makorays

[makorays]

do you miss when your channel exploded during the femboy revolution a few years back?

my channel's growth has been tied to how much effort i've been able to put into it, i don't reminisce about any sort of luck that may have boosted it in addition to its natural growth

[makorays]

I hand you a spoon 🥄

i already have one in my brain

[makorays]

who are some other small content creators you enjoy that you think deserve some viewing?

transcendent music playlists that i've listened to a lot while on psychedelics: https://www.youtube.com/@olimar124

a bizarre yet fascinating intersection of animal rights activism, existential horror and surrealism: https://www.youtube.com/@_WhatsItLike

extremely useful tutorials for vtuber software: https://www.youtube.com/@Kana_Fuyuko and https://www.youtube.com/@Suvidriel

very cool visuals and explanations of the biochemical machinery that powers the vast and magnificent system we call earth: https://www.youtube.com/@Clockworkbio

miniature pilotredsun: https://www.youtube.com/@badcafe

funny man who talk about videogames in silly ways: https://www.youtube.com/@redeyesgreendragon

some of the best psychedelic visual replications on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@gtrippin620 and https://www.youtube.com/@LokaVision

and, not that small of a channel but shoutout to josie kins for being one of the only psychedelic youtubers who isn't fucking insane: https://www.youtube.com/@josikinz

[makorays]

are you saying ms peep copes with mental illness by acting like a puppy or that ms peep is better with mental illness or kink questions lol?

i'm saying she is more experienced in the art of being an animal

[makorays]

also sorry for pissing you off earlier i just look up to you as a creator not in a weird way but like you've done E and are a femboy and there isn't really any solid people for people who feel the same type of dyphoria sort of like femboy dyphoria to look up to as an example of "yes you can be a boy on E if you feel like it and no you don't need to be a whore to do it you can just be a really chill guy" and you're like perfect as a example for femboys to know yes they can be a femboy and not be a whore so i'm sorry if i pissed you off earlier :<

i already don't remember what you said it's okay

[makorays]

as a fairly level headed person do you think if i started acting like a puppy and acting semi stupid and childish on purpose as a coping mechanism for mental illness online that people would judge me too hashly or do you think i'd be able to do this without being too odd? like how based sigma pilled do you think the internet is? could i do that mr mako ray ma'm sir? also what do you think of people coming up with unique ways to cope with mental illness

this is absolutely a question you should be asking ms peep instead of me, i think she'll have good advice for that

[makorays]

Advice or like tutorial on injecting E like how do you know it's the right spot on your thigh and not like the wrong spot like does it feel different and etc via IM

I need E to like feel okay about my body buy I'm afraid of stuffing it up

Also how do you feel about being seen as like a "older brother" figure by some on the internet

Not in like a weird way but like a sort of looking up to someone way

jesus fucking christ ask your goddamned doctor or look up a diy guide online why the fuck are you asking me

i have no idea what to think or feel about the second thing

[makorays]

What has been your favorite game to stream thus far?

my memory is far too bad to answer this fully, but out of the games in recent memory i'd say brickadia, rimworld and everhood?

[makorays]

gives you a chocolate chip cookie

thank

[makorays]

how do you even get magic mushrooms? i have about 3 grams of dried mushrooms that have been in a box for maybe 6 months or more now i could try grow them but it seems you need non dry ones to get the spores as for friends i don't have discord friends or irl friends either do you think it would be safe to try alone? like completely alone?

motherfucker is asking me to help them source illegal drugs despite them already possessing those drugs

anyway, it's a gradient of safety where the higher your dose is the more likely you are to need a trip sitter. i've personally done up to 4 grams without needing a trip sitter, but everyone is different. if it's your first time you could maybe start with 1 gram and then do the other 2 at a later date? you definitely won't lose your mind on just 1 or 2. 3 would PROBABLY be fine as well but it's probably best to start small if you've never done this before.

[makorays]

don't take this the wrong way i think your avatar looks cool but why does your vtuber look kinda like a shark in some ways? is this intentional?

i like teef

[makorays]

how was your first psychedelic trip? i've had a bag of shrooms sitting in a box for like over a year now but never had the courage to try em due to lack of people to strip sit,fear of bad trips and also the weird autistic idea that i should try to hydrate the spores in them to see if i can grow more shrooms

take 1 - 2 dried grams for your first trip, you won't lose your mind at that amount and you shouldn't need a trip sitter. just make sure you'll be in a comfortable environment free of responsibilities or potential disruptions for at least 6 hours before you take them.

people are afraid to try any amount of psychedelics because they're worried it'll be too intense but it's like, okay, if you're really interested in doing this just take a small amount then. start with 1 gram if you're extra scared. see how that feels, then try 2. if you handle 2 just fine, you can try 3, and then 4, although many people can obtain a lot of benefits even on just 1 - 3 grams.

my first trip was 1.75 grams of albino penis envy, which is a bit stronger than other strains, so maybe its intensity was closer to 2 or 3 grams. i was seeing faint shimmering rainbow geometry overlaid against walls and there were vague shapes swirling in my head when i closed my eyes. i came to many realizations about the way the world works, i learned a lot about what unconditional love really means, and i had a moment where i looked in the mirror and saw something that wasn't me. by which i mean, i saw exactly what i expected to see, it was still my body and my face, but i wasn't associating my sense of self with the body as much as normal. i felt more like a piece of awareness that was simply seeing out of that body. that might sound like the same thing, but it's like...normally you feel like a brain piloting a body, but at that moment i felt like something else piloting the brain. or not even piloting, but rather, witnessing. and i don't mean a soul; i wasn't sure what it was at the time, but i've since come to many realizations (or at least, hypotheses) about how consciousness works and i've already talked about that plenty.

but anyway, you don't really have to worry about a trip sitter until you find a dose that starts feeling a little difficult, or a dose in which you worry you may become irrational. sometimes for me it can be difficult to handle even just 2.5 grams unless i'm with someone, but discord friends are usually all i need. other times i handle 4 grams on my own no problem. you have to slowly work your way up the doses and be mindful of those moments of "okay, i'm kinda handling this, but i would not be able to handle more than this on my own".

the only time i've ever become irrational on shrooms was when i did 6.66 grams and i was utterly convinced that i was dying, but that's a pretty crazy amount. 5 grams is already considered a heroic dose. do not go above 4 grams without a trip sitter unless you're sure you know what you're doing, and make sure the trip sitter knows how to handle people in psychedelic distress.

[makorays]

"Stuck on the puzzle" is a song by alex turner from arctic monkeys made for a movie i believe its one of those songs thats either really depressing or really good depending on the attitude of the person at the time and taste https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKvzHBdcAdM

i'm not into slow-paced sadboy music

[makorays]

How come your vtuber model never smiles? i'm trying to make a meme but i can't find a single image where you're showing any sign of facial joy

i laugh plenty of times throughout most streams, you just gotta skim around until something funny happens

here's an example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4wVjdWb8kg&t=17667s

i smile less than other vtubers because a lot of vtubers have their default state set to smile but i don't like doing that because it's weird if i get mad or sad or whatever (and also i'm a much more reserved guy in general at most times)

[makorays]

why are you suddenly not a dick on tumblr? previously if anyone asked anything mildly depressing you'd essentially be like "i'm youtuber KYS" now you're actually helping people and giving advise like you've matured or something what happened to the beloved cynical catboy we came to pessimistically love and hate? also thoughts on the song

"Stuck on the puzzle" ? :D

i didn't and still do not have the patience for self-hating weirdos, but i'm happy to give advice to anyone who is actually attempting to improve themselves. i just haven't gotten as many weirdos as of late.

idk what that song is

[makorays]

why do you come off as so intelligent?

autism, 130 IQ (not that IQ matters for very much), two incredibly hands-off parents that basically left me to raise myself and learn all the skills i needed on my own which trained me to be better at learning and thinking for myself, a series of trial-by-fire social excursions that forced me to overcome my autistic social ineptitude until i actually started to know more about social rules than a lot of neurotypicals...

i've also taken a fair amount of psychedelics that have opened my mind to ways of thinking i hadn't previously considered. they literally allow your neurons to connect to each other more thoroughly, they can actually give you heightened intelligence when used properly (both in the moment and afterwards as a result of the lessons you learn). my first ever psychedelic experience allowed me to see the world in a truly objective light for the first time in my life, stripped of all the programming instilled in me in my development, and i realized so many things as a result.

i also have a lot of confidence for various reasons; one of which is the knowledge i have, one of which was a necessary development in self-esteem in order to disallow bullies from making me feel worse about myself, one of which is a result of me going through so much shit that i came out the other side in that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" way.

i'm not trying to be too hubristic here but i figured i'd answer the question in as much detail as i could muster just in case anyone else is wondering why this random catboy seems so wise sometimes, or if anyone reads this and takes something away from it. i still have a lot to learn, but i am a very learning-minded individual, and every mistake i make is seen not as a horrible self-hating fuckup on my part but as an opportunity to learn and improve.

[makorays]

why is life so hard?

because an organism is the most complicated piece of machinery known to man and it requires fuel to continue functioning. it's astounding that life can exist at all, and this machinery is too precious to allow to decay. the default state is an empty void with no life, no thoughts, nothing. mother nature gave us pain so that we may avoid our own destruction and keep the cycle going. work must be done to sustain the mechanisms. only plants get energy for free, and i dunno about you, but i find being a human much more interesting and fun than being a plant. it's a necessary trade-off for us to have things like friends and videogames.