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[makeamericabritainagain-blog]

His Excellency, The Despot

Brit: Question: if I was a God, what would my title be?

American: I don’t suppose you’d be okay with the Despot? :P

Brit: Despot? I’m not wholly opposed to it. I’d prefer to be referred to as ‘His Excellency’ or ‘His Lordship’ than despotic, though.

Brit: Actually, it fits. It has a nice ring to it.

American: I’m curious about your despotic regime now. What will happen?

Brit: I’m largely benign.

American: Like a tumor.

[makeamericabritainagain-blog]

Quoting Hamilton

American: “Why should a tiny island across the sea regulate the price of tea?”

Brit: Because you refer to Great Britain, centre of the British Empire, home of civilisation and protector of liberties.

American: “Cause when push comes to shove, I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love”

American: Thanks, King George

Brit: Such a remarkable historiography. An unrivaled source.

American: Totally unrivaled

American: GEORGE WASHINGTON

Brit: Cursed be he.

American: Never. Praise be to him.

American: 32000 troops in New York Harbor

Brit: You arouse my ire. Independence should never have happened, and I *will* correct the mistake.

[makeamericabritainagain-blog]

Chocolate, Cheese & Traditions

Brit: I thought Ghirardelli’s chocolate was meant to be good?

American #2: it’s delicious

Brit: It’s better than Hershey’s.

American #1: It's good for American chocolate. I never said it was good in comparison to European. No chocolate in America holds up to the average European chocolate.

Brit: Apparently not. You could apply that to a number of things, though.

American #2: Oh? Like what?

Brit: Governments, societal structure, social security, cheese, language, traditions...

American #1: ....

[makeamericabritainagain-blog]

Sympathy? What’s That?

Distilled Innocence: How much do you trust these others?

Paragon of Cruelty: More than I trust you. :P By a long shot.

Distilled Innocence: I’m hurt. Seriously wounded. Deeply upset.

Paragon of Cruelty: I can tell. You sound wounded. I’d apologize, but I’m not actually sorry.

Distilled Innocence: I’ll be back in 5 minutes - I just need to go and curl up and cry for a bit…

Paragon of Cruelty: Oh, look at that. The entire sympathetic part of myself just shut off. How sad.

[makeamericabritainagain-blog]

The Glory of Britain is Forever

American: This is your time to show the glory of Britain!

Brit: My time? When isn’t it the right time to show the perpetual and illustrious glory of Great Britain?

[makeamericabritainagain-blog]

The Needless Suffering of Billions

Brit: I chanced upon a new name for you.

American: What is it?

Brit: Evil Incarnate.

American: But….

Brit: Your consistent attempts to deny me my rightful place as saviour of Britain, restorer of the Empire and Hegemon of the Anglosphere through your slander is pure evil.

American: That is not pure evil.

Brit: You’re preventing the glorious future of humanity materialising.

Brit: By denying the world my benevolent rule, you condemn billions to needless suffering.

American: Wow. Wow. Just….wow

Brit: Have I said something wrong?

[makeamericabritainagain-blog]

Banned From the UK

Brit: There are 96 questions on a mock US citizenship test I took. I’m embarrassed by my score.

American: Meaning that you passed and you’re embarrassed that you could be a US citizen? Congratulations. You know more about the US than over half of the people who were born US citizens. :P

Brit: Oh, I passed… I might have gotten all 96 right… :(

Kiwi: I’m fairly sure I would never be allowed to even set foot on American soil with my score.

Brit: I’m more worried about being allowed to stay on UK soil…

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