manilagraves

[manilagraves]

Once the clouds has poured all of the tears they had stored in their soft, ephemeral bodies, they let the gentle breeze of the world sweep them away as if letting everyone know they are now unburdened of their sorrow. And as they peacefully leave, the light of the sun slowly enveloped the grounds, it's rays coloring the sky in the hues of yellows and oranges. It was a sight to behold and a memory to remember that whenever you shed any melancholia you had carried in your life, a bright life awaits as you transition.

-After The Rain: a short description, manilagraves.

[manilagraves]

Watch me vomit in the carcass of your name buried in the graveyard of your lies and deception.

I will unearth what remains of you and display it in a rose-colored glass to watch how the maggots fester in the flesh of your damned vows. You do not deserve to be entombed in the soft touches of the earth where my heart once laid to nourish your rotten ego for you are meant to be encapsulated in the shards of your sharp tongue that whispered nothing but manipulation. Sickening as it may seem, I will pull out each and every worm swarming in your thick-walled gut and chuck it inside your mouth encrusted with narcissism akin to how you devour all your soul-destroying words that meant nothing but. Peace will never be with you for even in death, I will plague your rotting soul like a fucking flesh-eating maggot―savoring every joy you robbed from me by sucking my sanity away.

[manilagraves]

B͟a͟͟r͟͟e͟͟d͟͟ n͟͟e͟͟c͟͟k͟͟, a͟͟c͟͟h͟͟i͟͟n͟͟g͟͟ f͟͟a͟͟n͟͟g͟͟s͟͟ / w͟͟a͟͟r͟͟m͟͟ f͟͟l͟͟e͟͟s͟͟h͟͟ t͟͟o͟͟ m͟͟y͟͟ r͟͟o͟͟t͟͟t͟͟i͟͟n͟͟g͟͟ e͟͟n͟͟a͟͟m͟͟e͟͟l͟͟. You say that bite isn't touch but my brain fogs between instinct and desire. My desire is to feel you / my instinct whispers to devour you; isn't feeling the same as devouring? I will feel your flesh inside my mouth as I chew you. I will savor your blood as it gushes down on my throat. Fill me with everything your heavenly body could offer and you'll see me desiring for more. / I am a rabid dog domesticated by your touches and without your blood dripping in my mouth, I shall perish in this disease. / Consuming you is me feeling every bit of your soul, biting you is me touching nirvana with your warmth. I do not confuse instinct for desire, they are just one.

[manilagraves]

I have told my mother how much I despise falling in love and being with someone for the rest of my life. I said that it is not for me, that I would rather revel in my love for the worldly things, enjoying my freedom without bearing another person's life as a responsibility. She's probably tired of hearing the same answer on the same question she keeps asking on me; why do I think love is nothing but a waste of my life?

But when I am alone deep in the night, when I am looking at the stars or observing people go on their lives, I do not think that love would be a waste. In one of those stars, my name is probably carved with someone else's name on it as if we were a promise made by the heavens itself. In one of those people, there will be someone who would answer my calls for a love so heavy it would put Sisyphus' boulder into shame. At night, I constantly dream of a lover who loves like he is making a miracle, separating salt from water―slow, careful, intricate, scientific, magical. A love so intense I could imagine spending my entire life on something I have deemed worthless. When at night, I do not despise love. I just yearn for a love so deep that even the oceans couldn't compare.

[manilagraves]

T͟h͟͟e͟͟ d͟͟e͟͟p͟͟r͟͟i͟͟v͟͟a͟͟t͟͟i͟͟o͟͟n͟͟ o͟͟f͟͟ a͟͟ s͟͟o͟͟u͟͟l͟͟ o͟͟f͟͟ i͟͟t͟͟s͟͟ l͟͟o͟͟v͟͟e͟͟r͟͟ i͟͟s͟͟ t͟͟h͟͟e͟͟ m͟͟o͟͟s͟͟t͟͟ c͟͟o͟͟n͟͟d͟͟e͟͟m͟͟n͟͟i͟͟n͟͟g͟͟ a͟͟c͟͟t͟͟ t͟͟h͟͟e͟͟ u͟͟n͟͟i͟͟v͟͟e͟͟r͟͟s͟͟e͟͟ c͟͟o͟͟u͟͟l͟͟d͟͟ d͟͟o͟͟.

A soul yearns for its other half for without it, it would be like going in a shell that is too big for you—too much space for more that you feel the emptiness for something and the need to fill that void so you can be complete. And that. That's what my soul is right now when your love left mine: a half complete being who's crying for the loss of its other half. Its pain gnaws to the bone that even my worldly flesh feels its agony. Now, it feels sickening knowing that I can't have you. You made my soul yearn for something that it cannot have and I can feel its suffering in my constricting heart, slowly dying from this torment. Am I damned for craving something that I haven't even tasted? I long for the warmth of your embrace even if I haven't felt your touches yet, for your soft kisses grazing my skin eventhough our faces have never been inch to inch, and God, your flesh— your flesh that I keep imagining on top of mine, touching every cell that makes up my skin. How will I live now that I have lost my life? How will my soul survive knowing that its other half will never be hers once again? Please, if you cannot save me, my love, just bury me in spite.

[manilagraves]

To My Beloved,

When was the last time we saw each other? The days are passing like a bullet train almost travelling at the speed of light. Each morning, I go to my calendar to cross out the date of tomorrow and through the afternoon, I keep dreading those days to end while I look forward to the day we meet again. And at night, I constantly find myself reminiscing every inch of your face while my eyes are tightly closed for I was afraid that I might forget you. But please, do not be saddened, my love. For before you depart at the train station, I made sure to remember every facet of your whole being. From how you smile upon seeing children merrily playing around the platforms, how your eyes lit up when I held your warm hands, the sincerity of your sparkling brown orbs when the sun illuminates in them as you look into mine, how your neck up to your ears blushes everytime I leave tiny kisses at the back of your hands while telling you how much I love you, and many more that I'm afraid this small parchment might not be enough to contain all of it—everything about you has been engraved on my mind and it seems that my fear of forgetting you will never happen.

How are you, mon amour? Has life been bothering you once again? Tough times may always seem to follow you but always remember the words that I always say: "A problem will only be solved if you face it with your head held high and with full gear on." Be a soldier that doesn't run when faced in any dangerous peril and slay even the most loathsome foe. Lift your head as you walk in a dark tunnel of uncertainty just like how the sun rose in the break of the dawn to light the pathway towards a joyful life. And if you seem to be running out of strength to fight or if your light is dimming out, come find me. Look for the road that leads to me and you shall find my heart that will give you undying strength and a spark to flame your desire to keep going on. I will always be here, my love, praying to any deity to help you find your way home to me. And if they can't, I will destroy every mountain to make a straight path into your arms. I will be your mighty fortress when everything seems to be falling down and until you are ready to fight once again, I will envelope you in the warmth of my embrace.

I hope this letter finds you well. And forgive me if this letter doesn't speak of how much my heart aches for you. But always know that a part of me will never be complete without you, my love. I will always wait for the day till I can touch you with my own hands and kiss you once again. Until then, anticipate more of my letters for you because I have so many things that I want to share with you. I love you till the astronauts find the end of the universe.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

P.S. Please do not be tired of me once my hundreds of letters stack in your house.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The one aching for your love,

Kate

[manilagraves]

theres no such thing as tmi to me. i want to live in your ribcage.

[manilagraves]

Would God be angry if I divert my devotion to you? I'd rather kneel at the behest of your lies than falsely devout myself on the purity that the holy church keeps instilling into me. I have long been a believer of your miracles / the gentle hands feeding the monster within I / your unholy body that satiates my hunger for the unworldly. I'll carve your commandments on my mind, sculpting each word that comes out from your blood-covered mouth. Let me sing to you the cry of my love that with blasphemous angelic resonance, I shall use it to invoke your glorious wrath. OH MY LOVE, ARE YOU THE LIGHT THAT WILL SAVE ME FROM THE DAMNED? OR ARE YOU THE DAMNED THAT WILL TAKE ME FROM THE LIGHT? I do not care for either what you are―I’d taste every stone your feet would trample on. I’d kiss every dust that would dare touch your skin. And every droplet of your holy waters, I shall shamelessly drink; A͟ E͟u͟͟c͟͟h͟͟a͟͟r͟͟i͟͟s͟͟t͟͟ f͟͟o͟͟r͟͟ a͟͟l͟͟l͟͟ t͟͟h͟͟a͟͟t͟͟ i͟͟s͟͟ y͟͟o͟͟u͟͟.

This is a pilgrimage of my love—a witness for my unholy devotion to you. And as a God to a believer, I implore you to cast upon me your blinding light for if my piety is deemed dispensable, HEAVENS AND HELL MAY BE DAMNED. Because just like what they did to the son of that God, I will pierce through you the nails of my inglorious madness and pin you down on a crucifix in the shape of my body. IF YOUR JUDGEMENT RULES MY PERPETUAL LOVE AS UNNECESSARY, I SHALL TAKE INTO MY OWN HANDS THAT YOU ACCEPT MY DEVOTION. BY CRUCIFIXION, YOU AND I SHALL BE ONE.

[manilagraves]

Natalie Díaz, from “Wolf OR-7”, Postcolonial Love Poem

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Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

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Jonice Webb, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

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ℐmmortal (1896), pure nicotine.

♱𝄒𝄪 prettiest girl in the ｍｏｒ.ｇｕｅ ！

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

[manilagraves]

𝒜ngel-devil , 𝟔𝟔𝟔 ( 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘺 ) : sweet fucker

A GRAVEYARD OF WORLDLY FEELINGS AND THE PROFANE ♱ (666th)

━╋ ˢʰᵉ ʷʰᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᵘˢᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵃˡˡ ᶜᵘⁿᵗ 𝒬uintessa alt. Quin ！

my skin hides in a man's cloth to keep its impurity from seeping out but femininity ravages on my blood. you are hereby commanded then to use 𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐒 towards me. unless i don a face of a man, then you are permitted to use ANY TERMS.

my time costs such a high price for some idle chat. hence, do not be surprised if i sporadically answer your calls or worse, pay no heed to it.

i got a full set of sharp teeth and i won't hesitate to tear anyone's neck if they do me wrong. so fuck off if you fit into this basic dni criteria.

―᭩͡ᰯ poor marionette : end

[manilagraves]

At that moment, he caught a glimpse of Elysian in its darkest form and there, on top of the high throne, was her residing in it.

And if every kiss and touch from her means forgetting the real world, he would gladly let this nightmare devour him.

[manilagraves]

Megan Fernandes, “May to December,” in I Do Everything I’m Told

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well fed devils behave better than famished saints

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We were a case of what-could've-beens / of what-ifs that came from the decisions we've made / promises that have gone blue as they became another mere words we've said to make each other stay / but stay was what we didn't do.

𝘞𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥.