magicsepternumberfortytwo

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

If i wanna live then I just have to do something that aligns with the state of the internet. Or just learn to make indie games like I'd always wanted to do

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

I wouldn't be fucking surprised if one day I had enough courage to do it

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

I don't wanna continue my education anymore. Its just a waste of time and money at this point. I don't think she supports it anyway, I don't have the drive, I don't have anything to strive for. It's all useless.

My fate is to be in a random ditch somewhere. My fate is to die before I reach my thirties. Im just so burnt out that I don't think pursuing anything is worth my time anymore

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

I hope this weird tumor thing inside me kills me

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

Love how she uses me as an outlet of her fuck ups. Literally doing nothing, and she gets annoyed at me

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

im just gonna use this whenever i think im overpouring too much on my other blogs

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

i need to break somethinig

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

so annoying. as if i dint fuycking do that yesterday shut up. shut up shut up io said shut up already! i dont wanna hear your stupid voice i hate it so much. always undermining my own achievements i hate it so much you make me so miserable

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

i am so mad

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

mood fucking soured beyond relief

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

im so gonna end it. just you wait. when i finally have enough courage and less connections, i will be gone. no one will be hurt and it will be like that i never existed at all. as i shouldve

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

now shes the one with a halved attention. look at her using her phone as she does something else. what a fucking hypocrite.

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

this is why i dont like receiving gifts from her. because i knew she'd use it agaisnt me and i dont like feeling guilt. she's using it to her advantage.

same reason why i dont like asking for help from her. i just dont like being vulnerable in front of her cuz she would fucking use it to her advantage. making me feel bad for it, making it look like i ask for too much when i do not.

i barely ask for anything. and when she tries push me to make me make her buy something, i always fucking say no, i dont need anything but she stills fucking push me to do so anyway!!!!!!

and when i am forced to make a decision, we end being unhappy. i hate it. i hate this so much i just wanna disappear !!!!!

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

my old plan was to be dead at 18. neck myself on my birthday just be poetic and shit. but here we are, a 20, obviously too fucking late and overdue. hence why my goal post is now moved to 30, at least at 25.

if im lucky, i'd get into an accident that actually grants me this wish.

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

and i dont even usually use them all at once!! i am most of the time invested on the game i play to halve my attention into three outlets!!!

when will i be fucking understood in this household?!?!?!

yea, im so gonna die before i even reach my thirties.

dang am i not allowed to have fun??? just bcus you chanced me using three gadgets????? dont act like youre fucking better

im using a laptop to play while i use my phone to listen to a gameplay. and then grabbed my other phone that has the app i use to talk to my friends. it wouldnt be any different to you using your laptop with thre tabs open.

one with your docu open, the other playing music, and then the last being newer bcus you have to send an email to your other mate. fuck this shit man

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

man fuck this. one moment you're in a fucking good mood, and then in just mere fucking minutes you're already looking for a reason to be in a shitty mood in everything i fucking do.

why is it always the flaws you see in me?

[magicsepternumberfortytwo]

dang am i not allowed to have fun??? just bcus you chanced me using three gadgets????? dont act like youre fucking better

im using a laptop to play while i use my phone to listen to a gameplay. and then grabbed my other phone that has the app i use to talk to my friends. it wouldnt be any different to you using your laptop with thre tabs open.

one with your docu open, the other playing music, and then the last being newer bcus you have to send an email to your other mate. fuck this shit man