madmusiclover123501 - Tumblr blog

[madmusiclover123501]

Confusing boys

Weeks have gone by, since the magical night that started it all. But he still hasn't done anything that makes me know it's true. We flirt and flirt, at least I think he's flirting. Why don't boys just say it up front?

I like this guy, and I used to think he like me too. Until recently when I started noticing little things about him. He sits with a table of girls, but my friends think he's just friendly, he's friendly with lots of girls, but my friends say he's different around me, they say he looks at me, but maybe not me but my pretty friend next to me. We talk, but not about anything but school. Friday was a good day.

I'm the type of girl who won't believe a guy likes me until he says it to my face...even then I will still question it. I have never really had a good boyfriend, I'm self conscious about everything and I hate the unknown. I always questions someone and I push people away, I don't mean to but I have this natural wall built around me.

He makes a lot of gestures but is he just a womanizer? He constantly talks with other girls and he's friendly with them...I used to be able to read guys, what happened? I wish he would just flat out say it, if we were gonna be just friends or he felt something more. Ugh life, why can't I get a break? All I've ever wished for was a good boyfriend, good grades, good friends, a happy family, and a happy life. Is that too much?

[madmusiclover123501]

I tried

"I should've listened to you," "My heart feels like it's been stabbed," "why didn't I listen to you?" "Can you forgive me?" My best friend cried into my shoulder after the guy she likes broke her heart. She looked me in the eye waiting for my response. I looked my sad best friend right in the eye and said, "No, I can't," and I walked out the door. For good this time!

No one ever takes my advice, I try and try to help my friends, but do they ever listen to me? Nope, and what do I do? I come crawling back to them whenever they need my help. I am done with that, I am going to stand on my own two feet and fight for me for once. My "best friend" likes this new guy and he is a complete player, does she believe me? Nope because she thinks he is a "good guy and I need to give him a second chance." I'm good thanks, I don't give players and f***boys second chances. I showed her the evidence that he wasn't a good guy, he plays women, gets their nudes, and dumps them like garbage. But she will never believe me because I forgot she has known him for what? Two months? And I've seen what he does and gotten to know his reputation for hmmm, TWO YEARS! She likes to see the best in people, whereas I see the worst. So I don't know maybe he is a good guy, but all I know him as, as well as anyone else who has gone to middle school with him know him as, the player and the jerk, who plays women.

She wants to get involved with that, then fine. I am done trying to be a good best friend. I hate the guy so I have one solution and she isn't going to like it. If she dates him, we can't be friends. My one question is, "Who's it going to be? Me or Him?"

I don't normally do that, I usually get to know the guys and figure out their type, and analyze them, but this guy I have always had a bad feeling and will not...absolutely will not become his friend or give him a chance because he doesn't deserve it. But I refuse to be around him and I can't be there for her when he breaks her heart. This is my one solution and she has to understand that. She said, "I'm not gonna let anything ruin our friendship," this will and she has no clue. I am not going to stand by and wait for him to break her heart and she comes crying to me, and if she chooses him that's her choice, but understand this, I will not be here waiting for you when you come back. I will not be someone's second choice, and if you think he's worth it more than our friendship, then you're not who I thought you were, and you aren't worth my heart and dedication. If you think I'm going to sit here and wait for your attention, then you clearly don't know me and this friendship wasn't meant to be.

You will probably be very angry with me because of this, but I am done waiting for you to understand why I don't like talking about him or why he enrages me. I am done trying to get your attention and be your back-up plan.

I'm done.