magnapinna-sp-a

[magnapinna-sp-a]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

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Shen Yuan transmigrates into a powerful ice demon and just goes "Oh neat! Cool clothes and I don't have to worry about dying!" And kicks his feet up to chill. He doesn't recognize his name, so he assumes he's just some terribly irrelevant mob character who happens to be rich and strong and is just glad to run around PIDW without any consequences. He manages to gather that he's some widower with a young son, so he immediately assumes he's in the clear from potentially being an enemy of Binghe's. His son is so quiet, and demons aren't great with giving names, so he doesn't even know what to call the boy at first. It feels odd to ask him what his name is. He just does his best with raising him in a way that he can only hope isn't too noticeably different than the way the original goods did it.

His son is still very quiet, but as he grows, he and Shen Yuan become closer. The little prince is such a sweet boy! He makes Shen Yuan little arts and crafts and leaves them on his desk to find. Anything from flower crowns to vaguely menacing knicknacs made of the bones of small animals. He'd be more scared if his son didn't seem so expectant of praise for the work. A few of them definitely resembled cursed idols, but who was he to judge his little demon son? There aren't any child rearing manuals, but from his own PIDW knowledge, this seemed developmentally on-track for demon kids.

But apparently the original goods wasn't rich and strong without consequence, because he's hounded with political matters before long. They're flooding his office with letters, hounding him for meetings, begging him to manage affairs in his territory. He's coming into contact with all these other powerful demons and has to pretend he's even slightly aware of what they're talking about.

During one of these meetings, some guy mentions the heavenly emperor, and Shen Yuan's like, "oh??? Binghe's here??? Already???" And he's furiously reworking his timeline, but the other demons are like, "who tf is Binghe. We're talking about Tianlang-Jun" and internally he's like, "who tf is Tianlang-Jun". Some poking around later, and he realizes he's REALLY far off from Binghes rise. Man's not even born yet. Honestly it makes him relax even more. He uses the time to get to know Tianlang-Jun a bit, just because he's so curious about Binghe's father! A full true Heavenly Demon! Not as cool as Binghe, who has both heavenly demonic and human cultivation abilities, but still cool! He's also just curious about the kind of man his blorbo's father was.

For some reason, Tianlang-Jun already has a son??? Upon closer inspection, a nephew? The conclusion, of course, is that something must've happened to both of them for them to not even be mentioned in the book. Deeply unfortunate, but not Shen Yuan's problem. Or that's what he would say, but Tianlang-Jun is seemingly very fond of him now. Something about being fellow single dads? He keeps bringing Zhuzhi-Lang around and foisting him onto Shen Yuan for a "play date" with Shen Yuan's son. Zhuzhi-Lang is a good boy, and very quiet, but he's also visibly older than Shen Yuan's son. Like, by a lot. But Shen Yuan is no expert on demonic aging rates, so maybe half snake demons just... look like grown adults? At this point, it's more like Zhuzhi-Lang is babysitting Shen Yuan's son while Tianlang-Jun fucks off somewhere without him. How irresponsible! But Shen Yuan accepts the free labor.

Years pass, his son grows- he also ends up with ice powers, as well as a spatial ability, though if Shen Yuan is correct, that power is likely from a demon tribe slightly south from their territory. It sounds familiar, but there are tons of reused abilities in PIDW. Nothing odd here! Eventually his son starts taking on jobs that Shen Yuan never asked him to do, in an effort to prove himself to Shen Yuan and also help him out. So at some point he takes it upon himself to go to take something from some cultivators.

It's not until his son comes back with a sniveling Shang Qinghua in tow that Shen Yuan realizes he must be very, VERY off the mark on who his character is.

Linguang-Jun was not, in fact, supposed to raise the future Mobei-Jun to be a dutiful son (nephew) who lacked abandonment issues and had a habit of leaving offerings on his uncle's desk like a cat, but since he neither knew who Linguang-Jun was nor the fact that Mobei-Jun was supposed to get dropped in the human world to be hunted for sport as a child, this was exactly the kind of Mobei-Jun that he had. Shang Qinghua, aka the hack author of this goddamn novel, has the audacity to complain to Shen Yuan about how he raised Mobei-Jun too well. When Shang Qinghua groveled and wailed and begged for mercy, Mobei-Jun brought him to his uncle! Because he "had the final say" in whether or not Shang Qinghua could swear fealty to him! What the fuck!

Mobei-Jun accepts Shang Qinghua's fealty at his uncle's behest, and Shen Yuan uses this attachment as a way to keep track of the timeline, including when Su Xiyan will fall pregnant with Tianlang-Jun's baby. In the meantime, Shen Yuan uses his own friendship with Tianlang-Jun as a way to mark his progress as well. He's met her a few times since Tianlang-Jun keeps dropping Zhuzhi-Lang off so they can run off on their little dates, but it's too odd to ask either of them if he's gotten her pregnant yet, so Shen Yuan tries instead to drop hints to nudge Tianlang-Jun in the right direction.

Talking about the joys of fatherhood, how adorable babies are, how unfortunate it is that some species, like humans, have very short windows of their lives in which they can have kids, and can even miscarry... Tianlang-Jun seems to get it- or maybe he's giving the man too much credit, because suddenly Tianlang-Jun is offering Zhuzhi-Lang as a surrogate with the insistence that "as a half-snake, he's guaranteed to give you litters! Even with a few dud eggs, he'll definitely give you a nice batch!" And "the gestational periods are short too, so you can always try again! As a heavenly demon, he's also very hardy! Your kids will be healthy for sure!" Shen Yuan has to firmly and kindly decline, though that seems to oddly disappoint Zhuzhi-Lang, who has been standing off to the side the entire time. Good sir, stand up for yourself! You don't need to do everything your uncle says! Filial piety only goes so far!

Anyway it's not long after that Su Xiyan actually gets pregnant. He expects canon to unfold from there, based on Shang Qinghua's unused old notes- Tianlang-Jun getting put under the mountain, Su Xiyan getting captured and dying after giving birth, Zhuzhi-Lang getting stuck in snake form and trying to free his uncle- all very sad and very necessary for Binghe's rise to power. Except for some reason Su Xiyan is now at Linguang-Jun's doorstep?! With Mobei-Jun?! Son, why do you look so proud of yourself?!

Apparently Mobei-Jun, who continued to pick fights with human cultivators, habitually came across Su Xiyan and her martial siblings. Su Xiyan, recognizing him, always let him off lightly out of consideration for Linguang-Jun. She warned him that as long as none of his attacks were fatal, she would let him go: but that if he killed any of her martial siblings, he would either die at her hands or suffer in the Huan Hua water prison. In return, Mobei-Jun, who was basically a semi-regular figure at the sect now, noticed immediately that she had gone missing when he showed up at the sect one day and it was another older cultivator that crossed blades with him, instead of her. Fast forward, and he's busting her out of captivity, and dragging her to Shen Yuan after she tells him that Tianlang-Jun is in danger. Shen Yuan is gobsmacked. The Old Palace Master hasn't even called on the other sects yet! Su Xiyan was in captivity for less than a day! What the hell, Mobei-Jun?!

But he cannot scold his dear nephew, who is looking at him so expectantly for praise. Instead, he calls on Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang to let them know about Su Xiyan's whereabouts, and then calls on Airplane. This damn hack author deserves the burden of this dilemma too!

Really, it's too late to turn back now, so after shaking Airplane's shoulders aggressively enough, the man finally agrees to pull some strings at his sect. The Old Palace Master's request for aid is turned down, Tianlang-Jun and Su Xiyan are alive, and it's not long before the Old Palace Master unfortunately qi deviates while attempting to cultivate in seclusion. Su Xiyan gives birth safely to a baby boy, and the human and demonic realms are in an uproar when Tianlang-Jun announces their marriage, but there's really very little they can do about it.

On the bright side, the two realms never merge. Unfortunately, Tianlang-Jun and Su Xiyan getting together seemed to have started a bit of a trend, and now Mobei-Jun was asking Linguang-Jun for permission to court Shang Qinghua??? And other cultivators that he met at the wedding have been extending offers and invitations to Linguang-Jun???

Shen Yuan would like to retreat back to the northern mountains and never come back.

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Endless Abyss(kinda)! SY AU

First things first, this is very much inspired by this post by @/rainbowsmagicandshit and @/allpiesforourown, HIGHLY recommend reading that fist just to get a glimpse of where I started off, but do note I have accidentally deviated from the original idea a bit, so uh, oops ig.

This was born out of a mix of different ideas (as usual), so think of this as ‘The AU where SY is a demon, and also the Endless Abyss, and also my excuse to have Binghe possibly make a harem consisting entirely of SY’s’, or, as I like to call it:

As per usual, Shen Yuan has died. It happens to the best of us, and of course, he died while reading the glittering piece of trash that is Proud Immortal Demon Way.But, as he is in the process of getting snatched away by the System, something goes wrong, and the System has to quickly redirect itself and it causes SY to get knocked out of course.

His soul scrambles to find a new host, and it manages to find someone suitable enough. When SY wakes up though, he isn’t greeted by the sight of a roof, or a forest, or anything remotely familiar; instead, the moment he regains consciousness, he’s senses are flooded with as much information as possible. It’s like a computer with too many tabs open, but in this case, you can see all the tabs at the same time and all of them are playing the most obnoxiously loud videos possible, in fact, everything feels so overwhelming even thinking becomes too much.

What SY doesn’t know is that he has transmigrated into the body of a Titan, an almost extinct godly demon race that only existed in the confines of Airplane’s first drafts, and it turns out shoving a human soul into the body of a deity doesn’t bode so well, since what the human mind is able to process doesn’t even come close to what a Titan is able to feel. So because SY can’t get a hold of his own mind, his control of his own body is also not great, and he is completely unaware as his newly acquired body goes on a rampage.

See, SY is currently in a very old version of the Demon Realm, so old in fact, Heavenly Demons still rule over the Realm. It really is quite a shame that SY wasn’t in his right mind at the time, and instead of being able to observe how ancient Heavenly Demons governed demonic society, he instead accidentally set on a path of destruction, with the casualties being anything that had the bad luck of standing in his way. In fact, the destruction got so bad a few of the Heavenly Demons rulers, who notoriously hated each other, settles on a temporary peace agreement and joined forces to stop the mad Titan.

SY, in his frenzied state, didn’t even notice as hundreds of years went by as the Heavenly Demons tried to stop him, and also barely noticed when they finally managed to chain him down and cast him away to be forever banished to the Endless Abyss. His body, once so tall it grazed the clouds, was torn apart, with each of its different parts sealed away in various locations as an attempt to diminish the Titan’s power. It worked, actually, and unbeknownst to the demons, SY slowly began to get his thoughts in order; the event that finally pushed him to coherency was when a few of those Heavenly Demon rulers got greedy, and while sealing away SY’s body parts, attempted to harness his power for themselves, and tried to create legendary weapons out of his flesh and bone.

Most of them failed, a Titan’s power to overwhelming for even a Heavenly Demon to handle, but one of them succeeded, and created a powerful sword made from the Titan’s own heart: Xin Mo. Unfortunately for the creator of Xin Mo, it didn’t take long for them to fall into madness and eventually succumb to Xin Mo’s power, casting themselves away to hold onto the sword forever in the same valley SY’s hands were sealed; but it is as they say, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and while Xin MO’s creator perished, they managed to take enough power away from SY for him to finally be able to think.

It had been a thousand years at this point, and SY’s first coherent thought was that he desperately needed a break, and that in all these years, he hadn’t managed to get a single glimpse into the world of PIDW, and what a waste! Specially since he was now in the most interesting area Airplane had managed to create, he was itching to explore the world. Of course, in his current state he wasn’t exactly able to move (having his limbs cut off certainly didn’t help, but apparently it had been so long since he was imprisoned that his Main Body had started to fuse with the Abyss? Really, more of a slight inconvenience than anything), but he also had become tired of his Titan body with it’s Titan feelings, and so he decided to split his consciousness and create a small army of human sized avatars who were later dubbed his ‘Watchers’, who’s sole purpose was to explore the Endless Abyss and send their findings back to the Main Body (in bite sized, easy to understand thoughts).

It is the first years of his Watchers wandering about that SY finally understood what had happened to his body, and figured out that Xin Mo was a product of his flesh. He figured that since demons tried to use his body for malicious purposes before, with one even succeeding, he decided that one Xin Mo was enough, and came up with a plan: He was going to piece his Titan body back together as a means to prevent anything of the sort happening again, but he was immediately going to seal the Titan body away again, as to not have to deal with it’s overwhelming power.

As the Watchers were sent to locate his body parts again, one of their first findings were the hands, which also meant the resting place of Xin Mo itself. How lucky, he thought! He could just take the hands away and maybe leave one of the Watchers guarding Xin Mo so when Luo Binghe eventually comes to retrieve his sword, SY at least can catch a glimpse of his favorite protagonist! He wasted no time, and while his avatars tried to unseal his hands, one of them went to move Xin Mo, just so it was out of the way, and in doing so the sword retaliated and ended up disintegrating the poor Watcher. What a rude sword, going against its own body.

Fine! If Xin Mo was going to be difficult so be it, and SY formed a new plan: before reuniting his Titan body back together, SY send his Watchers to keep an eye on as much of the Endless Abyss as possible and the moment Luo Binghe fell in, he would turn to hugging the protagonist’s thigh and help him survive the harsh environment as long as Binghe took Xin Mo. Well, it should be no problem, right? Binghe was fated to get the sword one way or another, and SY is sure his involvement will be small insignificant enough that it won’t be much more of a side quest for the future Demon Emperor!

Now, if he were a half human, half Heavenly Demon teenager who just got pushed into hell by his teacher, where would he land….

*

So, as you can see, this is mostly more like SY’s origin story lol, but I’ll probably write Binghe’s first meetings with the Watchers sometime soon (hopefully).In the meantime though, enjoy some more of the bonus sketches I did while figuring out the AU, and of course, if anyone has any questions or thoughts about this, feel free to send them to me!

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I think the last anon meant if Shen Yuan transmigrated to become literally the Endless Abyss not a resident of it. But literally the Endless Abyss itself. Which is actually an interesting thought. To be transmigrated into the land. Into a concept. Into a realm between realms. Into the very thing that brought Luo Binghe the most pain. Not just the person who pushed him there, but the place itself.

Also, I do think Luo Binghe would still fall in love with him. I think that after every hard battle and near death Binghe suffered in the Endless Abyss, Shen Yuan’d make sure that Binghe had some magical plant or safe place to rest. He’d argue with the system that Binghe’s the protagonist, therefore it only makes sense that these things would happen to him, it’s not ooc. I think Binghe would keep noticing how this only happens to him and not the other creatures in the Endless Abyss. I think Binghe would figure out that the Endless Abyss had a spirit to it—a consciousness—like a dryad or a land spirit. And that that spirit was on his side and helping him. I think that Binghe would try to figure out a way to get Shen Yuan to have a physical form like a dryad or other nature spirit could have. I think that Binghe is never going to want to leave the Endless Abyss where he is held and surrounded by his love. I think Shen Yuan would be freaking out trying to figure out why Binghe wasn’t trying to leave. I think he’d lead Binghe to where Xin Mo is and tell him how to use it. I think Binghe would be terrified to use it because “What do you mean it cuts a whole through space?! Does that mean it will cut you?!?! I can’t do that!!” And then destroy Xin Mo so no one will ever cut Shen Yuan with it.

I also think that he reached out with his dream powers to try to connect with Shen Yuan’s consciousness and that’s when he became very sure of it all. I think that they went on dream dates (as Binghe would call them. Shen Yuan would just call it hanging with the protagonist and teaching him important things) before Shen Yuan got a physical form.

Oh my god that would be so cute... imagine binghe finding some ancient demonic tree but its willowy branches don't attack him? They just... run across his head like they're stroking his hair? Provide him with a safe place to rest...

Binghe would be so normal about falling in love with the abyss. He's INSIDE his lover... he'd want to treturn to Shen Qingqiu if only to say "thank you for helping me meet my a-yuan" and grin at his shizuns horrified face.

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In a deal with a fae, you must give up something you hold dear. Whether it be your name, your first born, or something else, it must be held dear. You, gave up your addiction. It worked.

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Get crafty for Oarfish Day! Share your creations by @ ing us and/or tagging #oarfishday and we'll share it!

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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I have to assume that in the fullness of time, at least once, a mouse has used a mushroom as an umbrella.

That’s enough to keep me going.

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Getting kidnapped as a superhero is rather embarrassing, but at least you were certain that your friends would rescue you. Which is why it came as a massive shock to you to see one of your villains bust the door of you cell open and unlock your restraints.

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Shang Qinghua: Who's my precious baby girl!

Mobei-Jun: Me.

Shang Qinghua: Uh, my king, I was talking to our daughter

Mobei-Jun: Oh...

Mobei-Jun, to their daughter: Listen here you little shit, if you think you can come to MY kingdom and steal MY title then you got another thing coming to you!

~~~

Shen Qingqiu: Who's my little white lotus!

Luo Binghe: Me, Shizun!!

Shen Qingqiu: Uh, Binghe, I was referring to our son

Luo Binghe: Oh...

Luo Binghe, placing their son inside a basket on the Luo River: It's time we go our separate ways. It's not you, it's me, but it's mostly you. Stay away from my Shizun

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Constantly thinking about how the spirit eagles showed the audience every part of Immortal Alliance Conference and the shizuns aren't allowed to step in unless it's an emergency so in any au where shen yuan is binghes shixiong, shen jiu would have no choice but to watch in horror as his favourite disciple (shen yuan) is poisoned and then cured via being fucked stupid by the beast he wants to kill so bad (Luo binghe) and all he can do is scream at the other cultivators present to close their eyes

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its just to get through a few early blinds, okay?

now pick up that joker that helps a specific suit.

you don't need discards silly, use them all to get your best hand.

you don't need to think anymore kitten, just buy jupiters, sort by suit, and let mommy take care of you

#forceflush #handshame #jimbofication

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Yoo Joonghyuk and Han Sooyoung both act like your stereotypical man with a cold when they get sick. Pathetic, sad, wobbly little noodles lazing around and leaving trails of snot. All while their partners had to run around wiping drool and tucking in blankets.

It just so happens that this year, they both got sick at the same time.

While the girls were gone on a girls trip.

Now, Kim Dokja had to take care of their sorry asses on his own. He wished he could just have a normal weekend full of reading and sitting on the couch...

"Dokja..." Han Sooyoung whined from the couch. "Joonghyuk's foot is in my faaaace."

He sighed and moved from the kitchen into the living room. Yoo Joonghyuk's foot was indeed in Han Sooyoung's face, but only because the upper half of her body was hanging off the couch and laying on the floor below Yoo Joonghyuk's armchair. Yoo Joonghyuk was making faint grunting and growling noises like an animal as he tried to push her head away from him.

“Lay properly,” Kim Dokja complained, hoisting her body back onto the couch.

Kim Dokja sighed and moved back to the kitchen, stirring his straight-from-the-can soup. He took it off the stove when it looked edible and hot as soup should, but the sound of shuffling footsteps interrupted him. He only just managed to dish out two bowls before large hands were wrestling the pot out of his hands.

“What?” He snapped, trying to turn around, only to be smothered by a massive, muscly body.

“Urgh…” he groaned under the weight.

Arms wrapped around his body like anacondas, then Yoo Joonghyuk dragged him back to the couch.

“S-soup!” He wheezed out from Joonghyuk’s tight grip. The grip got tighter as he squeezed in objection.

“Eat later,” he grumbled, pushing them both onto the chair.

“It’ll be cold!”

Yoo Joonghyuk reclined the chair and released the footrests. He then wrestled Kim Dokja so that he was tucked against him like a body pillow and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Later.”

“Okay…” Kim Dokja mumbled, trapped in a massive bundle of coat and arms for the foreseeable future.

Upon further consideration, perhaps this wasn’t so bad.

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Driving around my town trying to find one single burger just one burger or a hot dog but Unfortunately everythings just rubble and twisted scaffolding upstretched and rotting and theres shit on fire and a big black ass sky

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corruption jordan kennedy you call him in to deal with the termite infestation but he replaces them with ants 

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PARIS WAS NOT NAMED AFTER PARIS HILTON YOU DIPSHIT

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