, for not saying anything to Bede, and with fear. With every second, she felt it build in her chest, pulsing like a deadly poison through her veins.

Why is he here? Why now?

Why Bede, of all people…?

Why today, of all days?

Her heart couldn’t bear it. As much as she longed to see him, as much as her heart betrayed her, grief overwhelmed it. Swallowed it. Crushed everything into dust, into pain, into fear.

“I thought something had happened to you,” Bede said. He wasn’t looking at her. “Marnie said… that you weren’t well.”

Gloria couldn’t stop herself from flinching with guilt. “I…” The words wouldn’t form. She couldn’t speak. Couldn’t explain. She met Hop’s gaze again.

“Look, we appreciate you coming to check up on her,” Hop began, “but as you can see, Gloria’s fine, so…” He gestured to the door.

“I see,” Bede said flatly. He glanced from Hop to Gloria, eyes landing on her for an infinitesimal moment, not even a second, and it sent an ache through her heart. He turned his back to her, and she broke.

“Wait-”

Tears blurred her vision. Her throat burned with everything she couldn’t say. She was crumbling. Above the fear, the panic, the shame and grief, she didn’t want him to leave.

“It’s alright,” Bede said. “I understand.”

No- her heart ached. You don’t.

He moved to go.

“Hop, please-” the hitch of her voice making Bede snap his head towards her, finally seeing her tears for the first time. “Tell him,” she said. “Please.”

“Are you sure?” Hop’s question was gentle. She palmed away her tears, pressing her hands to her eyes, and tried in vain to swallow her sniffle. All she could do was nod. “Alright.”

Hop gestured towards the door again, stopping Bede mid-step from moving any closer to Gloria. Bede paused, before allowing himself to be directed from the room. The door clicked shut, leaving Gloria in silence, and when she finally let out the breath she’d been holding, her whole body shuddered with it.

Bede whirled to face Hop as the door shut behind them.

“What happened?” he asked point-blank, the sight of Gloria failing to fight back tears all too fresh in his mind.

Hop folded his arms uncomfortably. “Nothing happened. Not today, at least. Gloria’s fine.”

“She didn’t look fine.”

Hop took a breath and sighed. “Yeah, I know.” He ran a hand through his hair restlessly before sending a glance back to his room. “This time of year is always difficult for her.”

“Why?” Bede had a feeling he knew, but asked anyway. He dreaded the confirmation of Hop’s answer when it came.

“Today’s the anniversary of her dad’s death.”

Every fibre in Bede’s body stiffened at once. He was painfully aware of what the expression on Glora’s face meant now, when he’d burst into Hop’s room. Anything he could say fled his mind. How could he respond to that? Gloria had experienced a loss he’d never had the chance of going through himself. He knew grief, but not like that. Not in such a tangible manner.

“She can’t really be around people at the moment,” Hop continued. “Sometimes she’ll be fine, but the next second it’ll hit her again and she’ll break down. The rehearsal’s always held on this date, so…”

Bede nodded slowly as Hop’s words fell into place. It made sense. Damnable, chilling sense. And all the while, at the rehearsal, he’d been frustrated and complaining about her nonappearance, and she’d been grieving the death of her father. A heavy wave of shame crashed over him.

“She’s alright, mate,” Hop said, nudging Bede with his elbow. “This is just how she gets through it. I distract her for as long as possible, and let her cry it out when she needs to. She’ll be alright.”

“I know.”

Except he didn’t. He didn’t know what she was going through, the level of pain and grief she was feeling, something he’d never understand.

“Um…”

Bede blinked at Gloria, as she poked her head through the doorway. Their eyes met, a stab of pain needling Bede’s heart, and Gloria quickly looked away.

“Hop and I were going to head to my house to watch some movies,” she said. She opened the door fully, and stepped out into the hall. “Since you’re already here, I was wondering if you wanted to join us?”

It took a moment for Bede to gather his thoughts enough to answer. “Are you sure?”

Gloria nodded, managing a slight smile, and met his eyes again. Her tears were long gone, but a ghost of them remained in the weariness of her face and the shadows beneath her eyes. “Of course. I was… going to ask Marnie to come as well, since the rehearsal’s finished.”

Bede stiffened sheepishly. “It’s not actually over yet.”

“What?” Gloria gaped. “But you…? How come you’re here then?”

Hop struggled to cover up his smirk, muffling his laugh into a cough. “Dude, seriously?”

Bede crossed his arms as a slash of heat burned across his cheeks, having been caught out by his own honesty. He fought back a scowl as Gloria stared at him.

“I… may have left early,” Bede managed to say without his voice cracking.

“What? Why? Was that- because of me?” Realisation hit Gloria all of a sudden, making her straighten. She stole a breath and Bede could have turned to cinders on the spot.

“We’d already gone through everything once,” he said quickly. “There was no point in me sticking around any longer.”

For a split second, Bede could have sworn Gloria’s expression fell. Then she laughed, and he wondered if he’d been mistaken.

“Yeah, those things tend to drag on endlessly, don’t they?” She nodded and dug out her phone. “I’ll see if Marnie wants to ditch too. Are you… going to join us?” Gloria tilted her head at Bede. “If you don’t have anything else on, that is?”

Bede swallowed. The way she cocked her head to the side made his heart swell, and he tore his eyes from her lest he begin to blush any harder than he already was. Any more blood rushing to his face and he’d surely get dizzy.

“I may as well,” he said, shrugging. As if his mind hadn’t latched onto joining them the second she’d asked. “Since I’m already here.”

“Great!”

Gloria lit up as he used the same phrase she had, and Bede coughed to clear his throat, keenly aware of the amused expression on Hop’s face as he watched this unfold. The way Gloria was acting, upbeat and smiling, if Bede hadn’t witnessed her tears moments earlier, he wouldn’t have suspected anything. Now, however, he could see how hard she was trying to hide her pain. It was there behind her eyes, in the second her laughter faded and her smile dropped. As they headed for Gloria’s house, he spotted the moments when her attention drifted. When memories played in her mind, her eyes glazed over. She quietened. Then, as if on cue, Hop would say something, make a joke or wisecrack, throw his arm over her shoulder, and she’d snap back to reality. Her smile would return.

Her smile, her laughter, was genuine and yet forced at the same time. Her enjoyment was real, and yet overdone. When Marnie arrived, Gloria embraced her for longer than usual, her smile brighter, her voice too upbeat. All signs of the grief Gloria wanted to forget.

Marnie met Hop’s eyes, and Bede witnessed a moment of understanding pass between them, and so Marnie acted as if nothing was up. As if Gloria was always this excitable, always this bubbly. She even let Gloria drag her by her hand into the lounge to dig through their movie collection, leaving Hop and Bede to get the snacks ready.

“If I’m in charge of snacks, they’ll all be gone before the movie stars,” Gloria said with a laugh.

“I think you mean you’ll burn the house down instead,” Hop threw back. “Remember what happens when you try to make popcorn?”

Gloria’s scoff was heard loud and clear from the lounge. “That was one time!”

“And it was spectacular!”

Bede raised an eyebrow as he set the pot of popcorn kernels onto the stove, deciding not to comment on that himself.

It wasn’t long before they were all crammed together on the couch, crisp packets open, popcorn in hand, passing a bag of sweets between them. Gloria curled her legs beneath her, wishing she could focus on the movie and not the press of Bede’s arm against hers. The contact between them dug a cold knife into her chest, spreading ice through her veins until she went numb, an acute and burning reminder of why she wanted to stamp out her growing feelings for him. She didn’t want to feel this pain ever again.

Gloria bit back tears, biting hard on her bottom lip as she refused to let herself cry. Not now, not here, not with Bede next to her. But, as always, the memories that flashed in her mind were all too clear, all too real.

Waiting, wondering, confused, as the afternoon turned into night and her father hadn’t returned. A knock at the door. Running excitedly to answer it, finding a stranger in her father’s place. The crack of her mother’s voice. Hearing, but not understanding, what the officer was saying.

And the sound that tore from her mother’s throat. The sound of a heart breaking.

The movie turned into a blur of colours behind tears, and Gloria hurriedly blinked them away again. When the credits ran, they ordered food in, and she took that opportunity to flee to her room for a moment of silence. A moment alone. She leant against the door, hands clenched into fists, and took a shuddering breath. She would get through this. She would. Bede’s presence here hadn’t changed anything, she tried to remind herself. It was just Bede. Just a friend, just a movie, just another, ordinary day.

Except it wasn’t.

And the heavy, gnawing ache in her heart reminded her that Bede was no longer just a friend. Not to her.

Gloria sucked in a deep breath and steeled herself. She wasn’t going to give in. These feelings were hers, and she would control them. She had to. It was just another challenge for her to overcome. Another battle to win. Like any Pokemon battle, she had to calculate every move, had to size up her opponent and not back down. If she lost, she’d try again. Harder, faster, until she finally came out on top. Avoiding Bede didn’t work - she’d already tried that, and it only made the longing in her heart worse. She had to find a different strategy. She had to adapt.

Failure wasn’t an option here.

Gloria risked a glance at the alarm clock beside her bed and winced. It was that time again. Another detail she couldn’t forget, sewn into her mind, her memories, from the day her world changed. As much as she wanted it, nothing could distract her from this. From reliving it again and again every year that passed. Tears came quickly. Her legs buckled, and she sank against the door as wave after wave of grief crashed over her and left her breathless. Through clenched teeth, she sobbed. Tears escaped around the palms of her hands that she pressed firmly to her eyes, blocking the world out. Grief and pain burned in her lungs. Holding her breath, forcing it down, to silence her wails. To stifle her cries.

And she crumbled into a heap on the floor.

It hadn’t worked. The company of her friends, a great movie, all the snacks she could want, and it hadn’t worked. It never did. Grief came after her like a vice, striking the second she let her guard down. Striking through her defences. It left her weak. Vulnerable. No matter how many years had passed, it always came for her.

A gentle knock on her bedroom door made Gloria stiffen.

“Gloria? Hun?” her mother’s soft voice filtered through the door. “Can I come in? I’ve brought your food.”

Gloria couldn’t respond beneath the crush of grief.

There was silence for a few seconds, before Gloria’s mother said quietly, “It’s that time, isn’t it?”

A sob escaped. Gloria curled into herself further. Doubling over. Pain reared up the hollow of her throat, but made no sound.

“Can I come in?” her mother asked again. “You don’t have to handle this by yourself. I’m here too.”

Somehow, Gloria managed to draw an affirmative noise from her throat, and shifted enough away from the door so her mother could come inside. She held a container of take-away Kantonian food, and carefully knelt beside her daughter, placing the food to the side. Gloria’s lips wobbled, her face caked in tears, and fell into her mother’s arms with a wail. All the grief she’d been holding in, the agony she’d buried, came forth at once in a torrent of heartache. She couldn’t stop it. Even knowing her cries could be heard throughout the house, she could no longer keep it in. In the arms of her mother, she let it all out.

The pain, the grief, her fear and her weakness, how it felt like it was tearing her in two, as though her world was crumbling once again, she let it all out.

She clung to her mother and cried until she had no tears left to shed and her food went cold.

When Gloria emerged from her room with her mother, she hurried over to the microwave with her cold Kantonian take-away meal, and sheepishly focused on that instead of the overwhelming feeling of being watched. She knew Hop, Bede and Marnie were waiting for her, that they’d heard her cries. She cleared her throat awkwardly. It was too quiet, and the gentle humming of the microwave made the silence coming from the lounge even more obvious.

“Is everyone staying the night?” Gloria’s mother asked.

“I… I haven’t asked yet.” Gloria tried to ignore the fluttering of her heart at the idea of Bede staying the night. Usually, after she and Hop binged a few movies, they’d fall asleep on the couch or on mattresses on the floor, having talked late into the night or early morning.

“Would you two like to stay the night as well?” Gloria’s mother called to the lounge, making Gloria flush. “We have more than enough mattresses, and we’d love to have you stay.”

“Mum!”

Her mother shrugged, grinning. “It’s easier for me to just ask them now, right?”

“That’s not the point!” Gloria hissed.

“I’ll hafta check with my brother, but I’m keen,” Marnie said from the lounge.

Gloria swallowed, waiting. Her heart thumped harder in her chest, and she yanked her food from the microwave with more force than necessary.

“Of course Bede’s going to say yes,” Hop called, vaulting over the back of the couch before Bede could protest. “I’ll grab the mattresses!”

“Looks like my decision has been made for me,” Bede said and rolled his eyes, “but… as long as I’m not imposing on you, then I'll take you up on that offer.”

Gloria’s mother smiled pointedly at her. “Of course you’re not imposing on us. You’re very welcome to stay the night!”

Gloria shot a dark look at her mother, and at Hop as he passed her with two rolled up mattresses in his arms. Hop stuck his tongue out at her in return. Soon enough, the mattresses were spread out on the floor, a bundle of blankets and pillows strewn across them, and the movie-binging resumed. No one mentioned Gloria’s prior absence. Everything carried on as if nothing had happened, and she silently thanked her friends for that. The heavy ache in her heart settled into its place once again, like a raging beast having exhausted itself, and finally calmed. It remained inside her, tempered for now. A pain she doubted she’d ever be free from. At least, at this moment, she felt at ease. She felt safe.

Grief remained in her memories, slowly retreating from the marrow of her bones, and as she curled up on the couch again, her friends by her side, Gloria smiled. As the night wore on, conversation took over the movies. The TV continued playing without an audience. Even as hours passed and they had to stifle their yawns, no one suggested going to sleep. Topics jumped from one to another, from Hop’s research to the upcoming League Challenge, and how they’d have less time to catch up once it began. At some point, Marnie moved to one of the mattresses on the floor. Hop sprawled across the now-free space, and was the first to fall asleep. Gloria clicked the TV off, plunging them into darkness.

“Oh, wow, that’s dark,” Gloria laughed. Their only source of light had been the TV once Gloria’s mother went to bed and switched off the lights in the rest of the house. “Do you guys want me to turn a light on?”

“Nah, ‘m good,” came from Marnie, somewhere on the floor. She sounded muffled, as if speaking through a pillow, and Gloria wondered if she was close to falling asleep.

“I haven’t stayed up this late in ages,” Gloria said. She toned her voice down to a near-whisper. “It always makes me feel like a kid again. There’s something special about staying up past midnight.”

“It’s not something I do regularly, I’ll admit.” Bede’s voice sounded louder and closer than Gloria had expected, and she stopped herself from jumping in shock. In the darkness, she couldn’t tell where he was. It made her heart skip, her pulse scattering.

She laughed, trying to hide her nerves. “Hop and I used to stay up late all the time when we were younger,” she said quickly, keenly aware of the warmth of Bede’s arm against hers, trying to keep the conversation flowing to distract herself. He hadn’t moved, but somehow, he felt closer. “Sometimes, we’d sneak out at night and find a paddock to stargaze in. We learnt very quickly to bring a blanket or two, the first night we almost froze to death!”

“That definitely sounds like something you would do,” Bede said.

She heard the smile in his voice, and was suddenly glad that he couldn’t see her as she flushed. Affronted by her own reaction to the sound of Bede’s voice, she curled up tighter on the couch in defiance. Her insides bubbled and crawled at the same time. Enjoying yet despising the feeling. The contrasting emotions swirling within her fought against each other for dominance in her mind, and it left her drained and sapped of energy. She didn’t know whether to relish or fear the way Bede managed to tug on her heart.

“Have you ever stayed up all night?” Gloria asked. She needed to fill the silence, to stop her mind, and heart, from wandering. All was quiet from the mattress on the floor, and she couldn’t tell if Marnie had fallen asleep, or was just listening.

“A few times,” Bede admitted. “Mostly after I’d just taken over the Fairy Gym. I’d work late into the night and before I’d realised it, the sun was rising.”

Gloria snorted. “You workaholic.”

“That’s rich, coming from a slugabed.” Amusement softened his voice.

“Says you! At least I don’t have grey hair!”

“It’s platinum-blond.”

Gloria suppressed a laugh. “Sure it is. That’s why you fit right in at the Fairy Gym.”

“I’m wise beyond my years, something you could learn from.”

“And go grey before my twenties? No thanks!”

“Who’s fault would that be, I wonder?” Bede said, his tone light. “I believe the greatest stressor in my life would be you at the moment. Haen’t you already taken the blame for that?”

“You’ll go grey and no one would even notice!” Gloria snickered. “How sad!”

“I’d rather overwork than put a Snorlax to shame. Or was it a rock?”

Gloria gave him a shove with her elbow. “A girl needs her beauty sleep!”

“Then I’m not sure you’re sleeping enough for that-”

“Hey!” Gloria scoffed.

Bede’s stifled laugh set her heart skittering away in her chest. “I had to, that was too good to pass up.”

Gloria pouted even though Bede couldn’t see her in the dark, her cheeks flushed hard enough to burn. His teasing always had this effect on her, stirring her blood and stealing the air from her lungs, leaving her mind blank.

“If I had one of those pillows, I’d throw it at you,” Gloria huffed.

“That sounds like a threat.”

“You’d better believe it’s a threat!”

“Wow, Gloria,” Bede feigned disbelief, mirth coating his words, “I never knew you could be so violent.”

“Just you wait until I get my hands on a pillow.”

“I’m not stopping you.”

Gloria narrowed her eyes towards Bede’s voice.

“Unless you’re too scared to lose…”

The insinuation, the challenge, in his words made Gloria bristle. “Oh, that’s it!” Instead of fumbling in the dark for a pillow, she yanked the couch cushion out from behind her and thwacked Bede with it. She got a satisfying, and muffled, gasp of shock from him, right before the cushion was snatched from her hands.

“Hey-”

A cushion to her face cut Gloria off. She swallowed her grumble, and wrenched out the cushion from behind Hop, using it as a shield before swinging it blindly at Bede. Hop made an incoherent noise that was lost under Gloria’s squawk as she struggled to keep her cushion out of Bede’s hands.

“That’s cheating!”

“There are no rules in pillow fights,” Bede said, before a loud thump followed, and his grip on Gloria’s cushion slackened. She tugged it back, barely making out a second figure in the dark.

“Marnie?!”

“I got your back!”

“Now that’s-” Bede was cut off by another thump “-definitely cheating!”

Gloria bit back her laugh. “There are no rules in pillow fights!” She lifted her cushion to swing again, and it was snatched from her. “What-?”

“Ha! Sneak attack!” Hop cried, smacking Gloria in the back with her cushion.

“It’s not a sneak attack if you announce it!” Gloria huffed at him. “Now give that back!”

“Never!”

Gloria raised her arms in time to block Hop’s blow, but the impact shoved her backwards enough for her to topple onto Bede. A split second later, a pillow whacked her in the face. Her cry was muffled by the pillow, and another blow came before she could right herself or pull herself off of Bede. He stiffened against her, a sharp gasp escaping him in the midst of the chaos.

“Wait-” A cushion thumped into her as she scrambled to protest. “Let me get up-!”

In the dark, she couldn’t tell how, exactly, she was positioned on top of Bede, except that his legs were definitely beneath her back. She tried and failed to push herself up in between blows, her hands fumbling to find purchase on something that wasn’t Bede’s thighs.

“Hop!” Gloria hissed. She tried to swat away his next blow and ended up hitting Bede’s face instead. “Sorry!”

With nothing left to lose, and receiving blows from multiple directions, Gloria struck out with her foot. Hop groaned, and she took her chance. Pushing up off Bede, she snatched back her cushion from Hop, and smacked him in the face with it.

“Low blow!” Hop wheezed. “Against the rules!”

“There are no rules in pillow fights!” Gloria, Marnie and Bede echoed each other.

“Alright, alright, alright!” he said hurriedly. “Truce! I’m calling a truce!”

A light clicked on, blinding them all and making Gloria wince.

“I was wondering what was going on in here,” Gloria’s mother said, staring at them by the lightswitch, dressed in pyjamas. “This looks like an unsanctioned pillow fight to me.”

“Oops.” Gloria grinned sheepishly, slowly lowering her cushion.

“Gloria started it!” Hop said quickly.

“Hey!”

Gloria’s mother shook her head, though a smile remained on her face. “I’m glad you’re all having fun, but you do realise what the time is, don’t you? I thought you’d at least try to get a few good hours of sleep.”

“I apologise for disturbing your sleep,” Bede said. Any amusement that might’ve been present on his face drained away and he slid the cushion in his arms back into place on the couch. “I wasn’t aware of how loud we were being.”

Marnie shrunk, holding her pillow to her chest.

“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Gloria’s mother said. “With Gloria and Hop, I’m well and truly used to disturbances like these.”

“Sorry, mum!” Gloria chimed. Despite taking multiple blows from cushions and pillows alike, she felt lighter. As if a weight had eased off her chest. When they settled into the darkness once more, cushions back in place on the couch, the slow pull of fatigue descended over Gloria, and the weight returned. All too quickly, the moment of laughter they’d had vanished from her mind.

Silence, and darkness, took hold. The night wasn’t over just yet. Not willing to give in to grief so easily, Gloria tried to fight it again. She led the conversation, keeping everyone talking until Hop’s steady breathing came from her left, and soon Marnie stopped replying. Gloria’s heart sank, threatening to drag her back into memories, into pain. She shifted to keep her mind occupied, and accidentally bumped the side of her head against Bede’s shoulder.

“Oh! Sorry,” Gloria said, shuffling away from him. She curled up into a more comfortable position with her back to Hop, and nestled into the couch cushions. Her eyes drifted shut as she tried to block out the hollow ache building in her chest.

Bede’s voice gently floated out of the darkness. “How are you feeling?”

She didn’t know how to answer that.

“You don’t need to say anything,” he continued. “Just… know that we’re here for you. I’m sure Marnie would agree with me when I say that you can rely on us too. If, for whatever reason, you can’t lean on Hop, you can always come to us.”

Gloria pressed her lips together to stop them trembling. Her throat tightened. Heat washed over her eyes. She wished to say something, to reply to Bede with more than just silence, but nothing came out. Instead, she reached for him. Fumbled in the dark for his arm, giving it the slightest squeeze, and without thinking, Gloria leant towards him and pressed her brow to his shoulder. Her heart clenched as Bede rested his hand over hers. She began to shake, to buckle, to break. Warmth enveloped her, an arm looped around her back to hold her close. In the silence, no words were needed. As Gloria shook, as her tears came without a sound, as she held Bede’s hand so tightly she feared hurting him, they remained together.

And finally, after what seemed like endless tears, endless hours, the night gave way to dawn.

It was over.

56 notes · View notes