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tumblr users’ obsession with self-reporting (especially as a weird form of penance) needs to be studied

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I think this is how they treat OCD

*Valley Girl voice*: I must, like, not fear. Fear is literally the mind-killer. Like it’s basically the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will totally face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and? When it’s gone? I’m gonna like turn the inner eye to see its path! Where the fear has gone there will be literally nothing. Only I will remain.

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Oh my god we actually did it.

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Post on my dash about medical debt reminded me of the time tumblr saved me two grand. I don't think I told y'all about it because I am out of the habit of posting everything I do on tumblr lol

So. Last December, I had a bad cavity filled, and about a week later, I woke up with half of my face paralyzed. Which, as I'm sure you can imagine, freaked me the fuck out. Fortunately I had some level-headed Discord friends who a) told me what Bell's palsy was so I could look it up and b) reminded me to call my dentist for an emergency appointment. Dentist was also pretty sure it was Bell's palsy, but urged me to go to the emergency room to get checked out, because one-sided facial paralysis is also a possible indicator of a stroke. And you don't fuck around with strokes.

Bell's palsy, if you, like me of 6 months ago, don't know, is a harmless paralysis/muscle weakness on one side of the face that can be caused by a variety of things. It usually goes away on its own after a few weeks but also you can speed up the process with steroids.

I was pretty sure I was not having a stroke, because I'm Red Cross first aid certified and I know the symptoms of a stroke, and while one-sided facial paralysis is one of them, I didn't have any of the others. Also, I had quit my shitty job in October, which meant I had a shiny new marketplace health insurance plan and hadn't even touched my deductible. But I called my parents from the car and they urged me to get checked out and promised to help me pay off the emergency room bill if I needed it, because they're good people and they love me even if they drive me crazy sometimes. So off I went to the nearest emergency room.

Emergency room staff also didn't think I was having a stroke, because I waited ALL AFTERNOON, periodically having a new person come up to me and ask me to smile, hold both arms out to the side, press down on their hands, and tell them what month and year it was. (They don't ask who the president is anymore. Hmm, I wonder why.) One guy had me drink a cup of water while he watched. I cannot stress enough that I did not have any medical tests other than a physical examination: no CT scans or MRIs, no IV drugs or blood draws, nothing.

I get diagnosed with Bell's palsy and given a prescription for Prednisone. And then they give me a phone number and tell me to talk to this person about administrative stuff. So I call, and the dude on the phone verifies my name and date of birth and insurance information, and then he says, "It looks like your copay today is going to be $2400. How would you like to pay?"

I am, to this day, kind of impressed that he didn't even stutter over that number, but I assume working in a medical call center drains your entire soul. At this point, it's about 7pm, and I've been in the hospital since 2pm, and I'm stressed because half my face doesn't work, and I know that I can't afford $2400 because I quit my shitty job with nothing lined up back in October. But, I still remember every tumblr post I've ever read about health insurance and the medical system and how you can negotiate down a bill. I am not looking forward to this process, it sounds like a pain in the ass, but the alternative is paying $2400, so I say the magic words: "Send me an itemized bill."

I kinda expected the guy to try and get me to pay up front, but he just says "Ok" and finishes up the process. I get discharged, go to the only open pharmacy at that time of night to get my Prednisone, have the pharmacist tell me the prescription isn't written right and he can't fill it, go home, and have a screaming sobbing meltdown because I have used up every single milligram of cope in my entire body. (I got my steroids eventually, and the Bell's palsy cleared up in a couple weeks.)

A few weeks later, I get the bill in the mail. I brace myself and open it...

$300.

Turns out, after going through insurance and processing and everything, they couldn't actually find $2400 worth of stuff to charge me for. Shocking! Who could have predicted!

I might have been able to argue it down even more, but I was fed up with entire thing, so I paid the $300 just to be fucking done with it. Sometimes the cheapest way to pay is with money.

What if I had paid that $2400 up front? Do I think they would have been like, "Oh, oops!" and refunded me $2k? Well, possibly, but I am not optimistic.

So, thank you to everyone who has ever posted about navigating the US healthcare system on tumblr. Because of you, I knew how to handle this situation even when I was tired and stressed.

Don't forget to ask for an itemized bill, folks.

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i genuinely GENUINELY find the transandrophobia debate to be fucking enraging. as a transmasc person: obviously!! yes, we are privileged over transfems!! transmisogyny is completely unignorable, no matter where i look!!

the most glaring instance of this is how both myself and my younger sibling identify as nonbinary, with the only difference being our enforced sex at birth. we both live in the same house, have gone through the same upbringing with the same transphobic and abusive parent, and we have very similar internal experiences of our personal gender identities. despite this, my sibling still faces a significant amount more difficulty than i do, PURELY because they are transfem and i am transmasc. in fact, most of the abuse i receive from our mother is not because of my own queerness but rather because of my willingness to stand up and defend my sibling from her, and because she holds me as personally responsible for having influenced them into becoming transgender. if i chose to remain silent, or if i chose to play along with her, i would no longer be a primary target!! while, obviously, my sibling has no choice to opt out!

and it's not just one abusive old transphobe doing this, because i have seen the same pattern repeat itself over and over again, across the spectrum of trans men and women that i know and love. i have seen t4t couples where the man abuses his female partner, in ways that i can only describe as being textbook misogynistic - and their mutual friends all take his side, purely because they believe her to be an inherently aggressor due to her transfemininity. in fact, when she faces transmisogynistic abuse from OTHER people in the community, he does not bother to stand up for her and instead reinforces to her that they are correct and that she deserves what is happening, that in fact she should shelve this to focus on HIS issues. the only time he even bothers to acknowledge that his behavior is abusive is when he's confronted by a mutual transmasc friend, and this does not actually push him to change meaningfully behind closed doors - he only cares that it was noticed, not that it happened.

even on a smaller, "insignificant" scale, i have watched transmasc and nonbinary fans of media talk at great length about their transmasc headcanons, only to then get uncomfortable and upset when a transfem fan says that she relates to one of the characters. they insult her repeatedly, and tell her that she is being pushy and rude, making THEM uncomfortable for doing something that they have all been doing for weeks and months on end. (and, when i stand up for her, i am treated with equal disrespect - but afterwards, i'm the one who people apologize to. not her.)

over and over and over and over, from tiny interpersonal conflicts to intimate partner violence to parental abuse, it is legitimately impossible not to recognize that society scrutinizes and punishes trans women harder than it does trans men. all it requires to see this fact is to know and love any transfem in a meaningful capacity, and it will become obvious. and yet these people, who are firsthand witnessing the transmisogyny around them, who are in some cases THEMSELVES enacting it against the women they proclaim to care about, will turn around and say that we are all equals. "we're all faggots in the eyes of the state," right? as if, by claiming this, it will somehow absolve them of the capability to do harm. as if this is not the equivalent of sticking your head into the sand and refusing to listen to a word coming out of a woman's mouth because you don't want to believe the things she has to say. because you don't want to believe that anyone could possibly have it harder up than you do.

and yet, somehow, even saying this will often be interpreted as its own form of "oppression" against transmascs. fix your hearts!! fix your fucking hearts!!! stand up for your fucking sisters or die! i'm going to turn into the joker

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Adobe is going to spy on your projects. This is insane.

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A cockatoo broke our rocket. :(

Gonna need a tiny bit more context here bud

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Really worried about Chris Smalls. People who spoke up for Greta, should speak up louder for him.

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Step-by-step guide to wield a ‘Golden Cudgel’ like the Monkey King Sun Wukong by 襄阳梅子

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there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

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Steam power

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“im gonna put that old man in a situation” and then the old man is 35 and the situation is heterosexual marriage. get real and put werner herzog in a saw trap or stop wasting my time

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i love to learn about my cat i love to google “should you trim cat last claw? trim all cat claws? cat last claw called? cat fifth claw? cat claws labelled. trim cat dew claw?” and then say hi graham i learned something about you! your weird claw is called a dew claw and it will not be worn down by regular walking so it is extra important to be diligent about trimming to prevent it growing into your paw pad! and he bites me and bites me