House thunderbird| Hufflepuff| Team instinct| taursci| life player|Prospit dreamer| Taurus| Chaotic neutral | bard/rouge| ghost type trainer| Ambivert
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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This applies to bees as well
Funfact about wasps, only females have stingers
Because it’s an ovipositor
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Anime?
I love when fantasy worlds have some nonsensical magical force that prevents technology from working.
Like… how does the magic determine where technology begins? I mean, a gun is just a little house for tiny explosions to live… what part of that process is interrupted by magic? Does gunpowder simply not combust in Magictopia?
What about the wheel? Bifocals? Condoms? Skateboards? Bicycles? Vaccines? Pyramids? Does a flint-knapped knife not count as technology?
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Funfact:
Spiders have two vag*nas
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Meh Nutella

Everybody reblog with your quarantine nickname. I’m malaised poptart
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Intruiging
Since the original post was probably fake
Everyone who reblogs will receive a pokemon based off of their blog in their asks!
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Breakthrough, alignment, money

Put yours in the tags.
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Furbyyyy
Everyone who reblogs this will get an assigned furby kin in their inbox
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I recall seeing something about those actualy being lips that looked like teeth
Your thoughts on Gob faced squid
The Promachoteuthis sulcus, a recently discovered species.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PHOTOSHOP
THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE PHOTOSHOP GODS BE DAMNED
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I want wearing masks to become normalized
Like so normalized that people stop buying medical masking and start buy cloth and gas masks that are supposed to match their clothes and have like 10 of them because it’s a normal part of someone’s wardrobe except for actual doctors
Like so normalized that taking off your masks outside of your house or in a food or medical setting in front of someone would be considered a love confession
Imagine the anime potential
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Funfact about wasps, only females have stingers
Because it’s an ovipositor
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I’m pretty sure zebras technically count as donkeys
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to give me anxiety over zebras. If you succeed, I will donate a randomized amount of money (from $10 to $99) to your patreon. If you fail, you will have to live with the knowledge that you did not make me anxious (and I get some cool new zebra facts that I didn't know before). Do you accept? [Y] [N]
this is what we’re doing now, huh? custom ordered anxiety? you know what fine. fine. let’s talk zebras.
first of all i don’t know why you wouldn’t be anxious about zebras. a zebra will happily kill you. they will bite off your hand and fucking laugh. they are filled to bursting with aggression & spite. i know they usually get a pass bc ‘haha stripey horse so goofy ’ but. this is a species that regularly survives harsh conditions while being hunted by apex predators so. they’ve got a dark side.
you know how dogs are domesticated and wolves aren’t? horses are domesticated. zebras are not. i don’t think it’s biologically or ethically possible to domesticate a zebra in any meaningful way. we’ve tried it, it doesn’t fucking work. this is because zebras are angry violent fucks with horrifyingly strong legs. they will happily break a human jawbone with one single graceful kick. they occasionally murder lions in this manner. yes i know it is provoked and self-defensive. yes, i know they don’t actually eat the lions they kill. no, this does not in any way make me more comfortable with the concept of a stupid fucking striped horse that occasionally kills lions. they also sometimes kick each other to death but anyone who knows anything about zebras will finds utterly unsurprising.
in general, zebras have terrific senses of sight, hearing, smell and taste, which supports my budding theory they can smell fear. also they have night vision. that’s just a fun fact, there’s no reason that should induce anxiety. unless you’re thinking of facing off w/ a zebra at night. which i don’t recommend. bc, you know, angry murder horses.
also zebras don’t have black stripes. the’re black with white stripes. that’s not creepy, it just pisses me off. two more things:
1. i won’t be discussing this in detail but i’ve been developing a theory that zebras fill the same evolutionary niche that clowns & mimes fill in the hominid kingdom. tell me that’s not fucking face paint:
for safety reasons i will not expound on this.
2. there’s a theory zebra stripes use motion dazzle to confuse predators. i get so overwhelmed picturing it. imagine being a predator, crouched on the savanna floor, your prey grazing at the watering hole. all is peaceful, all is calm. you are the most dangerous creature present. so you assume. when all of a sudden our are thrust into a dizzying monochrome swirl of spinning stripes, your heightened senses obscured by a rising cloud of dust and the thundering of angry hooves! you jerk around in panic, but are surrounded! surrounded by the trembling blur!
all this to say, i’m working on a short fic portraying what it might be like to be stampeded by mimes.
anyway next time you think of zebras, imagine their beady little eyes, their strong, strong jaw muscles. imagine approaching a zebra like a fool. imagine sticking your hand out to offer it a sugar cube. now imagine how many fingers you would have left, after that experience. there you go, there’s your zebra-induced anxiety. patreon is here. i have to go finish writing about being swarmed by a mime horde. gaudy OUT
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Vampire cross sans
You are a:
Sans:
// inspired me to make this is @kawaii-freshsans , thank you Uwu //
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At this point I’m pretty sure being genuinely completely straight is actually a Sort of rare occurrence in most non hermaphroditic species( because they don’t count)With the rest of them being gay or bi or ace or what have you, but those few straight individuals also happen to be like extremely horny most of the time, I’m pretty sure there was a study about this in a certain species of bats or something
conservatives really tried to get away with that “being gay is unnatural” bullshittery huh
bruh, 90% of giraffe sex is gay, ostriches are more attracted to humans than other ostriches, tiny frogs make homes in elephant dung, 50% of orangutans have fractured bones from falling off so many damn trees, and most animals can be hypnotized. nature is the most unnatural thing ever and being queer is very run-of-the-mill compared to the nonsense most species get up to. learn to deal, bigot
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The mango pit that’s unopened takes up like most of the mango and it’s worse than avocados
hey ya’ll ever seen the inside of a manga pit
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Please do not allow your child free range of the internet until they are about 16, allow them to access the internet with supervision around age 10-14, and brief them on internet safety beforehand, that said please don’t allow your 11 year old on tumblr
Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.
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Look up featherless owl
a slender fellow
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