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“I love the tune of this song but hate the gross lyrics. What should I do?”

“But I like both old and new songs”

“I also like polka?”

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OC ft crying

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Stephen Colbert and Stephen King holding hands in matching sweaters.

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Wheel of the year Thanks for the help, dear satanuwka

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Quick Guide to Celebrating the Sabbats 🌻

LITHA

🧀Fruit & veg, herbed bread, cheese, honey cakes, chicken, pork, sunflower seeds, lemonade, ice tea.

🍋Lemon, orange, cinnamon, rose oils.

🔮Moonstone, tigers eye, amethyst, flourite, agate. {Or any crystals in warm colours}.

🌞See the sun rise & set, eat outdoors, make or buy a sun catcher, bake a sweet cake, let sunlight cleanse your rooms, clear cobwebs, wear a flower crown, make honey/sugar scrub, wear warm tones.

🎬Peter Pan, Fairy Tale, Ferngully, Stardust, Tinkerbell, Maleficent.

LAMMAS

🌽Multi grain bread, corn on the cob, bbq meats, fried chicken, potatoes, soup, rice, nuts, black current juice, beer, peppermint tea.

🌹Rose, chamomile, passion fruit, all spice oils/scents.

🔮Citrine, clear quartz, tigers eye.

📖Finish a project, make a bread to share, enjoy nature, take care of plants, decorate or craft, acknowledge what you are grateful for, journal future hopes.

🎬Parent Trap, Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, Cheaper by the Dozen.

MABON

🍇Pies, nuts, smoked or roast poultry [bbq chicken with smoky bbq sauce], soup, corn, apples, plums, grapes, cinnamon donuts, caramel popcorn, peanut butter, butterscotch.

🌲Sage, pine, cinnamon oils/scents.

🔮Amethyst, clear quartz, citrine, yellow agate.

🌾Make scented pinecones, spend time under the stars, donate food or goods [RSPCA], burn bad habits, visit the deceased, harvest take care of plants, bask in nature, meditate.

🎬Open Season, Brother Bear, Spirit, Pocahontas, Brave.

SAMHAIN

🎃Pumpkins, toffee apples, ginger bread, chai, nutmeg or cinnamon spiced foods, hazelnuts, sweets.

🌰Nutmeg, cinnamon scents.

🔮Obsidian, onyx, bloodstone, amber, fossils.

🕯Cook a family recipe, light a fire, remember & honour the deceased.

🎬Hocus Pocus, Addams Family, Monsters Inc, Little Vampire, Corpse Bride, Casper, Hansel Gretel Witch Hunters, Underworld, Van Helsing.

YULE

🍪Cookies, fruit cake, turkey, eggnog, ginger tea.

🕎Cedar, frankincense, myrrh oils.

🔮Bloodstone, citrine, clear quartz.

❄Give or volunteer, bake shortbread or sugar cookies, share a meal with loved ones.

🎬Santa Clause, Rise of the Guardians, 101 Dalmatians, Frozen, Snow White Winters War, Narnia.

IMBOLC

🍩Poppy seeds, pumpkin seeds, bread butter pudding, scones, muffins, garlic, onions.

☕Vanilla, cinnamon oil.

🔮Amethyst, bloodstone, onyx.

🕯Light white candles, plant seeds, bless your pets, declutter & clean your living space, bake orange and poppy seed muffins or cake.

🎬Mr Poppers Penguins, Happy Feet, Balto, Ice Age, Mirror Mirror.

OSTARA

🍌Roast ham & pineapple, eggs, milk, seeds & nuts, banana bread, chocolate milk, green vegetables.

🌹Jasmine, light florals, sweet garden, wild flowers.

🔮Amethyst, rose quartz, moonstone.

🌹Light candles, plant seeds, share a roast ham with loved ones, bake banana bread, finish spring cleaning, lay tumbled stones in your garden bed, take deep breaths [inhale new energy & exhale old energies], wear spring colours whites & florals, collect wildflowers or buy flowers that call to you & research what they mean, walk through nature.

🎬Epic, Strange Magic, The Secret Garden, Spiderwick, A Bugs Life, Barbie Fairies.

BELTANE

🍞Breads, cakes, honey, leafy greens, fruit & veg, seafood, iced tea, lemonade, milk.

🌼Florals, sweet garden, honeysuckle, jasmine, rose.

🔮Amber, citrine, moonstone, red jasper, rose quartz.

🌼Wear a flower crown or flowers in your hair, dress in red or white, make a bonfire & roast marshmallows, garden, take a walk, spend time in nature, pick fresh flowers to decorate.

🎬Moana, Arthur Trilogy, Avatar, Jungle Book, Tinkerbell, Barbie.

HOW I CELEBRATE ALL SABBATS OR ESBATS

☾Sage cleanse the house, light candles, diffuse oils.

☾Clean sheets/bedding/pillowcases/towels.

☾Eat at least one traditional food.

☾Watch a relevant movie.

☾Take notes in my BOS of how I celebrated the Sabbat to look back on next year.

☾Charge my crystals & tarot decks in the full moonlight.

☾Do a tarot reading relevant to the Sabbat.

☾Spend time outside with my dogs 🐶

🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙🔮🌙

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How I Celebrate Lammas

This is just some things I associate with Lammas. I hope this may help others celebrate Lammas or just help others get in the mood for this sabbath.

☀️Colors: mustard yellow, light blue, white and gold

Mustard yellow- knowledge, hard work, productivity, wisdom, learning

Light blue- freedom, adventure, honesty, traveling, discovery

White- order, control, organization, leadership, justice

Gold- community, warmth, extroversion, merging, summoning

🌿Herbs: dill, sage, thyme, bay leaf

Dill- community and summoning

Sage- control

Thyme- hardworking and productivity

Bay leaf- justice

🍞Food and drink to consume: bread, summer fruits, jams, beer, corn, honey, herbal teas and fruity teas.

🔸Crystals: honey calcite, citrine, desert rose, kyanite, celestine

Honey calcite- knowledge and learning

Citrine- wisdom

Desert rose- direction and organization

Kyanite- summoning adventure

Celestine- honesty and discovery

🌻Plants: sunflowers, cone flowers, black eyed susan, and golden rod

Sunflowers- happiness

Cone flowers- harmony

Black eyed susan- knowledge and hard work

Golden rod- extroversion and summoning

☀️Weather associations: sunny

Lammas is a great time to celebrate the sun and do solar spells. Enjoy the light knowing it is already at its decline and autumn is soon to come.

If it is not sunny, bring the sun inside. Listen to music or eat food and drinks that make you feel like you are basking in the rays of the sun.

🦋Animal associations: butterflies, cicadas, mice, and dragon flies.

Images of these animals and insects are a great way to decorate your alter. You can also use whatever animals you associate with this time of year.

☀️Happy Lammas!

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as requested by @earlgreyandco. well:

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by Roger Peet

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this is the most unsettling episode of cutthroat kitchen i have ever seen

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can you make a louis wain cat horoscope post i want to know what cat i would be

ARIES:

TAURUS:

GEMINI:

CANCER:

LEO:

VIRGO:

LIBRA:

SCORPIO:

SAGITTARIUS: 

CAPRICORN:

AQUARIUS:

PISCES:

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tfw = two fucking weiners

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YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

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Twitter has a 140 character limit, yet I still found a way to tell one of the longest and most obnoxious knock-knock jokes of all time within a single tweet.

I am more proud of this accomplishment than any human right has the right to be.