manbanani

[manbanani]

Donna Troy the woman that you are + wonder twins doodles

close ups under the cut

[manbanani]

Talia: My son, part of courting a lover is showering him with the finest quality items. You should do this for your alien partner, and buy him better clothes, so he can dress appropriately on earth.

Damian: He's half alien, mother. Was born and raised on earth, he is more than aware of the culture of clothing.

Talia: So why is it that every time I see him he has holes in his clothes even before any battle?

Damian: ... It's a... style. He already buys them like that.

Talia: Pierced like he survived gunshots? Doesn't he want to keep his identity a secret?

Damian: Mother, it's a common style among young people, so he doesn't draw attention to himself by wearing... holes. It's said to be a "cool" thing for young people to wear.

Talia: Do people enjoy to look like they don't have the means to have full clothes?

Damian: ... I don't understand it either, but I accept him the way he is!

Talia: Oh, your grandfather was right, you just sound like me.

Damian: Mother!

Talia: I was the same when my father tried to understand why I was enchanted by a man who dressed as a bat...

Damian: This conversation is over, it's too embarrassing and I want to forget it already.

[manbanani]

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

[manbanani]

Batboys who, when they’ve upset someone in their lives who they care about, just buy them copious amounts of things they like because that’s how Bruce tries to rectify his small mistakes with his children

Wally: Hey, Dick? Did you order basketball tickets?

Dick: Oh, yeah. Last week. I ate your leftovers and you were upset about it, so I got you tickets for your favorite team in apology.

Wally: …thank you? Weren’t these expensive though? It’s the finals.

Dick: :)

Roy: Hey, Jaybird, did you get a new toolbox?

Jason: It has your name engraved on it.

Roy: I saw that.

Jason: Apology for when I forgot to lock the bedroom door when you asked, and Lian walked in on us

Roy: That was, like, a month ago? And I wasn’t even mad?

Jason: Engraving takes a long time.

Tim: To make up for missing our last date due to work, I made reservations and laid out outfits for both of you on the bed.

Bernard (in the bedroom with Kon): I don’t remember these being in our closet?

Kon: Since when did you have that necklace?

Bernard: And you those earrings? Shit, is that diamond?

Kon: Oh, I see what’s happening. Tim does this when he feels guilty.

Bernard: I hate rich people so much.

Damian: Hello.

Jon (jumping): Oh…hey? How did you get here? And when? I thought you said you were busy today and couldn’t hang out.

Damian: Irrelevant. I have a gift.

Jon: Oh my god! Is that a signed guitar?

Damian: …do you like it?

Jon: Yes, duh. But, how? Why? When?

Damian (climbing out the bedroom): Bye.

Clark (walking into Jon’s room): Oh, you and Damian made up?

Jon: WE WERE FIGHTING?

(Bonus SuperBat)

Clark (to his mom on the phone, walking into his Daily Planet office): Me and B were in a bit of a fight last night. Nothing big, but I feel bad about it. He slept in the guest room- holy shit.

Martha: What? You ok?

Clark: Yeah, yeah. I just walked into my office and…like everything’s been upgraded?

Martha: …what?”

Clark: There’s a really nice keyboard and computer and one of those fancy desk chairs and…oh. Hey, B.

Bruce (in the corner of the room): Good?

Clark: Uhhh…yes?

Bruce: :)

[manbanani]

Brucie Wayne comes out with his own cosmetic line.

When asked about it during an interview he responds, “Why let the girls have all the fun?” before winking at the camera, kissing some reporter on the cheek, and disappearing while the camera pans to the bright red lipstick mark.

His kids do the bulk of the promoting, sending out packages to people on youtube and tiktok and instagram. Tim has them all try out a few looks on their social medias. There are a few “collabs” that Bruce is grateful he doesn’t have to appear in.

The fan favorite of the promos is a youtube video called My Siblings Do My Makeup, which is just Tim subjecting himself to the chaos. Steph and Dick’s looks are as always, unfairly good. Jason goes for a drag look and Tim is happy to complete the makeover when Steph lends him an appropriate dress. Cass and Duke do well but they go for straightforward and not overly complicated. The video ends with Damian’s look, everyone sitting stunned. He hadn’t gone for the obvious troll they’d been expecting. In fact, Tim thought it might be his favorite look of the video. When pressed, all Damian would say on the subject is, “I have seen my Mother prepare for far more dignified outings than the galas you subject me to.”

It’s an absolute hit. Especially in Gotham, where people have frequent encounters with rogues that love leaving their victims with “reminders” that aren’t easy concealed. There are reddit pages dedicated to people suggesting the brand for covering up scars and other noticeable markings.

There is even a video, shaky and badly lit, of Nightwing shouting at Two Face during a rooftop pursuit asking if he’s tried out the sample he sent him. The video ends abruptly with some shouted curses punctuated with gunfire. The following morning, from a burner twitter account, was a single image of someone in a red helmet holding Harvey Dent for the camera, both sides of his face looking like he did just before the accident, although far angrier.

[manbanani]

the JL probably stopped thinking that Batman was the greatest detective in the world like, the minute that any of the batkids started getting involved in team missions. they get to watch the Robins run circles around Bruce consistently and without hesitation and i bet they wonder how the fuck they ever thought he was untouchable.

*during a world threatening, all hands on deck emergency*

Batman: everybody understand the plan?

Flash: we’re good to go, on your word.

Batman: then lets get on with it.

Robin, picking up his katana: agreed, let us engage the enemy. and also real quick before we do, i have to tell you that i got suspended from school for two weeks for slamming another student’s head into a table. alright, lets go.

Batman, visibly doing a doubletake: -woah wait hold on, Damian-

Red Robin, scornfull: seriously B? you’re gonna get distracted and let THOUSANDS of people die, because of that little tidbit? what, and now i guess you’re gonna freak out because i got a DUI a few days ago?

Batman: YOU GOT A DUI-?

Robin: father, honestly, priorities.

Batman: i- uh-

The rest of the league, exchanging blank looks:

*massive explosion*

Batman: um- OK WE HAVE TO GO BUT WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER-

*after the fight, ten hours later, everybody is exhausted and covered in blood and dust*

Batman, wrapping gauze around Robin’s wrist: i… feel like there was something i was going to say earlier. regarding you.

The league, watching the Robins stay completely silent:

Red Hood, without blinking: yeah old man, you promised us all that you’d buy pizza on the way back to Gotham.

Batman: …i don’t remember saying th-

Nightwing: fucking course you don’t. first you forget to tell me my little brother dies until after his funeral, now you forget to feed me. are you gonna forget to invite me over for game night, too?

Batman:

Robin: *silently making an ‘a-ok’ gesture behind Bruce’s back*

Batman: …right. yeah. that must have been it. we’ll get pizza ordered to the manor.

Superman, leaning over to Green Arrow: do you think he’ll be ok alone with them? they’re kinda mean

Green Arrow: no i knew that man in college. he brought this on himself.

[manbanani]

Dick Grayson sets Jon and Damian up, Completely accidentally.

So, years from now, Damian has finished his degree, med school, and is starting his residentancy. Jon is Superman, and his career as a science researcher is in full swing.

Both grew apart after Jon took up his fathers mantel, and Damian left crimefighting to pursue medicine. They are still friends, but nowhere near as close as they once were. ( Jon still listens to Damians' heartbeat every day, and Jon is one of the few people outside his family that Damian puts on the cape for now.)

Dick has been Jon's mentor for years, and he and Damian have only gotten closer as brothers (father and son) over the years. One day, after seeing Damian and Jon meet by chance, when Dick is injured and he makes Jon fly him to Damian to be patched up, Dick decides to get them to be best friends again.

Dick doesn't know why they grew apart, but they still seem fond of each other if the friendly greeting he witnessed is anything to go by. And both of them need more friends, each having been isolated by their responsibilities over the last few years.

So, he hatches a plan.

If they are going to be Best Friends again, they need to spend time together one on one. The few times he hung out with both of them at the same time, Jon and Damian tended to focus on him or a larger group activity.

So, Dick starts asking Jon to drop Damian over food or coffee after long shifts. Tells Superman how worried he is that Damian will overwork himself because he is doing so many extra hours in Peadatrics and the NICU. Jon happily agrees, armed by Damians' favourite vegan meals and a smile. Damian is confused at first but is so tired that he doesn't question why his childhood friend is suddenly feeding him a few times a week.

Next, Dick tells Damian about all the humanitarian work Jon is doing, and wouldn't it be so nice to go with him? The next time he heads off to refugee camp, Damian can come to provide free health care. Damian likes that idea immensely and asks Jon when he next shows up with food.

Jon and Damian start spending more time together, but only during times when they are too busy or exhausted to actually talk to one another. Neither have mentioned anything other than how tired and busy the other seemed.

So Dick enacts stage three and attempts to get them to actually hang out and relax together. Since they both desperately need it. So Dick asks them both to come over for pizza and movies at his place, and then just doesn't show up. Damian is always early and has a key to his apartment so he can let Jon in. The plan is foolproof.

He sends them a text 30 minutes after they were supposed to meet and tells them Barbara needs him for something, but go ahead and order the pizzas he will be there in a few hours.

After about four hours of celebrating his success and annoying Babs. Dick finally goes home to check on the besties.

What he did not expect was to find Jonathan Kent defiling his baby on his couch.

Some of their clothes are off and strewn around the space, and thank God all Dick sees is Jons naked back and Damian kissing him before he runs out of the room.

Only after he calls Babs in horror and she laughs in his face, does he gather the courage to confront them again.

When he enters the house this time, Jon and Damian are waiting for him, thankfully fully dressed.

Dick doesn't get a chance to speak before Damian is apologising for impropriety and looking like he did at ten when he didn't know how Dick was going to react to his mistakes. Jon takes his hand to settle his nerves, and it works.

Dicks feels like he fell down the rabbit hole.

"So, you two are a thing?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"Since I saw Damian save 10 children in Sudan a few weeks ago."

"Oh."

"Jon was good with them, comforting and gentle." Damian sounds dreamy in a way Dick has never heard before.

"Is it serious?"

"I love Damian, and I plan to marry him as soon as he will let me." Jon is so confident and serious when he says this, Dick almost doesn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.

"WHAT?!" The pair ignore him choking on his own spit. Rude.

"You do?"

"If you want?"

Damian nods and smiles. "We could go to vegas tomorrow?"

Jon smiles back so wide Dick is sure his face is going to split in two."Or we elope tonight?"

Damian kisses him before whispering yes against his lips

He then turns to his brother.

"Richard will be our witness!"

Dick doesn't know how he ends up in a chapel in Las Vegas at 3am,on a Tuesday, giving his baby brother away. But they look so happy Dick decides he doesn't care at the moment.

Damian had rings already, for some reason, and Jon and Damian get married in jeans and hastily thrown on shirts. All three of them cry at sappy spontaneous vows.

Afterwards, Jon thanks him for helping him realise he already knew the love of his life. Damian just hugs him tightly and says something in a language Dick doesn't know.

It occurred to Dick in that moment that Bruce was going to kill him. Probably after he killed Jon.

He can't even stage a shovel talk because this is all his own damn fault.

Barbara and Stephanie never let him live it down. (But they can suck it, Jon and Damian name their first kid after him and make him godfather.)

[manbanani]

it's about time

sequel-ish to this

[manbanani]

Some Marvel Rivals doodies and sillies (Don't solo heal as Adam eh eheh)

[manbanani]

season 4 spoilers 🤗

[manbanani]

tim needs to get on indeed dot com

[manbanani]

Bro things

[manbanani]

world's finest (tsas)

[manbanani]

Uh lesbians

[manbanani]

Another old one

[manbanani]

*The kitchen in Wayne Manor*

Clark, drinking a coffee: And then I was like, i don't need....

Jon walking in, not fully awake yet: Morning...

Clark: Morning? What are you doing here? You where supposed to be at kon's?

Kon walking in with Tim in tow: Well technically he is with me.

Wally sapping in to get something from the fridge: Wow, in what kind of family reunion did I stumble into here?

Roy, also there to get something to eat: I dunno man.

Bruce, appearing out of nowhere: The real question here is, why tf you all are at my house.

Alfred: It seems like the boys had a sleepover. Just like old times.

Roy: Hah, tell that to the hickeys on Jason's neck

[manbanani]

For future use

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four