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I am aware I have died on this hill before but people who really strenuously argue that fanfic isn't "real writing" drive me insane. what do you meeeaaaaannn. besides the fact that any attempt to define "real art" vs "fake art" is inherently reactionary, it just doesn't make any sense. it's Writing. people Write it. what the fuck are you talking about.

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EMMA (2020), dir. Autumn de Wilde

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I was just thinking about the fact Emma 2020 is clearly told from Emma’s protagonist-perspective but Mr Knightley is the one character whose pov you see indipendently from her (or when she can see him) since his first scene, so he essentially is treated as co-protagonist by the narrative. Even his yellow riding coat seems to be a nod to Emma’s own yellow ensemble but at the same time, it does place him in a co-lead role and there is even a parallel between Emma’s scene with Harriet and his own scene with Robert Martin. One is meddling in Harriet’s personal life manipulating her, the other is accidentally finding himself on the side of a Harriet/Robert supporter, lol.

Notice for example that the only scene Harriet gets that is just about her (meaning not something functional to Emma’s story or that Emma can see too) is the one in the end between her and Robert because it’s the moment she gets rid of Emma’s bad influence and makes her own choices following her own feelings, which signals her own character growth.  

For Mr Knightley it’s a bit on reverse because he has a different character arc: he starts as an independent character from Emma but as the story progresses, while he’s still independent, he also realizes how much he needs her and the thought of losing her brings him despair, and from that moment (the aftermath of the ball), everytime you see him again it’s about Emma. His character arc is about realizing how much being alone and independent isn’t enough for him anymore..everything he was sure of before is challenged, and he understands and admits he actually needs Emma more than he could have ever imagined when he met her. In fact, in the end it’s part of his independence he is willing to give up to be with the woman he loves. There is something foundamental Mr Knightley learns, and it’s also part of understanding Emma’s loneliness better than he ever did before.

A lot of things about Mr Knightley kind of represent an epiphany of sorts. There are phrases from the beginning that are foreshadowing of his own journey and his character arc. You could say he has to eat his own words too sometimes, lol. For instance, in his first scene with Emma he teases her about people crying at Miss Taylor’s wedding: in the end you see him moved to tears at his own wedding^. And of course there is the infamous “I want to see Emma in love and with some doubt of a return” that backfires so much 😂.

I think it’s a clever way to highlight his own character arc from the book too. In the novel, you think he’s very independent mostly at the beginning (*) but with time, you realize in retrospect how much he needed Emma and why he spent so much time with her and her father. He’s ok alone, he’s a dynamic, independent and kinda energic person, but Donwell is empty (love the movie shows how much it’s preserved but only his room is *home*. Cue the dust sheets covering the furniture in other rooms) and deep down a part of him longs for a companion, someone whom he can share his life with. He doesn’t realize that or admit it at first, in a way he thinks he’s independent and unaffected by some things but he realizes that he isn’t. Deep down he wanted to marry and have kids like his brother, and he could’ve easily found himself a wife but he was already in love with Emma without realizing it, somehow ‘waiting’ for her without knowing he was essentially doing that (it’s the same for her, they both subconsciously put their feelings away because they think the one person they really want isn’t interested about them that way). It’s the discovery of his own loneliness, and how much he loves and needs Emma, that helps him understand her and her own loneliness (that she compensated with the match making and trying to find a friend in Harriet after the loss of Miss Taylor) even better.  (*) (the beginning of the novel also coincides, for me, with the only time in the story where I do remember he’s older than her. By the time I get to the end, the more I realize he needs Emma and loves her, the more I forget about this aspect and he seems to be..younger. Funny enough, that’s also a moment in the story where Austen tells you that he comes across as young to Emma herself. The way she subtly hints that HE is the love interest is delightful btw.) 

I must say, Emma has a similar journey about romance and marriage.  At first, she thinks it isn’t for her and she tells herself that she doesn’t want to marry, when really the thing preventing her is mostly duty towards her father. I think a lot of people misunderstand her character to ostensibly try to make her a modern feminist heroine, which isn’t a bad thing per se but often it ends up erasing a good part of her own character arc and what still is a very important point. The thing is, Emma does have a romantic heart that she tries to express through match-making by finding a companion for her friends, because in that moment it’s the only way she feels she’s allowed to experience romance too. Emma thinks she’s free but she really isn’t, psychologically at least she is trapped in a cage where her father’s needs are the priority no matter what her heart wants or may want. This aspect is important because at the beginning of the story, she’s naive and an unreliable narrator of herself and her feelings. In the end, when her delusions shatter she realizes she isn’t as immune to some things as she thought she was, and she had always been in love with Mr Knightley. You could argue that it’s not so true Emma isn’t interested about romance or marriage… she is, with the man she loves. She simply isn’t ready at the beginning, nor she thinks she is allowed to have what she wants.  In fact, she does a 180° about the whole “I don’t want to get married” thing when he asks her to marry him, and she is pained by the idea that they wouldn’t be able to marry asap because of her father. You’d think it wouldn’t make a big difference for her either way given Mr Knightley would still be with them every day like be always was, and she could still preserve their routine that was so dear to her; but it’s not enough for her anymore. Acting as friends only isn’t enough anymore. That’s why she’s pained by the idea she may not be allowed to marry him asap: she longs to have a companion, to have an intimacy she wouldn’t be allowed to have with him without being married. And when he does find a perfect solution so they can be together, she’s conflicted about his sacrifice but also incandescently happy that they can marry sooner than she thought they’d be allowed to. The point is, part of Emma’s coming of age arc is discovering her own sexual agency too, and the fact she finds herself wanting things she didn’t think she even wanted before. Austen is subtle like you’d expect her to be in context but that’s what she implies in the end, in the most dignified way sure but she does that in the way Emma’s feelings about marriage completely change when she knows she’s in love and he loves her back.

It’s also interesting to notice that, in a way, just like Mr Knightley understands some things about Emma better in the end when he discovers his own vulnerabilities, Emma also does start to fully understand and respect Harriet’s feelings for Robert and his for her only when she herself realizes her own love for Mr Knightley, and thus she understands that marriage isn’t necessarily just a matter of convenience like she thought it was. 

(ps: I headcanon Emma as demisexual/demiromantic, btw. I feel like a lot of things about her make even more sense when you think that beside the lack of experience, she is someone who needs to be in love and share a strong bond with a person to fully understand and want some things. The moment at the ball when she’s dancing with Frank but she’s completely distracted by how attractive she finds Mr Knightley is one of my favorites. She’s generically able to appreciate people’s beauty from an aesthetic perspective such as noticing someone has pretty eyes or hair etc, but when it comes to real attraction Austen is all about Emma finding Mr Knightley hot because it’s him, not really because he has this or that physical feature she finds pretty.)

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My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

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#the Loki hands on hips pose

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I have finished rewatching Civil War.

This isn't exactly a movie I go back and watch for fun, which is why I put it off for so long on my Marvel rewatch, but it was actually so refreshing to be reminded of "Oh yeah, this is the fandom I love." With Phase 4-5 feeling so disjointed I forgot how wonderful it was to see not only so many heroes on screen, but also all of them living distinct lives and having reasons and motives to be there, which is why I love writing in the post-Civil War era so so much.

Anyway, here are some aspects of Civil War I feel like the fandom has forgotten about (myself included):

The big one is that this movie really isn't all just Steve trying to rescue Bucky. I understand why we latched onto that, and that's definitely a huge motive for Steve. BUT - the core plot point of this movie is that Steve thinks Zemo is trying to activate an entire deadly team of Winter Soldiers, he thinks the Accords are going to stop Tony & co from helping, so he assembles every non-Accords Avenger he can find to go stop Zemo and the super-soldiers.

Even the airport fight is mostly about this. The other members of Team Cap give themselves up because they think the world is in danger and they don't trust the Accords to allow the Avengers to help stop it in time. So they put their faith in Steve instead.

Tony and Natasha recruit everyone they can to try and bring Steve in because the alternative Ross proposes to them is a squad that will shoot on sight, and straight out says they will kill Steve if he 'provokes' them (which of course Steve will, he's Steve). T'Challa is there for revenge but the other Team Iron Man members are there, including Tony, to prevent bloodshed.

Natasha and T'Challa have a full-on friendship arc in this movie

Tony's instructions to Peter at the airport were to "keep your distance and web them up", Peter was never actually meant to get involved in any fighting

Tony is fully under the belief at the airport that Bucky committed the UN bombing and murdered people, he hasn't been given any reason to think otherwise (Steve and Sam know it wasn't Bucky at this point so the audience does too, but Tony doesn't).

While Tony doesn't listen to Steve at the airport, he immediately realizes he was wrong when the psychiatrist Zemo killed is found. When FRIDAY tells him Bucky was innocent of the bombing, he admits he was wrong and tries to give that info to Ross, only for Ross to do nothing. Which is when Tony goes to Siberia, as a friend, with the intent to help Steve stop the super-soldiers

For all the reasons Tony proposes for the Accords, he breaks them the second they become inconvenient to him helping a friend/saving the world (when he still thinks the super-soldiers are a real threat)

During that last fight, Bucky is desperately trying to just run and Steve is trying to help him, they only properly start to fight Tony after Tony pretty much destroys Bucky's escape route and locks them in with him. Both Bucky and Steve's objectives are to take out the suit, not kill Tony, and they both target the arc reactor.

The "locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't" line from Steve's voiceover is place right over Ross calling Tony for urgent assistance with Steve breaking into the Raft. This is almost definitely meant to be interpreted as Tony knowing what is happening at the Raft and choosing to let Steve break their friends out

Final thought:

11 Please bring back Marvel properties that feel grounded, don't feel the need to tell a million jokes a minute, and are happy to bring in big characters for just a few scenes to make the world feel real and lived in

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How does Darcy usually act?

Well it’s really hard to know isn’t it? Because there is only like one whole scene where he isn’t in love with Elizabeth, the Assembly Ball, and there he is a total jerk. The next time we see him, he’s starting to get interested in Elizabeth and his strategy is Listen to Her Talk to Other People and Stare At Her, which is you know, interesting. But people in love are a little nuts, Darcy especially because he’s struggling AGAINST the love.

At Netherfield we see some epic battles of intellect against Elizabeth and Darcy try to be gallant once or twice, but then he does a 180 because he’s getting too bewitched so he decides to just stop talking to her altogether until she gets out of the house. Interestingly, his friends never say he’s acting weird. Then he dances with Elizabeth and flees to London.

Then we have Hunsford, which is Am I Really Going to Jump Into This Frozen Lake? Darcy. He keeps going to the parsonage to see Elizabeth, but doesn’t say anything, probably because he’s finally decided to propose and the enormity of his resolve is overtaking him. He does some capital testing of the waters, “Well, you wouldn’t mind living far from home, right? Wink wink?”  Charlotte doesn’t know what to make of him and Colonel Fitzwilliam says he’s acting crazy, which means this isn’t Normal Darcy (whatever that is), this is LOVE Darcy, but also a Darcy who feels the need to tell his prospective wife how gross her family is…

Then we have Pemberley Darcy, who is very polite to the Gardiners and who invites Bingley and Georgiana to go see Elizabeth, but barely talks during the meeting. By now, however, Elizabeth has turned into an Awkward Love Turtle and has trouble talking to him, “Hey, I showed up at your house… opps.” So it’s not like two way conversation is even really possible at this point. Then the letter arrives and Darcy SWEARS! And says some very nice words of comfort before he rides off to save Lydia.

Now we have Darcy: The Returning where he goes to Longbourn with Bingley and, you guessed it, doesn’t say a whole lot. But at this point both him and Elizabeth are trying to read each other’s minds without much success and they are both Super Awkward Love Turtles until Lady Catherine yells them into knowing each other’s minds and they get engaged.

Then Darcy says A LOT about how great he’s gotten at introspection and Elizabeth starts teasing him, which he mostly answers in earnest. He is still pretty quiet around her family, which makes sense because how does anyone get a word in edgewise and then Elizabeth tells us he still needs to learn to laugh at himself.

So anyway, the real problem is that Colonel Fitzwilliam didn’t reply back to Elizabeth by telling us what Darcy is really like, because he’s spending the whole book going through a rollercoaster of love and not wanting to be in love and then giving into love and then trying to get a second chance at love and he’s never just having a normal day.

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some of the main men in the Aliverse

Adam: I want her to know that I care and I’ll do it from afar if I have too

Levi: I am untterly in love with her

Jack: gurl who broke you

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Someone on here made a great post about how Cassandra Brand is a clear reference to Greek mythologys Cassandra, a priestess who was doomed to only tell true prophecies but never be believed. Cassandra obviously warns Miles and her friends about what his new miracle fuel will do and is entirely disregarded.

I read this post and was like "oh that's so smart, you're so right." And then like, went on with whatever I was doing.

And then that night I'm laying in bed and my eyes snap open and my brain is like "her sister was HELEN."

Cassandra forsaw the fall of Troy and was not believed.

Helen caused the fall of Troy.

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okay tumblr’s exclusion from the twitter social media ban list is hilarious but genuinely we do not belong on there. if a real human person asks “where can i find you on social media” and your choice is a swift death or revealing your tumblr, most of us would simply expire. half of y’all change urls every week like you’re in witness protection. just imagine for one second attaching your wholeass government name to your latest two am clownposting and tell me that didn’t send a cold chill down your spine. the only place i ever want to see the words “connect with me on tumblr!” is on the ao3 profile of an author i’m actively stalking. anyone in the world can follow me except anyone i personally know. antisocial media.

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You know the problem with reading a book? You get hooked and then it ends and you feel sad

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All three sons of the Big Three have got their memories wiped once in their lives. Only Percy fully gained it back. Huh.

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oil paintings by Leah Gardner

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SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN TOP GUN: MAVERICK!!!!!!!!!

Did anyone else notice when Rooster says “talk to me dad” and then like two seconds after Maverick is talking to him and reassuring him. Cause Maverick said “I tried to be the father that he lost” OHMYGOD

Also Val Kilmer (Iceman) making a cameo and talking even though he has throat cancer. I cried!

Also this movie reawakened my miles teller crush and I was surprised cause Im picky with my mustaches but damn

Also Rooster being his call sign and his dad’s being Goose.

Amazing casting nad acting from everyone

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Maverick saying ‘come on sweetheart just a little bit more’ will live in my head rent free for the rest of my days

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oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years