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no home sketches

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some maries i drew last year but forgot to post lol

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group photos ^^

[maizas]

no home and the acceptance of grief and loneliness

one of the things i liked most about the writing and development of the story of no home is how different arcs (or chapters) deal with different types of loss and how the character were able to get in touch with this lonely feeling and accept it in order to finally move on. in this analysis, i would like to comment on three characters: marie, haejoon and eunyung.

(spoilers ahead)

Marie 

in marie's case, the feeling of loss has been there since she was young, when her mother left. in order to try to control the feeling of grief over the sudden loss of a motherly figure, marie begins to try to "take" her place, doing everything she can to take care of the house, her father and her brother, often putting her own desires aside in order to accommodate them.

the lack of her mother and the fear of abandonment make her dedicate herself more and more to being a support for her family and tries at all costs to prove that she is well and happy, afraid of being abandoned again. setting the table to wait for them while her sits alone represents, to me, this waiting that she constantly puts herself in to please everyone around her. marie even puts up with all the physical aggression from her brother and her father's neglect, with a gigantic fear of being the reason for her family to fall apart, following in her mother's footsteps in one way or another.

marie lies to herself that life at home is not that bad and often softens her brother's aggression, but she still does everything she can to have her own freedom. moving to the dormitory is the first big step for her to finally be able to break free from this loneliness and seek comfort in her own interests and well-being. but even so, she is afraid to put into words the reason why she wants to move, only being able to admit it much later in a conversation with her aunt.

marie's loneliness is still seen throughout some chapters, especially when she tries, in a somewhat aggressive way, to save minju from falling into the same situation she found herself in, since she knows what it's like to feel alone and carry such a huge burden at home. however, the more we see her open up to the characters and get more and more involved with the journalism club, we can find in between the lines a new comfort that she feels when she returns home, having finally come to terms with herself and her own person, thus understanding her belonging within the home and in the group of friends.

Eunyung

eunyung is an enigmatic character full of secrets from the beginning, but i really enjoy seeing how his loneliness unfolds throughout the story and how we follow his change side by side with the revelation of his past.

i think it's obvious when i say that eunyung's mourning comes from his family issues, especially his relationship with his father and all the abuse he suffered at his hands. all the times he ran away from home, all the times he tried to find comfort in unreliable friendships or even his way of seeking his own strength in fights with other people reflect his desire to be seen and understood, especially since he can't find this comfort and reassurance at home. in his constant escapes, eunyung is not only looking for an ideal place to hide from his parents, but also for family comfort, for someone to acknowledge how hard he's trying, for a bond to be created with people who will be able to overcome all the loneliness and mourning he feels for the loss of family affection.

the way in which the father is always presented as a shadow reflects a lot on the emptiness he feels every time he returns home or revisits his memories of the past. the father no longer has a human appearance and becomes represented by the fear that eunyung feels and the emptiness he brings into his life. he is not a person, but rather a feeling, a lack, a mourning.

when he finally manages to see his father as a person and understands that he is much smaller and weaker than he remembered, eunyung begins to understand that much of his pain comes exactly from this erasure that he himself had in his parents' lives and they in his. he begins to see his father as someone of flesh and blood only when he, at the same time, begins to find comfort in the dormitory or in the new friendships he has been making throughout the story.

no longer seeing this black mass of fear is not just because eunyung finally got tired of not fighting back or a representation of him finding his own voice, but also thanks to the fact that he finally begins to understand that he does have a place in the world and deserves to start dreaming of a better future. he is no longer alone and understands that he no longer needs the family support that he so desperately needed: now, the blood ties are those that he will build and pursue himself, made up of people who he knows care about him and who he feels reciprocal affection for.

of course, this change is not obvious from the beginning and there is a long way to go between finally seeing his father and finding his freedom. eunyung's trauma is much more deep-rooted than he believes it to be, but finding his home has brought him enough comfort and foundation to accept this grief and understand that, in order to move forward, he does not need this constant memory that is only there to hurt and deceive him. detaching yourself from your parents is not about accepting your loneliness, but rather embracing it and finding a way to live with it until it dissolves into the past.

Haejoon:

i think that when it comes to haejoon, his grief becomes even clearer and more obvious, since his entire arc, from beginning to end, is about him learning to live with the absence of his mother and the grief that never goes away.

it is very difficult to define what grief is exactly and whether or not we are able to “overcome” it. grief is a complex feeling with many layers and different types of understanding, so it is very wrong for anyone to want to define someone else’s pain with their own believes. for me, grief is a feeling that never goes away, you just learn to live with it and come to peace with yourself at a certain point. that said, i believe that this is literally haejoon’s final arc, especially when he “meets” his mother again.

haejoon finds himself alone in the world and has to, for the first time, learn how to live with this loneliness. and this lesson doesn't come only with everyday life and the memories that come and go, but also with your self-discovery, opening up to new friendships and gradually connecting with your family and their secrets. learning to live with grief isn't just about acceptance, but also about knowing how to move forward and find people who help you discover happiness in this new life and this new phase.

the final scene of haejoon saying goodbye to his mother shows the evolution he has undergone. his mother, who was always such a gentle and loving person before, begins to become more aggressive and assertive, trying to trap him with her. i don't believe that this is a new vision that haejoon has of his mother, but rather a way that his inner self has found to make him finally come into direct contact with this loneliness and grief and face them. accepting this new life and this new found happiness is something very difficult for anyone who goes through grief. accepting that you can be happy again even without the person you love in your life is almost like saying goodbye and abandoning all the good memories you had with them. and haejoon is incredibly afraid of forgetting his mother, of losing her, of never being able to see her again. therefore, creating a more persuasive mother in his subconscious forces him to understand that he can enjoy and celebrate this new phase of his life without ever losing the connection with his mother. little by little, he recovers the good times he had with his friends and his new life, and being trapped inside a bubble of sadness no longer makes sense to him. his mother is no longer just a painful memory, but rather the strength that allows him to move forward.

it is very beautiful to see the moment when haejoon says goodbye to his mother and returns to his normal routine, ready to start college. we get to see a much more mature and self-confident boy, who has not only finally accepted all his flaws and qualities, but has also managed to understand that grief and longing are things that never go away, you just find a way to live better with both. honoring his mother means continuing to live as long as he can and being happy in the way he wants. honoring the memories of the mother he loved so much means remembering all her kindness and continuing to share with the people he loves all the affection his mother once shared with him.

thank you for reading 💛

[maizas]

Demo Update

Here at Soulmates Inc we specialize in chance meetings!

As a soul-link, your job is to guide two people entrusted in your care to one another in a fateful meeting, for they are each other's soulmates. Aided by the soul-link powers, you will craft a story that will be told over and over to others, changed and misremembered or kept as faithful as humanly possible. Without your help, they would not find one another.

P.S.: a regular reminder to refrain from referring to yourself or your coworkers as Cupid.

|| LINK to the demo || [119k +30k]

In this update:

plan how to save your career

it's also high time to involve the management (that's always pleasant)

potentially make a life-altering decision

flex your game over texts

reveals and speculations, but do you find the sources trustworthy?

Reblogs are much appreciated! ♥

[maizas]

Hi 👋, My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔

I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $40,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future.

Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶

If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏

Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤️‍🩹

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

please donate if you can

[maizas]

autumn balor 🍂

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smoking is bad

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learning how to skate

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Brain

Rot

You feel me?????

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Its so fun to draw my husband

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I love drawing in my free time 🥲

Sebastian ☕️

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Newlyweds 💕

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Am i the only one who imagined the first meet like this?? *swooon*

[maizas]

Hi!

Stole this from another anon, but how would the ROs react if they were arguing with the mc and accidentally said something that really hurt the mc and the mc just turns around and leaves?

Yes I am in an angst mood, it’s not my fault, the there was only one bed scenario put me there 😭

(Absolutely adore your game by the way, keep up the utterly amazing work!! ❤️)

Oh my goodness you stole it? Your guild would be proud! Thank you so much for your kind words and I'll try to deliver a nice fresh batch of angst, just for you! No because hurtful confrontations are definitely going to happen, I won't include what hurtful thing they say and just focus on the pain!

Merikh:

He knows it's more than cruel, it's foul.

But he says it anyway and braces for your reaction.

Everything in him wants to apologize but he just can't. Instead, while the shreds of decency left in him scream that he didn't he just stands there behind his desk, hands gripping the edge hard enough to make his knuckles turn white. He expects you to quip something equally hurtful at him, maybe even lash out and strike him, he could take either of those. But he wasn't prepared for the look of pure hurt that you gave him.

You look at him for barely a moment before you simply turn your back on him and begin to leave.

"Where—where are you going?" his voice almost cracks with emotion but he steadies it. But you might as well have not heard him because you're already opening the door. "I asked where you're going!"

The door slams behind you and he stands there stunned.

He practically spends the rest of the night rooted in place. Both waiting for you to return and restraining himself from pursuing you, an apology still at the tip of his tongue.

Laverna:

As soon as she said it she quickly covers her mouth, eyes wide in shock. She doesn't know where that came from or even why she said it. Slowly she removes her hands from her mouth and looks at you beseechingly, even grabbing onto your arm.

"I didn't mean that. Not a single word of it! I—really didn't and I am so sorry!"

She feels you pull away and the tears that had already begun to well up in her eyes begin to pour. They obstruct her view of you as you turn and walk out the door and in that moment she wishes that she was blind, or better yet mute.

She roughly wipes her tears with her sleeves and tries to go after you, but you've already vanished. She has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from calling out to you, knowing that doing that could put you in danger.

That night she must have penned a hundred messages to you, begging for your forgiveness, but all ended up in the fire instead of your hands. She watches flames consume them and sobs, because if you truly turned your back on her for this, then those flames might as well be engulfing her future.

Sutek:

He knew that he could hurt you, but he never thought it would be his words that did it. You avoid his eyes as you move to the door, but he still saw that look and he needed to get rid of it.

"Wait." he barely get's it out before he has to move to get between you and the door. You open it and he closes it this time letting out a louder and a bit more desperate, "Wait! Please just— I know that I say the wrong things," He hits the door with a clenched fist, his eyes downcast but he still continues, "I know I do the wrong things but please."

He thinks it might be a question but he doesn't even know what he's asking for. Is it for forgiveness? For you to stay? He feels your hand on his arm and for a brief second, he thinks that the answer to whatever it is might be yes.

Then you move his arm off of the door and open it. And he watches you walk away, not even sparing him a second glance.

He let's his head rest against the door with a thud for long after you leave, trying to make peace with the fact that the answer must be 'no'.

Desma:

She knows she shouldn't but she tries to laugh it off. "Come on, maybe we both got a bit carried away, right?" You're quiet and she doesn't like what she's sure the silence holds. "You know I didn't mean it, right? Come on, I didn't mean it!" She can hear herself getting louder but she can't help it, she needs to fix it. But you're already walking away.

She doesn't hesitate to grab your hand and her insistence is bordering on begging, but you're still trying to keep walking.

"Why are you trying to leave? You don't have to leave—I," he eyes are darting around as if the solution is somewhere in the room and her mouth is running like it has some chance of catching you. "I take it back! How about that?"

You simply pull your arm out of her grip and leave. The last think she manages before the door closes is a shaky, "Please don't leave."

Nari:

She searches your eyes for any indication that these new words of hers have overruled the other ones but all she can find is hurt. She has to do something but this isn't something she can fight her way out of and talking is what got her into this, but still she has to try. She swallows thickly and begins to speak with more precision than she's even spoken in her entire life.

"You know that I have a crude and clumsy tongue and that I would never want to hurt you." She hesitantly reaches out and places a rough and calloused hand on yours before continuing. "You can pretend I never said anything. Please! Can we pretend I never said anything?" She tries to tamp down her panic but it still flares at the end of her words.

You pull your hand out of hers without a word and she closes it around nothing and as she watches you walk away and disappear into the crowd, she feels like that's all she will ever have.

Aretas:

He knew it was low, and now that he's said it, he feels all of his anger abandon him, leaving only fatigue and the desire for you both to go back to how you were before this argument. He rubs his hands over his tightly twisted hair and let's out a heavy sigh. "Let's just move past this." And he was sure that you both could, until he looks up and sees the look on your face.

"Don't make that kind of face."

He hated the look on your face, but he wouldn't have to see it for long as you quickly turned on your heels and began taking long strides, headed towards the door.

"Stop." he would sound intimidating if his voice wasn't wavering.

You didn't even act like you heard him and he knows he doesn't want to lose you over this.

He runs and hugs you from behind, holding on for dear life. "Are you expecting me to beg?" You move to pull away and he tightens his grip and hurriedly continues, "Because I will—I will! So please just stay with me."

You don't

He watches you slip out of his grasp, one step at a time, disappearing into the halls of the palace.

Sarai:

She was right. She knows she was right but as she sees the flash of pain on your face, she certainly doesn't feel right. Maybe an apology would make that look on your face disappear. Maybe it would put you both back in each other's arms like nothing had ever happened.

But why should she? She meant every word she said and she was right.

When you begin to leave she doesn't stop you, no she simply stands there, her clenched fist perfectly hidden in the fold of her gown.

"Leaving, are you?" her face is impassive, her voice almost mocking as she calls out to your retreating figure.

Turn around. Turn around.

She hates the part of her that wills it but still as she stands there she knows that if you turn around she'll give in and say the words. That she's sorry and wants you to stay. But you don't turn around, "I knew you'd leave. Sooner or later." her voice is soft and you're already gone.

Heka:

"I spoke from a place of anger and it's not just against my vows, it's also not fair to you. I'm sorry." his voice is solemn and his shame palpable.

The hurt on your face only just confirmed what he already knew as soon as the spiteful words clawed their way out of his throat.

He tries to look at you, but you've already turned away and he knows you'll leave him here. That you can't bare to look at him. In desperation he calls after you.

"I know I've driven you away and as much as I want you to stay with me, I understand if you can't!"

You don't stop, your footprints echoing in the quiet of the temple and even if it's futile he calls out to you before you round the corner.

"Next time I'll come see you and I'll make it right."

He can't sleep that night and and as his tears fall he looks at them in disbelief.

When did I become so out of control?