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[m3gandeth]

That is not close to being realistic

[m3gandeth]

There hadn’t been a day where I didn’t think about you

Then this morning I woke up and realized

I haven’t thought about you in a couple days

[m3gandeth]

[m3gandeth]

10/05/2023 1:32am

The truth is, I really miss you, and I really love you. I saw all the things other outside people didn’t see about you. How when you laugh you sometimes do this little butterfly dance thing with your eyes, or the baby voice you make when you know you’re in trouble.

I really loved you, and i still love you and I think I’ll always love you. All my other exes did some horrible stuff to the point where I never ever would love them the way I used to. But with you, I know you’re someone I’d run into twenty years into the future, and it’d be like looking at someone for the first time again. A little part of me knows that one day we’ll run into each other again and it’ll be like nothing happened. The previous years in between us are non existent, and time truly meant nothing, and I could look at you and say “hey bestie” and you’ll smile and say “hey mother fucker”. By then, I’ll have two kids and a husband, I’ll be a therapist and be popular on YouTube teaching about emotions and how important they are to regulate. You’ll be a teacher, you’ll be married with two daughters, and you’re living in Denver. We talk about how happy we are, and how happy we are to see each other so happy. We’ll say, I love you, I’ve missed you. We’ll ask each other if we would’ve been happy if we stayed together. We agree that we would not have been, that we wouldn’t have been able to experience life without leaving one another. Then we’ll say, maybe we’ll run into each other at a nursing home, and we’d only recognize each other because we’ll be tatted up and you’d recognize my poppy on my right arm. You’d ask if we could sleep together sometime, and I’d say only if I could be brospoon. You’d remember. You’d remember when we first said that to each other. “Oh I’ve missed you” you’d say to me as we held hands on the porch looking at the flower garden. “This is the greatest way to spend the rest of my life”

[m3gandeth]

09/16/2023

I have so many good memories from my favorite songs

Gus and John singing Southern Nights when I was sad about the first breakup

What if I just need to think about it

About him, for a minute

Be sad

And move on

That’s what healing is, isn’t it?

Thinking about it

Feeling it

Understanding why we feel it

And learning from it

And moving on

That’s healing

I’m gonna be okay

I loved him with every inch of me

And I can love myself that way too

I already do

I’m doing better

[m3gandeth]

My Car Battery Died Today 08/23/2023

The last time that happened, you were over me for the first time. I could see it in your eyes. The warn out feeling shined through your pupils, while the anger was expressed through your stance. You were cold. You were mad at me because you made a mistake. There was a lot of toxic trates between us, weren’t there? You couldn’t express love to me, and I desperately needed the affirmations. You gave up, and so did I.