maladjustedneurotic

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First time watching Hannibal NBC: Very serious, drama, thriller, on my toes suspense etc

Second time watching Hannibal NBC: Sitcom, romantic comedy, Will is such a funny guy hehehaha

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"So, how's the training going?"

👀 👀 👀

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can we talk about that shower scene in knockout please? 😍😍

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I watched episode 1 of knock out impulsively and now I love it. Poor boy keen. His life in the first episode is like

The scene where thun was hesitant to comfort keen and then keen asks for it from him, that was beautiful. Did keen strategically choose bathing time for the conversation. Well no one is complaining and how thun did it woahh

And in conclusion in response to stressors in life, I started yet another series like any mature responsible adult, in addition to the two series that I am already watching and obsessed with. And all three of them are ongoing. Wow

I make such good decisions. Now let's see how I get through weeks🤞

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Thinking....

About the parallels and differentials between Ramil and Khanin's "If I can't order my boyfriend to live in my bed forever, what the fuck is the point of being a royal prince?"

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paytai or ramil. I have no idea which one of them is actually becoming my favourite character in this series.

the freaking symbolism behind whipping boy paytai putting the collar on himself and then handing the leash to prince ramil for whom he suffers, again and again, only for ramil to almost immediately drop the leash, grab his collar directly and kiss him... oh gosh, the dog motif is going absolutely wild with these two...

I've got an almost finished wip from ramil's pov but now I really want to write something from psytai's pov as well...

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what paytai says is "you own me" but what he wants to say is "you're the most precious to me". what ramil hears is "i am bound to you" but what paytai wants him to hear is "i choose you"

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Collared by his own hands.

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"you are mine, all mine"

they are insane and gonna hurt like hell

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Two sides of the same coin.

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Ahhh cue incoherent screeching

They are awesome. And this was soo good. It made sense with the situation and characters. They both don't have power over each other in usual situations. Both suffer under ramil's father. So according to the trailer ramil gives away the control to paytai. And now they switch. Paytai gives control over himself to ramil because he got jealous, insecure and possessive, to placate him I guess. And he did it willingly. There was a clear cut consent. It's their dynamic.

Both people are layered. Like onions. Wrapped with emotions like care, love that's forbidden but hard not to, pain, guilt, fear, disappointment, jealousy, possessiveness bitterness, lack of freedom and choices. When they tackle it, it is going to hurt so much.

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The way some people are reacting to RamilPaytai would not survive actual toxic yaoi like we haven’t seen anything yet.

But on a more serious note their relationship is far more complex than some people are giving them credit for, it’s far more than just saying Ramil is toxic and calling it a day.

They have a dom/sub relationship with some bdsm, it is very obviously consensual and I really don’t like that some people are talking about it like it’s not. Paytai is very much into it, he’s wants Ramil. When Paytai and Charan were talking about The Garden of Eden and the forbidden fruit, that bed scene was Paytai’s forbidden fruit, something he’s wants but can’t really have.

They are in a very unhealthy living situation as Ramil’s father is abusive towards both of them and controls everything. The bdsm seems to be a way for them to have some sense of control over themselves, each other and their lives. Ramil’s father holding it over Ramil’s head that he can take Paytai away from him at any moment terrifies Ramil so he became possessive over Paytai.

Ramil is an ass, he’s toxic and possessive but he is also a victim, he has no control over his life and his father is emotionally abusive and manipulative.

His father uses Paytai as a way to keep Ramil in line and when he steps out of line he abuses Paytai to punish Ramil, that’s why Ramil was worried when Paytai came back a day early because he knew that Paytai would now be punished for what Ramil did to Khanin.

They are both victims that have found a way to have a little bit of control in their lives.

Their relationship is very unhealthy but they only have each other.

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Khanin is a person who wears his heart on his sleeve and it is painful to see him in a place where people don't do it. It is a product of living outside the machinations of the royal family and their etiquette. when he uses the power he possesses to get what he wants and make Charan stay by his side, it is a weird cause we know that's not how to wield your royal power and make someone stay. You are using a power which translates differently to people who grew up under it. But Charan doesn't obey him completely because of his loyalty to the king and also because khanin is not a royal who would punish him if he does that. So when khanin commands charan to " stay by his side", " look into my eyes" and other things, it comes out as desperate to keep the only slightly familiar figure by his side in this unfamiliar palace. It is raw, painful and so good.

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I like that the series itself established early that the king is calculating man looking to consolidate his power. He is more of this than a grandfather to khanin and I feel like khanin gets it too as of episode 4. We have a person who is saying he sent his grandson away for his safety, hid this information from the own father and was suddenly brought back when you like and needed the grandson to perform their supposed duty to the clan. and again he tells charan that the palace is the safest place to be when they return from the bhuchongpisut palace. Okay cool grandpa at least you are consistent in your motives if not in your words. Charan's loyalty won't make him easily question the king's motives but kind ain't even trying to hide honestly. Making him say that khanin's dad died, dismissing charan when he thinks he is forming a close bond, using a constellation to warn them. Definitely that's how you treat your 'adopted son' 😒 and he used this point too didn't he? Such little sorry old shit.

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I keep going on with my day and suddenly get jolted by the disappointment that surges through me when I remember that princess ava was not considered as an equal to other heirs just because she is a woman. This series is kind of a fantasy I think. Like there is an entire new country on the map with clans and all. And I know that there are different kinds of fantasies, one that is closer to real society and one with entire new worlds etc. but like you did imagine an entire new country but still include a shadow of misogyny, heteronormative conforming royal family affairs, homophobia (not blatantly I guess but because he is a royal prince kind of thing),reluctance to accept marriage equality in royal settings, etc. whyyy because difference in classes, stations and clans enough give you lot of substance and angst to work on. If you are imagining an entire country, do it better than the already existing ones no.

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It's how North has been trying to seek Sonic out and got rebuffed and just found out that Sonic gave up on him and decided to push him away deliberately because he didn't think they could have a relationship and suddenly he's shattered and all that loneliness he was feeling was too much and he still smiles with the others but he can't even bring himself to pretend for Sonic. And then Sonic looking so hurt even though he's the one pushing North away deliberately is still heartbreaking because Sonic does love North he just doesn't know what else to do besides push him away. (use your words, use your words, use your words!)

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The Big Dixk Energy that petite man wields is actually INSANE!

And that's what I love about Kim.