magicman69

[magicman69]

need a ren hana and derek goffard sandwich asap. like yesterday.

[magicman69]

just found out i got like two broken ribs 🥀

fml bruh i miss derek 💔💔

[magicman69]

guess who wrecked their car 💔💔

[magicman69]

Sigh, autism is beating me to death rn. I love btd/tpof. It’s all I think about. I wake up, play the game, and when I go to sleep? I don’t sleep, I read fanfiction all night. I ❤️ being unemployed. (Not rlly, I need a job for merch)

[magicman69]

eeeeek he would NOT be safe around me. I’d be like one of those 30 year old married dudes who hits on like the 19 year old employee the whole time. My paycheck would in fact be going to him ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Derek working at Hooters lol

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNbrOUKyzoz/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

I don't know, enjoy? efhwkejhwfk

@horriblengrossstories thank birdie for this monstrosity

[magicman69]

might write a fic with college derek and mutt.

the plot?? evil ass situationship from hell that is literally one sided.

what do we think??

[magicman69]

Imo, Derek is half native on his mommy’s side but since he doesn’t know shit about her, he just denies being half poc. He insists he’s fully white and just has a tan but honestly, is anyone really buying that?

[magicman69]

Derek is the kind of guy to genuinely crash out and tweak over any minor inconvenience. Bro is a D1 crash out and i respect him for that ❤️‍🩹

(not rlly but hes derek and bc i love him, he can get away with anything. sigh. i miss my man)

[magicman69]

hi guys i made a derek playlist that im literally always adding to. I love him and im gonna touch him. plz listen 😛

[magicman69]

this song is very derek in ways i cant explain. it just gives his vibe.

[magicman69]

RIP Derek Goffard, You would’ve loved BrooklynBloodPop (yes he’s dead)

[magicman69]

Derek is the type of guy to care very deeply about the way he looks and will internally tweak out if someone makes a negative comment about his appearance. All his d*d’s fault btw.

- Has a 12 step skincare routine to make sure his skin stays flawless, especially as he ages because he would rather die than get any procedures done.

- Gets his roots done every 2-3 weeks. Him being blonde is more of something pushed onto him by his dad than something he decided on his own but despite that, he doesn’t want his roots to show because someone in a magazine had called it “tacky” which sent him into a minor spiral.

- Eats healthy and goes to the gym almost obsessively, making sure he stays a certain weight and maintains a specific physique. There will be times when he gets a little lazy with the whole “eating healthy and going to the gym” shit and will gain some weight back, causing a little bit of chub, genuinely making him sick.

He wants to be better than everyone. Wants to be the pinnacle of masculinity. He fronts that he’s better than Matt in every aspect, but deep down he doesn’t feel that to the full extent and wants to be better than Matt. Being smaller and scrawnier than him takes a huge toll and fucks with his ego big time, though he’ll never admit it.

[magicman69]

guys guys hear me out. Secretary movie au but with Derek and Mutt 😛😛

idk if it would rlly work tho cz this is a sweet movie and derek is an evil douchebag. its okay tho, he’s allowed to be

[magicman69]

hi guys so thats acc me believe it or not

Pets are so needy. Wouldn’t recommend getting one.

[magicman69]

licking my screen 👅👅❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Vacation was so ass this year. The overall experience was bad + I got a shitty tan around the pants line. I would rather have stayed home with my dog than gone anywhere if I knew it was gonna be that bad.

[magicman69]

god forbid i ever get my paws on derek. he is NOT safe from me

[magicman69]

dhmu he looks so cutie in this ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 like yes babe, get pissy because ur desert pals wont call you scorpion and call you by your government instead

(the low quality pic is taking me out)