m00nlit-fl0wers - Tumblr blog

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

its crazy how it didnt hurt when my own father called me a psycho, narassisist, problem of a child but hearing that im exactly like my dad made me rly wanna breakdown

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

npd culture is trying SO hard not to completely devalue ppl ur super close with when they upset you, but literally every time you manage to move past whatever it was that caused the devaluing, they do something else and the cycle starts all over again, and you've made such major efforts in maintaining these relationships but your effort is literally never appreciated and it feels like your kindness and time and patience is being taken for granted when they KNOW that being this way doesn't come easy.

.

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

i fucking hate early mornings.

ive tried so hard to convince myself i dont but i fucking hate them so fucking much

early mornings give me time to regret everything i did or didnt do last night.

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

im pretty sure i have like a 3rd grade level knowledge of grammer but i think i do good enough (im a freshman)

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

if mb doesnt make me kill myself then my parents both forggeting/not caring abt coming to the parade and being an hour late to pick me up that will

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

i finally realized why im so into both documenting myself online (via this blog) and why i enjoy other things like this so much (from people now passed)- i enjoy seeing the last bite of a person before they go. i like to take what is left of them and pick it all apart. seeing what that (objects, quotes, people) may have meant to them, how those things affected them and what it could have meant to their mental.

the part i think i (typically subconsciously) enjoy the most is finding out how their mental state and the signs before they left compare to that of my own. its almost a way for me to find when my own time of departure will arrive.

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

i hate bein so faggoty but like fr id rather b w/ vira n not b able to sleep then b on my own cz like i could js idk

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

i swear to fucking god

when ur fucking daughter says shes gotta move away frm the ledge cz shes gna launch herself off the fucking top of a building u dont js fucking say "okay u do that" n tell her fucking friend to go take care of her cz she "needs mental help" as a joke

TAKE ME TO GET FUCKING MENTAL HELP HOKY FUCKING SHIT

im going to fucking kms not even have to leave a note saying why n how this coulda been prevented n shit cz if he doesnt fucking realize that all ts was warning signs then it rly was the roght decision

cz literally how.

atp that rly does mean they nvr gaf abt me

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

this is the first time ive rly hoped my emotions r js bc im pmsing

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

i need to fucking smoke soon, it may not b what i rly fucking need rn but it would probs keep me frm commiting for at least a bit longer

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

im pretty sure im not js going insane atp.

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

im genuinely going to fucking kill myself if i cant find a way to get out of fucking marching band i fucking hage ghis shit it makes me want to fucking die every fucking time i think of dong this stupid ass shit.

i domt want to fucking do ts

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

being completely alone in the house was the worse best thing that has ever happened to me

cz like

it felt so fucking good n was js fucking perfect idk

but also

now that i know that feeling i rly rly fucking need it again, forever tbh

my parents were literally home for 1 fucking second before i got pissed n decided i cant fucking b around them

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

my parents were literally home for 1 fucking second before i got pissed n decided i cant fucking b around them

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

what in the fucking fuck

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

I WISH I COUKD TAKE SS OF SNAP MSGSSSS

iswear to jesus im gna get diddled by this fuckin plug

[m00nlit-fl0wers]

iswear to jesus im gna get diddled by this fuckin plug