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(via)

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Bob: Okay, just close your eyes...

Yelena: Okay.

Yelena: But don’t punch me.

Bob: What?

Yelena: When I was little, my sister would say to me, “Close your eyes, you’ll get a surprise” and then she'd punch me.

Bob: ...I'm not going to punch you.

Yelena: That's what my sister used to say!

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Bob: You’re getting hung up on the wrong details

Void: You’re the one that brought up muscle in the first place

Bob: Now, don’t be turning this back around on me. Stop being a cunt

Void: Excuse me

Bob: ..What’s up?

Void: What’d you just call me?

Bob: I didn’t- Did I say something?

Void: C-word!

Bob: I-I didn’t say anything

Void: C-word!

Bob: You-!

Bob: ..

Bob: We just need to keep walking and burn some calories. Come on!

Inspired by this tiktok audio

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winterguardian + text posts

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[crashing sound]

Yelena: What was that?!

Bob: My shirt fell.

Yelena: It sounded a lot heavier than that!

Bob: ... I was in it.

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Bob: Yelena told me that instead of being sad, I should "go get it, girl!" So I'm going to go get it, girl.

Ava: Get what?

Bob: Unclear. I'll get everything, just to be safe.

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she just tripped and landed on her boss' lap, you have to believe her guys