luvyou4ever

[luvyou4ever]

Why me?

Wednesday

you call me throughout the day just to check up on me, saying you miss me and how I’m the one for you. I believe you.

Friday

Were talking when I mess up again. I apologize again and again and again, I don’t want to anger you. you’ve grown to be all I know. Apologies aren’t enough for you though? You ignore me for a day and go back to acting as if nothing happened. But there’s clearly a disturbance between us. You tell me we’re fine and that if we we’re to ever break up it’d have to be me doing it. I believe you.

Monday

We’re out with our friends when you become cold, pushing me away acting as if I wasn’t even there to begin with. I let you be because I’ve grown used to this behaviour. Later I ask what’s wrong but before you can answer I apologize as if by uniform.

Tuesday

Still no reply. It’s okay I tell myself, this has happened before. We’ll be back to talking by tomorrow !

Thursday

Nothing

Sunday

I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied to keep my mind off of you.

Ding

My heart drops I don’t even look at my phone. It’s like I could already know what that notification was. But still i try to push those thoughts away because this is normal for us, right? I work up the courage to look at my phone, expecting yet another apology paragraph that says the same excuse i’ve been hearing for the past months.

“I’m breaking up with you” is all i’m able to get through before I might throw up. This can’t be happening I tell myself.

I beg for another chance. Maybe if I stop screwing up and keep my mouth shut you’ll like me better!

Monday

It’s the day after and I’m still in denial. To fall asleep I pretended as if it never happened, as if you still wanted me as you did the day prior. I woke up expecting a good morning text from you telling me how much I mean to you. Nothing

Tuesday

I cant get you out of my head. I don’t know how to act I had accustomed to my whole day revolving around you I don’t even know myself anymore ?

Wednesday

I see you with the girl you told me not to worry about. I see you being happier than you were with me. I stand there doubting myself beginning to hate every aspect of myself meanwhile also picking her apart. She can’t be that nice, she’s not even that pretty. But I know it’s wrong.

Thursday

My friends are telling me that I deserved better in the first place but they didn’t know you like i did. They didn’t know you thought about me every second of the day, they didn’t know you dedicated every love song to me. But now I can’t help to think you do that for her now?

———————————-

It’s almost a year later now, I’m still not over you. I’ve had to change my routine so I don’t see you so inlove with her. I’ve tried to move on but nobody gets me like you did. No matter how hard I try it all comes back to you.

why did you do this to me?