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Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

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2025-07-06

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Bloggers souls are worth 2.7× the amount of a regular human soul

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China's 14 most terrifying places, off-limits to tourists (do not venture lightly)

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earl grey really put his whole pussy into his tea blend i dont know what the fuck a bergamot is but this shit tastes like men's deodorant and it fucks!

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BREAKING: the James Webb Space Telescope has detected signs of intelligent drum and bass on MASS-IV 3, formerly believed to be a Jungle planet. Scientists describe the revelation as "wicked"

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as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

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kyaaaa I'm late to vampire school *runs out while holding a dude by the neck in my mouth*

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i feel like tumblr doesnt know about the pain and suffering that is english tap water,,,, girl there are stalagmites inside me

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they should make a rhythm heaven minigame where a cat makes a weird sound and i try to imitate the weird sound after the cat.

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Boobs freak me out

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Art by seongryul

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My friend called me out for always having my feet in frame behind me when I send video messages- god forbid a bitch be whimsical, goooood forbid a bitch kick his feet back and forth as he talk to you- have you no glee? No childhood wonder? No joy???

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(mostly) amber nights in Malta