lyricreed - Tumblr blog

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reverse dungeon meshi ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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she was just a little silly

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dunmeshi dump heheh

so sorry i should post on here more often.

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If Sherlock Holmes was Isekai'd to a fantasy world he would just deduce the rules of this world and get back to solving crimes. He'll find an elf girl sidekick,name her Watson, and pretend like nothing happened.

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Chil is so completely desensitized to the weird shit that comes out of Laius's mouth

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more good news from tiktok: they’ve started blocking celebrities.

they’re calling it block party 2024. just blocking and ignoring countless celebrities who havent said shit about palestine. influencers, actors, anyone who went to the met gala, whatever, they’re getting blocked. and people keep talking about how cathartic it is, how good it feels, how they never realized they could DO that. there was some kind of subconscious law against blocking famous people, but it’s broken, and people are LOVING it. and it’s WORKING. a social media/digital advertising coordinator was talking about how ad companies are PANICKING, because they can’t accurately target anymore. so many big influencers, including fucking LIZZO started talking about palestine the MOMENT their follower counts started going down. and the best part? no one is forgiving them. lizzo posted a tiktok asking people to donate to palestinian families, and all the comments just said you’re a multimillionaire. put your money where your mouth is. blocked.

i feel like i’m witnessing the downfall of celebrity culture, right here right now. people are waking up.

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Imagine, humans go to space, and the food is just terrible. Bland and terrible. Humans complain about this so much and so often, that a few various hardier species of the galactic alliance decide they absolutely MUST try human food. The rest of the alliance, horrified by this, is like "but you don't understand, they eat poison for fun." The T'xalans, fellow deathworlders, are like "Hell yes sign me up." The first alien to try properly spicy chili has a religious experience as the spice hits their mandibles. Turns out the way spicy food gives us endorphins works on aliens too, only they get more endorphins than we do. A bowl of spicy chili to them is like the endorphin high of getting a tattoo for us. So earth becomes a tourist attraction for adventurous eaters. Some of the humans are like "should we really be letting them do that?" But as long as the aliens sign a safety waver, the spicy culture exchange continues.

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CHILCHUCK TIMS SAYS WORKERS RIGHTS!!

Inspirational words for freelancers, hourly paid workers and salarymen alike

(There will be stickers, watch this space :,,)

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This tweet I saw months ago has not left my mind once since I saw it….

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I accidentally gifted him grass as I was planting it

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Cruel and Malicious Phraseology

Since the JLA ban on profanity in the workplace took effect, some of us have gotten rather inventive in expressing our less positive sentiments. No guesses for which member of the Old Guard had the most insults hurled at them, but... his initials are HJ. There is no context, only hostility.

"I could put an entire box of alphabet pasta through a spin cycle and come up with a better plan than that. Stop trying to be Batman, one is enough."

"Go stick your head inside a black hole, you posh knobhead!"

"Listen here, you overhyped rodent posterior... rocking up like you're the brightest glow stick in the rave negates the very idea of a stealth mission. Adjust your glow to match your intellect, please."

"You got this, huh? Looks like you handled that masterfully. Tell you what there, Mastermind... let me know if you need help finding your teeth after that glorious victory."

"Plans A, B, AND C all tanked? Over to you, Glowworm, you usually head straight to Plan D for "dumb crap" anyway."

"Quick question, do you even Metal Gear?"

"Oh, what in the unholy name of Ymir's jockstrap did we walk into this time?"

"Do... do the Big Bosses not realize pockets are a thing? Like, where am I supposed to keep my wallet, or anything, really? Is the Marquis de Sade the staff tailor, because wearing this is gonna drive me mad."

"You and I have been friends for a while, but... when you say things like that I kinda want to stab you in the eye with an explosive arrow."

"I get now why you prefer being underwater. Less dumb. Much less screaming. Speaking of... I bet you know some epic dive spots. They'll be at this for hours, we're not needed here. If the Boss asks, you're teaching me marine ecology in the wild."

"Huh. Here I thought Joker held the title for "Most Punchable Face on Earth", yet here's the new heavyweight contender, ready to throw down for the belt."

"Go boil your head in some more of that cheap weak sister beer!"

"Why don't you go hug a claymore mine already?"

"Eat my boots!"

"No, ma'am, I'm not ready for that jelly, I prefer cream cheese on my bagel anyway. You're... not talking about food, are you? Oh, monkey bread."

"Repeat after me: Pants. Are. Not. Optional!"

"I'd rather drown than EVER go clown. I might not have taste, but I have standards."

"Oh, by Artemis' sandals what did you do this time?"

"Yanno, you and a certain dirty old man thunder God have the same issue: too focused on the ladies to do your job. Eyes in the head, you ain't her type. Trust me."

"IN THE NAME OF SIGYN'S GIRDLE WILL YOU STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT! The Boss can get away with it, as he was trained in silent infiltration and is not a creepy drunken sorry excuse for a washout. Either knock on the door like a normal human, or run the risk of having to sing "I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" to even enter the men's locker room."

"You died? I see your brain sure stayed dead."

"It's a RAID, not a rave. Lose the shiny stuff and glow trim, we're trying the Splinter Cell approach. Also... do you really need the three extra ammo belts? They're thugs, not the blooming Xenomorphs."

"I know over 20 languages, yet cannot explain exactly how much I'd like to beat you with a pufferfish."

"But did you die again? No? So... why so grumpy, Mr. Grouchy von Groucherson?"

"How? How do you claim to be a master shot, yet miss the ginormous glaring weak spot every time? Are you a plant from the Court of Owls? Make it make sense."

"Huh. Sniper scope, but still can't see the obvious. Just ask her already! Aphrodite help me, but you're blind if you can't see she likes you."

"Thanks, but I don't associate with the chronically dumb."

"A date? Let me check my calendar. Sorry, looks like I'm going to be washing my hair for the foreseeable future."

"Would you kindly get your head out of the poor man's rear entrance so he can get some work done?"

"Games teach you problem solving in real time, teamwork, the importance of understanding the mechanics in any situation, how to manage difficult individuals, pattern recognition, and much more. Odin's eyepatch, you must be a pretentious little sod to think you can't learn from gaming. Now quit whining and pick your fighter already. You're holding up the match."

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A creative insult for you to use:

{insert favorite curse here} you and the high horse you rode in on, I pity the poor woman who wasted nine months giving birth to you

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I LOVE creative insults, so here are a few of my favorites 😍

"You sound like a hyena with herpes, shut up"

"You look like a bad case of incest."

"You smell like deer ankles."

"You look like an improper fraction and sound like a raccoon with credit card debt."

"I think I would rather watch a frog give birth to a cat than look at your crooked teeth any longer."

(Works best when they have a receding hairline) "You have a Mr. Berns haircut, you have no say in this."

"You look like you leave fingerprints on oreos"

"You're built like an educated guess."

"I'm not taking shit from a participation trophy husband."

"Your elbows look like you bath in dust."

"You built like you sweat twinkies."

"You smell like cobblestone stairs."

"You look like you snack on pocket lint."

"You're built like a Dr. Seuss character"

"You have the posture of a run-on sentence."

"You look like the before in shampoo commercial."

"You sound like a misspelled word."

"You look like you discovered fire."

"You smell like mystery meat."

Now, please stop using boring insults. I'm tired of hearing the same boring insults every time.

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Falin with Laois hair: Cute pixie cut!

Laios with Falin hair: HEEEEEEYEEEHYEEEHYEHYEH

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with everything else that happened it's easy to forget what an incredible entrance this was

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count dracula? um, okay. 1. now what