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| Good Things Take Time |
mkbaaby // journal blog
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lol don’t look at me for more than 30 seconds thanks
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Seriously look at my body and HATE it because I know the girl that replaced me is skinnier and hotter than I am and like what the fuck is that shit I hate myself for it
I'm a confident fucking girl and this is the most foreign thing to me like, nothing to knock your self-esteem into the ground like comparing yourself to your exes new slut 🙄🙄🙄
I should really go get plastered somewhere, fuck someone new and move the fuck on but ALAS I'm not a hoe. How unfortunate
The thing about being a girl that really fucking sucks is having to compare yourself to girls that replace you in friendships and relationships… like it’s literally second nature to hate yourself because you’re not as funny, or as pretty or as skinny as the people that replace you. Like fuck why is that even a thing? Self-comparison has NEVER been a struggle for me in life until the past couple months and not to vent but like, it’s hitting me so hard🙄
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Being in pain is worth being able to lift 45lbs more than the dumb gym bros next to me so fuck it🖕🏼😇
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She was romantic,
perhaps perverted
Love was pouring
from her eyes
She was too beautiful for her
own good.
She was vivid with
her mouth,
and her body
a powerful thing.
She denied every culture,
and cried holy tears
to God.
She was terrifying.
When I would kiss her
it felt like God
created the world in her mouth.
I did not know
how to touch her.
She was a wet woman
on fire.
I did not know how the
hell to love her.
She was too much
and I hated her for that.
She was too much,
and I loved her for it.
In her presence I would die.
Her Bed Was A Kingdom by Royla Asghar (via poems-of-madness)
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The fact that I ate ice cream today and yesterday and the day before makes me want to dieeee
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This has been my life for a month now, and people wonder why I'm driving myself to fucking insanity
“Times are hard but you’ll get through it, one day at a time, deeps breaths”
Yeah YOU try living with people that basically announce when they’re going to hang out with your ex and his new fucking sex toy THEN LETS TALK
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New bathing suit, feeling skinnier, and rolled gym/tan/laundry today so just call me Snooki. Feeling good today. Happy snow day to me😇
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I'll text you.
I hate myself for believing you. But what else could I have done? I forgot how convincing your smiley voice is. To you, it was a shortcut. A way to get me to stop crying into The phone pressed against your ear. To me? It was a promise. A glimmer of hope Just large enough To keep me afloat throughout the week. And man, I believed you. I've been sad. "But it's okay, he'll text me" "One day at a time" "He's going to text me" "He's going to." Realistically, that's such a fucking scapegoat. It's low for you. But I'm the one who was convinced into your lie, my heart became woven into your words because I trust you. I still do. I hate it. But I trust you. And god I hate myself for it so much because I'm spending the week waiting for a text that'll never come. I fall asleep dreaming about what it'll be like to sit across a table from you. So casual. And all the emotions that'll want to pour out of me like melted butter But I can't do that. What am I going to wear? You know the other day when I saw you, your eyes were much more icy than I remembered. Strikingly blue, but in a cold, closed-off way. They're so fucking beautiful. I'm afraid to look into them again but I want to, I'm excited to. God, I can't wait to see you But see? There I go again. I believe you why the FUCK do I believe you I don't have any text messages coming my way. I have disappointment coming for me, full speed ahead. Text me.
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2017
As I lay here nursing This self-inflicted wound I shut my eyes And fantasize About the way Your lips feel And they way You taste like honey Sweet enough to numb my pain Thick and Sticky enough to Adhere the edges and Heal me.
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15
I wish I hadn't tried To put a band-aid Over a cracked skull. I wish I hadn't Convinced myself that it would work. Because it didn't. And I'm stuck Pulling the sticky residue Out of the strands of my hair That are growing back now. And The band-aid Is crumpled up In a mess of picked-off hairs And sweat And grease And heartbreak. Because just for a while, That band-aid, Did exactly what it needed to do. And it will never work the same For someone else Ever again.
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1.5
And the way Your lips curl up At the sides And they way your Smile is the softest thing I've ever seen
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1
I wish I had Forgotten What your face Feels like When I rub my fingers Along your Jawline
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