makeit2030 - Tumblr blog

[makeit2030]

i don’t know who needs to hear this but what the fuck

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me: *exists* me: this is too much

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can you please promise you will try having reading comprehension skills? for me 🥺

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this is so comforting. alive world i love you and your rivers every day

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Between my ADHD, PMDD and suspected PCOS+ endometriosis I may go insane like why am I so faulty

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Been waiting for a text back for over 48 hours like a knob this can’t be me. Past versions of me would’ve made excuses for him. Maybe part of growing up is accepting that he’s probably just not that into me and that’s okay. Surely you WANT to message someone and ask them questions when you’re into them, right?

Anyway I wrote that last post over 2 years ago now, and it’s still the same shit. 24 and never really experienced 2 sided love. It’s tragic and it’s tiring and I’m impatient. So sick of almosts. So sick of being bread crumbed. I wish men would just say what they’re thinking.

I need to hold onto my self worth and self respect. If we don’t have another date by the end of the week I’m brushing it off and moving on. I can’t keep getting my hopes up and ignoring signs of disinterest.

Anyway, once again, future me please tell me we’re happier. Please tell me you finally found ADHD meds that work and that you found someone who loves you as you are without needing to jump through hoops for it. Please say it gets better than this.

[makeit2030]

its always some fucking day in some fucking month in some fucking year isnt it

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I think I’m genuinely unwell mentally and I really don’t know what to do about it.

I feel stupid going to the doctors, because I know there are people that are worse. But then I look around and wonder if everyone is this sad? Because I don’t think they are.

I’m really struggling with my life right now. I can’t seem to get my work done, I eat terribly and never seem to have the right amount of energy for people. I struggled to even joke along with my work friends today because I’m just so sad.

I can’t even cry because I don’t know exactly what I’m crying about. Is it my wavering relationship with my father? Am I lonely? Is it because I never feel good enough? I don’t know.

I feel like it’s everything and nothing at the same time. I wish I could just cry it out. I wish I could talk to someone about it but I don’t even know where to begin.

Ive got so many good things ahead of me and I don’t want it to be ruined by this sadness.

Being friends with one of my work friends makes me sad. I used to like him a lot, and while I know I don’t want him romantically anymore, there’s a part of me that always hurts knowing he never felt the same. There’s a part of me that always wonders ‘what about me was never good enough for you to reciprocate?’ What does he see when he looks at me? Does he see me platonically because he’s grossed out by me? Or is it one of those things where you just can’t help who you don’t have feelings for.

Id love to be the object of someone’s attention just once. Just me, no one else. And that has never happened for me. There’s always been a someone else in the picture; I’m always sharing the attention of the one I admire with another woman. And that other woman is usually who they want more- not me.

Just once I’d like it to be me. Just once I’d like to be chosen because of me specifically, not because I’m the most available. Just one I’d like to be liked for who I am, not who I can be moulded into or the parts of me that can be ignored. Just once.

Future me, did we ever find this? Please say we did, I need hope.

[makeit2030]

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seeing everyone now in love with andrew garfield is so funny cause he’s been tumblr’s princess diana

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#The MCU snippers were after him

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nothing will ever be as beautiful to me as an entire theater full of teenagers and grown ass adults shrieking their asses off when andrew garfield appeared on the screen during no way home and then the same theater full of teenagers and grown ass adults shrieking their asses off AGAIN once tobey maguire appeared as if that wasn’t the logical conclusion to andrew’s appearance

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no bc i cannot believe this happened holy shit

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By Kihto Kun

[makeit2030]

No more girlbossing i want to girl rest girl sleep girl lay down etc

[makeit2030]

[makeit2030]

No more girlbossing i want to girl rest girl sleep girl lay down etc