maniacalfarmer

[maniacalfarmer]

Can I request pre-relationship and pining Shane? I feel like that man LONGS and I need to see that. Possibly some angst too or miscommunications. And for possible NSFW, his best friend is totally his hand 😼

Ding dong

Here's the longing you ordered

I threw in a side of yearning and a little self-deprecation dipping sauce.

Enjoy, and don't forget to tip your driver!

Title: Pepper Problems

Pairing: Shane x fem!reader

Word Count: 2580

Rating: Explicit, just to be safe. 18+ only, if you would be so kind.

Tags and story under the cut

Tags: yearning masturbation, fantasized oral sex, fantasized rough sex, sad sack Shane

As a rule, Shane tried not to want things.

When you wanted things, you resigned yourself to one of two eventualities. You either didn’t get what you wanted, or you got it for a while and then it turned to shit.

Better to live with what you had.

Then the new farmer moved in, and Shane found himself breaking his own rules.

He watched her as he slouched at the bar. She was making her rounds, like she did a couple times a week. She liked to give gifts, smiling and laughing, a kind word for everyone she encountered.

She remembered names.

She remembered stories.

She was a ray of fucking sunshine.

It rankled.

“Brought you some peppers,” she said, handing him a bag with a smile. “Heard you liked them.”

They were beautiful, shockingly red in the clear plastic bag. He could tell just by looking at them that they’d taste delicious - a firm bite, spicy with a slight bit of sweetness beneath them.

He wanted to smile. Wanted to thank her. Wanted to bask, for a bit, in her sunshine. To photosynthesize, to unfurl, to become green and bright.

But there was a limited amount of good that could be in Shane’s life at a time. He’d learned not to push things. The farmer, with her bright eyes and pretty smile, was far too much good to fit.

So he’d let a look of disgust cross his face. “You got the wrong guy.”

It felt right, the way shame washed over him as her face fell. Shame he had space for. His capacity for it was limitless.

“Well, what do you like?” she’d asked. 

“Being left the fuck alone.” 

And that should have been that.

————

Of course it wasn’t.

Of course the farmer started showing up even more. 

Not to see him, but she seemed to have made friends with Emily… along with everyone else in the fucking town.

They loved her, and who could blame them? 

He kept his head down, listened to her voice. It changed depending on who she was talking to. Sardonic when joking with Emily. Respectful when Louis leaned against the bar. Light and a little flirty when that writer guy was there.

They’d make a good pair. Shane imagined it as he stared at his glass. Imagined the way the writer would touch her, all slow and gentle probably. Kiss her knuckles, say something romantic. Undress her slowly, respectfully.

Not like Shane would. Not like he wanted to. Fast and rough, buttons flying, thin cotton ripping in his haste to get to her, to find the warm skin underneath, to grab, to bury his nose and mouth into every inch of her, to breathe in and feel her surrounding him, overwhelming and sweet and -

“Hey Em, can I get another?” He gestured to his glass, trying to stop the train of thought before it could pull any further out of the station. 

“Pickles.” The farmer was looking at him. She was speaking to him. The words didn’t make sense, though.

He hadn’t had that much to drink, had he?

“Do you like them?” She was waiting for an answer.

“Fuck no.” It was honest, at least.

“Hmmmmm…” She seemed to be making a list in her mind. “No peppers. No pickles. Berries?”

“Beer,” Shane said, as Emily set another drink down. “And silence.”

“Got it,” the farmer said, and turned back to whoever else was there. The doctor guy. Harold or Hector or whatever the fuck his name was. Her voice was slower when she spoke with him. She seemed to weigh her words more carefully.

Shane wasn’t sure what she sounded like when she spoke with him. He was too wrapped up in his own response. 

Her eyes met his. Squinted. Seemed to weigh his glance.

He’d been staring.

He quickly looked down at his glass, and didn’t look up again until she left.

———————

The days were always the same. Wake up with a headache and a sour stomach. Summon a gentle word or two for Jas as he left for work (“have a good day, Peanut”). Move through his tasks. Try not to let his disdain for his boss show. Try not to take out his frustration on Sam (the kid was alright, another one of those rays of sunshine. How did they keep finding him?). Suffer until work was done. Tell himself he was going to go right back to the ranch to make dinner for Jas and read her a bedtime story. Fail to do that. Sit at the bar instead, basting in uselessness and self-disgust.

The pattern was grinding, but at least it was predictable.

Unless the farmer showed up.

She changed the gravity of the saloon. Something tipped sideways whenever she walked in. 

She kept trying to give him things.

Why did she do that?

“Sunflowers?” She had a bouquet in her hand.

“What the fuck would I do with those?”

She considered. “I heard they’re pretty good roasted.”

“What, like in an oven?” Shane was curious despite himself.

“I think? I mean, sunflower seeds are good, right? So I think it’d be like a big mouthful of them?” She examined the flowers. They looked bright and cheerful. Just like her.

Her hair was loose that day. She usually wore it pulled back.

Not that he kept track of that sort of thing.

“Ooooh, my sister loves those!” Emily was admiring the flowers, and the farmer’s attention left him. 

That was okay. It let him watch.

She leaned against the bar, showing off the flowers. So fucking cute, that farmer, all happy and proud. 

Would she have looked at him like that if he’d taken the peppers?

He took a long drink.

The way she was leaning stretched her back out long. A thin strip of skin was bare between her pants and shirt. He imagined running his mouth up the length of her spine, skin all smooth and soft. Imagined holding onto her hips, sinking his fingers into the soft flesh there, moving her back against him.

He shifted and took another drink. 

The farmer had one too now. Same beer as him. Must have been a long day. She usually had a beer after a long day. Less intense ones usually ended with wine or a cocktail. She’d been doing gin and tonics lately.

Not that he was paying attention.

She would sip at her drink, talk with whoever was nearby. It was incredible, the way she could strike up a conversation with anyone. He was never able to do that. Three words in and he was doubting himself. 

His eyes flicked to her breasts as she leaned forward to laugh at something Emily said. A quick glance. Just enough to see the way the bar pushed her up, gentle curves mounding above her neckline. He thought about pressing his mouth there, scraping his teeth against her skin. Grabbing at her breasts, pushing them together. Would she let him fuck them? What would they feel like, surrounding his cock?

Probably really fucking good.

The writer guy wouldn’t treat her like that.

He took a drink.

His glass was empty. 

“Hey, Em?” 

“Yep.” Emily was moving, refilling his glass.

“This one’s on me,” the farmer said. “Since it’s the only thing you like.”

“He likes peppers too,” Emily said, setting his glass down.

The farmer made a squawking sound. It was adorable. “I tried to give him peppers but he turned them down!”

“That’s because he’s very stupid,” Emily said evenly.

Shane raised his glass in agreement. His stomach was turning, shame filling up the corners. 

He shouldn’t care about getting caught in a lie.

It shouldn’t matter.

The farmer was switching seats, coming over to sit next to him.

“No,” he said flatly as she settled in.

“I bought you a beer, the least you could do is give me a complete sentence.” She was leaning on her elbow as she said it, body starting to soften. It usually did when she was more than halfway through her drink.

“No is a complete sentence.”

“Do you like peppers or not?” There was no sunshine in her voice when she spoke to him, he realized. There was a gentle directness, though, that made him feel entirely off balance.

“Does it matter?” He focused on his drink, and not the way her cheek looked so soft as it settled into her hand.

He wanted to be her hand.

“Yes,” she said simply. “So answer the question.”

Shane sighed. Studied his glass. There was a small chip on the rim. 

“Yeah, I like peppers.”

The farmer made a satisfied sound. Shane risked a glance at her. She was smiling, but not the big sunshiney one. It was smaller. Controlled. 

Sincere.

It felt like being let in on a secret.

“I have more. I’ll bring them tomorrow.” It wasn’t a discussion.

Shane wondered how much of her sunshine was an act.

“Don’t… don’t just… I don’t need your fucking peppers.”

“Well, what do you need?” Her gaze was level. 

Shane looked at his glass again. Spun it around with his fingertips. “Nothing from you,” he finally said.

Something in the farmer seemed to deflate. Shame boiled again, but then he realized he hadn’t punctured her. He’d relieved her. Taken some burden off her shoulders he hadn’t realized she carried.

“Thank Yoba,” she laughed, then took a long drink. “I swear I need a different personality for every person here.”

Shane made a quiet sound of acknowledgement. 

The farmer didn’t say anything else.

They sat together in silence, finishing their drinks.

It was nice. 

It was really, really fucking nice.

Shane began to realize he was doomed.

——————

The farmer pushed at the edges of Shane’s mind, a persistent pressure that fogged him over whenever he let his guard down.

Stocking cans of string beans? She was leaning over him, checking the nutrition label.

Walking over the bridge? She was sitting on the side, smiling that controlled little smile.

Watching a snack spin round in the microwave? She was behind him, talking to Jas, fitting into his life in a way that made him ache.

So he tried not to think about her.

It almost worked, except for when she was there at the saloon.

Laughing. Talking. Giving. Smiling.

And then he couldn’t not think about her. Couldn’t not acknowledge her. Couldn’t not follow her down whatever conversational path she wandered onto.

“It’s disgusting.” A flat refusal.

“She’s right.” Emily backed her up.

And Yoba help him, he was drawn in. “Get a more adventurous palate.”

“Pineapple on pizza isn’t adventurous. It’s blasphemy.” 

She was on her second beer now, body loose and leaning in a way that made him want to move, to press her back against the bar and see just how pliant she could be. 

He bet he could make her real pliant.

“It’s the contrast,” he tried to explain. He was on… was it drink five? They all started to blur together after a while. “The sweet and juice against the salty and chewy from the ham. They have to go together.”

“Yeah, in the fucking garbage.” There was a teasing brightness in her eyes. 

“Philistine,” he said. 

The farmer laughed.

That felt really, really good.

He took a gulping drink. 

The sound of her laughter followed him home.

Stumbling into his room, he heard it.

Shucking his pants, his jacket. Falling into bed. It surrounded him.

He’d made her laugh. Made her look surprised, happy. Made light come into her eyes.

He gave her something.

It was so good.

But there was so little room for good in his life.

There was no way to make her fit.

His mind spiraled. 

Her laugh. 

Her smile.

Her face.

Her hair.

Her body.

That, at least, was a safe enough place to let his mind rest. 

It didn’t hurt so much, to parse it in terms of sex. To fantasize and want. Darker and harder than her laugh and her smile.

The farmer, spread out beneath him.

Soft and giving.

He could grab at her, see the way her body molded to his hands. Feel her give way to him.

His hand found his cock.

What would she sound like, if he pressed at her breast with harsh fingers? Would she whimper? Cry out? Would she love it?

(yeah she’d love it she’d love it so fucking much, arch her back up into his hands and keen and moan and beg for more, fucking beg for his hands on her and…)

Her smile. Her fucking smile. That mouth and those lips and that tongue. Soft, had to be soft, would feel so good wrapped around his cock, sucking, taking him as he thrust down into her throat.

(she’d take it so good, he knew it, knew she’d groan around him and look up at him with those pretty eyes, tears at the corners while he grabbed at her hair, moved her head, made her choke on him and the whole time she’d keep those eyes on him, asking him for more…)

The tension in his body started to coil.

He worked himself faster.

Fast, like he’d move inside her. Put her on her hands and knees. Press a hand down hard on the small of her back, make her arch. Or, no, hips, those hips, that softness giving way to his fingers as he pulled her back. 

(she’d move, he’d make her move, make her tighten and gasp and shake, make her fingers claw at the blanket, the one that was under him right now, make her bite at the bedspread to keep from screaming, because he’d pull her in just right, just the way she needed [he knew she needed it, he knew, he knew he could give her just what she fucking needed], and she’d tense and tighten and tremble and squeeze and come and come and come and when she was done he’d make her do it again, just keep her there under him, around him, her hair and her neck and her eyes and her smile, smiling back at him as he pushed in hard and deep and…)

He came, a weak, unsatisfying thing.

He pressed a hand over her face.

He could still hear her laughing.

He wanted to hear her laugh.

What the fuck did he do now?

——————

That night the farmer had a bag with her.

A jar of pickles, for the doctor.

A bundle of wool, for Emily.

A bottle of wine, split between the writer and that chick who moved in near the ranch.

A bright, round orange for Gus.

Smiles all around, given and returned.

Nothing for him.

“On a scale of one to ten, how grouchy are you today?” She settled in next to him with a drink.

Shane didn't say anything, just shot her a tired look.

“Me too,” she said, and smiled. Controlled. Real.

“Wanna split some pepper poppers?” He’d said it without planning to, without thinking.

“Nah, I hate peppers.” She rested her head on her hand.

“Noted.”

He wanted to be her hand.

He wanted.

As a rule, Shane tried not to want things.

But some part of him, a traitorous vine, kept reaching for her light. And as they sat there in silence, a heaviness settled in.

There was no way this didn’t end in pain.

Sometimes it was better to cut things off before they’d had a chance to begin.

[maniacalfarmer]

I’m seriously obsessed @sunshinecovey 🫠

[maniacalfarmer]

[maniacalfarmer]

Yet again a Sketchpage Commission for FoxofSpades!

[maniacalfarmer]

Stardew Valley bachelors - NSFW Headcanons - part I

Alex

Despite what everyone might think, he’s a bit inexperienced.

He only had sex once before—with a girl he met during gridball practice.

It was in the locker room.

He was so nervous and didn’t enjoy it overall, so he decided not to do it again.

He probably feels guilty too because his granny told him he should do it with the person he intends to marry (or at least someone who truly means a lot to him).

So, it will take a while for him to be intimate with you.

But when it happens, it means he really loves you.

You might not get married, but he knows he wants to actually try and fight for your relationship to last as long as possible.

He’s very passionate.

A bit cautious at first, but over time, he becomes a gentle dom.

He LOVES to manhandle you—but always with care.

Loves to pamper you and praise you:

"Fuck, baby, you take me so well..."

Always wants to cuddle afterward.

So, he hates quickies.

"If we don't have time to cuddle, we don't have time to fuck properly, y'know?"

But he’d never admit it out loud.

He just wants to feel loved.

Always carries condoms with him—he ain’t risking a baby until you’re both ready.

Also panics when your period is late.

100% responsible king.

Shane

Oh, boy, let me tell you—this man IS experienced.

Back in his glory days, he had a lot of flings and relationships.

So yes, he knows his way around.

He wasn’t very horny before he met you.

But then you appeared like a beam of light, and suddenly, his life had meaning again.

It also helps that he thinks you’re hot as fuck.

Sex with Shane? Filthy.

He’d dom you hard… if he wasn’t so lazy.

So that being said—ride him, pls.

On the bed, on the couch, on the chair—doesn’t matter.

Get on top of him, and he won’t complain.

His hands still grip your hips, tho, guiding you up and down his cock.

Smokes while having sex.

Sometimes, he gets bored and starts thrusting up into you, your whines only making him go harder as he keeps you in place.

Not a fan of condoms.

"You know what else is 99% safe? My pull-out game."

But if you feel safer with a condom, he won’t tell you no.

Might jokingly complain about it, tho.

"I feel insulted, I really do!"

Secretly likes that he gets to finish inside and not worry.

Lowkey has a breeding kink.

He loves kids a lot and sometimes imagines a mini version of you running around.

But then post-nut clarity hits, and he realizes he can barely take care of himself, so a child is a big no-no.

However… if you’re on the pill and he can safely creampie you?

He’s officially dead and in heaven.

Sam

Before you did it, he told you things so filthy that you thought he was secretly a porn star.

All bark, no bite, though.

This boy? Never touched someone else before.

Probably the main reason he wanted to start a band was because he thought he’d pull.

Very shy at first.

Doesn’t even know where to put his hands.

But he learns fast.

And he wants to practice… a lot.

This boy is horny.

Like… all the time.

It’s not his fault you’re hot and that he wants to die between your thighs.

Obsessed with your body.

Prepare to have him teleport next to you whenever you change your clothes.

Loves to eat you out.

Ride his face, pls.

Tried to dirty talk once…

Cringed so hard he decided never to do it again.

But he likes to make you laugh tho.

Claims he can feel it when he's inside.

Clingy after sex.

He just wants to hold you, nuzzle into your neck, and stay there forever.

Always down for round two (or three.... or four...).

Even if he’s tired, he will try.

Sometimes he gets so into it he forgets to pull out.

(Yes, he panics after.)

[maniacalfarmer]

[maniacalfarmer]

he just needs to be reminded that he’s doing a good job ok

[maniacalfarmer]

:c

[maniacalfarmer]

my vibe if u even care

[maniacalfarmer]

Thinking Shane Thoughts.. as per usual~

Accidental "I love yous" with my hubby wubby ♡

°•○....○•°

You're just a fling. A one night stand turned into countless evenings. A thing to help him unwind, check his temper and just let loose. Heck, Shane doesn't even know if he could call you 'friends with benefits' cause Yoba knows if you were even his friend in the first place.

But God. Look at you.

Look at you with those gorgeous tits bouncing with every thrust of his hips, the skin of your thighs rippling after every clap of his own. Plap, plap, plap against that puffy little pussy, droolin' for him, suckin' him in, taking the chubby swell of his cock so sweetly- it was enough to make a grown man bawl.

He was already babbling those dirty degrading words. Dumb and stupid on his cock, yeah? Takin' him in so nicely? It's all you're good for, Huh. Take it. Fucken take it.

He couldn't help it, really- the words just slipped out of his mouth, drooled off of his tongue all choked and gravelly. With clenched molars and a quick, heavy few fucks into your cunt his throat dares to utter a filthy "I. Fucken'. Love. You." Gritty and hissed between his teeth, punctuated with his hips.

Yoba- He has to save himself, spew out a few more praises to cover his ass; Love this cunt, love that stupid face, love how you take his cock- But he can't.

Not when you whine and squeak like that, legs wrapped snugly around his hips, thighs squishing tighter than before, ankles locked on his back. Not when your arms loops around his neck, or when your nails dig and scratch lovingly into his hair- Yoba, twirling and tugging, petting, caressing. Especially not when you pull him down into a sloppy kiss, whimpering babbling 'Love You toos- Love you mores' into his lips while your hips hump pathetically back into his bullying thrusts.

Fuck.

He loves you so much.

[maniacalfarmer]

Req - Asking the Stardew Valley Bachelors For a Picture of Their Eye [With Visuals] .•°Including : Sebastian | Sam | Alex | Shane | Harvey | Elliott •·········°············•♡•············°·········•

[maniacalfarmer]

♡ Accidentally Confessing to the Stardew Valley Bachelors ♡

.•°Including : Sebastian | Sam | Alex | Shane | Harvey | Elliott

•·········°············•♡•············°·········•

•·········°············•♡•············°·········•

[maniacalfarmer]

♡ Asking the Stardew Valley Bachelors for Hand Pics [with visuals] ♡

.•°Including : Sebastian | Sam | Alex | Shane | Harvey | Elliott

•·········°············•♡•············°·········•

•·········°············•♡•············°·········•

let me know if you like the visuals ^^ I had fun searching around for pictures ♡ If I do continue with visuals of people I'm going to stick with the bachelors to keep things inclusive :]

[maniacalfarmer]

So I'm already a Shane lover. You had me hooked with bear Shane completely but dragon Shane? So even before this I've had a thing for dragons, like beautiful intelligent rich massive creatures who live in abandoned castles or what not.

Dragon Shane who hoards soft things. Pillows, blankets, feathers, chickens, hoodies. So of course when a chubby and warm farmer comes, he needs to add them to his collection.

Dragon Shane who is either very warm from the fire brewing in him or very cold because of his reptilian nature.

Dragon Shane with a long forked tongue

Dragon Shane with claws he tries to desperately not to poke you with.

Ahfianfh, I love Shane, I love dragons. I could probably make so much more

Dragon Shane would always make sure you're happy, comfy and fed ♡

So very gracious to share his hoard with you, unwilling to let you lift a single finger for anything- Yoba knows that's his dream, to sit and lay the day away~ Eat, sleep, mate and repeat.

He'd be so clingy, in your nest whenever he can be, kept nice in his lap, thick tail slowly waving side to side in a happy wag while sinking you down on his girth. I'm sure he'd rumble a Pur, the sound slowly turning into low and slow snores. So warm, so cuddly, so connected like this.

Outside of his Rut cycle he runs quite cold, so he's oh so happy to have you here to warm him up, your skin softer than his, tacky with a sheen of sweat as he takes you - Especially during the winter time, a fire not enough to satisfy him.

After a rut he dares to murmur a soft apology, rasped with his rough voice, tongue licking at the biting teeth marks and stingy scratches he'd left behind in his haste. As an apology he treats you back, for helping him out so, so well.

His sleepy eyes would look up at you from between your legs, long, forked tongue working his magic, pulling the sweetest, wettest pleasures up from you.

He feeds you, pampers you, ruffles your hair before he presses a wet kiss to your cheek, coming out from his hoard to provide for you. You need strength after all, need to eat, be soft and strong enough to carry his brood ♡

He probably snatched you up from the woods and took you back to his cave hehe

Dragon and Hybrid form.. Very well fed, a healthy amount of chub on his body. Thick tail, maybe even horns too? Huahhh

[maniacalfarmer]

Shane Headcanon

Do you think Stardrop Tea would taste different to Shane during/after his recovery?

I’ve never given him a Stardrop Tea, but his dialogue is apparently, “Heh… thanks. Tastes just like beer.” I don’t believe he would ever fully stop drinking (as shown by his spouse room, and the fact that he still likes beer as a gift), but I believe he learns to moderate it. At the beginning of the game, alcohol was one of the only things that kept him going, but it eventually becomes an occasional indulgence to help him unwind. He’s not reliant on it to feel alive anymore.

With that in mind, I think it would be cool/interesting to see his dialogue change if given a Stardrop Tea after that stage. Some dialogue changes I thought of:

“Wow… this tastes so much better than it used to. Thanks, (Name).”

“You know… drinking this kinda reminds me of you. This warm feeling that I get… I dunno, is that too cheesy?”

“This makes me think of good times. Spending time with Jas and Marnie, the chickens… I appreciate it, (Name). Thank you.”

[maniacalfarmer]

guys its anatomy practice its anatomy practice guys cmon you gotta believe me i swear this got nothing to do with my ovulation-

or, a thinly veiled excuse to draw shane stardew valley as God intended- chubby and hairy with fat fucking tits

[maniacalfarmer]

Shane when he’s drawn bigger and pudgier will always be infinitely more attractive to me than people drawing him as a skinny twink. That man is a recovering alcoholic. That man is in his early to mid 30s. That man does work on the farm, helping out with the chickens. That man has a dad bod. DRAW THAT MAN PUDGY, PLEASE.