maljic - Tumblr blog

[maljic]

which one of yall updated Todd Reirden's wiki page. "but his contract thankfully expired at the end of 2023-2024"

thankfully 💀

[maljic]

genuinely so funny watching ovi on the powerplay. bro is JUST standing there ‼️🔥 he says 🧍🏻‍♂️. he says you guys do what you gotta do over there!! my ass is PARKED 😤 . he says 🗿 and the opposing teams have shark vision and therefore cannot see him and leave him entirely alone. that man could crack open and drink a whole dr pepper without having to approach the bench during the full 2 minute man-advantage

[maljic]

pasta a la erik karlsson

THE INGREDIENTS: pasta. alfredo. meat sauce. raw (red) onion. hot sauce (cholula, judging by the video). ketchup (heinz, i think?). a little salt and pepper.

THE RECIPE: boil pasta, chop the onion, serve with all sauces. eat and not die.

hi my name is emily and welcome to jackass

instead of liveblogging this process, i'm just going to add my thoughts to one big post to make it cleaner <3

6:48 pm: the pasta is boiling. i keep looking over at the Pile of Sauces and giggling. i have whispered "what the fuck" to myself a few times now. i'm cooking the whole box, because we're all having spaghetti tonight, but i'm the only one brave enough to try... This

6:54 pm: erik did not mention this as part of the meal but i poured myself a glass of rose. the onion has been chopped. i tried to get them chunky to match the video but that's like too much man, at least have your onions DICED why are they in CHUNKS ERIK

7:05 pm: writing these time stamps i'm realizing i'm a slow cooker because i keep getting distracted by my playlist (rn it's rebel rebel by david bowie). i am starting the alfredo sauce and it's sinking in that i'm about to actually. eat this. like a few bites, there's no way i'm eating this whole plate (this is NOT foreshadowing)

7:07 pm: i almost panicked because i didn't think i had enough milk for the alfredo but surprise, i had EXACTLY enough. this is a good omen.

7:15 pm: everything is done, i am just waiting for the meat sauce to warm up. i'm still whispering "what the fuck to myself".

7:21 pm: it's time. to assemble.

i grabbed a small plate, but i'm realizing. maybe i should have grabbed less. this is revolting. and i'm not even done adding things

added and mixed. i'm laughing. erik eats this. before every game? it overwhelmingly smells like cholula which is fine but oh my god. oh my god? no. no. this poor man's stomach. oh my god

7:30 pm: i've put it off. it's time to take a bite

IT'S JUST. IT'S JUST A LOT OKAY. THIS IS A LOT OF FLAVOR AND NONE OF IT REALLY GOES TOGETHER? it's like way too acidic. biting into a red onion is a terrible surprise. it's too saucy and it doesn't feel Good in my stomach, like i have taken two bites and it's settled so heavily already. okay no three bites. it's... it's just upsetting. this is an upsetting experience. what the fuck is wrong with you erik karlsson. you eat this and then you go and play professional hockey?

FOUR BITES IN AND IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. why does he do this to himself like can we send someone to check on him fr i am genuinely concerned about this man like i made this meal for the bit but he willingly does this to himself?????? 82 games a season???????

IN CONCLUSION: i managed five (5) bites. they were all bad. don't make this. someone arrest erik karlsson immediately i am so serious.

[maljic]

first career shorty for K'Andre

[maljic]

Because I can’t be bothered with logging in to my NHL account to make an actual bracket, I spent hours creating my own (from almost scratch). My reasoning for my choices have absolutely nothing to do with which team I think has a chance to win, because I don't pay enough attention to any team aside from the Pens to have an opinion. Nope, these choices are all motivated by a combination of "I don't like anyone on their team" and WWSD:

Dallas over Vegas (because I’m still not over how VGK treated Flower and the Stars haven’t done anything to offend me lately)

The Avs over the Jets (because Sid may love a bracing Winnipeg winter but I’m think he’s more likely to put a person over a temperature/weather phenomena)

Vancouver over Nashville (because the Canucks rock specialty jersey designs and the Predators and their fans annoy me)

LA over Edmonton (because I have not yet encountered a circumstance under which I would root for the Oilers)

Sunrise over Tampa (because the Panthers have that pork dish for sale at their arena and the Lightning were annoying about their Cup wins, though the Panthers roster having a Tkachuk also offers an annoyance factor)

Boston over Toronto (because I don’t want Toronto to have good things, or false hope; the Panthers can deal with the Bruins in the second round)

Capitals over the Rangers (sorry Mika and Chris, but Trouba)

Hurricanes over Islanders (because the Hurricane Warning third jerseys are cool and not as orange as the Islanders’ Gorton fisherman thirds)

That means, in the second round:

Avs over Dallas (for the Sid factor)

Vancouver over LA (just to keep a Canadian team in the mix)

Panthers over the Bruins (because Boston fans don’t deserve good things)

Hurricanes over Capitals (because that Hurricane Warning third jersey really carries a lot of weight with me)

So the third round becomes:

Avs over Vancouver (because Sid)

Hurricanes over Panthers (see Round 2 reasoning)

Which creates Cup final in which the Avs take the Hurricanes (because I want to see Sid enjoying Nate’s Cup party again this summer).

[maljic]

2009

[maljic]

yeah they were all yellow

[maljic]

[maljic]

[maljic]

some bonus face post-game | 17 april 2024

[maljic]

04.15.21 welcome to the Pens

[maljic]

The Isles honor Big Jeff after his final game.

[maljic]

no matter Sid youre still the prettiest

[maljic]

this is so funny. his family is here, the mini tribute video just now on the broadcast, all these stats for his career, geno grabbing his goal puck, the way they reacted to him scoring....and getzoff and rupp still have to be like 'well we don't KNOW for sure it's his last game. but if it were.....'

[maljic]

Tristan. its the sole reason theyve kept him around

hmmm who do we think will be kissing rusty's bench bruise better

[maljic]

i think Sully's challenge was just peer pressure cause all the cool kids are doing it you understand

[maljic]

latch the fucking door