25 | she/they | Queer | This blog consists of memes n shitposts mostly. I have a ton of sideblogs so you may see me follow/like from here but reblog elsewhere. I occasionally reblog nsfw humour but there's no nudes or anything. I don't tag a lot rn, but if you need me to tag something for you, feel free to shoot me an ask.
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shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me
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Shrek 2, while a cinematic masterpiece, is also an interesting look at queerness and comp het.
Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)
But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.
And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?
And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.
Shrek goes to the Fairy Godmother and oh honey, ogres don't live happily ever after. It's just not done. It hasn't happened in all of fairy tale history. You have to change the both of you to be happy. You have to present as a prince and a princess. It will be better. You'll fit in better that way. You'll be accepted that way.
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He sits on my lap while I spin, he does the little jiggle
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saw some debate over the english title translation of dungeon meshi and I am here to offer you this alternative
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could you imagine being a man, a sis gender man, who is really into sounding other men. It's just the only way for you to get off really. But one day you meet a man that you really like, and you just connect with him on a whole other level. And you guys finally get to the point where not only are you in the bedroom with each other, but you're starting to get more open with each other too. About all the things like. The only issue is, is that this man is transgender. He does not have a penis he has never pursued any sort of bottom surgery. So he still has the whole set, the labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres. And he also has a urethra. Now he's willing to indulge in your special weird little thing. You're sounding. And you guys finally get to the bedroom and you have your little sounding pole or whatever it is they use. But you realize some thing very quickly. Do you know where the clitorises you know where the clitoris is, but where… Is the urethra? Riddle me this Batman
i've tried answering this ask in three different ways and each time it deleted whatever i added. labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres. Every time i try to find a new angle to work on this answer with i read another sentence that makes me wince so hard i forget 3/7ths of the english language. labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres. i literally am trying to think of any kind of response but verbally i keep repeating it. "labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres." it's like a spell. it's fucking addicting. it's the only way i know a human being sent it because that was for fucking sure speech to text happening right there for a single sentence. labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres.
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do it scared do it stupid do it alone etc etc but don’t do it hungry. eat a snack first
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People make a lot of good "thank god I'm not a kid anymore" posts about like school bullies or homework or puberty. But actually my #1 top of the "thank god I'm not a kid anymore" list is the fact that I can leave the event when I want to.
Any event I'm at! I can say "okay well I'm tired I'm going home goodbye." Could not do that shit as a kid. If you're a kid it's like yeah you will sit here at your brother's soccer game in the cold for the next 1.5 hours. You will sit here at your sibling's football practice. You will stay at this BBQ until the whole family is done with the BBQ. You are stuck at the mall until mom finds the pants she needs. You are stuck at the grocery store. No we don't know how long. You are stuck at band practice. It's running late but you're not allowed to leave. You are stuck at the party that the adults said you're leaving soon but they keep talking to these 2 people who showed up late. What the Fuck.
And that shit is on top of having homework.
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