By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. Nine-tenths of wisdom is being wise in time.
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When the need to succeed is as bad as the need to breathe, then you’ll be successful.
ERIC THOMAS
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A leader is a dealer in hope
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
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The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mark Russel
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Robert Bloch
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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Dave Barry
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Why do people say “no offense” right before they’re about to offend you?
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
SOCRATES
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Emo Philips
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The best way to lie is to tell the truth . . . carefully edited truth.
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In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
THOMAS JEFFERSON
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Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
VINCE LOMBARDI
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If not us, who? If not now, when?
HILLEL THE ELDER
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Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
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The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
CHINESE PROVERB
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Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.
ROY L. GOODMAN
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Greg King
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