maddgyu

[maddgyu]

BITTERSWEET ‧｡| choi soobin

ᯓ ex!soobin x reader

ᯓ genre: angst

ᯓ warnings: swear words, toxic ex(?), and kissing(no smut)

ᯓ note from author: ENJOY and don't take this story seriously. this is my first-ever story, so i hope you'll like it

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢

7:35

Watching the snow pour softly outside, you sipped your hot coffee, completely relaxed. the smell of coffee made the atmosphere comforting, added by the soft jazz playing through the speakers. you turned your attention to the people around you and saw couples nearby enjoying each other's company. after finishing your coffee, you packed up your things and left the cafe. as you walked home through the quiet snow, the yellow glow of the streetlamps cast a warm light on the scene. you loved how peaceful it was. this feeling made you think about soobin - it has been a year since you broke up. he seemed to have disappeared completely from your life after the breakup.

While still lost in thought, you barely noticed that you've made it to your house already. you stepped inside, went through your routine, and were just about to get into bed when your phone rang.

It was soobin.

you stared at your phone for a second, thinking wether you should answer it or not. in the end, you decided to pick up the call. " hello? " you said, trying to hide the nervousness from your voice.

There was a brief pause on the other end, until soobin's familiar voice broke the silence. " Y/N?, i know it's been a while, i need to tell you something "

You stood there in silence, not knowing what to do. " Y/N? " soobin said softly, breaking the silence. you finally managed to reply, " yeah, what's up? "

He hesitated for a moment before asking,

" i know it's late, but could we meet up if you're not busy? i just need to talk and explain some stuff. "

After taking a deep breath, you decided to agree, as curiousity got the best out of you. after a few more moments of discussion, soobin confirmed he would head over to your place.

40 minutes has passed and you're sitted cross-legged on your couch, scrolling through your phone while waiting for soobin. the house was in complete silence until a soft knock coming from the front door was heard. you got up from the couch, making your way to the door. as you opened the door, soobin stood there. he was wearing a black scarf, and a dark blue sweater.

" hi, " he said in a soft voice, his voice gave you the chills. his breath was visible in the cold air.

You stepped aside to let him in, trying to keep your face straight, trying to ignore the awkwardness between you. you led him to the living room, where you both sat down on the couch, sitted beside each other. the awkwardness and silence was heavy.

Soobin faced you, taking a deep breath before breaking the awkward silence.

" so, it's been a while. " turning your head to face him, you gave him a slight nod. He turned his gaze away after meeting your eyes, scanning the room, fidgeting his hands.

" i should get you a hot drink. how's hot chocolate? " you asked, standing up from the couch. he looked at you for a second then gave you a slight smile. " oh, hot choco's fine. thank you "

You smiled at him back before making your way to the kitchen. a few minutes later, you came back from the kitchen holding two mugs, as the rich aroma of cocoa warms the room. you handed the hot chocolate to soobin, gratefuly accepting it with a smile as you sat down.

" how are you? " he asks, before taking a sip from his hot chocolate.

" not much has changed. What about you? "

" i'm doing good. i just came from a fresh breakup. "

hundreds of question start to fill up your mind. you gave him a confused look then looked at him for a second, completely shocked on what he just said.

" it just didn't work out. that's why i came here. i wanted some closure and i needed to talk to you. i've been thinking about this for quite some time now, and I just realized how much I hurt you. " he added.

" soobin, you're confusing me. you came here just to announce that you just came from a recent breakup and needed to talk to me? " you said firmly

" it's not just that, y/n. " he said in a gentle way, starting to feel a bit nervous about how the conversation might end.

" so what now? what do you want from me?" you said, raising youe voice, unable to hold back your frustration.

He let out a loud sigh before setting his mug down on the coffee table. " i wanted to see you, to explain things, and to apologize. i feel guilty for how i ended things; breaking up with you the day before christmas was fucked up. i made a mistake letting you go. i thought leaving you was the right thing, but it only made me realize how much i miss you."

Your heart ached at his confession, as tears welled up in your eyes. " soobin, it's been hard for me too. but it's not that simple to just pick up where we left off. i had waited for so long to hear these words. you left me without an explanation, and you're here asking for a closure? "

Soobin looked down at his hands before looking back at you. then, he took your hands in his, interwining them. the feeling was comforting and familiar. " i know, but i am willing to do everything if you'll give me the chance. i miss you, i miss us. "

You took a deep breath, starting to feel the pressure. " this is a lot to process, " you let out a soft chuckle as your voice was starting to shake slightly. " i need to heal and find my own path. i can barely even understand myself, i don't know who i am. my main goal after the breakup was to really focus on myself " you knew deep down that you still wanted him, but you had to prioritize yourself first, and that's what pained you. it felt like you were wasting a chance.

He gave you a nod, giving you a reassuring look as his thumb gently rubs the back of your hand. " just take all the time you need. i'm not rushing you. i just wanted you to know how much you mean to me "

Nodding as you tried to wipe you tears away with one hand, soobin's heart ached. he felt guilty for what he did, he never expected that the pain he had caused was far greater than what he had expect. he softly let go of your other hand and reached out to wipe your tears. after wiping your tears, you both sat in silence for a moment, making the atmosphere much more heavy. " i should go now. i'm sorry our conversation ended like this. " soobin gently pats your head before standing up, just like what he do when you were still together.

While walking him to the door, you felt a wavering of sadness. he stepped out into the cold night, then turned around to look at you, both of you hesitated for a moment, exchanging glances. you moved closer to him and leaned in for a kiss. your lips met softly, as you tiptoed to reach him. he caressed your cheeks gently, his touch was warm and soft, making the kiss more passionate. his lips were soft and the kiss was slow and full of mixed emotions. after you pulled away, you fixed soobin's hair, moving his bangs away from his face, as he looks into your eyes deeply. " i love you, soobin. but right now, i really need learn to be alone. " you said in a soft tone, moving your hands away from his hair. he gave you a smile then nodded. " thank you for giving me a chance to explain. "

You watched as he turned around to leave, slowly disappearing into the darkness. as you closed the door, you leaned against it, as tears start to stream down your face. you felt that this was the hardest decision you had ever made, but deep down, you knew it was the right one. for now, focusing on yourself and your own journey is the most important.

[maddgyu]