magicalplans - Tumblr blog

[magicalplans]

I bet this page doesn’t get shut down and I bet you fucks will never ever control the god damn trades of it either like I could draw you fuckin morons a map and you still don’t shut it fuckin down there is why I quit haxing because you’ll fuckin punish me for doing your job for you like going rogue is a bigger crime than there crimes there is your justice system at work tax money being wasted harassing civilians invading privacy for what to stop terrorism? Hell no! To fucking just aggravate people until they are found clinically insane lol I’m like nothing now it’s hard to even move anymore physically from the abuse I’ve been through like when are you gonna do something like shut down human trafficking? Shut down child porn sites that are literally wide open doors dude I can shut down 10 right now but guess what? You’ll take me to jail and then you’ll open 20 more sites lmao stop fucking with tumblr ffs they’re non nude models boo fuckin hoo like really most of its camera angles, make up, and clothes. Did you realize this place was DARK AS FUCK? Why didn’t you shut this shit OFF lmao you did backpage and Craigslist dirty af when you swatted them so why is this hell hole online lol! You know they were selling fuckin dead bodies on here? Yeah! Still can. Yeah😃 literally can order m203 launchers on here for like 30$ and you wasting time and money tryna pester civilians with bs lol it’s pathetic seriously like I dont care how much $ y’all spend on yachts and hookers and partying but please shut this sick shit down or let me! Bring me to the pentagon let me show you some shit real quick before you kill my ass for being weirdly intelligent lol I’m sick of being picked apart all day every day I’m sick of feeling like I gotta put on a show for you lol if I poop wrong I swear they talk about it for hours and hours lol when the toilets filled with blood though I bet you smile a little every time knowing your that thing doing that to me the stress shoulda killed me a long time ago but I’m starting to lose grip I shouldn’t tell you that huh but fuck it you know that already lol when I stare off for hours thinking about all the people I miss and love and the life I coulda had and how much money and time has been wasted on me it makes my fuckin brain spin to the point I start to lose touch with reality thank god for drugs though or id have totally lost my shit a long time ago! We’re just potting soil proper manure basically. We’re just numbers that generate other numbers lol so they can sell us more bs

[magicalplans]

What is love? Pt 4

like I was fucking shit from the start. I was a rebound from the guy you like ACTUALLY LOVED AND WANTED lmao I’m fr like bitches ain’t shit god bless the dead and fuck every bitch who won’t give up some head lmao!

[magicalplans]

What is love? Pt 3

friend didn’t wanna walk home alone which I can understand totally this neighborhood sucks cops step around dead bodies like the mafucker isn’t even dead on the ground lol but morel of that story is i thought i was giving her some much needed space and freedom girl time and time alone my damn self but I guess she only saw it as her way to escape terrible me.. she used every tiny thing I let her in on in my life to tear me down our last call ever and I swear I wish somehow I could not have had to hear all that from the person I think of more highly then anyone I’ve ever known in my life and now I hate myself totally like I’m seriously the weirdo in every situation I’m just weird and you know what ? I can’t change I’ll never be a person people like I’ll never fit in I’ll never have friends ill never be “normal” so I’ve been slowly killing myself not showering not eating not doing anything ever I can’t sleep right at all now I have neural brain damage I lost my left testical got sepsis which is still trying to kill me as we speak and I just don’t care they say I need a family doctor ASAP at ER I say fuck it idc what’s wrong I’m not a good guy im not any addition to my family im not shit like shit has more importance than me shit gives people jobs cleaning up shit ya know 😃 lol I’m sick of living here I’m sick of having no money not being able to do anything fun cuz I have barely enough money to get high so I can cope with life like nothing is gonna get better she didn’t love me clearly like nobody ever does people just use me as there very last resort like she said wouldn’t even do that lol if I was the last human on earth she says she’d kill herself just to not have to talk to me again or see me again like ill tell you what lol when your chest feels like its caving in every second of every day because you can’t breathe without them thats what love is I never knew it could be so real until it was to damn late like I always would ask her to leave me when we argued but Why? Because I direly needed it to end civilly like of course not though she shows up with him at my house (without cops) and they tried to walk into my house! I would have brutally murdered him and for what because you wanted to hurt me EVEN FUCKIN MORE showing up with him! Why couldn’t your dad bring you? I just woulda brought all your stuff out to him real damn peacefully fr and been like thank you sir afterwards like damn you raised some awesome ass kids period your a fuckin God and I envy tf outta you for doing that shit all alone like I couldn’t probably I don’t know though I was never really given a fair shot at being a dad my kids have always been used as a tool for hurting me and nothing else I prayed for her death for years before I woke up and realized that’s very wrong to prey for and not to mention they need her because I’ve been an alcoholic mess for idk how long lol how’d that happen? She took my little angel fRom me because she was bored of me cheated on me and Would openly leave her evidence out so I’d find it and flip out and beat her it was HIGHLY MANIPULATIVE I couldnt see it then I was a child but now I see she learned my triggers and Used them very carefully to break up with me like why not say your bored and Wanna see other people? Empty box of condoms in your car on the floor? And I was supposed to believe your sister left them lol you would plant shit like that knowing I would snap! Why not like actually fully move in to right ? Nope. Boo hoo I miss my grandma and grandpa I’m gonna go sleep there tonight like WTF? Shit is whack I never loved you I just would say it so I could see my baby girl every day I tolerated you for so damn long I don’t know how I didn’t kill you or myself lol sorry but if I was so damn abusive why not just take me out while I’m sleep? Lol! Coulda saved many many girls a lot of trouble seriously but I now realize lol Ryan, realize, lol, man we coulda been famous af 😭 anyways I realize that YOU are what made me so angry and violent not Tom abusing me and my mom not some chemical imbalance fuck that you treated me

[magicalplans]

What is love? Pt 2

im not sure why but it said I ran outta room on the other post lol weird I’ve seen stories much much longer but, moving on! I never saw her in there again but one time in the hall we passed each other and both did the up and down once over and smiled and kept going but there was apparently a time when I was out smoking and her group was inside behind tinted glass apparently she just sat there staring at me talking about me to her group like hey I gotta have him asap lol weird? Nah that’s just some real shit I don’t go to that place for that at all in fact last time I wouldn’t leave my room until then this girl got discharged cuz I was tryna avoid her fr like she would look at me like I was the stars sun and a free t shirt and bag of chips lol long story short I still.. ended up fuckin her lol actually I fuck every female I meet in there lol next time I’m handing out applications like check yes or no do you like your butthole licked lol cuz you know they all do right?! I wanted to tell my story though because i wanted to remind people like love is still real in this filthy world and when you find it cherish that shit and never get to comfortable because that’s when things will fall apart like I gave her all my trust in the world thought I was doing RIGHT and it backfires on me in life no matter what like I call the police cuz it sounds like my neighbors are murdering each other so what do they do? Cal me wake me back up! To say I need to come out and talk to police lol hell na y’all are tryna put me on a pedistol to be a SNITCH like who cares who called do your damn jobs lol I called you guys but I bet I come out you take my ass to jail huh lmao off topic ig but last time I called I waited on the front porch for em lol smoking a fat ass bowl of chronic hoping they’d let me give them both a cigarette cuz I knew that’s partly why they’re fighting lol in the end they lost there kids THANK YOU JESUS! But still , didn’t sit well with them of course so it still back fired on me lol call the police on the kid you raped say he claimed hes fbi to distort the fact you raped me and you’ve been molesting your own son his whole life lol all I said is your a sicko what’s my total so I can get away from you! You raped and assaulted me and got away with it lol I almost got arrested that night to thank you god I was apparently like there source of envy lol they loved my apartment and all my cool stuff lol I will get so off topic if I keep going but just know and don’t lose hope love is so strong and powerful and when your that high up the fall is so much worse then regular mess ups in life etc like I never wanna love again fuck intimacy it doesn’t feel right having sex now at all i feel so gross during it and after cuz all I can think about is how much NOBODY will ever be so beautiful to me again nobody else in my life here on earth will ever get my love again never will I have sex again and there be any kind of passion period like FUCK kissing all the other way around I don’t know how to even jerk off anymore porn disgust me because in my eyes you should only have sex when you love someone not just because your boyfriend is being a dick because you said y’all are otw then an hour rolls by and suddenly you can’t text back( for an hour ) I call her phone worried so YOU ANSWER IT ALL OUTTA breathe like mad at me already just for calling like “ my phone must of fell behind the bed” dude she was blowing my phone tf up the whole day like wanted to stay on FaceTime lol it makes no damn sense same day making plans looking at apartments she was just telling her friend like she wants to fucking Marry me and her and her dude are falling in love to and are talking bout moving in together mmm hmm sure that’s why they flat out left her ass high and dry, ditched her, went to his house so they do shitty Vicodin’s and smoke meth and totally just forget the fact you just did me dirtier then fuckin fuck like then you have him hmu lol like your bike for her stuff, I knew my bike was gone I should’ve would’ve could’ve walked her and her friend home yeah her

[magicalplans]

What is love?

I walked down the long hall with my group stopping at the security doors to hold it open for everyone so I was at the middle of the line we were all talking about weather or not getting married is a plus or a negative perks and bad ups and downs lol HALF after divorce lol I always would cut the line or just be in the part of it i wanted to be and I always hate being last but first seems needy lmao sorta irrelevant but I was in a fairly decent moor which is rare for me after the 31 years of hell I’ve been through but all of a sudden mid sentence I stopped talking and just zoned out like a deer in headlights and my two buddies looked the direction I was and looked back at me kinda like hey you gonna finish your sentence you okay wtf lol that’s when I knew I had to make some kinda comment about why I’m in shock all of a sudden like i saw a gh..gh…gh..ghosttttt lmao I had to add the scooby doo line lol I’m trying to not cry writing this because i want you the reader to feel what I was feeling kinda lol gull but anyways I said “ That’s mine… “ with a really cocky tone of voice lmao which isn’t really me like I don’t have confidence I don’t act like that ever just I felt something instantly when our eyes locked it happened to her to she was talking to and just stopped deer in headlights stared right back at me with the prettiest fucking smile I’ve ever seen those eyes were like looking at a perfect shot of a beautiful lake with flowers and trees you know what I mean like your happy place except I couldn’t see it in my own holographic memory persay, i have only ever seen something so beautiful that day never in life have I and I never will again I guess but she was standing there talking to her friend still smiling glancing at me off and on I tried my best to not stare at her as i was telling the guys like “ I don’t give a shit if I die in a year I don’t care if I’m poor forever long as I can have her I’ll do anything in this world to make it a better place for her I’ll never WANT or LUST or even so much as look at another women sexually long as I can have that and of course she was fucking stunningly beautiful but it ain’t just that I could sense so much about her and I kinda saw it flashing by in my holographic memory us together as I kept going on jokingly with my buddies like holy shit that’s my other half God be playin to much sometimes putting shit like that in front of me and coaching me like lmao wtf is God on y’all sometimes i cant help but wonder like giraffes my dude wtf how high were you dad? Lmao! Anyways i couldnt stop talking about her all through dinner like hey guys I was sorta joking being a show off but hey I really do like her I swear I just saw my life with her sorta flash by as we walked past her to get our trays I’ve never felt that ever in my life like yeah sure lol we’ve all had crushes and stuff like that or been like obsessed but never was this anything like that it was more like a Disney fairytale because it all went just how I predicted / saw in my video premonition except I didn’t see how I’d ruin it like I do everything good for me but I kept testing her hella and God Damn! Flying colors every damn time like I was really convinced and settled in my mind and heart like haha never do I gotta worry about losing her or doing anything so bad she would wanna leave like this girl fuckin adored me so damn much I caught her constantly just studying me lol staring and smiling watching me paint like I’m the most interesting thing she’s ever come in contact with like I could feel her love all day and every day our arguments ended up quick and full of laughing like we couldn’t even be serious lmao shit was beautiful to me for real just like the way our hands fit together perfectly just like cuddling and kissing lol I hate it when you like a person but they can’t kiss for shit lol tryna eat your face lol y’all know what I mean lol I know you do hahaha but yeah the sex… omfg it wasn’t all about her looks at all it was so much more we would like get lost in each other the world didn’t matter nothing did [ TBC ]