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lusees · 2 months
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[Yu Jonghyuk's "▪️▪️" is "Open Ending"]
Lil theory of mine :) his story has no end written out for him. Instead, it's decided by the reader... dokja. Kim dokja chooses his Ending, which is also most fitting because we don't know it, and it was never revealed. Therefore open ended~
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lusees · 2 months
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"When something fucked up is treated as a joke but later it's recognised how fucked up it was and the audience feels guilty for finding it funny" haha "I'm the protagonist" cringe
I love when fiction makes the audience feel guilty about their role as the audience. When something fucked up is treated as a joke but later it's recognised how fucked up it was and the audience feels guilty for finding it funny. When a character breaks the fourth wall to plead for help, and you can't do anything so you just watch. And you know that the characters pain isn't real, but they're begging for help and you're not helping because their suffering is entertainment for you
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lusees · 3 months
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lusees · 3 months
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I haven't really said much about what I think of him from a writing perspective, though I certainly have a lot to say - but I really think it goes underappreciated just how logistically impressive of a character Mikoto is besides his VA's performance. Despite being presented as a wild card, he fits seamlessly into the wider MILGRAM narrative. He's the most obvious demonstration of one of MILGRAM's major themes - plurality, which I'd argue is as much of a repeating theme as love or punishment. He's also a reflection of Es on a personal level and a great foil to Kotoko.
Whenever someone says that Mikoto having DID is bad writing, it annoys me so much because that I really do not think it is. Mikoto of all prisoners being a system makes so much sense because it fits him so well you simply cannot subtract it from him - two of the central themes of Mikoto’s character is built around identity and lack of power - e.g. building his identity around what others want of him. Exploited as an employee by his boss - and that’s echoed with DID. Uncertain sense of identity due to dissociation. Not having complete control over his own body.
All of the alters have their own reasoning behind what they do that may contradict each other's and cause them to clash. However, MILGRAM doesn't present any of them as being in the wrong. We're given enough reason to sympathize with any of them and understand them. And again, this is impressive because these are two or three different characters that make up Mikoto as a whole, all of them having a place in the story.
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lusees · 3 months
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The thing about milgram is that at the end of the day no matter what heinous actions got them in this situation all these characters are a victim of a system that has done more harm than it proclaims to do good. The characters are flawed people with selfdestructive tendencies that end(ed) up affecting others and i will nawt be persuaded into ostracizing them because some mysogynistic bunny with horns told me theyre murderers that deserve to be punished and thats independent on whether i approve/condone/excuse their actions or not
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lusees · 3 months
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i think the way the book became 3rd person pov when kim dokja got off the train is one of the most fucking genius literary moves ive seen in years
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lusees · 3 months
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「The story 'Life and Death Companions' wants to continue.」
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lusees · 3 months
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Shidou Kirisaki killed for his son, not his wife
After a lot of thinking, I think I've got a solid theory for how Shidou's crime went. Stick with me here
His wife and 2 kids get into a car crash, and only his oldest child survives. He needs organ transplants, but due to the complicated perception of brain death in Japan, there's not enough organ donors.
Shidou starts trying to convince families of brain dead patients to sign them up as organ donors, but doesn't get the organs he needs for his son because he's not in control of what goes where obviously.
He gets more desperate as time goes on and his child's state worsens, and just kills braindead patients himself, making it seem like an accident. Again he's not in control of where the organs go, so he has to kill many people so that the organs can go to his surviving family.
His son dies during the organ transplant, or shortly after.
Shidou turns himself in because he has nothing to live for anymore.
Evidence & other details under the cut v
The car crash
In the intro of Triage, Shidou is walking home with groceries. By itself it's not weird or anything, but it could imply that his wife had the car to drive the kids to or from school at that moment.
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In the scene of Throw Down where Shidou wakes up (alone, in a double bed), it zooms on broken glass on the floor. Glass in cars are made to break into pieces when they suffer shock.
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In his T2 interrogation, Shidou is asked that question.
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His wife and youngest kid die in the crash, his oldest kid is the only one that survives
In Triage, his youngest child is always clinging to their mother, implying a certain connection between them. (this is going somewhere I swear)
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The theme of receipts being patient files is present in both Throw Down and Triage; so when this scene in Triage happens, it implies that he's giving those lives to his son. He does not do the same for his wife, or his youngest kid.
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In the part where he puts his hand over his face in Triage, you can see that. Again with the 2 groups.
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In Throw Down, 2 wilted flowers are under a glass case, while one wilted flower isn't. That could symbolize that 2 of them are enclosed in a coffin, and the last one isn't, even though he's already wilted.
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The receipt/patient file that Shidou rips up at the end of Throw Down: it's hard to see what it says exactly (what organ IS that), but you can see that the XY chromosomes are ticked off. So unless his wife is trans (which would be great), the last file to expire, or be destroyed, or the life to die, is a boy's. That's why I keep referring to his oldest child as a boy (unless that child is trans which would be great again, but I doubt that milgram would do that). The name there says something like Rei/Kei/Kai Kirisaki. It would be confusing if both Shidou's son and Mu's victim are named Rei, but that might be the case.
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Shidou tries to convince families to sign their braindead relatives as organ donors
Aesculapius:
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Shidou stops asking and just takes the organs (or kills the braindead patients) himself, passing it off as accidents
Throw Down: You can see him reassuring a grieving family, and "sniffing out lies"
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Aesculapius:
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I think it would be weird if his "murder" was just convincing families to sign their relatives up as organ donors (even though that does count as medical malpractice)
His son dies during the organ transplant, or shortly after
Throw Down: His human-shaped flower abomination starts moving again, but after stepping out of the hospital bed, it crumbles into pieces, and Shidou is horrified. Flowers represent the lives he's cutting to add to it.
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Shidou turns himself in
I have no evidence for that one, but what else would he even do. In the start of T1, he's asking for the death sentence.
Other Fun Facts:
Shidou used to cook pancakes for his kids. That's why he's so insistant on Amane trying them in minigram. (There are two plates of them on the floor.)
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His children liked to draw. probably why he's started drawing as a hobby in milgram.
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The intro of Triage where he's walking home with groceries is (according to me) a memory of the day he got the news of the car crash. You can see the groceries through the MV, discarded on the floor or rotting. They're pomegranates, whose insides look like human organs - and he gives the receipts for them to his son. At first it's just groceries, but then they're human lives.
The phone call translates to "Hi this is Kirisaki, I'm busy right now, please call later" or something like that, implying he was busy when someone called to inform him of the deaths.
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lusees · 3 months
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IK IT'S SUS LOOKIN, but literal definition of "don't judge a book by its cover" or title in this case. It's a beautiful story about 2 outcasts of society and how they're seen as dirty and it's prequel where a gay man doesn't want a boy to think he has two dads. Ugh the prequel brooo TT^TT
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lusees · 3 months
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Imagine getting isekai’ed into otome game as a background character, watching the main character going down routes as you live your peaceful, mundane life, but you’ve unknowingly been going down a route as well, a route for a hidden character that you didn’t discover during your time playing the game.
That character being the reason the game has a dark content warning.
Gosh anon, that idea is so good!!!! I didn't know it would tickle all the right places in my brain, but when I started I couldn't stop lol. Love it, thank you for sending it in ♥
If this had one of these super long titles that are tmi it would be:
I got Isekai'ed into an Otome Game as a Background Character and now I Have to Finish It with the Secret Yandere Love Interest!!
»»———————— ♡ ————————««     
A serene smile spread over your lips as you watched the two lovebirds in the corner of your coffee shop.
Swirling the milk into a cup, it created a little white heart surrounded by foamy coffee, its aroma drifting into your nose. Had someone told you that the little things like a cup of coffee made with love and care were enough to give you the peace of mind you always wanted in your previous life, you would have laughed at them. For you, it had always been the hustle, the making money, finding a partner, and creating a family. Make everyone proud while being successful, whether it costs you nights of sleep or days without proper meals. But looking at yourself now, it all seemed so far away now, and you let out a content sigh before setting down the cup in front of the customer at the bar. 
"You seem happy today," your regular at the counter noted, picking up the cup and taking a moment to appreciate the aroma just like you had. A smile sneaked onto their lips, too, after they took a sip, and you couldn't help but feel your heart swell with pride and happiness when they gave you a satisfied nod. 
"I am! I'm really getting accustomed to my new life here, it's... been a while since I've been so content."
The truth behind everything that happened to you was something you couldn't speak about lightly. Not when it turned the life you knew upside down, leaving you to start over completely. One day you were an employee of a well-known company, responsible for sales and reports and everything stressful. And the next, you were in your favorite, cozy video game, running the coffee shop the main character liked to visit with all the romance options in the game.
Isekai was the genre that came to mind when you thought about your situation. Luckily you were spared the memories of your death in the real world, the circumstances blurry as you barely remembered going home late from work, only to wake up in this very different universe. Perhaps you were just comatose, and this was a dream. Still, by now, you had managed to slip into your role as the barista of the small coffee shop, a barely mentioned background character, just fine.
Your eyes jumped back to the couple in the corner, giggling and teasing each other over a group project, and you felt an immense relief you weren't reincarnated as the main protagonist and had to go through the years of studying and trying to establish connections with the love interests again. You already did that in your old life, and it wasn't as romantic and fun as the game made it out to be. You only played it because it got your mind off things, the art was pretty, and it had the exact amount of cozy time management you needed to relax. But living as the main character in it? No, thank you!
"Jealous?" your regular teased, and you chuckled, shaking your head. They tapped their—now empty—cup, and you took it from them, replacing it with some water until you had the next cup of coffee ready for them.
"I just think it's cute. I never had someone so interested in me they'd take me out for coffee and share their cake with me when I was younger."
Your words tasted a little bitter on your tongue. Still, you genuinely couldn't wish for anything but the main character's happiness. It was just the feeling of being loved, desired, and wanted that you missed, even though your new life was more than satisfactory despite you feeling a little lonely sometimes.
"Well, it's never too late to start," they chuckled, taking up their fork and cutting off the tip of their strawberry shortcake, including the big chunk of strawberry on top, picking it up and holding it out towards you. 
"Oh, I wouldn't dare--"
"I insist! As thanks for the amazing coffee every time I come here."
Nudging your lips with their fork, you let out an awkward chuckle. It was okay, right? They wouldn't sue you for eating the cake they paid for, would they? This was just a silly little game. What could go wrong with you accepting their kindness?
Opening your lips, you let them feed you the cake, taking a moment to let the sweet and fruity notes mix with the fluffy whip cream before you were sent straight to heaven. Not to toot your own horn, but your baking skills had improved so much since you started working at the shop. Who knew you had that in you?
Occupied with the moment of bliss as you let the cake flavor mix in your mouth, you hummed happily before devoting yourself back to making the coffee with a smile on your face. Unaware of your regular fixating on the fork you had just eaten from, staring at it like it was some strange artifact. Your phone dinged softly in its drawer, and you checked it briefly to see the notification pinging up, saying, "Achievement unlocked: Cake-Master - Provide the most delicious cake to your customers."
"Excuse me!" the main character called out to you, stepping up to the counter, and you directed your attention to her, ignoring the little game notification you've been receiving since starting your new life here, the love interest not far away before the two began fighting over who was going to pay the bill this time lovingly. Of course, the love interest won, but you wouldn't have expected it any other way. Seeing the blush on the main character's face after her romance option told her he'd "always take care" of her made you grin like a little fan, and you cheered them on in your head. 
By the time you returned to your regular, their knuckles had gone white with how hard they were gripping the fork in their hand, their eyes following the couple who was about to leave. For a moment, it made you wonder if they had a crush on either of them, their sweet interaction surely uncomfortable if that was the case. But you didn't remember there being a jealousy scene in the game. You'd know, almost playing it 100% before your death. There apparently was a secret route you never got but were trying your hardest to achieve. Now you were left to wonder what it entailed.
But the second you returned, they looked up at you, expression softening and the tension disappearing, and you chalked it up to having witnessed a cringe moment that they had gotten so awkward. "Thank you for the cake, that was really nice of you! Do you want another fork?" you asked and were met with a headshake and a smile. 
They quickly began eating their cake and complimenting your baking skills, stroking your growing ego when they rubbed their belly. 
"I never had a cake that good!" they proclaimed, and you laughed out loud, overjoyed that you had made them so happy. 
"Say..." they suddenly spoke up again, leaning on the counter and watching you with gentle eyes. Your heart set out for a second, tension rising as you didn't know what they were going to ask. Ever since you opened the coffee shop, the main character, love interests, and this regular had come by constantly. If you were honest, you enjoyed their visits more and more. Their presence felt like it belonged here with you, and you were a part of something bigger after all, washing away the small, lonely part of you. 
And maybe... just maybe... this was how your happy end would play out.
"Are you this nice to every customer?"
Halting your movements, you set aside the brew head that you used on the espresso machine, despite having to clean it, thinking about your answer for a moment. It was a strange question to ask someone who worked in customer service. Still, you appreciated your regular, so you didn't want to give them a snarky answer.
"Uhm, well, I am just trying to make everyone feel welcome! But of course, it's a bit different with my regulars! After all, they come here often, like a second family. So I guess I'm a bit nicer because you really get to know and appreciate these people that stay to chat and tell stories."
"I see," they muttered. "Family, huh..."
After that, you suddenly were swamped with sudden orders, excusing yourself to fulfill them, chatting and laughing with even the people that were just passing by. Maybe you really were just nice? Perhaps this new environment had made you more relaxed and gentle than the harsh world you lived in, and it was showing? But their question was shoved into the back of your mind as you kept fulfilling orders and earning your keep.
Once the rush was over, you returned to your regular, only to find their seat empty. Strange, you thought. You could have sworn that you felt their eyes on you the whole time you were away, but luckily, they didn't walk out on their tab, leaving the money and a folded-up napkin beneath their empty cup for you to find. You quickly stored away the bills, trusting your regular with knowing what they had to pay after so many weeks of the same order.
You were about to throw away their napkin when you noticed some red marks on them, unwrapping the paper to find a note scribbled in what you had to assume was ink. 
"You're so beautiful when you laugh."
The surprise wore off quite fast, and you smiled, thinking nothing of it but that it was a nice compliment from your regular. Still, you ended up throwing the napkin away—not knowing if it was dirty, after all—taking the coffee cup and plate to the sink to clean them, overseeing the red tip on the fork that was too dark to be from the strawberry.
The rest of your day was uneventful, and by the time you were closing, you were tired and ready to tug in for the night, wrapping up your business at the shop quickly before walking home. You didn't have a chance to look at your phone since you glanced at the achievement notification, so you took it out, startled when you saw a dozen new messages. 
Achievement unlocked: Happy new life - Be content with your new life
Achievement unlocked: A fork for two! - Share a fork with someone special
Achievement unlocked: Jealousy - Make someone special jealous
Achievement unlocked: Soothing - Calm someone special down with your presence
Achievement unlocked: Family - Have someone be moved by your words
Achievement unlocked: The nicest person in town - Be beloved by all, but especially by someone special
Achievement unlocked: Blood in the cup - Have someone hurt themselves at your coffee shop
Achievement unlocked: Wonder-Barista - Complete twenty orders in less than thirty minutes
Achievement unlocked: Strange compliment - Receive a compliment through unusual means
Achievement unlocked: Blooming infatuation - Have someone special fall in love with you
Achievement unlocked: Shop-Pro! - Close the shop twenty times after making a profit from your work
Achievement unlocked: Tired - Hard workers deserve to relax
You blinked a few times, surprised by what you were reading and a little weirded out by some of these achievements. They gave you some extra coins in your shop till and reputation with the townspeople, so you usually didn't mind them. But to say some of their descriptions were weird was an understatement. You couldn't even remember someone getting hurt at your workplace that day.
By the time you reached your apartment, you decided to ignore the strange notifications and just let the day come to an end with a hot bath and your favorite show. But you were startled when your phone suddenly began ringing loudly, even though you had turned off the sound back at the coffee shop after the first notification. The first messages that appeared before you were more achievements, and you stopped turning the key in your door as you read them.
Achievement unlocked: Follower - Have someone special follow you home
Achievement unlocked: Welcome home! - Arrive at home, not alone
Achievement unlocked: Wherever you go, I'll be watching you - Ɨ ΔΜ ΔŁŴΔ¥Ş ŴΔŦĆĦƗŇǤ ¥ØỮ
Lifting your head, you looked around you, glancing over your shoulder and into the courtyard below. No one was out; everyone was at home eating dinner and occupied with their lives. Confused, you swiped all the notifications away before another pop-up appeared.
ALERT! You're about to enter X's route. Do you want to continue?
> Yes > No
Panicked at this point, you pressed "No," but nothing happened. You kept tapping it repeatedly, not understanding what was happening with your phone. But nothing changed, the notification staying in place. The sound of something breaking inside your apartment tore your focus away from your phone, startling you. 
You must have finally managed to close it, the pop-up disappearing just as you unlocked the door to your apartment, still having held on to the key when you were surprised by the sound. Darkness and silence greeted you from inside, everything seemingly normal.
Majorly confused, you shook your head, slowly entering the hallway leading inside. "Hello?" you called out, reaching for the light switch. The light flickered on, and... there was no one. Holding your breath, no sound reached your ears, and you groaned, realizing you got freaked out about... nothing. 
This wasn't some kind of horror game, and the story never had a murder-solving subplot. True, the ratings for it were kind of strange—it being rated as 18+ on the website—but seriously, what should happen in a cozy little city like the one the game played in? You didn't even think they had a police station here.
Pushing off your shoes as you shrugged off the weird feeling from before, you walked up the hallway to your living room, turning on the light before coming to an abrupt halt. There were broken pieces of glass underneath your living room window, but what really freaked you out came into view only when you lifted your head. You could look into the mirror of your cabinet door from your position, red marker dripping from it as if someone had hastily scribbled on it just seconds ago. You weren't sure it was a pen anymore, judging by its deep red color and the fluidity of it.
"𝘪 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺"
Your phone pinged.
Achievement unlocked: 
On the Highway to Hell - Unlock the secret route
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lusees · 3 months
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just been thinking about them once in a while… this anime really made me feel so introspective about my past and present relationships (in a good way)
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lusees · 3 months
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I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.
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lusees · 3 months
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an escort, a yakuza, and a manga artist walk into a kindergarten class
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lusees · 3 months
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happy birthday dear reader
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lusees · 3 months
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hey, do you remember if mikoto/john ever made any comment about the viewer's opinions? fuuta outright tells the voices to shut up, amane acknowledges them when fuuta asks her about it, and mahiru mostly just feels like her thoughts and love are being rejected. i dont think mikoto/john ever even acknowledge the viewers thoughts about their situation outside the double mv and vd, and even then that could be about what es thinks about them and not the omniscient viewers.
They do!
It's one of the things specifically highlighted by Milgram and Yamanaka within his tweet about Mikoto's voice drama. Through the fact that they recognize and view what Es has deduced through Milgram as valid.
To keep it short. Mikoto references the audience opinions in these instances.
"Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" (Doesn't directly reference Es just that things now feel like they never end. Along with things he's never even heard before.)
"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" (Specifically asking Es how they think this works instead of divulging any information he's heard from the audience that would in fact be beneficial to Es who after being asked immediately shows they don't know a damn thing about it. Staying consistent with what happened in Amane's voice drama prior.)
"Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing." (Recognition of the punishment attached to the guilty verdict working properly for Mikoto and that's adding to his stress. So, yeah he's hearing the voices.)
"You know that because of Milgram! I don't care about the law, I want to know what you think!"
His birthday interaction from last year. (Him asking if there's really another him implies, he has heard the audience bring it up.)
His birthday interaction with Futa after his verdict.
21/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) Mikoto: ……ah, Futa? What’s up? Did you come to celebrate my birthday? Futa: Hah!? Like I care about your birthday. ……what’s up with you, though, you’re usually a lot more excited. I thought you were the sort of idiot who’d make a big deal over your birthday. Mikoto: Yeah, usually that’d be the case. ……I think I must be getting tired. It’s like I’m anxious over something but I can’t really explain what it is…… Like, the feeling that I’ve been totally wrong about something. Haha, but it’s not like talking to you about it is gonna do anything. Futa: Yeah, yeah, just like you say. Talking to me about it isn’t gonna help. ……but, it’s not like I don’t get what you’re saying. Or rather, I understand exactly what you mean. And if it’s the same thing as I’ve been feeling, then it will just get stronger as time goes on…… probably. But anyway, rather than talking to someone like me you should go and bother the others. Go and get showered with their stupid birthday wishes.
Also, the fact that Mikoto's entire defense for his actions pivoted from I don't remember, and Milgram probably got the wrong guy by mistake to the other one did it. Which not much different from the excuse he gave before but was an excuse widely jumped on and presented by the audience after he was called out for faking for a good period of time and being bad rep. Well, to say the least- It puts a different meaning behind this line,
"“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"
Since it encapsulates what his first trial was like in a nutshell. Where people either called him out for faking/lying or blamed the alter for all the violent acts making him out to be the scoundrel. People even posited that what we see in MeMe is fake because it's far more graphic than the others and cuts and that this could be due to him having DID and lookie here.
In fact Mikoto's mental footage was so violent... "It's unforgivable." That was my judgment. "That too could be just a fake or attributed to multiple personalities, right?!"
Overall Mikoto, like many of the prisoners, does not state what the audience has told him. However, he heavily implies through his actions he's been told something. What that something is we don't know and given his first verdict percentage he would not be as inclined to tell us as the others would. Hell, even then a lot of others don't tell is. We were never shown what innocent does to a person outside of this from Mu.
21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday) Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me? Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~ Mu: How mean…Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself. Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother… ……so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?
But yeah, since you were just asking if he referenced the audience outside of his voice drama and music video there's no need to read the rest here. What comes after this basically goes over how I tend to tell when the prisoners are subtly referring to the audience and other things but it's very long.
Now onto the interesting stuff. Because I wrote this before rereading the question and seeing you were asking about things outside of the voice drama and song. So, I'm leaving it.
Mikoto discusses the audience in the way similar to how Mahiru does. Never referring to the audience or the voices as an individual entity or directly instead either referring to that as Milgram collectively or referring to it as an extension of Es' actions and decisions.
Even in Double and I Love You neither of them refer to a big group of people but go "You".
"What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."/ "“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"
Unlike the rest of the prisoners who refer to multiple parties, Mikoto and Mahiru couldn't give a damn less about who is causing them problems and considers the audience, Es, and Milgram all the same entity. Never really separating the three entities. Because they don't care to.
Other to do this are Haruka, Shidou, and Kotoko if I'm remembering correctly.
"I will definitely make you love me again."-"Hug me again as you once did."
"You don’t even know yet, and yet."- "What do you mean INNOCENT, if this is my punishment... Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless. The vote that negates the option of death, the love that won’t perish."- "No thank you, it’s none of your concern."- "Shall I fulfill your request and elect to live."
"That's why I became your fangs."- "Tell me why you tell me, “Stop'. Don’t you dare stop now."
Kotoko and Shidou do something interesting in their second trial songs having parts where they both directly refer to Es and the audience separately within their songs. Referring to Es at the beginning and then the audience in the second half.
"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."
Shidou Trial 2 Voice Drama
"But... as long as Milgram continues in this direction. We won't be able to save those who get injured if I'm not forgiven." ...! "Even now, Shiina-kun is in a condition where any digression could be fatal. She can't live without my treatment. If I'm not forgiven she will end up dying."
Just want to highlight how Shidou uses the same tactic as Mu but somehow what he does ends up succeeding and what she did doesn't. A lot of people may think that's because none of them asked to be put in that situation and Kotoko was the one who attacked. Yet, my honest response to that would be what the fuck is actually stopping Shidou from helping if he was guilty? Like prisoners who were Guilty once can still move around and interacting with others. Unless we're just assuming that the punishment for being guilty trial two is worse than one which wouldn't make sense and wouldn't be fair considering this would just simply for many of the prisoners be their first time being guilty. But this is Milgram so maybe who knows. What the fuck is stopping him from teaching or instructing someone else in how to help if he were restrained? He even said Amane could be assisting him and Yuno has been. He's very replaceable, actually. It's wild this worked.
As we will get into it is wild any of them are getting away with what they are.
He also doesn't say this as if it will change later instead literally stating that Mahiru now just can't live without his help which given injuries should not be true but fuck it's not like she's been getting better so honestly yeah, he's right.
That's... true I suppose. "From now on conflict between the prisoners will probably become more frequent."
Dude why the fuck does he say this??? Like no I'm being serious why does he fucking say this? Especially considering last we heard from Haruka in his second trial voice drama he and Kazui are meant to have been negotiating a ceasefire? This sounds like something an individual about to start a conflict would say.
Someone about to throw down if you will. Like what the fuck does he know in regards to this? Most of the other prisoners are simply attempting to mind their business and he's the only one who directly states hostility towards Kotoko in various ways. Sounds like some shit somebody who wants start trouble says.
"If I'm not there... They will be in even more danger!"
Bitch you will be there guilty or not. Where do you think you go if you're guilty? The sunken place because of the guilt and constant bombardment of being told your wrong by the audience. Fucking other people were still able to help and speak to others while guilty. The child did it grow a backbone man you're an adult and apparently you hold a lot of stake in that... So, at least make it make sense why you do.
In case Shidou has forgotten we have a third trial you fucking manchild. You think we're gonna kill you immediately after you're voted guilty in this second trial out of three. The fuck is Shidou's second voice drama fearmongering 101?! Why the fuck is he acting like this towards the end?
I bet you're thinking Gunsli is this your first time listening to Shidou's voice drama and honestly yeah it is.
Man is in here like what will they do without me when a majority of viewers have pretty much agreed the child can take him out/is a serious threat to his safety. At the point that's true and a genuine concern if anyone wants him dead in this facility he is going to die. Like I don't know why he came in here acting like this verdict gonna make him someone he ain't and never was.
Like man you couldn't even take care of your own- You want us to leave you in charge and responsible of even more people. Meanwhile Shidou's kids in Triage out here looking like they need Yusuke Urameshi not Shidou Kirisaki. What will they do without me? Man I don't know probably have a better grasp of road safety. You know just spitballing some guesses here.
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He came in here really pretending to be the guy and for who? Himself because he's fucking weak and emotinally immature. He can't handle the mental stress of a guilty verdict, he couldn't even handle his own social relations when his wife was alive or taking care their kids after she died or got ill.
Like listening to the end of his second trial interrogation is legit hearing him hype up his own importance like he's going to be a meidcal doctor on the frontlines of a war and to vote him guilty is to immediately kill him stopping people from getting aid. When that's not what's occuring here at all he's still going to be in Milgram and he will still have another trial. Like maybe he thinks that's what's occuring because of Kotoko but that's even weirder. Because there are more people against her in the prison than for her. One of which is fucking Kazui who is already guarding him?
Shidou... "I need to be punished... But I also need to stay alive or young lives will be lost."
Oh, Shidou you're such a martyr.... Pushing to the side your selfish desire to die because you're sick of living with yourself, your own failings, and the fact that the things you worked towards weren't the benefit you thought they would be and instead a massive failure- All because you've found something that validates your existence again. Something that,
"Tells me, the reason it’s ok to be here."
Again I need to highlight we're not fucking killing him with this verdict telling someone what they did was wrong is nowhere close to comparable to murder. Also Kotoko can attack them whether he's innocent or not. It's not like she is completely bound to acting in accordance with Milgram's rules as has been highlighted before. But he keeps pushing this idea subtly that not only will Mahiru die if we vote him guilty but he will too.
Not even touching on the fact the one to bring up a death sentence or execution as a result of the trials to begin with was Shidou. He brought it to this point and is now lamenting about it being there like oh what should I do.
"I... I don't know what to wish for anymore. I'm starting to think that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven... Despite being so riddled with sins...! ..." Shidou... Do you remember what i told you? "..." Back when you were still fine with dying at any moment, I told you to deperately want to live. "Punishments for sins exist in the first place because we have an attachment to life. your existence in itself is a sacriliege to Milgram and myself", I said. "Yes... I remember." And now, finally, you've gotten attached to life and finally become a real prisoners of Milgram. That's what I believe. You wanting to be forgiven and your wish... Those are the steps that now represent you. "...That won't do... I musn't be forgiven. Otherwise... the countless lives I've taken will never be paid back." Heh. If you're really trying to give up your life as compensation for the people you've killed, then there's no reason to stay alive that will hold up anyway. "..." Don't face them with a life that you're so willing to throw away.
Es greatly sums up the main issue with Shidou's logic. He is ready and willing to die. Yet, all the people he killed weren't. Usually people seek medical attention for help, because they want to live. Because they're in pain and they don't want it to get worse. Thesse are people who are trying to survive and seeking out what they believe is the most appropriate help for either themselves, a family member, hell even a stranger on the street if someone calls an ambulance.
It's incredibly tragic when help doesn't get there soon enough but it's down right dispicable when the help is there and decides no you'll die today because I feel like it. You understand what it's like to have to take in order to give and I need to take from you to give something to myself. We're all suffering and you know some people like myself deserve to suffer less than others so this is just how it has to be.
Since that's the case-
"You're in my way...hurry up and die."
I see no difference between this and this.
"Please, go ahead and die already."
Excpet one of the people making this sort of statement puts a lot of stock in being a mature adult and never acting childishly. While the other is at least emotionally honest about their mistakes.
Why did I bring all of this up? To highlight a key difference between Shidou's voice drama and his song. Es never rebuts Shidou for saying he's the only one that can help or calls what he's doing a hostage game.
Making it more than likely he's referring to the audience and the voices he heard discussing his case or something from his real life given the quotes around the phrase. This is more than likely something Shidou has said in reality or had said to him. I lean more towards the first interpretation viewing these put in quotations lyrics as direct snippets of quotes from statements the prisoners have said but I'm not that committed either way.
The point is it highlights that he's not just referring to Es here,
"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."
He's instead speaking past Es and directly pleading to the audience or voters. Which is the same thing Kotoko does here-
"So, make yourselves my reason. Just choose the only choice, GUILTY. Say that sympathy is useless. Hate evil as the evil that it is. Don’t you dare stop now. I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it. Give me the next target “UNDER”."
Notably not stating that she became our fang before that but leading into that again. These lyrics (along with the prisoner 011 line in Kotoko's case) recontextualizes the entire song as a direct plea to the audience with allusions of concern towards Es. Mostly merging the two and going if you're on good terms with me I'll be on good terms with all you and your proxy if not things could get messy.
This showcases that they all see no difference between the audience, Es, and Milgram like stated before.
The ones who are more direct while referring to the audience are Yuno, Futa, Mu, Kazui, and Amane. Instead referring to multiple parties through their songs or one.
"I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in."
Yuno mentions two others before stating she let "you all" referring to the audience in.
"Don’t get cocky, you in that cypher."- "Tolerate, impress those spectators."- "This prison hosts ears and lethal eyes, I’m sick of it. You and you, throwing around rules for fun, hoisting up morality and feeling good. Should I succumb, make your wish come true? Full of yourselves, are you?"
Futa seperates the prison host from the audience.
"So, it’s wrong? Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?"
It's a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is. "It's personal?" Yeah. That's right. "That's strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a warden you did have some things you dislike, but..." ... "Isn't it unusual to openly reavel a personal dislike as a personal dislike?" You're splitting hairs. "Seems like you really disliked my crime... I get it! Maybe it's because you're so young... Which is to say... ..." Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It's disgusting. "..." ... [Es punches him]
Honestly warranted he is making fun of Es for the same reasons Jackalope did in Es' voice drama for being a bit green behind the ears. Which is never fun. So, of course after that the first thing Es does is do the same thing to Amane in her interrogation after this.
... Now I feel better. "-Ow! What are yoou doing all of a sudden..?!" It was an instinctive reaction. Don't take it personally. "Would you stop just punching me in the face without any hesitation? ...huh Anyways... That's how it is, huh? That's how it is...?"
This is to highlight that aKzui does take note of Es' personal feelings and takes a moment to mentally compare them to what he's been hearing from the voices over the course trial one. Really honing in on the fact that Es says them disliking Kazui's crime is a personal thing. Meaning that Kazui knows full and well that Es' personal opinion does not matter when it comes to the verdict and has concluded as such.
Something made even more clear by his second trial song opening with him telling Es to just go shove it. Fuck off get that nonsense out of here. Kazui literally forgoes Es' statements on his actions from his second voice drama at the jump of cat like oh well the guard said it was wrong but fuck that- Innocent is the right answer. It's the conclusion you all came to the first time so.
Double down. Hence the-
"Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade. Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade."
This is the only allusion to Es in Cat. Because Es has already said they personally dislike Kazui's crime or people who act based on their sexual desires he no longer has an interest in convincing Es his behavior was okay. Plus he's not even really concerned by what the audience themselves have assumed or figured out. Which is why he's as comfortable singing cat as he is.
Then Amane's is rather straight forward as well. Considering her song starts with direct recognition of the audience and spectators going-
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! It’s the beginning of a most wonderful day! However, there are blasphemers and silent by-standers, who would have it otherwise. We must not give into them, they are the ones that should be judged." - "I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed."
These are the only references Amane makes to the audience and Milgram. Literally going those who agree with me you know what to do and those who don't well we can't give into those people now can we!
Then there's Mu,
"I am innocent as everybody desires."- "We are just the same. Don’t you think it’s wonderful to control them with my gentle sting?"
Mu compares how what the audience is doing is no different from what she has done. So of course it only makes sense she'd be Innocent. Then specifically speaks of Es after the one who is also controlling people with their gentle sting. The emotional and psychological abuse Kotoko points out as being just as bad as what she's doing in her voice drama.
Something Es also brings up as a factor in Mu's case during you guessed it her second voice drama. When she says she never really hit anyone herself and Es goes yeah you just had other people do it for them. Just like they did with Kotoko. Es never really used excessive physical violence on the prisoners even though he has hit them.
"I haven't bullied anyone! I'd never do such a mean thing!" ... "I've never once hit anyone or poured water over anyone's head. I wouldn't do something like that!" ... "I'm not lying. I'm not being dishonest! I really haven't done anything!" I see. I'll take note of that.
Later
"Ah- But if you don't forgive me, then Haruka-kun will die. So, I think it'd be best not to do that." ...! So, you've heard about that nonsense, too? "Mhm! Haruka-kun told me. So, I could rest easy according to him. That made me happy... It made me really feel our friendship!" You know about it and you're not trying to stop him? Haruka, that is? "Why would I? Haruka-kun says that's what he wants. So, there's nothing I can do, right?" But you're calling him your friend? "Isn't it exactly because he's, my friend? Isn't friendship about letting your friends do the stuff they want?" ... "Are you planning to tell me, "That's not what friendship is."? Then, what is it? It's about sticking together because it's beneficial for everyone involved, isn't it?" I don't think Haruka is benefitting from that at all. "No way... It's not like you'd know what's good for him." ... You sure are tough to beat. "I really don't get what it is you're trying to say, Warden-san. Haruka-kun is free to decide what he wants, and I'm not doing anything wrong. It's not like I asked him to do that!" I see. So, that's how it is, huh. You don't say anything; just because you're present, the wishes of those around you evolve to benefit you- Oh, so that's it. Like, a born queen. No, it's as if you're influencing your surroundings not with words but with pheromones... Just like a queen bee. "Pheromones...? I'm not sure what you're going on about but I'm not a fan of that lewd-sounding stuff." That's not the nuance i was talking about. "Either way there are prisoners much more deserving of not being forgiven than me. So, I think you should focus your energy on those guys instead. Like, Kotoko-san has been up to no good, for example. Ah, but what she did was approved by you, wasn't it?" ...You're making my blood boil. "Anyway... I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe, too. Ah, actually- Couldn't you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won't run amok, and you won't have to think about all the difficult stuff." ...That is...a very enticing proposal. "Right? Hah, hehehe." Abandoning all thinking... How nice it would be if I could just do that. "...If you ask me, I don't really get why you don't do it..." Because this is the role I'm playing! "But this role was giving to you, wasn't it?" ...! "You didn't end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It's not a dream you've had for a long time or anything, Warden-san? So, there's no need to let it tie you down. Couldn't you just quit?" What are you... "Warden-san- We call you warden, because that's what you are, right? And I wa sassigned the role of prisoner, but that doesn't mean I'm now nothing but a prisoner at heart, too. After all, I'm still me." ...! "Are you okay warder? Are you feelings sick again?" Haah...haeuahh... "That's because you keep thinking too much about difficult things." ...Gyh!... Haah... "Just stop. Being the warden, that is."
Es brings up that Mu is emotionally manipulative. That she hones onto any weakness to exploit in those she dislikes and makes herself look small so those around will feel more inclined to help her. Through her voice drama, like many of the other prisoners, Mu uses the same tactics that got her into Milgram to begin with. From her first voice drama Mu is well aware that Es has issues when it comes to thinking about themselves outside of their job as prison guard. She recognizes it as a trigger which she willfully exploits in an attempt to get her point across better.
Then despite saying what Kotoko did is no concern of hers and since it was approved by the warder it'd be wrong of her to disagree with it earlier in the same voice drama her tone changes a lot near the end.
"Huh? But that has nothing to do with me." What? "The ones who are suffering are the ones who have done bad things right? You know, like, what goes around comes around?" ... "Besides Kotoko-san hurt and was mean to the people who you chose not to forgive, right?" ...Yeah. "Wouldn't it be weird for me to have any thoughts on that, then? After all, I didn't do anything wrong. You forgave me!"
Yet, suddenly when the idea that she might be viewed as in the wrong later comes up Kotoko is running amok and is a prisoner more deserving of not being forgiven than her. Because Mu as she has always done puts targets on other people to avoid being singled out herself. Then to add insult to injury she directly contradicts what she says about friendship and it being letting the people around you do what they want.
By continuing to badger Es into quiting being a guard and stop taking the role so seriously. Because Es taking their job seriously does not benefit Mu. It puts her at risk of being singled out and votes guilty later down the line. So, it's better if they just drop it.
If they don't/can't she has no issues, or qualms making the situation more difficult for them by poking at weak spots until Es-
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If you want to betray from jealousy I’ve told you what’s gonna happen.
What's the point of highlighting all of this? Why include all the others when this is just meant to be about if Mikoto references the audience over the course of trial two. Well to be completely honest this isn't about them. Even though at times this seems to be about the others. They're only being used as examples of how I analyzed the information provided and discerned through my own perspective when the audience was being referred to, how it was being referred to and why.
It is just easiest to explain that method over the course of all the prisoners and build up to Mikoto.
It just so happens that this may stand out more overtly with Mu than any of the other prisoners. Because of how consistent a character she is. Like she states in her voice drama no matter what labels external forces put on her inside in her heart she will always be Mu. She, like all the other prisoners, isn't changing and has no desire to change. Their only desire is to escape punishment and gain social power and influence by any means necessary at times.
This is important with how they refer to the audience and the entities they choose to suck up to. Many of the prisoners have recognized being nice to Es just does not matter long term because they are just a proxy. They don't have much power or influence over how the prisoners are viewed. Sure, it's good to get along with them for images sake during the interrogation but ultimately how well off they are with the guard doesn't heavily impact their verdict.
As long as they aren't outwardly and overtly malicious, they can get away with harassing Es if they want to and Mu's whole thing is making it appear as though she had no malicious intent or at least if she did it was a warranted response to the circumstances. She's just a victim, an underdog biting back. It's not her fault people were mean to her, but she doesn't just have to take it on the chin and wear it. She has a right to protect herself after all she was-
"Having such a hard time." and "Trying so hard." She was at a point where she couldn't take it anymore. Her heart was all dried up and her sorry spells weren't working.
Mikoto is the same way throughout his voice drama. A mix of Mu and Mahiru's behavior. Basically, they're all passive aggressive about it. Dancing around the point instead of tackling it head on. Not really elaborating on what they've heard but more so implying it through their emotional states and responses.
"If you just laugh and pretend, usually things will work out in the end right?"
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X
"I'm pretty good at that! Making things work out to the best of my abilities." Is that so... "Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" You emerged, huh. "Hey. Looks like you haven't received a beating yet, Warden brat." ...! ... "Hah? What, are you scared?" Like you didn't get beaten by Kotoko...! "Heheh... That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep and it's not like i lost there."
Mikoto in his second voice drama similarly to Mahiru and kazui does not willfully give Es or the audience information. Instead questioning Es on what they believe and what they saw.
"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" In precise terms it's called, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Generally speaking it refers to when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created in order to isolate the original personality from the resulting trauma. "Yeah. I... probably come out to ease the stress I experience."
It's important to note that Mikoto (John) is not speaking in past tense here but presently. So, he's not stating I emerged in the past in response to the stress Mikoto was experiencing he's literally saying I'm coing out now to ease the stress he's currently experiencing. Subtly calling to attention that Milgram, the verdict and the audience voices are causing Mikoto stress and he was brought out to handle and relieve Mikoto from that.
Even elaborating after that-
"The fact that I come out for longer just means that I'm constantly under extreme stress."
Again highlighting the negative impact Milgram has had on Mikoto's mental health and wellbeing. Yet also calling to attention that Mikoto (John) doesn't have a clue about what the source of the stress is just that Mikoto must be stressed for him to be here.
Making the moment after this particularly interesting. Them asking about this means that they both recognize that the audience at least knows Mikoto has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Something Mikoto states he's heard from the voices on his birthday as well.
The fact that he's questioning if there's really another "me" on his birthday means he more than likely heard that from the audience. He doesn't really get the chance to broach it in his voice drama or doesn't broach the topic. Yet it is made abundantly clear before that occurs that Mikoto is aware due to the voices he's heard from the audience. So there's that as well.
Stress... Namely, the environment of Milgram, right? "Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing. That's why I'm entrusting me with my heart." I see. "Not like I can blame myself. From my point of view, I'm being blamed for a crime I can't even remember." If that's the truth, then... You're the one who committed the murder? "Yeah, it was me. I killed them off." ... "So, I, Mikoto really didn't do it." Can i ask... Why you killed them? "They annoyed me." Who did you kill? "Just whoever was walking around nearby." ... How many did you kill? "Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."
Just whoever was walking around-
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In this empty ass back alley looking underpass in the dead of fucking night. Okay, Lil' Slugger. I believe you.
I too walk around in the dark of night to secluded spaces with no public foot traffic and a loud passing train that would mask my screams this is true and reasonable. It's something we all have to do we can't control where our homes are located or find other safer alternative night routes at times. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and people like Mikoto are there.
Sometimes you have to walk up to or past a suspicious ominously posted up stranger that definitely doesn't look in any way to be waiting to initiate a hit. That's not something any person would want to avoid in the middle of the night on their walk by all means. I would have seen you like this and went whelp fuck my house is that way... Aw, damn he either gonna kill me or I'm gonna get home but I gotta walk that way. Better start praying and speed walking. I ain't even a religious person but I need something to have me right now.
We already made eye contact. I saw him see me. That was my first mistake. Can't get out of it now. Whelp, I have the perfect song for this. I'm such a fucking disappointment. Oh, this route will be shorter there's not many people on it! We'll get home faster. Now I'm about to die. I would be so pissed to die because this guy was just what fucking waiting to hurt somebody. What the fuck man pick up a contact sport and put the bat down!
Think I was fucking around when I said okay I belive you well ha ha; no. I wasn't I don't believe this is the truth in this instance but I one hundred percent believe this is some city shit. The fucked up thing is what he just said isn't unreasonable like that shit happens there's senseless violence all the time. That doesn't make it better he really went on the mic and said I killed someone because it really was just one of those days, I'm quirky like that. I didn't even know them. Didn't even know their name they were just annoying had those hit me with a bat vibes you know.
I'm sorry this has nothing to do with the question. It's just... Rewatching Mikoto's second voice drama is a trip. One second it's like if you did do that for the reason you stated then you're kind of just objectively the worst person here and continuing to vote you guilty would be better.
He just admitted he just does this shit to relieve his own stress and it doesn't matter who he hits. It's not personal in any way. Does having a hard time and demanding job excuse that? I don't think it does. These were all people to his own quick and flimsy admission had no connection to him. Never wronged him, hell they're strangers whose only crime was walking near him. Plus, he admits to the murders he says he did them. Mostly to cover for Mikoto which I'll go into again later.
I'm mostly highlighting this to go this should not have made him be more favorably viewed. Like people really just ignored he said that shit. Then other seconds it really sounds like listening to your friend lie about the disorder they have blatantly and without restraint to get out of something they simply did not want to do to begin with. To an individual that is woefully underinformed about how the disorder works. Which is me saying it's fucking hilarious. It is absolutely amazing.
As Mikoto (John) goes me fronting longer has allowed me to stabilize which probably isn't good and means Mikoto the prisoner is disappearing. That is not typically how Dissociative Identity Disorder works. I don't know why anyone would want to present it as though it does work the way Mikoto (John) is purporting. He's basically saying that alters are born at random and are immediately violent. This is a a very weird and stereotypical way of discussing and presenting people with DID.
That has led to the demonization and stigmatizing of the disorder. It's not like it can't happen people can have violent alters but usually they're responding to a trigger not just being violent towards uninvolved parties. Just lashing out at anyone while outside of stressful situations.
Plus, alters can go dormant but that doesn't just happen due to someone else fronting. They can also be integrated. Everyone is different so maybe that's just how this works for Mikoto. Though, alters do disappear for a bit that happens as well. So, why is Mikoto (John) acting like Mikoto's gonna die?
It's difficult for me not to question how this was phrased, especially given what others have pulled over the course of trial two. A good deal of trial two has been prisoners going well if you vote me Guilty someone else will disappear/die- So, you should just like find me innocent. It's that easy find me innocent and everything will be fine.
Like these assholes have genuinely forgotten they are in here because someone has already died. They really be out here like I will certainly take a life but it won't be mine. Do as I say not as I do. Violence is bad and we wouldn't want to hurt anyone let's all just get along. Where was this Barney ass logic when you were giving people head-on collisions with bats, knives to people's chest, committing malpractice. Like none of these people have said there's no reason to take a life because they've all fucking done it. Just that there's no reason to take away their lives. At least the people who have brought that sort of thing up.
Isn't that sort of fucked up? That all of trial two a good deal of prisoners threatened the audience with the idea of someone dying as a result of the audiences' actions. Completely ignoring, downplaying, or evading the fact that someone has already died because of their actions. Instead, it's about reducing harm in the present suddenly. Yet they weren't thinking about reducing harm when they did what they did. Then when their victims come up they get real quiet suddenly. Unless it's Shidou or Mahiru who immediately turn it around and make about how the victims deaths are impacting them. How it's making them feel bad.
Even ignoring all of the emotionally questionable things presented here and over the course of trial two. Pushing that to the side and just taking the voice drama by itself. It's riddled with contradictions. For example, this statement
"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?"
Let's again ignore the fact that you were working and taking the fucking train before Milgram which is not only expressly shown in your music video but corroborated by Mikoto's own testimony that directly conflicts with seeing you on a fucking train,
Q.12 How do you travel to work?
Mikoto: Road cycling. It’s one of my hobbies, and it’s good exercise too. The fact I don’t have to worry about making the last train can be both a blessing and a curse.
Meanwhile in clown town where the alibis are shit and keeping a story straight is dead.
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Q.17 Do you smoke?
Mikoto: Only electric. I used to smoke real cigarettes in the past, but since I started my job I’ve stopped.
Like they even change the tote bags they carry so one has the color we fucking have had associated with Mikoto (John) and the other doesn't so the person taking the fucking train is more than like Mikoto (John).
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Not even adding to the fact Mikoto confirms that he's the one who works at night in his fucking first written interrogation through this answer-
Q.06 What do you hate?
Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence
All things that appear or are alluded to in MeMe. Either from the tarot cards or expressly shown like in the picture of him returning home.
Ah, man it'd be a fucking shame if on top of all that there was canonical merch that showed Mikoto vaping after the murder or holding an e-cigarette. Certainly no one has that and the staff wouldn't provide us with something so damning because they like to keep things up to interpretation and it's not meant to be solvable. It's about how we all view it, view it in our hearts through our feelings.
Meanwhile the third anniversary art coming in with a steel chair.
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(Something I brought up way before, along with the idea that the art from the third anniversary is in fact the prisoners after their crimes. Even getting this merch to check more closely. )
Oh, Holmes I'm absolutely stumped at what this could mean. Surely this is still just Mikoto (John) too. It could be no one else. Mikoto is an honest innocent man who couldn't hurt a fly. All he did was dream. Except when that witty bastard plum forgot he still smoked cigarettes occasionally just a few times. Quitting is difficult, yes, even when moving over to the same thing in a different form. It doesn't mean he's a liar.
For another example, here
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This is not Mikoto (John) in MeMe smoking in the tub but still Mikoto. He's an honest but confused man. Who wouldn't know or rightfully remember no longer smoking cigarettes. I'll stop joking it is more reasonable to recognize that they both appear throughout MeMe and Double and this is subtly displayed through their stated habits, clothing, and facial expressions. Sarcasm aside.
Just ignoring the pile of evidence that shows you clearly had a life outside of here too. Along with that again to Mikoto's own admission trial one he was the one more active at night until recently.
Stating with extraordinarily little prompting-
Q.20 Are you more of a morning person or a night person?
Mikoto: I used to be basically nocturnal. Recently though I’ve been falling asleep pretty early.
Ignoring all of that again he's still just fucking lying. Just because alters don't front doesn't mean they don't have a stable internal existence. What the fuck are you on about right now? Like at most I can generously say he meant it was becoming easier for him to front but this was bullshit. This was not the way of phrasing that. Like alters that don't front have personalities and could even have rich lives internally. Like he is on some nonsense. Like he's just testing what he can fucking get away with because he knows Es is stupid and ill informed.
Every day I question how he is getting away with it when the honest answer is people frankly don't care to see it and that's fine.
There's even the fucking fact that Mikoto (John) directly fucking contradicts himself right after stating this.
"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?" ... "If I had stayed a monster maybe that would've been better. ...What?" You've turned out to be much more rational than I expected... I'm surprised. "I'm a university graduate after all."
Alright, Mikoto (John) which the fuck is it? Have you only recently been fronting enough to stabilize leading to you being able to communicate properly now or did you front for all of fucking college? You were at least aware enough of it to consider yourself a college graduate. So, what's the truth? Huh which fucking is it?
"Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."
I am once again asking how you fucking remember college Mikoto (John)?! Yet, were just born back then?
Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room the threekoto trikoto theory. Because some people may want to say if you take into consideration the existence of a third unknown alter than all these inconsistencies can be explained, Gunsli. This is what all those inconsistencies are hinting towards, it's the perfect explanation you're just choosing not to see it.
Yes, I am choosing not to see it that way. Yet that's not only because it doesn't bring me any narrative joy and subtracts from it. It's also because I view that concept as a cheap fix-it solution where a new factor has been shoved into the narrative in order to account for things within it that could be logistically explained by other means. There's also no actual evidence to this being the case. One could rightfully say what about the inconsistencies though.
Those could simply be explained by a fact that Milgram has brought up since the beginning of the series the prisoners can lie. If the prisoners who are under more restrictions than Mikoto (John) still have the freedom to lie why are people assuming Mikoto (John) isn't lying as well? Especially when being faced with an unknown, dangerous situation, in which he's been threatened with the death sentence? Like wouldn't the reasonable response to such an odd situation be to keep your information yours alone. Not willfully give it to an entity exerting power over you?
So, the inconsistencies found here very well could be there to hint at what exactly happened after all the information is examined together. Though, let's be serious for a bit. Let me walk down that bridge with anyone who wants to go there? What's the actual probability that all the information that they gave us-
Including naming the songs,
MeMe and Double.
Along with willfully adding this fucking very overt line,
"Doesn’t matter if you didn’t wish for it, can’t get rid of me now. Just the two of us, relieved, aren’t you? I’ll protect you (us)."
Are all actually statements meant to mislead the audience and both Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are being honest about not remembering the murder and this third more recently born alter is the actual murderer. Because given that statement on the crimes and Mikoto (John)'s admission that yes, he is a college graduate, the lyrics in Double pointing out we made him out to be a scoundrel that would be the most reasonable conclusion to draw if I were to believe this is true with the information we've been given.
Even if that were the case and all of these other things were red herrings. These would all be objectively the worst red herrings in existence. Because that isn't a red herring it's a fucking school of them. Grab a fishing rod and get to it. This is past the point of being considered a red herring and instead would be more aptly described as a series of overt lies.
You know a good red herring is when people can actually figure out it is that and there's evidence in canon alluding to that being the case and what is commonly accepted as truth being disingenuous. I'm not the biggest Steven Universe fan nor do I hate it passionately. I'm more neutral to it. So, let's use it as an example.
-Spoilers for Steven Universe-
In Steven Universe it turns out Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz are the same fucking person. There is art that alludes to this before this reveal. There were speculations and theories of this being the case. What Steven Universe did not do repeatedly at any point was go she's not a diamond we swear this is a normal Rose Quartz, They didn't draw attention to the elephant in the room most people thought fully that she was a quartz and had been lied to for years.
Nobody questioned it. My point is red herrings are seen not heard, not repeated over and over. A red herring by definition is one misleading clue meant to trick the viewer into believing something that is untrue or move them away from the truth. It's not a consistent pattern.
-End Spoilers for Steven Universe-
Then to add more insult to fucking injury why the fuck would Deco*27 say this-
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This isn't a red herring this isn't even within the canon. This is a statement he made independent of the canon. Outside of the that he didn't even have to give a specific number but did anyway. He could have just said what would happen to the Mikoto's now. If they wanted this shit to remain ambiguous. Yet, he still used two unless this translation from the Milgram app is just wrong and it added that. It'd be weird but machine translations have been weirder.
Yet, considering everything I've seen it's truly makes more sense for me to believe Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are both being dishonest for self-preservation reasons than to believe that the entire series has been lying from jump. I just find it more likely that these two who found themselves in such a strange situation, who are vehemently trying to convince the audience/the other prisoners around them that they are honest trustworthy men are actually just fucking lying about a lot of provably false shit. Then as it tends to happen when someone is telling lies off the seat of their fucking pants there are many easily spotted contradictions and direct confirmation of actual truths.
Because the truth tends to be consistent lies aren't unless a person is very skilled at it. Throwing all that to the side. If the three idea brings you joy good I'm not trying stomp that out. I just don't personally want the information I discuss to be associated with that or have any interest in discussiong that interpretation. There are a lot of people who'd have a great time doing that. I am not one of them.
Because I feel using that idea to excuse the fact that the alibi, excuses, other statements Mikoto has given, and the reality of the situation through the songs extracted directly contradict each other in a way that highlights he may no be being honest is not only incredibly convenient for him but somewhat disingenuous. This includes his voice dramas and the birthday interraction before Double premiered. Unsurprisingly.
I'm not looking for an easy fix for those inconsistencies that keep Mikoto looking infalible and like he couldn't hurt a fly. I'm not looking for a something that frames Mikoto as being in the right, a good person, and a victim of circumstance while highlighting an alter as being completely bad and in the wrong always. Because that sort of story is lacking in nuances in my opinion and wouldn't be fun to me.
If that were the case it would make it feel as though the story itself was highlighting Mikoto's character having Dissociative Identity Disorder as the reason for him being a murderer or the only thing that led to this issues occuring. Something that just doesn't feel right with me. It's never like what did Mikoto do and how could he have responded diffierently or managed stress better. Nope it's always an alters fault, it's always the disorders fault. There's no respect for Mikoto's own agency because he's a guy with a disorder, he didn't mean it ,he couldn't help it, that's just how it is.
The impressive thing is how often Milgram as a series pushes back against this interpretation and simplification of dissociative disorders in general. Then the fandom pretty much plays into that trying to tell other there's a definitive way to know if someone has it, how many alters they have, and at what time an alter is out just by vibes and speaking patterns alone. As if Dissociative Identity Disorder doesn't involve a shit ton of masking and trying to appear fine to avoid being singled out by others.
Milgram highlights this through Amane's voice drama. Where Es literally goes because Amane's case doesn't present the same way as Mikoto's and she cannot do the same things as him that solidifies that she herself cannot have a dissociative disorder and is just playing pretend referring to herself as we and god for the fun of it. When really all she is at the end of the day is a kid throwing a tanturm and playing make believe.
Well... It's in vain. So, you might as well listen to me while we're here. "I won't forgive you. I won't forgive you." Prisoners can't attack the warden. This is one of Milgram's core rules, although a certian guy with multiple personalities managed to slip past it. "I won't forgive you... I won't forgive you..." Which means Milgram doesn't dictate who the prisoners are by their body but by their mind. If the mind isn't accounted for than the rule doesn't apply. It bothers me that there's a loophole, but... "I'll kill you...! I'll kill you!" Thanks to this deffective rule we can confrim this; The 'you' holding the scissors right now isn't a god or a concept. It's Amane Momose herself. "...I'll..." So, what you're doing right now really is just a game of pretend. This is stupid.
Then Amane later in her voice drama calls out Es for referring to themselves as we. Saying that Es must just be playing pretend to avoid taking accountability for their actions as well. Es makes the very severe and common mistake of assuming all dissociative disorders present the same way and immediately has their own logic used again them. Leading them to have another crisis of identiy. They're shown to have a serious lack of understanding of themselves and their opinion.
Something that from the beginning of Milgram has been shown to cause him discomfort in multiple voice dramas. Mu's first and second one, Kotoko's first and second one, and Amane's second one.
So, there's a lot of things about Mikoto that imply he not only heard the audience voices but took the reaction receieved into account when deciding on how he proceeded. Other than that I've got a bitrthday to have. Sorry for the long answer and going much more in depth than I needed to.
I also hope none of this was rude. Though i can't really control how I'm interpretted.
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lusees · 3 months
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Rebecca Makkai // orv novel ch. 545
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lusees · 4 months
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I do think there’s a sort of inherent tragedy with Kotoko and with her being the audience’s/Es’ mirror: Es by proxy is still able to maintain their bonds with the prisoners and grow attached to them because of their role as warden, but by acting as Es’ fang, Kotoko has thoroughly destroyed every potential bond she could’ve had with the rest of the prisoners (or at least with most of them).
She’s made herself the “enemy” by placing herself above them and separating herself so they can hate her, yet she’s all alone. She has been for the past year. Haruka only came to her on her birthday to ask for help in his plan.
It just makes looking at the past timeline convos before trial 2 really sad tbh :(
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