machinegunpreacher - Tumblr blog

[machinegunpreacher]

feed me.

[machinegunpreacher]

[machinegunpreacher]

why is lotion so annoying to apply i want to be soft and smooth but this is too much

[machinegunpreacher]

hehe

[machinegunpreacher]

hey don’t do that

[machinegunpreacher]

why did i have a customer that hole punched his credit card’s chip out, because “he didn’t want a chip”, and then didn’t understand why I couldn’t process his transaction

[machinegunpreacher]

[machinegunpreacher]

gf: babe can you stop replying to me with early 2011 memes me: challenge accepted

[machinegunpreacher]

All these years I’ve been looking at the wrong side.

[machinegunpreacher]

[machinegunpreacher]

Why did we ever stop wearing 18th century clothing

[machinegunpreacher]

we should start giving chainsaws to girls

[machinegunpreacher]

Me texting: why cant people just be straight up when they text, I hate these games man :/

Also me texting: 

[machinegunpreacher]

[machinegunpreacher]

RIP joe rogan, slipped and fell into a jar of peanut butter and drowned

[machinegunpreacher]

Shout-out to everyone who got bullied a fuckton in school but tuned out most of it because you didn’t understand social stuff and because sometimes it took WEEKS to even realise, “Oh. They were being mean.”

[machinegunpreacher]