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                              ●  I AM NOT   ●

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      ❝ I’d probably slit someone’s throat for the Anastasia palette.❞ She’s leaning against the cool tile of the bathroom counter, applying makeup to her lids with a finger.,  ❝ Wouldn’t feel bad about it either. Forgive me, G-D, but the bitch had the cute palette and I jus’ dont have the funds right now. ❞

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“To my daughter I will say, when men come, SET YOURSELF ON FIRE.”―

                      Warsan Shire, Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth

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Thoughts on conjuring spirits

Never call up what you cannot put down. It is a myth – and a dangerous one, at that – that a practitioner can only attract things that they can deal with. Just like how when you’re walking in the woods only wild animals will come up to you if you can deal with them. Or just like in real life you will only interact with people that you can easily send away. In reality a person can attract all sorts of things to them that they cannot deal with – and magic is no different. If you start calling for powerful entities that you have no hope of banishing, well, then you’ll get them. If you have zero experience, start with entities that you have a fair chance of fighting – like a kitty or a bunny. See how you do, gain experience in banishments. Go on from there.

What you call will come. It is a cool, but very scary, fact that what you call will come. Start calling Bael or Beelzebub and you can be quite sure the Lord of Flies will take notice of you. You may not be able to sense or see this interaction, but it has occurred. It is a frustrating reality of being a conjurer that you have to control your thoughts and not “accidentally” come in to contact with certain beings. Beings can and will appear to you even if you have not set up your summoning circle, your conjuration tools, or prepared yourself mentally. Avoid calling things when you are unprepared. Avoid calling anything you cannot deal with (see “never call up what you cannot put down” and “start small”).

You are not always going to immediately see the effects of a conjure gone bad (or good). So you conjure a spirit one day and stuff gets freaky, and you feel uncomfortable. But instead of properly shutting down your ritual and banishing your space, you just get up and walk away. Everything seems okay. Then a month later the water faucet bursts and floods your house. Things start to go missing. You can’t be near your closet without getting a panic attack. You feel the need to sleep with your lights on. Your pets won’t come in to your bedroom any more. If a conjure goes bad, you are not always going to immediately see the effects so you can take care of it immediately. Predator spirits can be very sneaky. They want to creep in to your life and start to take control without you noticing. If a conjure starts to go bad, shut it down properly. Banish to the best of your abilities. Take care of things ASAP. A “wait and see” philosophy does not really work with bad conjures. Likewise, you may not even know things have gone badly until the symptoms start to arise. When stuff starts going wrong, don’t wait – take care of your business. If you read that and say, “how do I take care of my business?” then conjuring is not right for you just yet.

Likewise, suppose you conjure a benevolent spirit to help you out. You may not immediately see the effects of it’s touch of grace. Give things a little time to develop – spirits are not “magic”, they require time to work just like we do!

Start small! Summoning big powerful stuff is not your goal as a beginner. Your goal is to work with safe conjures, get experience in banishment and protection, and learn how to safely work with spirits. Once you’re a big badass conjurer and this post is nothing but a distant memory, then go for those crazy summons. Until then, go for those domesticated animal, baby elemental, plant spirit conjures.

Make a habit of doing things right. During a recent psychic reading, a demon verbally kicked my ass for doing things wrong. It was a bit of a wake-up call. If it’s “only” a reading then I don’t need to protect myself, right? If it’s just a bunny spirit I don’t need a proper circle. But this is the kind of sloppy conjure habits that get people in serious trouble. Realize that the point of protection isn’t for when things go right, as you are expecting – it is for when things go really wrong. My ego tells me I don’t need a circle to conjure a kitty cat. But as a rational conjurer, I should know better. Do things right, even for small conjures. It is worth the effort.

You not being able to sense things does not mean that nothing is happening. One of the messages I am getting more often lately than any other is, “I see visualizations just as you described, but I don’t believe they are real.” Well, they’re real, and your self doubts are not stopping a spirit from wondering why you conjured it just to ignore it. Some spirits are going to take offense to this. I know when I conjure a spirit and then my dog (or something) distracts me, they get pissed off. When you conjure, you are dealing with a real being that had the courtesy to show up to your call. Even if you are not able to sense them, visualize them, etc., they are likely there. With experience you can tell the difference between a failed conjure and your inability to see spirits. Until then, always assume as spirit has shown up, thank it, and send it away correctly.

A spirit being “good” and a spirit being a boot-licker are two different things. I conjure lots of “good” (meaning, not predatory, friendly to humans) spirits that are short-tempered, impatient, and generally unwilling to be a doormat. Even when working with angelic spirits, perhaps the “most good” ones you can find, they get frustrated at me if I am doing something that bothers them. Just like you get irritated when people do things that bother you. Goodness is different than endless patience and a desire to comply to your every whim. Just like there are a multitude of predatory, unfriendly, wants-to-eat-you spirits who present themselves as being ultimately benevolent, sweet, and loving, there are a multitude of good spirits who present themselves honestly and don’t want to put up with your bull.

Use good manners. “Thank you for responding to my call.” “Our time to speak has come to an end, please return to your home with my best wishes.” Pleases and thank-yous go a long way in the spirit world. Don’t neglect good manners.

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"those girls aren't beautiful they're just white". Please don't tear down girls just to uplift another.

White girls have been calling black and brown girls hideous monkeys and enforcing white as the primary beauty standard for centuries but as soon as someone prioritizes black and brown girls it’s all about equality among women hmmmmm 👀

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    Heavenly eyes have seen all. She knows what lies in the heart of men. The good, the bad -- she’s seen how the lines have blurred and become muddied. Shoshanna tries to keep the cold distance befitting of someone holy but she can’t. She cannot be a mindless observer, watching boredly and flipping onto the next life. Shoshanna pulls her eyes away from him and says, ❝ WHERE ARE YOU GOING? AFTER DEATH? ❞  

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        ❝ did you know that just a few moments after your death the grim reaper has to do a lot of paperwork? ❞ she’s sifting through her own papers now, voice like a whale’s song and eyes like a lighthouse. long, brown fingers trace a line or two before pushing the stack of sheets aside. not what she was looking for.  ❝ i’ve seen him a few times. we kind of have the same job but different. i do more strictly religious things. he’s sort of freelance.❞

            ❝ BUT ANYWAYS, he has this sort of weird office in limbo with a bunch of junk he snatched from dead houses. but he also has a lot of file cabinets because a lot of being the grim reaper is just paperwork. people are always going somewhere. worst is when there’s a false alarm and you gotta kinda get them in and out and wipe their memory. it’s crazy. some people say they’ve seen heaven but that’s not true. or maybe it is. maybe somebody fucked up on the job. ❞

                     ● @strcngemercy  ●

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       There’s no such thing as too much love! Shoshanna can feel herself welling up with tears, even as she’s in Cadillac’s arms being kissed and hugged. No such thing as someone caring TOO MUCH about you especially after being away for so long. How happy is she to have her soldier home! Her handsome girlfriend with all his strength and might! She’s crying but she’s also laughing and trying to give just as many kisses back. Shoshanna never forgot how much she loved Cadillac but it all felt like A LOT when she had so much to give.

     Shoshanna could have and did have everything in the world. She had wings that scraped heaven and feet that hovered above the Earth. She had eyes to see every one of G-d’s faces, but even THAT did not compare to the beautiful, bubbling bursting feeling of being back with her lady. Shoshanna takes a deep breath --- she might faint if she doesn’t. 

     ❝ You’re gonna have to put me down now or I might pass out, BUT TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT. DID YOU WIN? WHAT HAPPENED? DID YOU GET HURT? ❞ Dark brown hands are ready to heal if need be. 

                                 ✶ ＲＡ Ｚ Ｅ Ｒ Ｎ Ｉ Ｊ ✶

—- “ SHOSHANNAAAAAA!!!!!!!!”

               Her name bursts from cosmic war-driven lungs. Pair of arms grasp her tightly, it would take an incredible amount of strength to get her out of them - even the GODS themselves would be facing an impossible task. He has the both of them levitating above the ground, puckered lips bombarding her with kisses: from her forehead to her cheek to her mouth to her chin to her neck and - never forget - the tip of her nose. Nose nuzzled in her hair, inhaling the perfume she wore and carried everywhere she went. Sweet and delightful, very much the opposite of his own fragrance: GASOLINE & FIRE. A war zone.

               “ OF COURSE I’M BACK, I WOULD NEVER LEAVE FOREVER!!!! I’m                    sorry the mission took so long, I had no idea it’d have a delay! The se-                   cond we were done, I made sure to DASH right back home to you. I                   didn’t have the time to shower, I hope I don’t smell too bad…..                    I JUST MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! MWAH MWAH MWAH!!! “

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          He’s blue, new and gayer than you :)

                                 @destructiveglitch

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          𝐎𝐎𝐂 .  inspired off THIS (srsly its my new fave photoset), truly enjoyed doing this 

                           @malckh

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         ❝ You’re back! ❞ Shoshanna forgot the pain in her body, her legs and LEPT into Cadillac’s arms.  ❝ I thought you had left me forever! ❞

                     @destructiveglitch

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i wish i could’ve known my mother before the world hurt her 

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     It’s nice to be by the lake. And it’s a good day for it too. Shoshanna stands at the mouth of the water, peeling of her cover-ups. She wades into the water before peeking behind her and saying,  ❝ Come get in the water with me! It’s so warm! ❞

                  ● @ofxeden  ●

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tape one: found at a garage sale in a box of tapes

Cheap film from the nineties. the video shakes and flashes before settling on a girl of indeterminate age. She’s sitting on a bed, monster sheets and big Monster Inc. pillows. Her face is hidden from view by a mop of curly dark hair. It seems like she’s moving but you can’t tell if its her or the tape. 

A voice, distorted, calls for her once, twice before getting angry. The camera wobbles as a man crosses in front of the lens, hovering over the girl. His voice raises, shouting obscenities. The tape glitches, lights and color skewed. The camera position has changed. Whoever’s holding it is hiding behind something. You can just barely see that the man is on the floor cowering as the girl stands above him. You hear his frightened voice, a scream before silence. 

The camera holder gasps. The girl lifts her head revealing a face full of eyes. The camera falls.

           @exorcismhymn