makeshiftromeo

[makeshiftromeo]

Yoooo

[makeshiftromeo]

tonight is the night i die. TW.

FOUR YEARS AGO.     "How can a man have a perfect life, then wake up with everything being taken away?" Roman sat in his wheelchair, positioned in front of the window. His therapist's office was inside of yet another freakishly tall building in New York. After his accident, his dad set up arrangements for Roman's care in New York, where some of the best medical professionals resided. While there were very reputable doctors back home in Virginia, his dad only wanted the best for him. Understandable. However, New York had a lot of darkness for Roman. Heartache resided within. Rolling back in his wheelchair to face his therapist, he shook his head, "where do I go from here?"     The therapist removed his glasses, folded them, and placed them on the counter before responding. "Well, Roman, that's up to you. No one can tell you where to go or what to do. We may recommend ideas, but at the end of the day, everything is up to you." Roman rolled his eyes. What a cliché response. "You know, Doctor, with all due respect, you're not helping. If I knew where to go from here, would I even be here?" It was pretty noticeable that he was growing irritated. The very reason why Roman refused to see a therapist was happening now - they sat there and asked stupid questions. Clearing his throat, the therapist straightened his posture and shook his head. "You know, Roman, you don't have to be here if you don't want to. These sessions are favor to your father. If you want to waste my time, then we should end right here."     In utter shock at what he was hearing, Roman stared at the therapist. "Isn't this how these go? Someone who's suffering comes to you to find some clarification? I can't be the only one who comes to you, completely furious, after a huge loss. I lost my damn career, my girlfriend, my life. My girlfriend lost her brother in the same  f u c k i n g  accident." "Ex-girlfriend," the therapist corrected. "Yeah, right, thanks for the reminder, doc." At this point, Roman was over it. He wouldn't be getting the help he needed. "We're done here. You don't want to help me, which is cool. It's your right. I'm not about giving up money to be here when you don't give a shit. Just through your damn license away. You're horrible at this shit." With that said, Roman wheeled himself toward the door and flipped off the therapist as he rolled by his desk. "Don't worry; I won't be back."     As Roman rolled down the hallway, he heard his therapist call his name out. He continued to try getting Roman to go back, but he wasn't feeling it. He was feeling much worse now than when he was on his way. The man was already depressed as fuck. He felt like he had nothing. He lost Elina, James. In the end, he lost himself. One thing remained, and that was his friendship with Winnie. Of everyone in his life, she was the only constant. However, feeling like a burden, he felt as though she'd be better off without him. THREE HOURS LATER.     Roman spent most of the night looking up at the moon. It reminded him of the nights he traveled from race to race inside a tour bus. The entire ride, he spent it with his head against the window and his eyes fixated on the moon. It was the only sight that comforted him and reminded him of his accomplishments. Now, what did he have? His biggest accomplishment now was being able to stand on his own two feet for a few seconds without any assistance. He was a burden now. He felt like he was nothing but unnecessary stress added to the lives of people he cared for. He wanted that all to end.

    Roman sat in his wheelchair in the middle of his bedroom. He looked into the mirror that hung vertically on the wall across the room. He didn't even recognize himself. "Who the  f u c k  are you?" Who was this stranger that looked back at him? He hung his head down as he felt the anger from within rising from the pit of his stomach. He let out a scream that was full of rage - one that caused his throat to burn - and threw himself back so hard that his wheelchair tipped back, and he landed on his back. This was not a position that someone who didn't use their legs wanted to be in.     "Tonight is the night I die." The words slipped from his mouth with a sting that stung not only his heart but also his mind. The mere thought of people moving on without him indefinitely was painful. However, the idea of him holding them back was much worse. He couldn't stand to look at his face - a face that reminded him of who he used to be, not who he was. His mind? A waste. Before he went, he needed to let his best friend know how grateful he was and that she did everything possible for him. Rolling onto his side, he sat up and pushed himself to the desk that had what he wanted - a pen and notepad. After jotting down what he wanted to say to Winnie, he leaned back against the bed and closed his eyes. Was he going to go through with this?

    Opening his eyes, he glanced up at the ceiling, ready to surrender to his pain. His head shifted to the side to peer into the mirror once more. At this point, he couldn't stand to look at his face. He gathered up all the strength he had to stand up with the help of the bed to keep him from falling. It took a few minutes before he could stand entirely straight up - being the first time he could do so since his accident. Slowly, he shuffled his feet to the closet, where he kept his Smith & Wesson pistol. He pulled open the door, and his eyes immediately settled in on the case. Slowly removing one arm from the wall that helped keep him from falling, he reached for the case and yanked it on the floor before immediately putting his hand back against the wall. Dropping to the ground, he grabbed the case and pulled it towards him. The lip opened up and revealed the pistol that would soon get put to use for the very first time. Not in a way he expected.     Contemplating whether he wanted to commit went on for about ten minutes before he found the courage to decide his fate. He pushed himself to the wall with the mirror and sat in front of it, looking at himself in disbelief. The longer he took, the less committed he was to do what he needed to do. Slowly, he rose to his feet and leaned against the wall with one arm. The strength in his legs was more than before, but not enough. "I look at you as I take my last breath. As I die and fall to the floor, my pain and suffering are no more." Bang.

[makeshiftromeo]

Survey: 150 Tunes.

1: A song you like with a color in the title: Purple Rain - Prince 2: A song you like with a number in the title: Mambo No.5 - Lou Bega 3: A song that reminds you of summertime: I’m in Miami bitch - LMFAO 4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about: My boo - Usher 5: A song that needs to be played LOUD: Address it - LPB Poody 6: A song that makes you want to dance: Berserk - DJ Blend 7: A song to drive to: BLOW - Ed Sheeran 8: A song about drugs or alcohol: Champagne Showers - LMFAO 9: A song that makes you happy: Come as you are - Nirvana 10: A song that makes you sad: Iris - Goo Goo Dolls 11: A song that you never get tired of: Die Romantic - Aiden 12: A song from your preteen years: Gangnam Style - Psy 13: One of your favorite 80’s songs: When Doves Cry - Prince 14: A song that you would love played at your wedding: Better together - Luke Combs 15: A song that is a cover by another artist: Hello - Fame on Fire 16: One of your favorite classical songs: Dream of a Witches Sabbath - Hector Berlioz 17: A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke: I got you babe - Sonny & Cher 18: A song from the year that you were born: Enter Sandman - Metallica 19: A song that makes you think about life: Face Everything and Rise - Papa Roach 20: A song that has many meanings to you: Finding Hope - Northern Faces 21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title: Darling Nikki - Prince 22: A song that moves you forward: Overcome - Rx Bandits 23: A song that you think everybody should listen to: Only for the night - Rx Bandits (SO DAMN GOOD) 24: A song by a band you wish were still together: I love you - Dru Hill 25: A song by an artist no longer living: Get off - Prince 26: A song that makes you want to fall in love: Forever after all - Luke Combs 27: A song that breaks your heart: Iris - Valerie Broussard 28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love: Dinna Dawg - Rx Bandits 29: A song that you remember from your childhood: Macarena - Los Del Rio 30: A song that reminds you of yourself: Photography - Nickelback

[makeshiftromeo]

Survey: Mindset.

1) What would completely break your character? Getting closure from his mom that left him, and his brother that ran away and has never returned. Roman would strongly suffer emotionally from knowing the reasons why they were able to up and leave.

2) What's the best thing that has happened in your character’s life? Regaining movement from the waist down! Being in the accident that ruined his career, took more than just that. It took his mobility. He worked his ass off for the chance to have a normal life. While he can never race again, being able to walk has been the best thing. 3) What's the worst thing that has happened in your character’s life? The accident, and losing the love of his life. It happened like a domino affect. 4) What seemingly insignificant memories stick with your character? At the crash site, he often remembers the voice of the person who stood over him saying “there’s no way he’ll survive”. That voice - those words - have stuck with him whether he liked it or not. 5) What is your character reluctant to tell people? He’s not quick to tell people that he has an absentee brother. He already feels like he’s a piece of shit for his mom not wanting to know him, so being open about his brother leaving makes him feel like he’s even a bigger piece of shit. 6) How does your character feel about sex? He’s all for it. However, he’s not the type to sleep around. Believe it or not, sex is something sacred to him. He will not have sex with just anyone. 7) What would your character make a scene about in public? Honestly, everything. Whether he’s being humorous, dramatic, angry - you name it -, he’ll make a scene. 8) What would your character give their life for? The people he loves, or have loved.  9) What are your character’s major flaws? He cares too much. Some may not see that as a flaw, but he certainly does. 10) What does your character pretend to care about? He pretends to be happy when people sing him “happy birthday”. It’s quite honestly the most annoying, awkward thing ever. 11) What is your character afraid of? Rejection. He’s experienced it his whole life so now he’s at the point where he doesn’t put himself in situations where he might get rejected. 12) What is something most people do that your character thinks is dumb? Sharing pictures of their food. Roman cannot even begin to wonder why anyone would do it. Like, cool, you’re eating. 13) Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale? He is definitely more likely to be polite. Very rarely has he been rude to anyone, unless they deserved it (people who are rude to women, more specifically). 14) Is your character the type to re-read a book? If they are, what book have they re-read? He isn’t. He’s more of a “one and done” kind of guy. 15) Does your character believe in an afterlife? Why or why not? He certainly does, and believes he experienced the afterlife when he was in his accident. He has a vivid memory of being with his grandpa in a place he’s never actually been. Some would say it was a dream, but in his heart, he doesn’t believe it was a dream. 16) What is something your character feels strongly about? He feels very strongly about everything happening for a reason. He doesn’t believe in coincidence. 17) What is something your character wishes they could say to an ex? He wishes he could tell his ex Olivia just how fucked up she was to him, but that he forgives her. 18) What is one dream your character has had, even if it made no sense? He had a dream that he was the Governor of New York. He’s never been into politics, let alone being interested in becoming Governor. The dream came out of nowhere, but now often makes him laugh. 19) What is the stupidest thing your character has ever done just because someone said they couldn’t? He built a brick wall just to ride through it on his dirt bike. It was a dare, of course, and everyone thought he wouldn’t do it.  20) Does your character indulge in anything? If they do, what is it? If they don’t, why? Yes. He indulges in eggnog during the season! 

[makeshiftromeo]

Survey: Five Things.

1) What are 5 ways to win your character's heart, and why do those 5 things work? 

Be interested in all aspects of Roman’s life. // Having an interest in his life shows him that you aren’t willing to have one piece of him without having the other. There’s so much to him, and he wants someone to appreciate him as a whole.

Enjoy many different things. // Liking a variety of things rather than being limited to what you like shows that you have an open mind, which Roman is all about. He’s never been close-minded, so why would he want to be with someone who is?

Enjoy the holidays! // The holiday season seems to bring out the Grinch in everyone, whether they’re a “grinchy” about finances, people being jolly, or whatever else makes someone a “Grinch”. Roman likes people who let the joyous season push them to show extreme joy in life.

Be a reader. // Like having an open mind, being a reader tells Roman that someone does not let their mind settle within constrictions. In most cases, readers can be fairly creative.

Don’t be afraid of PDA. // When Roman is interested in someone, he doesn’t hold back. While he is never inappropriate when he shouldn’t be, he loves showing his girl off.

2) What are 5 of their pet peeves? What is it about each of those pet peeves that drives them nuts?

Chewing with an open mouth. // The sound of food being chewed, especially when it’s unbelievably loud, drives him nuts. More often then not, when someone is chewing with their mouth open, food is going all over the place.

Too much screen time. // When people spend a lot of time on their phone, they are missing out on moments they can be spending with their loved ones. 

Micro-managing. // Roman hates feeling like he’s inadequate to do anything. He’s a grown man, therefore no one should be hovering over him, or trying to tell him what to do.

Talking to him when he has his headphones in. // If Roman has his headphones in, it’s because he’s trying to block everyone and everything out. If you’re trying to talk to him when he has his headphones in and he doesn’t respond, he’ll come off as rude when in reality, he’s not - you’re just being an ass.

Sneezing/Coughing without covering mouth. // First off, it’s disgusting. Secondly, no one wants your nasty ass germs being sprayed all over them.

3) List 5 people they find attractive (sexually or otherwise). What do they like about each person?

Megan Fox. It’s the eyes and the long, black hair. He’s a sucker for long hair.

Anna Kendrick. A girl who’s gorgeous and has a sense of humor? Done deal.

Mila Kunis. Like Megan, she has gorgeous eyes and black hair. If that doesn’t go to show that he has a “type”, then what will?

Brittany Furlan. While she was kind of annoying back in her Vine days, she’s definitely grown on him!

Sophia Bush. When it comes to smiles, Sophia definitely is the one! Her dimples make her smile fucking gorgeous.

4) Who are 5 people they want to meet (living or dead)? Why do they want to meet these people?

Prince. Prince was a genius and was very philosophical. He’d love to meet him just to pick his brain and to hear some cool stories.

His grandpa. His grandpa died when he was a few months shy of being a year old, so he never had the pleasure. Knowing he was named after his grandpa only makes him wonder what kind of guy he was.

Snoop Dogg. He wants to meet him to hear some of his bomb ass stoner stories.

Ash Avildsen. Ash is a pretty successful guy so to get some advice on what worked for him would be awesome.

Marty Tripes. Marty won the very first Motocross stadium event at just 16 years old. Roman was 16 when he began racing so to hear what it was like to win at 16 would be badass.

5) Where are 5 places they want to visit and why?

Bora Bora. The island itself looks breathtaking! The waters are clear and probably nice as fuck.

The Pearl Harbor Memorial in Hawaii. Pearl Harbor is one of Roman’s favorite movies and he has always had an interest in history, so to visit would be interesting.

The Murder House in LA. When American Horror Story aired, he was shocked to learn that the house did exist, even though it wasn’t what they made it out to be. Since he is the location where the series began, it is definitely a place he wants to visit.

Paisley Park. Since he was a huge Prince fan, he is definitely interested in seeing Paisley Park, and seeing how Prince lived.

Joshua Tree National Park. Roman is an avid hiker so to visit Joshua Tree, the national park more specifically, would be great. He’s heard great things about the hiking trails and would love to experience them himself.