lyfd

[lyfd]

Anne Carson, from Glass, Irony and God

[Text ID: I felt as if the sky was torn off my life.]

[lyfd]

on watching a parent age

i saw somebody say “what if you’re gone and i haven’t become anything yet” and basically that broke me on a random thursday evening

[lyfd]

- 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚑 𝚜.

[lyfd]

fascinated by how liquid a substance grief is. the most primary universal means of expressing it comes in the form of a wetness of the eyes. it's widely accepted that you can attempt to "drown your sorrows", diluting their potency with other fluid substances. it weighs you down like waterlogged clothing. it permeates the landscape of your existence like rain. when i think of grief i don't think of a strong wind buffeting me about, or a hard kick delivered to knock me down, or the sharp pain of a knife to the gut, but of an ocean, pitiless and deep beyond fathom, indifferent and inescapable.

[lyfd]

love elizabeth s.

[lyfd]

Marcel Proust, from a letter featured in The Selected Letters of Marcel Proust

[lyfd]

George Seferis, tr. by Edmund Keeley & Philip Sherrard from, “Memory I.”

[lyfd]

i’ll have to remember you for longer than i knew you, and i don’t think i’ll ever come to terms with that.

[lyfd]

“What are you supposed to do with all the love you have for somebody if that person is no longer there? What happens to all that leftover love? Do you suppress it? Do you ignore it? Are you supposed to give it to someone else?”

— Maggie O’ Farrell, After You’d Gone. (via thelovejournals)

[lyfd]

— unknown (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[lyfd]

I’ve been using the services of an end of life doula who is just an absolutely amazing person, and has helped me incredibly

(Cannot recommend their services enough)

But she stopped contacting me at the start of this year which I took pretty hard as she was a balm for my grief

At first I thought she was busy, then that she forgot about me which stung. I’ve felt very alone in my grief

I understand I’m a client but she genuinely cared

At the end of March she contacted me, advising me she was thinking of me

But that same day a family member let me know they had contacted her earlier that morning for help with someone else which would have prompted her to contact me

My grief feels so isolating

[lyfd]

Had a really good cry in his car

Actually loud, emotive crying

Wailing

[lyfd]

My dad died in front of me

He died in front of me and I couldn't save him

[lyfd]

People have stopped checking in with me

It's been 5 months but I'm still struggling, but no one reaches out

If I do catch up with someone and they ask "how are you?", if I'm honest and say "not great" they always ask "why?"

Why? "Because my dad died"

They always seem surprised at this