magicaledford-reblogs

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So no throuple?

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Curious Tiger Chews on Cardboard Tube in His Outdoor Enclosure

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The Provably Worst Gun for Home Defense

What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door.

Your feet make a loud "thud" as vou take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.

You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.

The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care.

Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You're crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

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Are you ready for Halloween?

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CLASS PHOTOS

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the me that did and said those things

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off demo off demo off demo off demo off demo off demo off demo

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pnf revival challenge day 42: Fire!

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨

YES I REACHED SO HARD WITH THIS PROMPT, GET IT CUZ LIKE FIRING THE INATOR FIRE HA HAHahhahadfdhsdg *hysterical sobbing* anyway candace getting to know because of carl was not on my bingo card #[ ]">

[revival challenege masterpost]

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pnf revival challenge day 33: Breaking The Fourth Wall

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨

This is a funny prompt cuz I feel like keep filling it every other comic fbjdjchsbdhs

[revival challenge masterpost]

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[part 1] | [part 2]

pnf revival challenge day 23: Vanessa!

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨

Don't worry guys, Norm is okay, his sister saved him :)

[revival challenge masterpost]

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unmute for a very serious audio design involving very serious voice acting provided by myself (for candace) and @half-deadmagicperson (for the special guest character no spoiler)

pnf revival challenge day 15: Candace!

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨

It was meant to be a part 2 to this post and I guess it still is but god darn did it escape me, it was fun central over here for like 3 days hsdfgiuhsdfu

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pnf revival challenge day 16: Star Wars!

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨

Hello everyone, may the 4th be with you, I don’t know anything about Star Wars but I’m sure the boys do, so they wrote some self insert fanfic :) and perry joined them too because I haven’t done a post reveal scenario with the boys yet soooooooooo-

Bonus:

(I haven’t rewatched the special in 100 years so I have no idea how probable or improbable it could be for them to have written it, so if something doesn’t check out it’s your job to come up with the dumbest scenario that would make them write that 🫵)

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pnf revival challenge day 13: Stacy!

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨

Stacy girlie forgive me, having to rush your day out of them all felt like a huge crime, I’ll make it up to you, I prommie 😔 anyway ofc I made it a Stacy and Perry coffee hang out, I am who I am ncnjdhhmfm

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pnf revival challenge day 11: Nighttime!

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨

some more post reveal perry and candace because they’re dear to me <3 imagine this happens at night so the prompt is filled, thank you <3

Bonus:

she gives in and gets him a blanket for her bed. He’s only allowed on said blanket and no other part of the bed

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[part 2]

pnf revival challenge day 7: Tropes!

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨

One of my favorite tropes is the reveal close calls 🤷‍♂️

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pnf revival challenge day 4: driver’s license!

Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything!✨

I wanted to add a page where they get pulled over by cops but ironically I spent 10 hours driving myself today and I’m falling asleep at my desk kfbshckm anyway here’s a bonus meme: