maisiejkeller-blog - Tumblr blog

[maisiejkeller-blog]

Maisie looked up at the man in front of him. He wasn't puny no -- so he could hold his own two during a fight -- he would've if he wasn't in a cast. He wasn't prince charming either. He lacked the blue eyes and the bone structure that came with that character. Teddy wasn't the type of guy that was going to come swooning into her life and saving her or be phased with the life that she lead. After all when she had told him everything he hadn't flinched. Maybe he had processed the information in the comfort of his own setting, but at the raw moment he didn't budge. Maisie was also aware that he wasn't the guy that she would run towards -- he wasn't and yet here she was. At the worst moment ever just wanting to be near him, wanting him to be the one that could possibly make everything calmer -- not better -- but calmer. There was a difference. She didn't want someone to put band aids on things and she didn't want someone to tell her it was ok. She just wanted someone that made her voices lower, someone that let her have some control. "I am sure that is what you tell all of your females." She wasn't blind  she was aware that Teddy was the whole one night fuck kind of male and with his physical appearance he could afford to be like that. Most females -- actually any female's legs would tremble and open for the guy that Teddy represented. The whole bad boy, unattainable, wanna change him for me kinda of male that left every female with any daddy issue wanting more. Luckily for Maisie she had every father and mother issue in the book so she wasn't completely vulnerable to Teddy. She had to thank her previous life for that. Without the heartache that came from both of her parents she would've already fallen as a victim to Teddy a long time ago. She chewed the cereal and let it become softer before swallowing it shaking her head at Teddy's comments but smiling. "If you say so." They were the same, they could lose it all and they would be fine because after all she has been through she knew she was adaptable and Teddy seemed to have that trait as well. "Can you do a one night? Cause if I fuck you tonight we never talk after it. It's a rule. Fuck and leave. I do keep the leave part true." A part of her was joking but the other half was honest. Maisie didn't keep guys around after she did sleep with them. That always lead to shit and with her ex in town the last thing she needed was drama. "I doubt you are in a decent state to even do that. I would be doing all the work." She said after placing the cereal box on the counter and pointing to his crutches and cast.  

"I am sure you are. Think you actually look forward to your fuck ups. Like a part of you gets super excited when you finally get it." She wasn't drunk nor high but she was in a daze of honesty, it was probably because everywhere else she went everyone decided their voice was more important than hers. She leaned back and felt the semi softness of the pillows that felt like logs at times but were comfortable in their own fucked up way. She tilt her head to the side, she hadn't realized how close they were till that moment, his breath that smell like cheap beer and cigarettes blew against her face as he poke and her eyes without even wanting fell onto his lips. There was this undeniable urge of wanting to kiss him, to know what it was like to have their lips clash together but there was also an urge to never find out. It was a contradiction at its finest. Then his head went back towards the wall and that brief moment was done and passed with. Just like any future other ones should go. "You say the sweetest things ever." She said simply back to his answer. The thing was that Maisie never really was one to dig things out of people, if they want to they would tell her and if they didn't they wouldn't -- and that was just how she dealt with things. So if this were the things that Teddy wanted her to have and believe then she wouldn't push him to give her anything else but that, because even though they were not the things that she wanted to hear -- or even the truth -- or maybe they were -- it was enough for her. As he leaned forward over her she rubbed her left eye with her hand shaking her head. It was always going to be a game between them -- she had read in her journal how she had managed to choose kit kat bars over him. Then there i twas, the last thing he said before the silence took over the room. She looked away from him. Maybe she did like being the only one to be honest. At least then she knew what truths were coming out and which ones weren't. She was in control and that was something she needed, that she desperately needed -- or at least she thought she did. Maybe she didn't need that, maybe she needed something else, would not be the first time she was wrong but whatever it was she knew that at the moment -- when Teddy actually said something that meant something she felt the most exposed, as if that had come out of her mouth and not his. She had told him that she needed him at the hospital, she had been honest with him -- Maisie was clearly being an idiot. An idiot that knew better but refused to do anything about it. So even though she wasn't going to get up and leave or cause a scene she was going to do the second best thing, not act on emotions. He didn't do them, Axel was in town, and god she was tired of always being the one to care too much. "I'm going to go with you just being too lazy to tell me to fuck off. I can be that peast that you just can't get rid of. Whatcha say?" her laugh managed to bring her back to ease and once again she felt in control of the situation, "It's easy -- guess that's why." Maybe on also not acting on things she could throw in some lies here and there, "We both hate half the people out there so it's easy to sit here and just talk about nothing. Cause we both know its nothing and don't have to pretend it means anything."

"I’m the gentlest, gentleman that you’ve ever been blessed to have the company of", he slurred some more, scratching at his hair avoiding the thick stitches that held his skin together. Drunk, Teddy became a lot easier to manage — he didn’t care about the stupidity of others and mostly continued to ramble on about random things. Where as sober, he was like a constant raincloud, dampening his surroundings. "At least I’ll have alcohol to keep me warm", he stated almost positively. Teddy knew that sleeping on the streets would be an all time low and as much as he preached the whole ‘I don’t care’ vibe, he truly didn’t want to end up under a bridge — that was Teddy’s hell even though he was practically on the bottom now, there is a thick layer of rocks protecting him from freezing to death. "Whatever — I’ll do something, sell my TV or steal a wallet, it’ll be fine", he shrugged. Teddy had sticky fingers, he rarely took things unless he needed them and most of the time no one ever noticed. On the night of the wedding, Teddy had stuffed his pockets with the contents of two handbags that had been left on a table over in the far side of the room. Of course after the earthquake and his broken leg and skull, the money had an interesting red stain to it making a bar tender actually refuse his cash at one point. Flicking the butt of the cigarette lightly, Teddy inhaled as Maisie spoke, a grin coming to his features as he looked over to her. "Well by all means, hop on", he smirked, gesturing to his crotch as she stuffed her face full of cereal that was certainly passed its use by date. "And what makes you think I won’t remember, hmm?", he questioned, before placing his cigarette between his lips once more. "You’re the one with the memory issues, I might fuck you so hard you forget who you are all over again", it was a vulgar comment, but not a surprising one — Teddy’s drunken attitude moved around more than a prepubescent teenage girl. One word and he could be pissing himself over some disgusting joke, or arguing himself into a street fight — drunk, Teddy was unpredictable, but it masked the fact that sober his path was pretty much set in stone.

Watching as Maisie jumped off the counter, Teddy didn’t move as she sat down beside him unbothered by the lack of space between them. As she responded to his blunt question, Teddy looked down at their legs — her shorter ones just stopping before his ankles, or what he assumed was his ankle thanks to the large cast making one of his limbs look like nothing more than a giant block. His eyes then drifted from their legs to his cigarette that was now back between his fingers, fizzing out as it reached the end of the white. “Well I’m bound to fuck up —…”, he laughed a little, cutting her off momentarily. “Everyone is on their own”, he smirked, turning his head to face her as she sat beside him. “In fact, we’re on our own right now — but we’re just together on our own”, he nudged her shoulder lightly, as if he’d pointed out some major life changing conclusion. Teddy rarely lies, sure he may not openly admit the truth, but lying isn’t something he does often — he could tell Maisie about his past, he could tell her that two nights ago a random chick from one of his favourite bars was sitting half naked where she is now. But if she didn’t expect an answer then Teddy saw no reason in giving her one. Her next statement shut him up, Teddy’s eyes widened and his drunken haze made him lull his head back against the wall his bed pressed against. He knew she’d return his question back to him, so Teddy wasn’t exactly surprised when she did. “I don’t know”, he repeated, mimicking her original tone his eyes trailing the cracks and lines in his roof for a moment. “Guess because I’m not one to fight what someone wants to do — so if you want to be here, then whatever, I don’t care”, he shrugged, looking back at his finished cigarette. “Or maybe its because I’m sexually attracted to you”, he stated, leaning over her slightly to toss the butt of the smoke out the open window. “Or emotionally”, he scoffed, leaning back against the wall his eyes finding the features of her face. “You remind me of someone. Or you don’t, so its easier to have you around who doesn’t directly connect to my past”, his words contradicted themselves, but that was the point — it would take a lot for the male to admit directly to his reasonings behind wanting and doing certain things, not even alcohol could change that. “Maybe I don’t want you here at all, maybe its best you piss off — do us both a favour and spare the future trouble and hit the road”, he laughed, a dry laugh that left him feeling confused. “Or maybe I keep you around because you and I both have put up with a lifetime of unneeded crap, why the fuck can’t we have one good thing even if its for a few seconds before I sink and you drown”, turning away from her, silence brewed. He would never be honest with her like she was with him, sceptical clues and drunken double meanings were as close as Teddy could get to the truth. After a moment he sighed, shaking his head and grabbing his pack of cigarettes and pulling out his second. “I don’t know, just do”, he shrugged, finally responding to her question as if he hadn’t said all that he did.

[maisiejkeller-blog]

So apparently if you have a good sex partner and you go at it for a long time that is better than 3 hours of cardio. 

[maisiejkeller-blog]

[maisiejkeller-blog]

[maisiejkeller-blog]

Yeah -- I told Adrian that they didn't match but he insisted that Hallie and Nina would love it. Kinda let him do whatever he wanted -- but I am glad to see that my fashion and color coordinate skills are not that off.

This place definitely needs a makeover. I don’t know if it’s the couch, or the fact that the drapes don’t match the walls…

[maisiejkeller-blog]

I could do that -- If the Roth industries crumbles and goes into bankrupt cause of all the lawsuits I will make sure to take you on that offer of yours. There we go -- alright what has you so fucking broody?

You could become my personal assistant. I need someone to get me my coffee every hour of every day. Hm, alright. I guess that sounds fun. I could use some popcorn, anyways.

[maisiejkeller-blog]

That would require for me to have a psychology degree -- which I do not have.

And that is something you want to do? To be in the middle of the choas and all that? Sounds very James Bondish if you ask me. Kinda cool but a lot of work. Maybe you would get lucky to not run into a lot of people that lose their memories. That is never fun. So have you always wanted to be a doctor? 

But why would they want one?

Indeed they were.—I don’t mind really, it’s just a word.  And, well, sort of.  ER doctors take care of anything that come into the ER, so chest pains, sprained ankles, etcetera, but trauma surgeons, focus on large, traumatic injuries.  So if I had been a surgeon during the earthquake, I would have been working on all the really bad injuries.

[maisiejkeller-blog]

Well what is your general idea for the book? Maybe some brainstorming can help you out.

A book..or I’m trying to. It’s nothing really of interest just yet… just something which needs fleshing out a little more..

[maisiejkeller-blog]

Maisie chewed down on her lower lip as she gave him a nervous shrug not know if he was laughing with her or at her. Memory loss was funny like that. It didn't really leave her with enough knowledge to make the correct educated guess when it came to these kind of situations, "I see -- I probably am the same way." Not like she could give him a straight answer, she couldn't even remember what her high school courses had been during the time. "Actually you would be surprised." The other thing that she had in her agenda was probably try all the flavors of an ice cream shop and see if that triggered her mind to what flavor she actually did enjoy and which ones she didn't. Placing her hands inside her front pockets she leaned on the back of her heels, "Ah well he can totally help you out. He's a better partner than I. I am sure."

Parker lout out a soft laugh at her suggestion for him to build something with the broken pieces and gave her a nod to answer the question that followed. “Yeah, I did take that class. Passed it even. But I wouldn’t even know what to build out of the broken pieces if I started. It’s easier to just throw them out, too.” He thought for a moment, actually considering building something, but quickly decided not to. Even if he had decided to, he knew he wouldn’t be able to find thee time with the amount of work he had left to do to fix the house. “I wouldn’t want to waste your time. I’m sure you have better things to do than help clean a stranger’s house. A room mate?” He shook his head, “Uh, no. It’s just me, but I do have a dog. Which at times can seem like I do have a room mate.”

[maisiejkeller-blog]

"That I can. I am sure that the doctors are going to see that as a step in the right direction or something. Hey you and I are in the same boat -- i have no idea what is progress and what is not. I mean just a bit but I am sure that every store has a small selection to do with maps -- like gas stations should, do you not think so? Yes -- Ebay -- or Amazon -- whatever those two things are. I just somehow remember them and they just came out but maybe you do know that they are. I am sure you can figure out who is and who isn't sketchy."

“Hey, now you can say that you’ve at least moved up a step! I say that’s a good accomplishment for someone with memory loss, yeah? Everywhere —— I mean, everywhere that I can think of. Literally everywhere might be a bit of an exaggeration but not by much, I can assure you. Online! Yeah! Good idea - I can always just order something real cheap and just hope I don’t get ripped off. Some people on eBay are extremely sketchy.”

[maisiejkeller-blog]

So you and him are official now?

Well, at the time I didn’t and technically I still don’t.— But if there’s one good thing that came out of the earthquake, it was me and Nic. And yes, more delicious then tacos, though Nic with tacos.

[maisiejkeller-blog]

"Decide who I want to be?" She repeated the question not mocking him at all but more like finding it rather amusing. It was like she was tugged between finding who she was or scrapping anything of the person she was. As if there was no middle ground here. "I just don't think I am just going to give up on the life i had -- but i am not going to ruin the present because I can't remember -- it's --: she pushed her hair to her left side sighing in utter defeat, "It's just complicated. -- Ah -- I'm sorry."

Xander hummed as he watched her nervous movement. He could understand why she felt the way she seemed to feel. He wasn’t sure how he would feel if he was in the same situation. “Don’t take it as a bad thing. You get to decide who you want to be.” He smiled a bit as he turned to rub his hand over Ari’s arm. “We mostly talked about her. I guess you could say that I’m a gushing father.”

[maisiejkeller-blog]

That is good -- I am sure your little girl is going to be thankful for that. Though if you have given her rides on that wheel chair she might miss the chair. It's fine, don't worry -- I think everyone can understand a few bumps here or there.

Just a couple more weeks, I’m just grateful it’s not permanent. Yeah, that’s probably true. I still felt bad for bumping into people.

[maisiejkeller-blog]

She sighed looking down, feeling ashamed and pissed off -- maybe a bit of frustration as well. Maisie didn't like nor enjoy feeling like she was letting people down. The worst part was that she didn't know when she was going to get her memories or if she was every going to get them back. What if all her memories were going to stay forever? "Ah -- see I have been staying with a friend -- that was with me -- I have a key but I didn't know where it belonged and so -- I didn't know..." she stuttered biting down on her lip. "Am I a good room mate? Vanilla is disgusting."

"Shit," he said once again. God, this was like Hollie all over again. Well, besides the part about them being in love once or anything. Still, it sucked even more — this girl didn’t even really know who he was. "Did you? That was one of the things we bonded over before becoming roommates. Our hatred of vanilla ice cream." Roman’s eyebrows perked up. "Oh, yeah. We’re roommates, if you didn’t know."

[maisiejkeller-blog]

Could have ran away scared But somewhere out there Foolish behavior seems right

[maisiejkeller-blog]

[maisiejkeller-blog]

Maisie took the surroundings in as she tried to pin point where she was exactly, it wasn't like her to wander off from where she knew. But with everything going on who could blame her? "Touche, but you could probably take the broken pieces and build something new. Did you ever take those wood classes they offered in high school?" She asked as she looked at the broken shelf. Maybe if the earthquake had just broken objects then the healing process would be a lot quicker. Maisie knew how hard it was for some people to accept help -- after all she was the poster child for the person that refused any kind of help no matter how bad she needed it, "The offer stands -- I mean not really doing much and I'm guessing it will be easier with two people versus one." She replied softly not wanting to pressure him or push the matter. "I see -- do you not have a room mate?"

Parker raised his eyes from the shelf on the ground to the person who was standing in front of him. “I don’t think this junk is going to do me any good though. Can’t really put anything on it any more.” he gave her a light shrug. There were a few things in his house that he wouldn’t be using any more since they were broken. He immediately shook his head when she asked if he wanted her help, “No, you don’t need to do that. It’s my mess. I should do it myself. I was just going to let it sit there for a while anyways.” He took a moment to study the female’s features, attempting to figure out if he had met her before or not. Once he decided that he didn’t know her, Parker pointed back into his house and said, “Plus, there’s more stuff in there that will end up in the same place as that, so it’s probably easiest to do it all at once.”