macybcummings

[macybcummings]

Come Back to the Five-and-Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean

I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Which is fair given I didn't know what size the bite was before sticking my metaphorical fork into Cher’s film catalogue. The bowl/plate/fridge is full. Cher has made a lot of movies– around 56 of them.

 Sadly, many of Cher’s early films have fallen through the cracks of streaming platforms and seem to only be available on DVD. This is the case with 1965’s Wild on the Beach. So in lieu of reviewing Cher’s film debut, I’m going to loosely interpret what I think went down during Wild on the Beaches’ 77 minute run time. 

Judging by the title and trailer, Wild on the Beach is 1965’s film equivalent of today’s Too Hot to Handle. I have resisted seeing Too Hot to Handle, and think my life is better for it. But the premise holds: a group of hot singles live in a scenic house and are told not to engage in any sort of intercourse. Only in Wild on the Beach, this sort of flirtation is referred to as “hanky panky” and is STRICTLY hetero. Also, in order to avoid any “hanky panky,” the men and women living in the house are separated by a chain dubbed, you guessed it, the iron curtain. Spoiler alert: they cross the iron curtain and get up to hanky panky. Some of this panky is musical! 

Now I never actually saw Cher’s performance. But Sonny comes out with her, and if it's anything like the clips in the trailer, the kids bounce around and get hanky. Anyways, this movie seems super corny and heteronormative at best, and at worst probably carries some worrysome ideological implications.

I would like to think that this is the last time I will have to think about Wild on the Beach and what I can only imagine it says about adolescence in the mid 60s, but unfortunately that iron curtain thing is going to stick with me. I’ll link the trailer at the end of this, or hyperlink it like a fucking boss. 

I know I began this post by saying I had bitten off more than I can chew, but I think I simultaneously may have gotten way too invested. Not only have I convinced upwards of 3 people to Netflix Party Cher movies with me– but today, instead of spending another day putzing around my parent’s house “applying” to things, I walked to my high school. Bad idea. Not fun or helpful or warm. But! There’s a record shop across the street from the school called Twist and Shout, where I came across the soundtrack to Silkwood on vinyl. So now I own that. I will keep you posted on the sounds of a nuclear powerpoint in duress. 

Talking about investment, watching Come Back to the Five and Dime Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean was one hell of an investment. I watched with my parents, and really did not think we were going to make it through the first 20 minutes. The attention-span apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and I don't think any of us had a clue what was going on during the first 3rd of the movie. I am so glad we persisted and finished the movie. I really am!

The script for the comedy-drama was written by Ed Grazyak in 1976, and documents the 1975 reunion of a small Texas town’s James Dean fanclub. The play was adapted by Robert Altman in 1983, and I think a good portion of the initial confusion came from Altman’s staging of the adapted play, which remained super theatrical. The narrative never leaves the Five-and-Dime unless it is through flashbacks, all of which also take place in the store.

Over the course of the reunion, the women of the club reveal secrets and commiserate on “the good old days” of the store (where a few of the club members still work). One of the women, Joeanne, is trans and has not visited her hometown in decades. Cher plays Missy, one of the women who remained in the small Texas town and continues to work at the Five and Dime. Together with the other club members, Missy and Joanne discuss gender, personal growth, and romantic relationships in a manner which is uniquely sympathetic for the 1980s, and I’d imagine for the Texas town in which the play is set. 

That is not to say that the film is politically correct by today's standards. It’s not. Consider this a trigger warning for just about all the -isms and -phobics you can think of. As soon as Joanne walked into the store, I waited with bated breath to see how the script would treat her. The experience was at many points uncomfortable, but also strangely rewarding. What remains just as palpable as the women’s misguided interpretations of Joanne’s experiences with gender and love since leaving home is the love the women have for her. The film presents an imperfect sort of allyship in a not so careful way. 

 As with so many films about platonic female relationships directed by men, it’s obvious that it was directed and written by cis men. Cher’s character especially shows this forced, misrepresented femininity. She fills a typecast role (Ironically, this is a similar role to the one Chirstina Agulera plays in Burlesque). That is, the hot girl who–even though she has big dreams–never left her small town life to follow her passions. Missy’s (Cher) principal revelation is that she has had breast reconstruction surgery after surviving breast cancer. But the revelation is heavy on the breast, light on the cancer. 

All in all, I’m glad I watched this. I wouldn’t go so far as to recommend it, unless you are interested in the traps of 1950s nostalgia or how the media portrayed transness in the 80s. In which case, watch this adaptation!

[macybcummings]

Welcome!

Hello! And welcome to the idea for a blog my sick, bored, twenty year old head conjured up a few minutes ago. I have not given it any thought beyond the poll I just tweeted (it was never about your responses) and my relentless inner dialogue which has whispered “you should really start a blog” since 2011. What’s changed since then? Why do I think this time is going to be different? 

First off, everything has changed. I can no longer engage in discourse on online forums geared towards preteens. I own a laptop. We’re living through a pandemic. I am six feet tall and have had pink hair on three separate occasions. Second, I have no reason to believe this won't also flop like the countless other occasions I’ve tried to start a blog or produce any writing outside of an academic setting. But to be fair, I’ve already written 200 words so I think it's going to be great. Also, from a career perspective I really need this. I don’t think I can spend much more time saying I want to write without actually writing.

So here’s the deal. I famously cannot watch any movie past the 20 minute mark– not horror movies, not action movies, never rom-coms. There is just always something better to do; like read the first 100 pages of a book, or listen to the first 90 seconds of a song. 

There is one exception: Burlesque. I fucking love Burlesque. I love musicals, I love Christina Agulara, I love women, I love seeing people who own real estate in L.A. get scammed, I like boys who wear eyeliner, and most importantly I love Cher. Her 1979 album “Prisoner” single-handedly got me through September. I know mirror image is going to be in my spotify wrapped this year. In all honesty, Cher has taught me a lot about self love and helped me cultivate a more honest relationship with myself. Good stuff. 

Cher also makes me want to challenge myself. So I’ve decided to dedicate this blog to her. More specifically, to reviewing every movie she has starred in, all 56 of them, starting with 1965’s Wild on the Beach.