mal0nneiiii

[mal0nneiiii]

do you do headcannon req’s? if u do what r your head canon of sans realizing that he falls inlove w reader after a while of knowing them but has a bad fear of getting rejected by them and ruining their entire friendship. only to then have reader obviously confess to him? sorry if it’s tm to handle! rmb to eat ur fruits and veggies (n drink lots! and eat good nutritious food too!) -🥭

the voices took over and i wrote this in one sitting-- no i don't have a problem, why do you ask? (also yes i do take requests so please feel free to send em in!!) ₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

sans is someone who keeps everyone at arm's length. love wasn't exactly something he ever planned on being in the cards for him. after all, why hope for something like that when it could all be ripped away from you with the mere push of a button? he's waiting for the day he'll wake up to snowcapped trees and the knowledge that freedom has once again been ripped from his grasp. falling in love?? outrageous. falling in love with a human?? impossible. out of the question. snow poff's chance in hotland that would ever happen.

then you came along. and that was something sans never could've anticipated for.

a personal headcanon of mine is that sans falls under the demi umbrella (romantic and sexual). he doesn't really care what he falls in love with gender-wise, seeing as gender in monsters is not withheld in any sort of binary like in humans and is all dependent on what the SOUL wants them to appear as. you and him were just friends for a while before he was finally able to pinpoint how he really felt about you.

and once he realized the full weight of his affections, that scared the ever-loving shit out of him.

you were everything he could've wanted in a partner, really. someone who takes life in stride and can appreciate the small things. someone who enjoys good food and good company. someone who can match his own wit and appreciates his humor. you're a dreamer and shoot for the stars, but you can be down to earth and real with him when the situation comes. you don't sugarcoat things for his sake and you wear your heart on your sleeve. you're wonderful. dare he even say, you're perfect.

why would someone so wonderful like you want a lazy bag of bones like him anyway?

at first, he's really in denial about it. definitely plays it wayyy too casual every time the two of you hang out to mask his insecurity and then goes home to hyper-analyze every interaction he had with you that day. was his laughter a little too forced after that joke you made? did the way he brushed up against you while walking make you uncomfortable? and so on. you can tell something's off because his smile's a bit strained at the corners. he seems wearier than usual and every friendly brush of his hand is fleeting from you. almost like he's afraid to touch you?

because he is. sans is somehow a deeply touch-starved and a touch-averse monster all at the same time.

you are one of the best things that has happened to him in a long time. and that's what makes sans so fucking afraid to lose you. so for as long as he can, he'll keep his feelings close to his SOUL under a tight lock and key. to SPARE himself from the sting of rejection. to SPARE you from the burden of loving him. he's been hurt one too many times by the ever-looming possibility that it will all come to an end one day. he inadvertently begins to distance himself from you because of it. conversations between you two slowly fizzle into one worded responses. and eventually, sans just starts leaving you on read. and he hates it. he hates doing this to you. you don't deserve this. but, you'd never like him back the way he likes you, so... why even try?

why dream of a future that will never come to fruition?

that ultimately ends up being his biggest downfall. until one day, you pull him aside. there's concern and hurt written all over your face. he's never liked seeing you upset and always did his damndest to get you smiling again. after all, that's your best feature in his personal opinion. but knowing he's at fault this time around makes him feel just utterly awful. you interrogate him with a variety of questions. how have you been? "..doin' alright." are you okay? "never better." you look exhausted.. have you been sleeping well? "tried to catch some z's, but they ran away from me, heh." sans? "...yeah?"

do you... hate me?

he feels his SOUL plummet at the way your voice breaks. what. what??? no. nonnononono, of course he doesn't hate you!! if anything, he adores you. you, with your stupid snort-giggle of a laugh that he loves to hear every time he cracks a joke. you, who's kind enough to offer the jacket off your back but also tough as nails and takes no shit. you, who gave him reason to look forward to tomorrow. and the day after that. and to next week. and the month after. you, who gave him reason to HOPE again.

how on earth could he hate you?

stars, you look so small with your shoulders hunched and your eyes so glassy as you struggle not to cry in front of him. this is what he gets for closing himself off to you. he's desperate to do some damage control, hands trembling as they take yours and link your fingers between his. he stumbles and stammers his way the whole way through his confession, unable to meet your eye. fuck, he's scared out of his mind. emotions were never exactly his strong suit, especially when it came to his own. his skull feels so warm.. he has no doubt his entire face is a deep shade of azure the longer he runs his mouth. he can feel his sockets beginning to burn. all he wants to do right now is shortcut the hell outta here and hide in his room for the rest of time. but he knows if he doesn't tell you now, he'll never have the courage to say it.

you're wonderful. you're funny and you're witty and you're kind. you're so wonderful, that honestly it scares the living hell outta me. 'cuz sometimes it feels like you're just too good to be true. you're everything i could ever want, really. but, sometimes it feels like... you're so far out of my league. and what we both have right now is so good and-- fuck, i-i don't wanna mess this up y'know? i can't.. i can't have you just up and outta my life when you're so... good to me. but stars, every time we hang, i just want more. more time. more time with you. more... you. does that make any sense? ...heh, hell if i know. but... i-i don't hate you. and fuck, im sorry. im so sorry i made you think that for even a second. truth is, i... i care about you. i care about you so fucking much. and that's.. not easy for a guy like me. because when i care too much, it.. usually ends up in disappointment. a-and that's not me saying you're disappointing!! it just... i-i mean, uh.. dammit, i mean--

..something warm brushes along his cheekbone as the words die in his throat. then his skull is being guided up to meet your gaze. through the blur of tears clouding his vision, he can make out your features. your eyes are all glossy from the tears freely running down your flushed cheeks. you look like a wreck. but you're smiling. and never have you ever looked more beautiful than you do right now. sans finds himself pliantly falling into your safe, warm embrace as you tug him close to you. he's trembling so hard, the rattle of his bones sounds almost deafening in this quiet room. his phalanges fist the fabric of your shirt and his skull buries itself into your shoulder once he's close enough. he should probably apologize for staining it with his tears, but that can wait until later. because somehow, amidst all his nonsensical rambling, you perfectly understood just what he was trying to say. he outright sobs with relief as you say the very thing he should've just told you from the beginning.

"I love you."

[mal0nneiiii]

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“So, lemme get this straight– a machine you designed to keep track of all these different timelines malfunctioned, ripped a hole clear across fucking space, and dragged these two from alternate universes into ours?!”

Sans ducks behind his cup. “yes..? or at least, that’s the working theory anyway.”

You look down at the bottom of your glass to see it’s nearing empty. This conversation had to happen, you know that. But fuck, it's been a slow one. Trying to wrap your head around the idea that this point is one of innumerable other timelines... You don't even want to begin to think about how Sans must be coping with all of this. Getting information out of him has been more tedious than You snatch the bottle of Jack Daniel’s off the coffee table and pour yourself another helping. 

"..I am not drunk enough for this." You groan.

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[mal0nneiiii]

it felt like i knew you

the other day i saw a series of before and after photos of someone falling asleep on strangers in the subway and then i cried so i wrote this LMAO

link to photoshoot if you wanna see 🫰

here’s a drabble about sans falling asleep on you during your commute home, enjoy pretty ppl 🗣️🦴

Okay. This is fine. Just stay still, and maybe he’ll wake up and realize. You’ll have a good laugh about it, and move on. Totally, totally fine.

You can feel the weight of the stares the people on the subway are giving you. Well, most ignored you, enraptured by their own lives, but a few threw you looks of pity, or maybe bemusement, you’re not sure. Either way, no one here is gonna throw you a lifeline. You’re going to have to figure out how to get out of this yourself.

The stranger on your shoulder twitches a bit, stealing your attention. He’s one of the smallest monsters you’ve ever seen, and bizarrely, he’s made entirely of bone. Which isn’t exactly comfy to have leaning against you.

You check your watch— fifteen minutes until your stop. It had been another draining shift at work, dealing with the dredge of the everyday. And it felt like the entire city agreed with you, slumped and tired as they all made their commute home.

Especially this guy. You snagged a seat next to him when you got on, the last one available in the whole train. While you had immediately noticed his bony appearance, you tried to pay it now mind, and plopped next to him, achy legs finally relieved. He gave you one lazy glance, then looked back down at his phone.

You didn’t recognize him. But then again, you hardly recognized anyone on your daily commute. It felt like the faces around you were always changing.

You settled into your seat, prepared for your approximate thirty-minute trip. After quickly pulling it up, you stared hard at the mini-crossword puzzle on your phone. 1 down is shred… 7 across is ruined… 5 across is…

Hmm. What’s a six letter word for both part of an arm and a circle…? Your mind was completely blank, brain a little fried from work. Maybe you should’ve paid more attention in Geometry.

“radius.” The voice next to you was smooth and low, stealing your attention away immediately. He was looking over your shoulder, curious sockets blinking. “five is radius.”

Normally, this would’ve annoyed you— a stranger glancing over your shoulder to look at your phone isn’t always welcome. But for some reason, you had a feeling he meant well. And radius would’ve taken you forever to get.

“Thanks,” you replied, getting a hum in response. Nothing else to say, you both when back to your tasks. Yes, successful and normal interaction!

You expected the rest of the ride to be uneventful. In fact, you hoped that was the case. All anyone could ever hope for is an easy commute home after a long day. But the guy next to you seemed to have other plans.

The first time his head began to dip, you ignored it, focus still on your puzzle. You’ve done your fair share of nodding off in the train, after all. He must’ve had a long day, like everyone else.

And you snorted when he started snoring, a soft sound that ebbed with his deep breaths. You glanced over at his now sleeping face, finding him out like a light. He looked sort of cute like this.

But then his skull fell to your shoulder.

You stiffened, shocked that this stranger felt comfortable enough to use you to sleep on. His head was heavy, but warm, and his breathing tickled the skin on your neck. No, this wasn’t a normal commute home at all.

You’ve been stuck like this for a while now, anxiously glancing between his face and your watch. Five minutes until your stop. You should definitely wake him— is it weird you haven’t yet? Oh man, it’s definitely weird, isn’t it.

But he just seems so peaceful. Maybe he really needed this? Who knows, this might be the best sleep he’s gotten in a while. By the way his snores were picking up, it sure seemed that way.

After another minute of debating, you gently jostle his shoulder, making him mumble something about ‘five more minutes’ and ‘paps’.

“Um, excuse me…?” You shake him again, making him finally raise his head and blink blearily at you. He looks confused, mostly. You smile a bit and say, “Sorry to wake you, but I have to get off soon.”

He glances between your face and your shoulder, working out the situation for himself. Then, his eye sockets widen.

“ah, sorry about that.” A light blue glow dusts his cheeks as he sits up straighter, placing his hands carefully in his lap. As if he’s afraid he might lose them. “didn’t mean to make you my impromptu pillow there.”

“…That’s alright,” you reply after a moment, chest warming at his bashful expression. “You looked so peaceful, I didn’t wanna wake you.”

“heh. falling asleep anywhere is among one of my many talents.” He scratches his chin, eye lights flicking across your face. Then, he extends his hand for you to shake. “the name’s sans, by the way. sans the skeleton.”

You tell him your name, slipping your hand into his. You freeze when a terribly-cartoonish fart noise fills the train car, stealing the attention of the passengers around you. Sans, apparently, breaks out into a fit of laughter. It’s odd how familiar it feels to hear it.

“i totally forgot i still had that on, my bad,” he explains, bones still rattling at your shocked expression. “the ol’ whoopee-cushion in the hand trick is always funny.”

A loud, bubbly giggle overtakes you. You can’t help yourself— this guy you’ve just met on the subway is ridiculous, in all the right ways.

“Is this how you meet everyone?” you ask in-between your laughs, stomach already aching. “By falling asleep on them and using whoopee-cushions?”

Sans’ smile turns cheeky as he gives you an exaggerated wink. “‘course i do. it’s a real slept on method.”

The stranger to your left groans as you and Sans double-over in giggles. How often do you laugh like this after work? Your mind struggles to come up with an instance, no matter how much you wrack your head. Usually, you were too drained to even think.

A little breathless, you say, “Thanks for making me laugh.” You glance down at your hands, fiddling with a loose string on your clothing. “I really needed it, after the day I had.”

“you have a nice laugh.” His voice is softer now, and he looks a little surprised by his own words. “more people should hear it, i think.”

Before your brain can short-circuit, the intercom makes a muffled noise that you instantly recognize. “My stop is next,” you say, surprised at how disappointed you sounded. Slowly, you begin to rise from your seat.

“hey, sorry again for falling asleep on you.” A bony hand grazes against yours, making you pause. Sans darts his eye lights away, smile growing a bit. “it’s weird, but i guess for a second, it sorta felt like i knew you. funny, right?”

You press your lips together, face warming. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

With that, you give him a small wave and step off the train, and into the station. It’s crowded, and you have to slip between clusters of people to make it to the exit. Everyone concerned with their own lives, ignoring the faces right in front of them. You can’t help but notice how light your shoulders feel. Not typical for you after a long work day.

You wonder if Sans will take the same line home tomorrow.

+++++++

my body is a machine that turns meet-cutes into sans undertale fics. i kinda churned this out quickly, can’t tell if its good or not 🤓 but i hope u enjoyed!!

[mal0nneiiii]

dude..ur writing is so good i would literally print it out and eat the paper with some cake. if u wrote a whole book i would read it, write a series i would. write something in a whole new language i would decipher it on baby. i found ur writing and i am so glad i did!! eat good and drink welll. 🥭

this compliment i-- ough swoon thank you so much!! ( ´ ∀ )ノ～ ♡

[mal0nneiiii]

sans x reader cw: ecto pussy, reader w/ a strap-on, begging haha oops uh-- how'd this get here

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"stars, baby please--!"

His voice is breaking as you drive your strap further into his needy cunt. The light of his magic is a beautiful cerulean, running down his femurs. You can feel his metacarpals trembling from where they're digging into your shoulders. The movements of his hips are clumsy, uneven. Poor lazybones doesn't even know how to ride you properly.. Your hands smooth down his chest, fingers dipping between each little divot of his ribs. His SOUL glows a little brighter.

"Please what? You've gotta use your words, y'know.."

All you get in response is a depraved whimper that sends a jolt of arousal right between your thighs. Your lips brush along his neck and a melodic rattle of his bones fills the room. "c-can't-- it's.. hmmff!" He frustratedly grumbles. "If you won't tell me, I'm gonna lay back and make you do all the work." ... He mumbles something intelligible into the crook of your neck. "Words, Sansy." Your palm flattens and smoothes along the curve of his spine, hand buried to the wrist underneath his ribcage. The small skeleton writhes from your touch. Slick dribbles from his neglected cunt as he gives weak little rolls of his hip to seek more of that delicious friction. His entire skull is almost azure in color, eyelights in the shape of wobbly hearts. "haa--ah! fuck me! please, 'm beggin ya here; fuck me already!" The moment you thrust into him at last, he moans in utter relief. You've never heard him reach that pitch before. You hit him in all the right spots, fill him in all the right ways. He can't get enough of you. His phalanges are clawing at the straps of your halter, trying to pull you ever closer and deeper to him. More, more, more. He just wants you and everything you're willing to give him. "yes!! harder! i can take it baby, i swear! jus' don't stop, pleasepleaseplease--" He prattles more into mindless babbling the closer he gets to his release. You whisper praises against his sternum, the thrum of his magic tingling against your lips. The moment he reaches his peak, he's howling your name to the stars above. You're there to help bring him back down to earth again, cradling the limp bag of bones in your lap and pressing a tender kiss to the top of his skull. Would Sans call himself greedy?

Not necessarily.. but when it comes to you, well; he wants everything.

[mal0nneiiii]

We wolf women need to be fed more fanfics where the reader (yn) takes control of the hot, delicious men, please.

[mal0nneiiii]

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thinkin about taking sans out on a stargazing date. it takes some careful planning on your part to keep it a surprise, since sans's ability to read faces means he can instantly tell when you're keeping something from him. you check out a few books from a local library on stars and the constellations to flip through. you can picture the sweet little smile on his rounded skull as he explains the origins behind each one to you. eyelights all round and big.. they get like that when he's talking about his passions. you pack some of his favorite foods and snacks to share on a cozy lil blanket. since light pollution taints the view, you had to map out a place a good length's away from the city. it's a field with patches of wildflowers among the viridian grasses. the open sky overhead is pretty promising for a breathtaking view once the sun went down. that was the second hardest part of your plan. the hardest part was keeping it a secret.

honestly, there's a good chance sans was fully aware of what you were planning from the beginning. but he pretends like he's unaware for your sake. he thinks it's adorable when you get all excited doing these sorts of things for him. his SOUL thrums in his chest the whole drive up. his breath is stolen from his non-existent lungs when you take your hands off his face to reveal your hardwork. a blanket set out with open books on constellations, his favorite snacks, and.. a telescope? holy stars. not only that, it's a celestron. he carefully runs a boney hand along the optical tube.

"Do you like it?" You ask him nervously. "I was worried maybe this wasn't the right one.. And, y'know-- I figured you could show me all the planets and what not. If you don't like it, it's no big deal! I'll just--" you don't get another word out as the skeleton is suddenly grabbing you by the shoulders and dragging you to his level for a long and passionate kiss. it catches you off guard, but you quickly return the gesture and rest your hands on the sides of his face.

"i love you." he utters when you both part, "holy stars, i love you so much." his eyelights are wobbly in their sockets, but his smile is the biggest you've ever seen it. the color of his cheekbones is a soft shade of blue and warm to the touch. you can't help but giggle with relief. "I'm gonna assume you like it?" "sweetheart, it's outta this world." the rest of the evening is spent gorging yourselves on goodies while he shares his expansive knowledge of space with you. his eyelights are glittering the whole time, especially after some well-timed astronomy puns. he believes you must've been a gift sent to him from the stars themselves. and sans couldn't be happier to have the most gorgeous view in the world:

his favorite person, laughing with him under a sky littered with diamonds.

[mal0nneiiii]

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chapter one of in which a witch is now live!! i hope you all enjoy as we finally get to kick things off!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

come and read it here!!

edit: this story has been renamed to witch image!

[mal0nneiiii]

oh please please please begging you on my knees, just a crumb of sans undertale headcannons of yours 😔😔🙏

hehehe omg of course!! enjoy your breadcrumbs about our blorbo 🙏🙏

Sans is like, incredibly involved in his community, especially when he gets to the surface. I’m talking that man shows up to farmer’s markets, community events, etc., and usually as a vendor. He’s the kinda guy who likes being a friendly face around town.

He talks during movies, especially sci-fi ones, blabbering about inconsistencies and plot holes. You think it’s really sweet, but also please just let us watch Interstellar, Sans.

He keeps a tomato garden on the surface and has his own recipe for homemade ketchup that nobody really knows about. He just puts his stuff into the brand bottles, and no one’s noticed so far.

Sans plays basketball. I feel like no one is drawing this man hooping anymore?? He literally dunks!! This man shoots hoops!!

He doesn’t like using his anti-gravity magic on people. Says it’s weird to control someone’s movements like that.

Goes through so much coffee, you’ve started buying separate brews just so you wouldn’t be constantly needing to buy more. The guy could have five cups a day, and sometimes does, but still fall asleep on the couch by 1 p.m.

He really likes to be the little spoon.

Sans has a strange phobia of knives. Says he isn’t sure why, they just freak him out. He likes having you cut something for him in the kitchen.

A chronic stoner who’s usually out of weed because he’s too lazy to buy any. In fact, he likes to borrow yours. He doesn’t like doing it in front of Papyrus, but of course his brother knows.

Listens to too much Radiohead.

Has a secret collection of Boomer memes. They’re endearing, okay?? He’s doing it out of irony!!

Actually genuinely I think he has a meme page that he posts on once a month. Somehow it still has hundreds of thousands of followers.

these are just some random ones i could think of!! i hope u enjoyed, love this skeleton a super normal amount!! （＾∇＾）

[mal0nneiiii]

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"Hot dog! Looks like I caught you just in time." Sans perks up, eyelights shrinking just slightly in their sockets. They relax into their usual size and you swear his smile grows just a bit bigger. Whether at your horrible joke or at you.. you're not quite sure. But your SOUL does this little happy hum when he does. He leans against his stand, cool as a cucumber while he looks up at you with a lazy grin. "was wonderin' when you'd come by. frank-ly, i was startin' to get a bit bored over here." You snicker. "Aw, miss me that much?" He ducks behind the counter and grabs one of those red and white checkered paper food trays you see at a concessions stand. Sans unceremoniously plops an empty hot dog bun into it. He puts out two bottles; one of ketchup, the other mustard. "gonna stick with your usual?" "Actually, I think I’m gonna try something new like I said.” You hum, plopping down on the bench next to his cart. “After all, what's the wurst that could happen?"  ₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

a sneak peak of chapter one!! i apologize this is taking me MUCH longer, ive had two very different drafts and i finally landed on the version that i want ( 〃▽〃) but!! i should have this out within the next few days so be on the lookout! thank you so much for your patience!! (´꒳`)♡

[mal0nneiiii]

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started watching soul eater again, and then i had a thought: weapon sans and a meister reader.

until he'd met you, sans had no luck being paired with a meister. he was described to be uncooperative and lazy with everybody who paired with him. he constantly slept during lectures. he didn't even show up for exams! many believed that he couldn't even transform into a weapon because he just... wouldn't. nobody had ever seen his weapon form. in all honesty, he hated the idea of being someone's tool to use. he especially didn't like the idea of being a weapon for a human. just because monsters and humans were now working together against a common enemy, didn't mean he had to like them. he could care less what those flesh bags thought of him. he won't let it get to him, not so long as he keeps that toothy smile on his skull. you and your weapon had begun to drift apart. even after countless months spent in training trying to match soul-wavelengths like you used to, nothing about your relationship with one another seemed to improve. and it had finally taken its toll. you had been just a handful of SOULs away from making your partner a fully-fledged death scythe, but after an incident that puts your mission in jeopardy, you finally call it quits and break things off. as you sat on the steps of the DWMA, head in your hands and tears in your eyes, you begin to wonder if it was ever worth it. everything you've been working for... everything you've known.. was it all just a waste?

a night out in death city helps take your mind off things.

the bar is a little hole in the wall, run by a fire monster you learn is named "grillby." and the skeleton sitting beside you is apparently a frequent customer of his. you had asked him to pass the ketchup to garnish your fries.. only for them to be swimming in the condiment seconds later and him snickering quietly at your expense. there's something about this monster that allows you to let your guard down, remove that mask of perfection that your last partner demanded of you. but with him.. this total stranger, you feel seen for the first time. you are unaware that the monster sitting beside you is actually a weapon. an infamous monster who has a reputation of getting along poorly with humans.

sans never imagined he'd actually enjoy the company of a human, much less a meister. he's found them all quite easy to read, like picking up a picture book and flipping through it. blatant emotion written all over their fleshy faces. sans was well aware of who you were the moment you started trying to chat it up with him. you were no different, but there was a realness about you he appreciated. you wore your heart on your sleeve, something he couldn't stand the thought of doing and simultaneously respected you for being able to do. plus, you did have a nice laugh... you and sans grow considerably close over the course of a few months. you've effectively wormed your way into his SOUL and you have no intent on letting go anytime soon. and for whatever reason, sans is letting it happen. nobody knows how you did it, but you managed to get sans "i hate humans" serif to open up to you.

♡

it's a late night as sans walks you back home after the usual meetup at grillby's. you're both shooting the shit, laughing obnoxiously and playfully rib-ing one another for awful jokes when it comes out of nowhere. hollow pinprick eyes, an inky black body writhing in the shadows. a gaping mouth, full of wickedly sharp white teeth.

you and sans recognize what it is immediately. a ghoul. an entity fueled by its own greed, feasting on the SOULS of monsters and humans alike. on its way to becoming an incredibly powerful creature called a kishin. and then, it would be unstoppable.

your first instinct is to protect him.

you grab his arm and dash out of the path of incoming claws, high-tailing it down towards the town square in hopes that a more experienced meister and their weapon might be nearby. you don't have your weapon.. and as far as you're aware, sans can't transform. even if he did, you wouldn't be able to handle him efficiently. you're completely and utterly fucked in a situation you used to be able to handle with ease. you're useless. the ghoul swipes its claws again and sends you two skidding across the pavement.

you can taste blood in your teeth.

he has a crack above his left socket.

sans feels his SOUL plummet as he spots your crumpled form on the ground. it makes him feel sick. in the time that you two have come to know one another, he got attached. against his will, he found himself craving more time with you. wanting late nights like these to last just a little bit longer. enjoying good food and laughs. he can't afford not care to anymore.

not when the life of somebody he cares about is in peril.

"do ya trust me?!" "What?!"

a boney hand extends itself toward you. "do. you. trust. me?!"

you've never heard him sound so desperate before. the look in his eye lights.. his hand stretched towards you. it scares you. not much rattles a guy like sans. the ghoul rears its head and shrieks.

your hand reaches out.

within a blink of an eye, sans suddenly vanishes from his spot. he reappears again in front of you, clasping your hand in both of his. the eye socket with the crack over flickers an ethereal shade of blue and yellow. and then, a flash of that same color of light. a familiar sensation crawls up your spine, tugging at the very culmination of your being. a strong, overwhelming desire to protect protect prOTECT PROTECT PROTECT that meshes with your own. you feel it stronger now as your hands instinctively close around something. something sturdy and bitingly cold, sending a slight sting through your palms.

his magic is so cold it nearly burns you.

but you could never forget the feeling of a weapon in your hands. you open your eyes to see his handle in your grasp, a sleek white in color and sculpted to resemble a bone. the head of the weapon looks like the top half of an animal skull (it doesn't look like any animal you've seen, but it vaguely reminds you of a canine or a dragon). a striking blue pupil stares back at you from its socket. a sleek curved blade designed to hack and slash through whatever came its way.

sans's weapon form was beautiful. and equally deadly.

"..Sans?" his voice rings out in the wavelength, loud and clear. "i'm here, buddo. let's get this show on the road, yeah?"

your hands tighten their hold on the handle. the chill of his magic burns your skin with how cold it is. the only thing keeping it from being any worse is the somewhat uneasy SOUL bond you two have managed to form. it isn't perfect by any means, but if it helps you two survive this, then who the hell cares? the wind is howling..

you can feel your SOUL pounding in tandem with his. your hands grip his handle tighter as the ghoul charges toward you both with a howl, ready to consume you in its gaping maw. his azure tinted blade glints in the silvery moonlight. dangerous, precise. you steel your nerves. "Let's go."

[mal0nneiiii]

Y/N : Sans hit on me and asked me out, ugh i can't believe I'm gonna fuck that skeleton

Undyne : ??? You don't have to???

Y/N : No I'm gonna

[mal0nneiiii]

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To say the least, this isn't quite where you had expected your life to have gone.

But then again, you suppose you've been a magnet for the peculiar. You had always been drawn to the strange and unusual quirks of the world, even when you were young. You never quite fit in with the other children, but you never seemed to mind it when they poked fun of you behind your back. A few childhood bullies learned the hard way what an eight year old can do with a stick and pure, unfiltered grit. Silly or cliche as it might sound, you felt as if you had a calling elsewhere. A purpose that had yet to make itself known to you.

You were content with waiting for that day. Good things came to those who wait, or so the saying goes.

But apparently the universe had other plans for you, and decided to unceremoniously pluck you out of your comfort zone and thundercunt you right into whatever this was. And as you stand in the living room, half-asleep with your hair in all directions plus five skeletons in a heap on the floor while wielding a frying pan, you can't help but wonder:

Just how the hell did you get here? ₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

hello!! i apologize for the lack in activity lately, but ive recently had this little passion project of mine in the works! my undertale obsession has come back in full swing, and what better way to fixate than with a full length fanfic centered around a funny skeleton and his multiversal variants? with that, im so proud to present:

in which a witch..

i will be posting occasional sneak peaks into every chapter as they get closer to completion, so i hope you all enjoy and be on the lookout for the next chapter!! (ﾉ´ヮ)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[mal0nneiiii]

i need that skeleton whimpering underneath me

RIGHT.

NOW.

[mal0nneiiii]

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i like to think dream!sans is a reverent worshipper in bed.

it's like he's weaving poetry with his praises for you, the words spilling effortlessly from his mouth like molten honey. sickeningly sweet and laced with all the affection a guardian could hold for his significant other. he treats you as if you are the most precious thing in the multiverse and to him, you are. every kiss he graces upon your skin is quickly and reverently thanked before he places them. you can feel the warmth radiating off of each one.

"you're so beautiful.." a kiss on your wrist. "thank you.. oh, thank you.." a kiss on your shoulder.

"absolutely stunning.." a feathery soft kiss on your neck.

dream could easily praise you all day long. to him, every breath and loving syllable is worthy of your description. he is at your beck and call, more than happy to fall to his knees if it means he can hear his name and those pretty sounds fall from your lips in a breathless mantra. he may be an ancient deity, but dream will worship you like a devout follower if it means you'll grace him with your presence.

when it comes to receiving that same treatment, however...

he can't handle it in the slightest.

dream is more than capable of dishing it out, but unfortunately he is completely unable of taking it. he feels almost unworthy of your praises because he does not believe in them for himself. you are the only one who is able to see past his perfect facade. that is what he adores about you the most. you do not idolize him as this perfect guardian who can do no wrong. you know he is not perfect. in fact, he believes himself to be the furthest thing from it. but it is a standard he keeps trying to uphold because he feels he must. because it is what others expect of him. but you are there to remind him that he doesn't need to be perfect with you. that he can forgo the mask of that polite smile he wears and really, truly feel with you. he can be angry and scream, wail and cry if he needs.

and you will love him all the more for it.

those eyelights of his are wavering and unfocused in their sockets, shaky breaths rattling his ribcage as he watches you delicately kiss down his sternum. you can feel the soft tingle of his magic coursing just beneath the surface of his bones. it's a peculiar feeling, yet one that you keep chasing as you flatten your tongue to give him a lick. it elicits such a pretty sound from him, one so delicate and airy. a darling dust of golden magic colors his cheekbones. "so pretty.." you murmur as you look up at him with an adoring grin.

"ah!" dream's phalanges tremble as he quickly clamps both of them over his face. whether it was to hide his expression or muffle his sounds, you couldn't tell. maybe it was both.

"d- don't say such things when you're.. in a position like that..." you merely coo in response as you shift your weight on top of him, gently prying his wrists away from his skull. you press a kiss to the left knuckles, and then to the right. the gesture quickly earns you a flustered whine in response. "but it's the truth, sunshine. i think you're pretty. and lovely. and wonderful.."

your lips find their way to his collar bones, feathery soft in their ministrations as you whisper praises against him. when your teeth gently nibble one, his entire body jolts as a whimper tumbles from his mouth, but he makes no effort to stop you. instead, he surrenders himself to your ministrations, ultimately powerless. "so kind, and hard-working.." another kiss on his sensitive neck.

"strong... reliable." a kiss to the top of his skull. "my radiant light.." and another to his cranium. you can hear the soft, almost melodic rattle of his bones as they tremble under your touch. his fingers tighten their hold on you while your hand trails down his ribs, feeling the dip and curve of each one.

"y-you're too-- oh! you're too good for me, my darling.." you merely give him a loving smile. "it's what you deserve, dream. you deserve everything good, even if you think otherwise. but i'm going to convince you that you do, one way or another." there's a set determination in your voice that sends dream's SOUL aflutter as he watches you journey lower and lower down his body. he feels himself grow almost dizzy as he watches you settle between his femurs. you hold his aurum gaze the entire time as you press a slow, languid kiss right on his sacrum. that sweet little gesture earns you your name breathed on a moan from his lips.

stars above, you're going to put him into an early grave.

"will you let me show you, sunshine?" you gently coax him.

always so considerate. despite the lust-ridden haze in your eyes, you still look at him with all the adoration in the ever-expanding multiverse. even through his embarrassment at being reduced to a quivering mess over just a few words and kisses, the positivity guardian feels himself wanting to give his everything to you. who is he to deny you, the very one he loves? the only one who can make him feel this exposed. this.. open and tender. so, he implores you. "..please."

[mal0nneiiii]

The tags you put on the reblog gave me ideas hehe

Could you write something with Edd where he’s fucking himself on readers strap and she’s super sweet and praises him a lot? I’m sorry this is my second request in a week if I’m asking stuff too much please tell me 🫣 your writing just gives me life! And inspo for my own writing 💪🏻💖💋

girl, don't EVER apologize for requesting!! im more than happy to write for my moots, especially if it's over our favorite character!! i apologize this took so long, the last few weeks have been SWAMPED with work as i near the last of the semester my coping mechanism is writing my favorite fat boy getting dicked down lmao <3 content warning: sub!edd, dom!reader, strap-on, sloppy kisses, hand-holding, edd has a raging praise kink, puns during sexy fun times, post coital cuddles

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"oh, eddie.."

your voice is sweet like dripping honey, smooth as a finely woven silk. it's the only thing he can truly register while you plow deep inside him. his head feels like it's full of cotton, so delightfully fuzzy and blissfully unaware of everything else. all he can do right now is feel you. hear you.

nothing else matters to him. your hands are perched on his thighs, keeping them nice and wide so you can see everything. he has nowhere to hide. there's this adorable pink flush coloring his cheeks, even the tips of his ears. his unkempt hair is even messier than usual, sweaty strands cling to his forehead.

an image just to die for. you give him a sweet little kiss on his nose.

"you're so handsome! my big sweet boy.."

he preens under the praise, hips twitching off the bed as the head of your strap grazes his prostate. he gasps your name with a quivering moan. his big hands are fisting the sheets, nails seconds away from shredding the fabric. you halt your ministrations if only for a moment to lace your fingers together. he holds onto you with a grip so tight it feels like he might just crush your bones. but honestly, you couldn't care less. those pretty brown eyes of his roll into the back of his head with a particularly deep roll of your hips, pleasure-ridden tears wetting his lashes. he whines when you stop moving, pawing at your hips and thighs. "w-wha..? why did you-? love c'mon, don't stop now, i was so--" he's babbling now, that pretty little head of his reduced to mush. and the only thing on his mind is chasing that release. a swift kiss is more than enough to shut him up. he chases you when you pull back, much to your amusement. "what'd i say about closing your eyes, baby?" you reach up to gently brush his hair out of his eyes so you can see him a little better. "s-sorry.." he mumbles, "just, heh.. feels really good." you reassure him that all is well with a kiss on the forehead. "keep those pretty eyes on me from now on, 'kay? wanna see ya." "huuoohhkayy.." edd's voice wavers, but he manages to crack a cheeky smile that trembles at the corners a bit. you know that look. that's the expression he has when he's about to do/say something stupid.

"no."

his grin only widens at your dismay.

"eddie, i swear--"

this little shit.

"eye'll do anything you say long as you keep fucking mE-! h-holy ffffuuuuckinnggg--!"

you can't help the shit-eating, slightly mean grin that appears on your face when that strangled cry is forced from his lips. you've sheathed the entirety of the dildo back inside of him, buried right to the hilt. his head is laid flat against the pillows, fingers trembling. god, he's pretty.

"you make another pun while we're banging, and i'm gonna gag you." the threat is empty. you like the sounds he makes too much to actually go through with it. he knows it too, but then again...

the pace you set is brutal, every thrust slapping against the back of his thighs. you're thankful that the house is empty right now.. none of the others would ever let you live it down for making so much noise. it doesn't take long to bring him to that brink again. you know he's close when his voice starts to break. he calls out to you, pitchy and breathless. "g-gonna.. cu-hum! 'mgonnacumlovepLEASE--!"

you silence his needy whimpers by capturing his lips once more and slipping your tongue into his mouth. he lasts maybe a few more pumps of your hips before he's falling apart in your hands, painting his pudgy belly in his own release. you slowly ease him off the high, coming (heh) to an easy stop. he's gone boneless on the bed, all blissed out from the post-orgasm glow. "good boy.." you murmur against his lips, "there ya go, easy does it." you carefully pull out of him and unclip the harness from your hips to deal with later. a grimace appears on your face from all the chafing, but oh well. for now, you're cuddling next to your dopey boyfriend who's got this stupid grin on his face as he looks over at you. he wastes no time reaching out for you and pulling you into his sturdy arms. you giggle when he starts leaving little kisses all over your face and down the side of your neck. "you big ol' baby." you mutter as he nuzzles his head against your chest. that earns you a playful nip to the tit, which you respond with a light tug at his hair. he snickers and holds you a little tighter. "you love me." a smile spreads onto your face as you smooch the top of his head. you comb through his disheveled hair, those brown eyes you adore staring back at you with so much affection it could make you melt.

"yeah. yeah, i do."

[mal0nneiiii]

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gimme one of those sans x reader reverse harem fics where the reader isn't a submissive doormat and instead has the mentality of: "yeah, they're all grubby short and unhygienic little bastards, but i can and will top every single one of them, so lets see how that goes."

turns out, they're all super into it and now reader has a bunch of skellies that wont leave her alone cuz the strap was just that good