marahoge

[marahoge]

Relentless Distraction

Summary: After a defeating loss in round 2 of the uaap volleyball league, sylus finds a way to distract his girlfriend.

Relationship: Sylus Qin | Qin Che | MC (Emi Ciara)

Additional Tags: UAAP Alternate Universe, Fluff, Smut, Established Relationship, Squirting and Vaginal Ejaculation, Vaginal Fingering, Rough Sex, Orgasm Edging, Orgasm Denial, stand and carry, Reverse Cowgirl, Semi-Public Sex, Cock Warming, Aftercare

Language: English, Filipino

Word Count: 2.8k

┏━°⌜ Special Chapter ⌟°━┓

4 sets.

Still a loss.

We fought back and hard but it wasn’t enough. Win or lose though, the UST crowd still cheered for us. I just wish that we could give back the same energy towards them.

It was a quiet ride in the bus. Lahat kami walang gana makipagusap sa isa’t isa. Hindi ko naman sila masisisi kahit ako maraming errors noong game. My receives were way off. I should’ve reached for the ball more.

I shook my head, to stop beating myself up for what was already done. All I, we, could do now was to play a better game for the next round. FEU really outdid themselves with their current team lineup and it doesn’t help that our next opponents are NU, the current team with no losses since round 1 at all. As the team captain, the pressure is immense. We went toe to toe with them last UAAP season and we failed to bring the gold home to España. I wouldn’t want that to happen again.

After a debrief and a quick shower in the gym, I changed to one of Sylus’ shirts. At times with a loss like this, his scent brings me a lot of comfort but of course, I wore our team jacket to cover the shirt because after a loss, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the online backlash if I am seen wearing an Ateneo shirt. I greeted my teammates and coaches before heading to my car.

I drove straight to our shared condo, wanting to sleep off the thoughts and relax for the weekend. Matamlay kong pinindot ‘yung code sa unit namin, mas nararamdaman ko na ang pagod ngayong nandito na ako sa condo namin. Pagkapasok ko sa loob, nilapag ko na ‘yung training bag ko and tinanggal ko na rin ‘yung jacket. I changed to my spare shorts from the bathroom and heaved out a sigh, finally able to relax a bit.

“Have I ever told you how good you look wearing my shirt?”

I turned around in surprise to see my beloved leaning against the hallway with his arms crossed, a long sleeved compression shirt, and gray sweatpants that’s dangerously hanging low on his waist. I gulped at the sight but chose to remain composed.

“Lord! Luluharan po!”

I immediately ran towards him and tightly hugged his waist while burying my head on his chest, engulfing myself in his scent. Sylus ran his hand on my hair, equally holding me close while kissing the crown of my head. We were just holding each other in silence and gently swaying side to side from time to time. When a thought ran in my mind, when I looked up to Sylus, he caught the surprise in my eyes.

“What is it, mahal?”

“I was too preoccupied with myself that I forgot about your game. How did it go, love?” Sylus looked at me lovingly as he tucked strands of my hair behind my ear.

“Pwede naman natin pag usapan ‘yun mamaya, mahal.”

I pursed my lips and shook my head. I knew he was being considerate of me, he always was. Sylus sighed as he knew that I wouldn’t let this go. I let out a yelp of surprise when he suddenly carried me.

“Well, if my love is so persistent on talking about our day then we should at least be in the comforts of our bed, no? Besides, I’m dying to cuddle with you.”

I hope he doesn’t feel how wet I’m becoming. Heavens! Just from the sight of him right now makes me knees weak.

“I can walk you know.”

“I know but that won’t stop me from carrying you whenever I want to and plus, exercise na rin para sa akin. Kaya nga kitang kargahin gamit ang iisang braso, oh?”

‘Yung gago nilipat pa talaga ako kargahin sa braso niya! Hindi pa ba sapat na ang sarap sarap ng itsura niya ngayon?!

“Yabang.” I said nonchalantly, as if I wasn’t a heaping hot mess by the second.

“Mahal mo naman.” Sylus smirked and even tilted his head.

God! This man would be the death of me.

He opened the door with his free hand and gently laid me down on our bed.

“I’ll go change my top so I’m comfortable hm? Turn on the ac for me, please?” I nodded as he gave me another kiss on my forehead before heading to our walk-in closet to change. I reached for the ac remote because honestly, I need to turn it to the coldest setting to calm myself down.

I mean, what’s stopping me from pouncing on my boyfriend?

Nothing!

I sighed as I rubbed my temples. Sylus is being very sweet and gentle with me right now so I don’t want to act like some sort of horny and deprived woman. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt his arms wrapped around my waist.

“Something troubling you, mahal? Parang kanina ka pa may iniisip. What’s our problem, hm?”

I leaned my head back on his shoulder as I was about to respond to him, that’s when I noticed the lack of garment on him.

Sabi niya magpapalit siya ng pang-taas niya? Kaya bakit siya naka hubad?!

Tinanggal lang pala ni Sylus ‘yung compression shirt niya. Sinusubok ba ako ng kataas-taasan ngayon? Hay.

“Nothing, there’s no problem.” He looked down at me and arched his brow. I chuckled and kissed his jaw, too comfortable in our position to reach for his lips.

“I promise, okay?” Sylus sighed and showed me a small smile.

“Alright then, love.” He pulled me closer to his chest as he spread his legs to accommodate me in between.

“So, how was your game? I’m sorry for forgetting about it.” Sylus chuckled and shook his head.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, love. You have a team of your own and a captain at that. Remembering my game is the least of your worries.”

“Besides being a team captain, I’m also your best friend and partner too. I want to share your wins and loses together. Yes, we have our responsibilities but that doesn’t mean that you should feel like you’re not my priority too.”

“Well, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to worry about making me feel that way because you didn’t. I feel very much loved by you, mahal. Whether you remember my games or not. Always remember that.” I nodded and smiled, feeling a bit at ease that I didn’t make him feel otherwise.

“And about our game, we won against UP. Three sets.” I smiled widely hearing the results of their match for the second round. I cupped his cheeks and bombarded him with kisses.

“Congratulations! You did so good! Ang galing talaga ng mahal ko!” Sylus laughed as he scrunched his nose from the continuous amount of kisses I gave him.

“Hey, I wasn’t the only one who also did well today. You did too and I’m proud of you whatever the outcome of your matches are.” I gave him a small smile as I slumped on his chest.

“Except, I didn’t do well though… Some of our services were off and heck, almost all of my receives were shit! I… I just know to myself that I’m not in my A game. The crowd didn’t deserve to watch us play like that.”

“Hey, you’re juggling so much already and are we forgetting the fact that you guys managed to still give FEU a hard fight when your finals just finished? My love, not everyone expects you to always be in your top performance. Pwedeng pwede pa bumawi ‘di ba? So please don’t beat yourself up hm?”

His thumb rubbed the side of my tummy to help ease my thoughts. I was too occupied with my shortcomings as a player that I didn’t even notice Sylus snaked his arm inside my shirt.

“But-“

“No buts.” I let out a surprised moan when his fingers pinched my nipple.

“You’re not hearing my words, princess and since it looks like you’re not planning to, then I might as well distract you from those thoughts. I know a thing or two about keeping that pretty head of yours occupied by me alone.” Sylus said as he lowered his voice and lightly bit my earlobe while trailing sloppy kisses on the side of my neck. When he bit a spot on the crook of my neck, I let out a loud moan and I felt him smirk against my skin. I knew that I was growing more and more wet by the second ever since I saw Sylus by our doorway. So, I closed my thighs together but he clicked his tongue in response.

“Sinabi ko bang isara mo ‘yang hita mo?” I bit my lip and shook my head.

“Sagot. Use your words, princess.”

“N-no,” I breathlessly replied.

“Then what should you do?” I spread my legs just as he wanted.

“Good but this feels a bit better.” He placed my legs outside his and used his thighs to spread my legs further. Sylus then trails his fingers on my shorts as I whimpered.

“Puta. Basang basa ka na, hindi pa tayo nagsisimula. Kantot na kantot ka na, love?” All I could do was shamelessly nod like a desperate woman.

“Ano ‘yun? Hindi ko marinig ‘yung sagot mo, love?” I tried to think straight as his fingers lazily trail on my shorts.

“P-please.. Sy,”

“Please what, princess?”

“Kantutin… mo na ako… please!” Desperado na kung desperado pero nararamdaman ko na kung gaano siya katigas sa pwet ko at sa puntong ‘to wala na akong pake basta maramdaman ko lang siya.

“Glad that you asked, kasi hindi na ako makahintay simula noong makita kita suot ang shirt ko at walang bra. Tangina, kung alam mo lang gaano ako nagpigil na hindi ka kantutin sa pintuan kanina,” Sylus said as his kisses and bites trail from my neck to my shoulder.

“but I have to make sure you can take me first, princess.” I let out a yelp as he ripped my shorts alongside with my panty. He inserted a finger in me and I threw my head back in pleasure. I heard Sylus chuckle as he continued to finger me.

“Isa pa lang ‘yan, bakit parang lalabasan ka na ‘ata?”

“S-shut up…” I was taken aback when he inserted a second finger in me.

“Ahh! s-shit… Sy-!”

“hmm? What was that, kitten? Couldn’t really hear you over your loud moans.” I couldn’t even talk back as he curled his fingers in me. Sylus just knows which spots to hit to make me a mess and I wouldn’t even complain not even when he adds a third finger, completely stretching me. I was a moaning mess with just his fingers but when Sylus pinches and twirls my nipple with his free hand, I knew I was close.

“Ano? Lalabasan ka na ba?” I nodded, desperately wanting to chase that high. Sylus smirked as he pulled his fingers out. I whimpered and was about to complain when he swiftly pushed his whole cock in.

“Nghh! Sy…lus!” I could’ve released right then and there but fortunately, I didn’t. Sylus pushed down and rubbed just below my belly button, where the tip of his cock formed.

“Fuck… ang sikip mo pa rin, mahal… pero tignan mo kung gaano mo kayang kunin ‘yung tite ko.” I lazily looked up to see just how deep Sylus is in me and god, did that just made me tighter. Sylus sighed breathily against my ear.

“Ginagatasan mo ba’ko, mahal?”

Before I could even utter a response he thrusted hard and deep in me. Sylus was ramming his cock in me and all I could do was moan and take his massive length. Ang bagal nung pagbayo niya sa butas ko pero malalim na para ba’ng hinuhulma niya ‘yung hugis ng tite niya sa puke ko. I couldn’t help but buck my hips against his thrusts.

“Shit! That’s it, love… fuck back into me.” With how Sylus was hitting my g-spot, I knew I was close once again and he could tell with how tight I was that I’m about to climax. Although, Sylus has other plans, as he clicked his tongue yet again.

“Uh, uh, uh… not yet, love. Not until I say so,” I grumbled as I was yet again denied to release but what I didn’t expect was for Sylus to stand up from the bed and bring us over to the glass windows. Sylus hooked his arms underneath my knees as he spread my legs wide open just to take his cock, then he proceeded to thrust and he thrusted fast like this was our last fuck.

“Ano na lang kaya sasabihin ng sponsors niyo kapag nakita nila ang responsable nilang team captain ay kantot na kantot dito sa bintana natin hm? Kitang-kita sa labas kung paano kita kinakantot, mahal.”

I’m a writhing mess under him, all I could do was hold against the glass windows for support as I stared at our faint reflection on the window as lights from the buildings and city illuminated how Sylus fucked me like he didn’t have any ounce of love for me. My pussy tightly clenched on his cock, I was on edge from being held back to release for two times so it didn’t take long until I could feel like I’m about to come.

“Sy! Sy…lus! w-wait! Sl…ow down!” But that only made Sylus move faster. There was nothing else in his mind but fucking her into oblivion. In every position he could think of or in every part of their unit.

I tried pushing Sylus away but I was too drowned in pleasure, a pleasure only he could give me. This release feels different, something I’ve never felt before as Sylus wasn’t this rough when we made love.

“S-Sy… s-stop! fu…ck!” Sylus chuckled.

“If you want me to stop, you know what word to really say, love.” god, was he right. We both knew I wouldn’t mutter our safe word because I wanted this. I wanted Sylus to fuck me hard. Me saying stop only made him fuck his cock in my pussy until his tip is hitting my damn cervix and that’s when I felt it. I came, gushing with clear liquid as I screamed out of ecstasy.

“Tangina, I fucked you that hard that you ended up squirting, love?” I couldn’t mutter a single word as he kept fucking me through my release. It felt like I was trying to push his cock out from my release but one thing about Sylus is he’s relentless. Sylus has set his mind on fucking me and filling me up without a doubt.

“Lalabasan na’ko, mahal… fuck! Saan mo gusto, hm?” I was wantonly moaning, not recognizing the woman that I’ve become.

“Sagot.”

“Lo…ob! Sa loob… Sy! plea…se!” I was crying out of pleasure, it was too much.

“hah… sa loob ko ipuputok? Gusto mo na ‘atang anakan kita e! Ano? buntisin na ba kita, mahal ha?” I nodded vigorously, unable to mutter anything but moaning out his name like a mantra. Sylus gave me on deep thrust and came in me as I also did, releasing the second time this night. Sylus rode out his release, as his thrusts turn sloppy. He leaned on the glass window, we’re both breathless, our breaths fogging up the glass.

“I love you… Em,” Sylus tenderly kissed my temple, his chest heaving on my back, as I could feel how fast his heart is beating.

“I…love you…sobra, Sylus,” I looked up at him and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

As I pulled back from the kiss, Sylus kissed me back with much more intensity that I could feel him growing bigger inside me.

“Haha… Isa pa, mahal?” I smiled through our kiss as he moved us back to our bed.

Ang sabi niya isa lang pero hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses namin ginawa kagabi dahil gusto ulit ni Sylus na labasan ako kagaya nung unang beses noong gabing ‘yon. We fucked until I passed out and I bet he continued to fuck me until he was satisfied.

I groggily woke up in our guest room with Sylus still in me, albeit softer now. We slept while I was cockwarming him huh? I could smell his body wash on my skin so I could only guess that he cleaned us up both while I was out of it. Well, I wouldn’t expect anything less of Sylus. I was always well taken care of by him after we make love.

I smiled as I watched his sleeping form. I smiled as I traced his features. No matter how bad my day goes, he knows what to say and to do. Always. I kissed his forehead before snuggling on his chest, as I slept while feeling the steady pace of the heart of the man that I love, Sylus Qin.

[marahoge]

Ohana

Summary: A short sneak peek on the Qin family’s day in Hawaii!

Relationship: Sylus Qin | Qin Che | MC (Cassia)

Language: English, Filipino

Word Count: 1k

┏━°⌜ Special Chapter ⌟°━┓

I giggled as I settled against Sylus’ chest. There’s really nothing that beats a soak in the tub after a very looong day! I felt Sylus give me a chaste kiss on the crook of my neck then on my temple. I turned around to face him and scrunched my nose as I rubbed mine against his.

“Did you have fun, sweetie?” I leaned my right cheek on his chest as I looked up at him and smiled.

“Sus! Hindi pa ba obvious ‘yung sagot d’yan, mahal?” My husband let out another one of his ‘rich people’ chuckles so I couldn’t help but let out a snort. I immediately covered my mouth in surprise. I slowly looked back at Sylus only to see him smirking with one brow up towards me.

“Trip mo na naman ako, sweetie?” Sylus pulled me closer and lazily traced his finger on my waist.

“E kasi naman ‘yung kambal sisihin mo, sila naman ang nag-point out. Ayan tuloy, every time you laugh I can’t help but remember what they said.” He shook his head and cupped my cheeks. I thought Sylus was going to kiss me but he suddenly pinched my cheeks!

Hmph! Nilamutak ba naman ‘yung pisngi ko!

“At least I still made my wife smile and laugh.”

“You sound like you don’t always do that to me everyday.” I smiled as he gave me a quick kiss on the crown of my head.

“You praise me too much, sweetheart.” I playfully rolled my eyes at his remark.

“It’s not like I’m throwing it around for no reason at all, love. How could I not say good things about my husband? Kita mo ba asan tayo ngayon? We’re in Hawaii, baby! You didn’t even need to go through such lengths, I would’ve been happy watching Lilo and Stitch at SM or Vista Cinemas but as usual, you went to infinity and beyond so that me and the twins could enjoy the movie to the fullest.”

“I see what you did there, sweetie. Hahaha!”

“Oh sige nga, sinong character nagsabi nun, boomer?”

“Buzz lightyear, babe.” He lightly flicked my forehead and I rolled my eyes in response.

“Parang may nag-review ah.” I yelped as the water in the tub sloshed around as he pulled me even closer by the butt. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Real cheeky, Mr. Qin.” I scooted back a bit but Sylus suddenly tightened his hold on me.

Yup, still at the same freaking place!

I looked back at him and as expected he had a brow arched up.

“Are you not comfortable with our position, Mrs. Qin?” I immediately shook my head.

“Never, silly… it’s just that, uhm, I thought you’ll be uncomfortable given that my bump is growing.” I immediately wanted to take my words back after I saw his facial expression.

“I’m more concerned if you’re comfortable or not, sweetheart.” Sylus was about to take his hands off me but I huffed and stopped him by grabbing ahold of both his hands.

“Do I look uncomfortable to you, Sy?” I glared at him and while I know he might not take my angry act seriously, he shook his head and placed his hands back.

“Haha! no, ma’am.”

“Buti naman… oh, by the way, why did you get the two bedroom villa, mahal?”

“Well, just in case.” I gave him the most confused look ever while Sylus just gave me an amused look. I sat up slightly and crossed my arms.

“Just in case of what? and eyes up here, mister.” Sylus threw his head back and raised his arms up.

“Hey, they looked at me. So it’s not really my fault, misis ko.”

Okay pregnancy hormones hinay lang—

“The other room is just in case your hormones lead you to wanting to make love. Your OB did mention that you may experience high libido so I came prepared. I can’t have my wife sleeping on a drenched bed. I’d rather carry you immediately to a comfortable bed so that you can relax.”

I immediately turned my back on him. I could feel the tips of my ears burning.

Ugh!

This man!

“Hahaha! Are you blushing, sweetie?” My husband tried to take a peek but I whipped my head to the opposite direction every time until we both ended up laughing at how silly we were being.

“How did I get so lucky to have you as my lifelong partner, dada?” I cupped his cheek and stared at his ruby eyes. Sylus gently held my tummy and gave it a gentle rub.

“I am the one who’s lucky to have you, sweetheart. You’re literally growing a human being in your tummy and I’ll forever be grateful for it and everything you’ve done for me and our family, sweetheart.”

“Pinapaiyak na naman ako…” I sniffled as I hid my head on Sylus’ chest. I felt his thumb wipe my tears.

“Hormones?”

“Yeah, hmph! I will always blame these hormones.” My husband started to hum ‘Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride’ while combing my hair.

“Tahan na, sweetheart.” And just like magic, he managed to calm me down.

The next day…

“Wooh! Kuya Sy!”

“Ate Caaas! Look! Nakakatayo kami oh! Woot! Woot!”

Today, the boys wanted to go surfing and that’s what we’re doing right now. The twins waved at us while standing on their surfing boards. Sylus and I are seated on his surfing board with him hugging me from the back. I gasped as the twins fell from their boards but as soon they emerged from the water, we both started laughing as the two started playfully arguing with the waves. I sighed as I held Sylus' hand.

“I’m hoping that was a good sigh, mahal?” I turned to Sylus and gave him a kiss on the lips.

“Mhm! Haaay, thank you for bringing us here, love.”

“Anything for you, mahal ko.”

“Ayaw mo ba mag-surf din, dada?” Sylus placed his chin at the top of my head and hummed a decline.

“Dito lang ako sa mag-ina ko. How about you, sweetie?”

“Hmm, sabi ni doktora pwede naman daw ako mag-surfing dahil mag-se-second trimester pa lang naman ako, but I’m good here na, dada. Samahan mo naman ‘yung kambal mamaya ha?”

“Alright po, misis ko.” We both chuckled as we continued to watch the twins surf.

So this is what they mean by Ohana means family huh?

The twins, my husband, Sylus, and our little pea, surrounded by the sun and the waves that are filled with our smiles and laughter.

[marahoge]

Withering Astilbe II

Summary: After meeting the mysterious Ember Claire, will Sylus finally connect the dots as to what really is her role in his life? Just a mere shareholder in Onychinus Group or something more?

Relationship: Sylus Qin | Qin Che | MC (Ember Claire)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Angst, Mentions of Anxiety and Panic Attacks, Tinaguan ng Anak, Not Beta Read

Language: English, Filipino (and Ilokano)

Word Count: 3.5k

┏━°⌜ Chapter II ⌟°━┓

I let out an exaggerated sigh as I stretched my head to the side. I never had the highest alcohol tolerance but I badly needed a drink last night. I shook my head because I can’t afford to be lax. Mama already has enough pressure on her end with the current rumors. I quickened my steps when I noticed the elevator doors closing. I reached out my arm just in time to stop the doors from closing but that’s when our eyes met.

Ember Claire.

So she really is staying until the company needs her, huh?

She immediately averted her eyes after just a second of meeting mine.

Why?

I stepped in the elevator and stood at the corner opposite of hers. I stole a glance at Claire, my gaze lingering on her ring finger. No wedding ring in sight.

She was referred to as missus though. That board member couldn’t have called her like that by mistake but if she really is married then why is she not wearing a ring?

I leaned on the elevator’s mirrored wall and looked down at the floor.

Why am I getting a feeling that she’s wary of me? It could be how I acted towards her yesterday but why is my heart and mind contradicting?

The elevator is goddamn spacious but there she is at the very end corner. Keeping her distance from me like I am some sort of plague.

Why does her mere presence intrigue me?

Who the hell are you, Ember Claire?

“I’m sorry.” She arched her brow as she spared me with nothing but a short glance.

“I’m sorry that I was rude to you after the meeting yesterday.” I turned my head, curious to see how she’ll react.

“You just wanted to protect your family and this company from a stranger that happens to be part of the board. You don’t have to apologize, Mr. Qin.” Her gaze remained forward and never at me again.

Why does that give me a heavy feeling?

I looked at the woman in front of me curiously, as usual, I couldn’t make out her features in this dream.

“Yes, Mr. Qin?” She smiled, nose scrunching at her teasing remark.

“What does ‘lakay ko’ mean?” She chuckled and faced me with the brightest smile that only I could receive.

“You’re suddenly curious about Ilokano ha! Well, it means, my husband.” I played with her fingers, my touch lingering on the ring that sits perfectly on her finger.

“Can you call me that?”

“Oo naman ‘no! If that’s the request of my love then I’ll gladly do so.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I’m reminded of that dream again. Why now? That voice is so familiar but every time I have a dream about that woman, I can't picture her face no matter how hard I try. I subconsciously rub my ring finger, I don’t know why but ever since I was hospitalized five years ago, doing so brings me some sort of comfort.

The elevator doors opened and Claire bolted straight out. I dismissed my thoughts about the dream and followed right behind her. Apparently the vacant office beside mine has always been hers. I watched her swiftly enter her office in a hurry.

I guess she must hate having her office next to mine, huh?

Is fate playing tricks on me?

I closed the door to my office behind me as I slowly slipped to the floor while tightly clutching my necklace. I bumped my head on the door. Tears welling up my eyes.

He’s so close but so far.

I tried to control my breathing when I heard a loud thud at the office next to mine.

It was a mistake.

Even after five years apart, I acted out of pure instinct.

I rushed to stand up and head outside. I saw Kieran trying to open the door to Sylus’ office but it wouldn't budge. While Luke was calling help from the maintenance staff.

“Ate Em! Si Kuya!”

“Luke! Keep trying to open the door. Ke, I need your help. Follow me.” The twins and I hurry to get through his office because Sylus isn’t responding at the other side.

“Push that bookshelf to the side!” Kieran immediately pushed the bookshelf while I pulled a drawer open and pushed the hidden compartment to take the key hidden in it.

Sakto ay naitulak na ni Kieran ‘yung bookshelf para hindi na ‘yun nakaharang sa connecting door papasok sa opisina ni Sylus. He had this built after I officially joined Onychinus Group. Saying that, he doesn’t want to walk around from the doors to his office just to get to mine. Well, after he lost his memories I had it covered. I shakily pushed the key in and turned it. When it unlocked, Kieran and I pushed the door together.

My breath hitched as I saw Sylus on the floor, unconscious. Without thinking clearly, I rushed to his side, gently laid his head on my lap, and quickly checked if he hit something upon fainting.

“Kieran! Open that main door and call for the stand by medical personnel! Hurry!” Kieran didn’t need to be told twice. We all knew how delicate it could be for him to faint. My hands were trembling as I tried to gently shake him awake.

“S-Sy..lus.. please… wake up… come on. Don’t do… this to me… not again.” My hands were shaking as I tried to gently shake him awake.

“Ate…” I turned to see Luke enter the office with a worry filled expression. My breathing was starting to become uncontrollable until I felt a tug on my necklace.

Oh god.

Didn’t I tuck my necklace underneath my satin blouse earlier?

With as much composure I could muster, I looked down at Sylus.

“This ring… why is this ring… with you? and why does… the other one have… my name engraved… on it?”

Tangina.

Wala akong masabi at kung meron, ano naman ang masasabi ko na papaniwalaan niya?

“Kuya-“

“Not now, Luke. I need you… to leave us.” Kieran then arrived with the medical staff but Sylus waved them off as he got up.

“But you need to be checked, Kuya, especially your head-“

“It was just a migraine. I won’t ask twice, bal.” The twins looked at me worriedly. They don’t know what to do. We knew the risks it could do to his brain if we followed what he’s requesting but further stress to his brain could also lead to more problems. I let out a heavy sigh and nodded my head toward the twins.

“Go, I’ll call you both if we need something but have the medical staff on standby outside the office.” Kieran seemed like he didn’t want to budge until Luke had to gently pull him out of the room. The twins had both sad and worried expressions as they softly closed the doors.

Sylus slowly walked towards his desk and leaned on it while looking directly at my exposed necklace. I couldn’t look at him. I clenched my fist to prevent it from shaking.

“You know, I’ve had these dreams for the past five years. The face of the woman was always blurry and no matter how much I dream about her, I could never see her face but the one thing I engraved in my head is that damned ring.”

I want to run away. If I wasn’t careless, if I gave my actions more thought, we wouldn’t be in this situation right now. I wouldn’t be risking his wellbeing just because I acted out of panic for a second.

“Are you the woman in my dreams, Claire?”

I couldn’t muster a single word.

“Answer me, Claire, p-please…” I pushed down the lump forming in my throat.

“No.” By God and whatever will I have left, I looked at his ruby eyes with a fake sense of determination.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Ember Claire.”

“I’m not–“

“Then how can you explain my name on that ring? And those two rings that you’ve been hiding in the guise of a necklace, huh?” Sylus stood straight from leaning on the table and slowly walked towards me. My eyes widened as I backed away when he tried to reach for me.

“W-wag ka… lalapit.” I could no longer control my breathing, my vision becoming blurry by the second, and my heart is racing like I just ran a marathon.

“Em?” I couldn’t see what expression he’s showing me but why was his voice so gentle? Just like the way he used to talk to me 6 years ago. I tightly clutched my chest, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. I weakly tried to slam my fist on my chest. I feel like I’m choking or drowning.

“Ember! Sweetheart!” Darkness began to seep through my vision, their voices began to muffle until I fully succumbed to the darkness. With my last vision being Sylus’ face. Why did he look so scared to death?

“Hon, I know you’re worried but for our little peas, can you slow down, hm?”

“Hon naman, this is Claire we’re talking about. She hasn’t had an attack this bad for years!”

“I know, hon, but she’ll stay in the room naman. She won’t go anywhere so why don’t we slow down and take a breather, hm? please?” I let out a huff as Zayne slowly guided me to breathe in and out while gently rubbing my lower back in an attempt to calm me down. After a few seconds, we continued our way to Claire’s room.

“Buti na lang talaga at si Cole ang naka toka mag-bantay kay baby Sola ngayon. Ayaw ko muna ibalita kay Tara e, maka-cut short pa ‘yung matagal na nilang plano na Europe trip ni Greyson.”

“There’s no doubt she’ll drop everything once she hears what happened to Claire.” Zayne sighed as he finally managed to make his wife calm down. That’s until they got to Claire’s room.

Napa singhap si Cassie nang makita ang lagay ng kanyang kaibigan. Ngayon na lang niya nakitang ganito ang lagay ni Claire pero ang kanyang pag-alala ay nabahiran ng galit nang makita si Sylus na naka upo sa gilid.

“Fuck. Hon-“ Zayne held her arm but Cassie paid no mind to it. She arched her brow towards Sylus who held nothing but an apologetic gaze.

“Anong ginagawa mo dito?” She walked or more like grumpily waddled towards her friend’s hospital bed. Zayne bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing. His wife was too cute to even appear scary for him but maybe for Sylus, Cassie Li’s anger was seething.

Cassie sighed before holding Claire’s hand. Rubbing her thumb against her slightly cold hand. Her unwavering concerned gaze towards her friend was immediately replaced with exasperation as she glared at Sylus.

“What did you do, Sylus Qin? You really had to bulldoze yourself in her life, huh? Alam mo ba’ng ngayon na lang ulit siya nagka-severe panic attack na ganito? Of course you have no clue! Kinalimutan mo-“

“Cassie.” Zayne cut his wife off, shaking his head. It wasn’t their place to say.

“Pasalamat ka at buntis ako, Mr. Qin. Kasi kung hindi baka kinaladkad na kita palabas ng suite na ‘to at wala akong pake kung malaki ang shares niyo dito sa hospital namin. Ibang usapan na kapag damay si Claire.”

“How long has she had these panic attacks?” The couple turned their heads towards the door.

“Tita Sylvia…” Cassie cleared her throat. Sylvia Qin is listed as her emergency contact after Sylus’ accident but she didn’t want to divulge much information as Sylus was in the room.

“It started five years ago po.” She averted her gaze away from Sylus. This is a very sensitive topic for everyone in the room. The room went silent, nobody dared to talk.

Claire groaned as she opened her eyes, slowly adjusting to the light in the room.

“Oh, take it easy, Em… Hon, paki naman.” Inalalayan ni Cassie si Claire maka-upo. While Zayne adjusted the height of the bed and began checking her vitals.

“I’m fine-“

“No, you’re not.”

“No, you’re not.” Sabay pang tugon ng mag-asawang Li. Claire couldn’t do anything but let out an exaggerated sigh and let the two doctors do their work.

“Any dizziness? Headaches? Chest pains?”

“Nope… like I said, I am a-okay. Na overstimulate lang siguro ako and spiraled…” Zayne and Cassie gave each other a knowing look. While her current vitals were indeed okay, deep down, she is nowhere near okay.

“Can I have a moment alone with my wife?” I felt everyone turn their heads to Sylus but me.

“Cas?”

“Em?” Cassie held my hand assuringly.

“Give us a moment alone. Please.” Cassie sighed and nodded. She was worried to bits for me but it’s what I wanted. Zayne helped her stand up as she gave me a smile before leaving the room with Mama. As soon as the door closed, we were enveloped by silence.

Wow, ang ganda naman ng view sa labas.

Kinnametten talaga! Para akong masusuka dahil sobrang tahimik.

“How are you feeling?”

Lord, I refuse to look at him. Pwede ba’ng magpanggap na lang akong bingi?

“Em.”

“Ano? ang kulit mo ah. Narinig mo naman sinabi nina Zayne kanina tungkol sa vitals ko just a few seconds ago.”

“I am asking you and not whatever medical assessment that guy said.”

“That guy you're pertaining to is asawa ng kaibigan ko and the top cardiac surgeon of this country. He went out of his way para samahan si Cassie dahil sa katangahan ko so please tread your words carefully.”

“Well, I don’t give a damn and katangahan? Em, you fainted because of me. Why would you phrase it like that?”

“Because we aren’t supposed to be in this situation in the first place.”

“W-what? What are you talking about? Are you saying that I shouldn’t have remembered you in the first place?”

“Yeah…” I looked towards the window again. I refused to look at him even though I felt the bed dip and his hand caressing mine.

“Why?” I pulled my hand away from his grasp.

“Aren’t you thinking what kind of risk you’re putting your brain through just to remember me? Bakit sa tingin mo pinili kong lumipat ng ibang bansa, malayo sa’yo ha? Your doctor said it was life threatening to push your brain to remember the memories you lost. Sa tingin mo kaya kong gawin sa’yo ‘yun, Sylus ha? Ano-“

My words were cut off as he gave me a chaste kiss. I was dumbfounded. Not long after he pulled back, he kissed my forehead, his lips lingering over my racing thoughts.

“What you didn’t account for was that you’ve plagued my head for years, Em… Earlier, I was able to finally piece together the face of the woman that I’ve been dreaming about. Yes, it gave me a piercing migraine and if it still worries you, Mama and Papa forced me to get myself checked the moment you were transferred here, haha… I didn’t want to leave your side but the doctor gave me the all clear, baket ko…[my wife] My head is perfectly fine.”

I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my face. Sylus cupped my cheeks as he wiped my tears.

“Tahan na, ayat ko- [mahal ko/my love] Em!” I pushed him with all the little strength I have left and frustratingly hit his chest.

“Ang tagal-tagal mo! Ang tagal-tagal mo, Sylus!” I continued hitting him as I cried, even though it was everything that I’ve got in me, for him it only felt like weak hits. He gently held my wrists as I cried my frustrations out.

“Tama na…”

“I waited… for so long! Bakit n-ngayon ka… lang?!” I dropped my arms and leaned the crown of my head to his chest as I broke down. I felt Sylus gently kiss the top of my head. He then leveled his face against mine, he fixed the strands of hair that were sticking to my face.

“Sorry, Em… alam ko… ‘di ba sinabi ko sa’yo, for as long as we both shall live? Kahit nakalimutan kita, Em, hinding-hindi ka nawala dito…” He clutched my hand and placed it on his chest.

“Sa puso ko.” At this point, I could barely care that I was ugly crying. Although our emotional reunion was cut off as the door burst open.

“Wai you huwting my momma?!” I couldn’t gather my bearings as I witnessed Sola hit Sylus with punches that barely affected her own dada.

“Ow! I will never hurt your momma, sweetheart.”

“You unintentionally kinda did though…” I muttered under my breath.

“Alright, one at a time, girls. Can we please discuss that after you explain everything to our daughter?” I gave him a surprised look.

“Paano ka sure na anak mo si Sola, aber?” As expected, I received a very offended look from Sylus. He shook his head as he clicked his tongue.

“Just because I’m not wearing our wedding rings doesn’t mean we’re not married anymore and for the record, Sola looks about four years old. That sounds about the right age after you left the Philippines because of my accident. So that means you were already carrying her the moment-“ I rolled my eyes and covered his mouth. I could feel him smirking against my palms.

Puwede ba’ng ibagok ko na lang ulit ulo nito?! Tarupam! [Mukha mo!]

“Ayaw mo tanggalin kamay mo, baket ko?” The fucker even had the audacity to arch his brow.

Bakit napaka pogi?! Ay! Teka nga! Huli kong tanda, naiinis pa ako sa kanya!

“Ayaw mo talaga ha?” He gave my palm a lick. I let out a shriek that even our daughter stopped hitting Sylus just to stare at me. I pulled the blanket up and covered this bastard’s face.

“Sylus Qin! May bata oh!”

“You were covering my mouth, sweetie. I’m pretty sure our Sola doesn’t have any clue to what I did.”

“Tapos na kayo mag-landian sa harap ng bata?” While still towering over Sylus with a blanket, Cole entered the room and carried Sola.

“Sorry ah, nag puppy eyes kasi sa akin. Gusto ka daw makita ng bebe. Hindi ko naman matiis.”

“Okay lang, Cole. Thank you for bringing her, nasa office ‘yung mag asawa. Ako na bahala kay Sola.” I opened my arms as Cole handed me our darling girl. Sola immediately snuggled on the crook of my neck, she doesn’t even mind that her dada is in front of her, still covered with a blanket though.

“Message or call us if gusto mo muna ma-solo asawa mo.” Cole winked at me before leaving the room. That girl really, geez, I could feel the tips of my ears burning.

“Awe wyu otay, momma?” Sola looked up at me while pouting.

Ang cute-cute talaga ng Sola namin! Napaka worth it lahat ng pagod sa pagiging ina kasi bawing-bawi ng baby namin!

“Momma is okay, baby… were you worried?” I combed her hair as she showed me her cutest smile.

“a bwit! bwut sowa know momma ko stwong!”

Haaay! Cute-ness aggression please! Gusto ko na lang kurutin pisngi ng anak ko!

But since I can only pinch her cheeks gently, I showered our baby girl with kisses as she laughed because it easily tickles her.

“Pwede may kiss din ako?” Sylus removed the blanket from his head and peeked at us.

“Nwo wan ken kith momma bwut sowa!” Sylus sat up and chuckled at our daughter.

“Paano ba ‘yan? I got to kiss her first before you were even born, Sola.” Nag-shrug pa ang loko. Hay, kawawa naman ‘tong anak namin kasi may pala asar siyang dada. Sola puffed her cheeks and glared at him.

“Nwo wyu dident!” Our darling girl even crossed her arms! Ang cute ng mag-ama ko!

“Oh but I did. If I didn’t kiss your momma then you wouldn’t be here right now. Right, momma?” I ignored Sylus. Napaka landing nilalang talaga.

Sola turned her head to the side as she stared at her dada. She alternately looked at Sylus and me before stopping at Sylus.

“Wyu sowa’s dada?” Sylus looked at me like he was asking permission which was silly because I never kept him a secret from Sola. I smiled at him and nodded. He mouthed a thank you before looking back down at Sola who was in between us.

“Y-yeah… I’m your dada, Sola…”

“Wyu nwat buthy anymow? Momma seyd wyu oweyth buthy dath wai wyu nwat gwo to japwan…” Sylus clenched his jaw, I held his hand and rubbed my thumb over his knuckles, in an attempt to calm him down. I knew he was trying his best not to cry.

“Mhm… I’m sorry if ngayon lang si dada… b-babawi ako… sa inyong dalawa… Sola. I promise.”

“Otway pwo! Pwingky pwomith!” Sola held her tiny pinky out towards Sylus as tears threatened to leave his eyes. He chuckled and curled his own pinky with Sola’s. Our darling girl scrunched her nose as she laughed and surprised Sylus by hugging him tight. I found myself starting to tear up as Sylus tightly held our daughter. He lifted his head and reached out for my hand, intertwining them together.

“Uwi na tayo?” I smiled and gave him a nod.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

[marahoge]

Withering Astilbe

Summary: For Ember Claire, her relationship with Sylus is just the way the cookie crumbles but how will she handle going back to the Philippines with a child of the man that forgot her?

Relationship: Sylus Qin | Qin Che | MC (Ember Claire)

Additional Tags: Angst, Main Character Accident, Alternate Universe, Tinaguan ng anak, Not Beta Read

Language: English, Filipino (and Ilokano)

Word Count: 3.5k

┏━°⌜ Chapter I ⌟°━┓

“We’re very sorry sweetheart, but your presence is needed here. We really tried. We took every measure that was necessary to not bring you back home.”

I knew this day would come sooner or later. After all, there is no escaping from Sylus Qin. It’s crazy to think that maybe he’s either desperate to make me set foot in the Philippines.

Although, reality is far from that.

I cleared my throat and let out a shaky breath before mustering up the courage to reply.

“I understand, mama. I’ll take the next available flight back home po.”

“We can send the jet for you-“ It felt like air was cut off from my lungs.

“I’ll be fine po ma, but thank you for the offer.”

“Alright then dear, but please, if you need anything and I mean anything. Don’t hesitate to tell me, okay?” My hands were starting to shake as I looked up towards the ceiling.

“Okay, ma.”

“Have a safe flight, my love, we’ll see you soon.”

I nodded my head as if she could see me and ended the call. I tightly clutched my necklace.

It has been five years, Ember Claire, get it together. I don’t have the luxury to breakdown right now or ever.

Fuck.

I can’t breathe.

My chest is tightening and my breathing is growing faster by the second.

“Baket ko, breathe for me.” [“My wife, breathe for me.”]

I quickly shook my head, Why did I have to remember that distant memory right now?

Just when I’m on the verge of a panic attack, my phone rings again. I stared at my phone for a few seconds before grabbing it with a shaky hand. I didn’t bother looking at the contact name.

“Rinig ko magkaka-emergency board meeting daw ang Onychinus Group, beh. Baka naman sumipot ka na this time?” I let out a heavy sigh as I leaned my head on the seat’s cushion. I caught wind of that news minutes ago from mom and the twins, as expected, Tara called.

“Hanggang kailan ka ba mananatili d’yan sa Japan ha? You’ve been gone long enough, Em. We both know you can’t keep getting away with not attending the board meetings. You were just lucky enough that he who shall not be mentioned and the board members let you off the hook. But I’m afraid you won’t be able to skip this one.”

“I gathered that, Tara. Don’t worry, I already booked a flight.” Biglang natahimik si Tara. Which happens once in a blue moon.

“Ang bilis kausap? What made you change your mind, Em?”

I tightly held on the pendant of my necklace before answering. Trying my goddamn best to ignore the lump on my throat and to not let her hear my voice breaking.

“What’s there to lose, Tara? It’s not like he’s going to remember me anyway.”

Four hours and forty nine minutes later, I’m walking on the floors of the same building I told myself that I’ll never set foot in again but life has its ways huh?

I expected the stares. After all, it has been five years since I ever showed my face here. I kept a straight face despite the whispers and stares directed towards me as I quickened my steps. I forced out a breath as I pushed the doors of the conference room open and noticed that there was only one seat left. I walked towards my seat. The same damn seat, like I never fucking left.

“I apologize for keeping everyone waiting.”

I avoided everyone’s eyes as I sat down on the executive chair. I just need to get through this damn meeting. I have to keep myself calm despite the fixated gaze from him.

“No need to fret, dear. Now, shall we start the meeting?” I nodded alongside the other board of directors and diverted my attention towards the screen at the other end of the table.

“Currently there are rumors floating around that one of our competitors is eyeing to buy out the majority of shares of other board members.” Mrs. Qin’s executive secretary revealed articles on the screen. Everyone seated at the table remained quiet. I stole a glance at Onychinus Group’s Chairwoman, Sylvia Qin, his mother. Despite the news, she held a powerful gaze towards the screen. She straightened her back and cleared her throat.

“While I have the utmost respect and loyalty for everyone present here, I’m afraid that I would need everyone’s cooperation if we want this to stay as a rumor. I am hoping that my point comes across to everyone.”

“If cooperation is what we’re talking about here then why don’t we question, Mrs. Claire, here who has been fucking absent for five years but still remains to be a major shareholder and part of the board of directors at that!”

I would’ve been fine with whatever he said but him saying missus might make my situation more difficult.

“Don’t you dare speak to her that way!” Luke, who is beside me, furiously stood up and pointed at one of the members of the board.

Fuck.

This is escalating too much, too obvious.

“Luke, sit down and breathe. It’s fine.” Luke whipped his head to look at me with furrowed brows. I shook my head as Kieran pulled him down to sit.

“I understand everyone’s sentiments and while I have been physically absent in this company, I continued my work behind the scenes. The Chairwoman and Vice Chairman are very much aware of that and I would like to think that if they didn’t see my value in this company, they would’ve removed me from the board of directors with no hesitation. Rest assured that my shares will stay with me, if I deemed my shares to be of no use to me then I would’ve sold them years ago.”

“That being said, I wouldn’t tolerate such words in this company next time. If there isn’t anything else left to say then this meeting is adjourned.” Everyone nodded their heads towards Mrs. Sylvia as they began to head out the conference room, until only him, his parents, the twins, and I remained.

I got up from my seat to leave.

“Some vacation you took, Mrs. Claire, is it? What? You were so busy with your husband that you never bothered to grace us with your presence?”

“Sylus Qin! Where are your manners?” I never heard mom raise her voice like that before. I remained unfazed as I looked straight into his ruby eyes.

“My personal life is nothing of your concern, Mr. Qin.”

“Hah! Not my concern? Then care to explain to me this, Mrs. Ember Claire, sino ka ba? Bakit ang lakas ng kapit mo dito sa pamilya ko? Then what? After this you’re going to leave your position in this company for another five years?” I clenched my fist behind the table.

Breathe, Em.

Breathe.

“I’ll stay as long as Onychinus Group needs me, Mr. Qin, but I don’t see the need to explain that to you.”

“It just boggles my mind for years. How they seem to never bat an eye in regard to you. This is a family owned business so unless pinakasalan mo nang patago ang isa sa mga kapatid ko, you shouldn’t be part of the board of directors.”

“We’ve only met today, Mr. Qin, so I don’t see why I have to explain my whole history to you. Whether you like it or not, I am part of this company.” Before he could utter another word, the conference room doors opened and my breath hitched.

“Mommaaa!”

No.

No!

Sola came running towards me. She hugged my leg as I kneeled down to her height.

“Em! I’m so sorry! I was grabbing a drink for both of us when she suddenly bolted.” I let out a sigh as I carried Sola, trying my best to cover her from his gaze as much as possible.

“It’s alright, Zayne.” I gave him a small smile as I turned towards mom and dad.

“I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Qin, but I have to head out.” I can see their emotional gaze towards Sola but this isn’t the time nor the place for me to introduce her to them.

“We understand, dear. Go on, we won’t keep you.” I held the back of Sola’s head as I headed towards Zayne who was already by the door. I quickened my steps carefully as I’m carrying Sola. My heart is beating too fast. I only felt relief when we were already in the car, heading away from that damned building.

Sylus shook his head as he placed both his hands inside the pockets of his slacks.

My gaze remained at the door for a few seconds after she just left.

That kid. Why did she feel so familiar?

I sighed and leaned my back on the conference table. Why is everything about that woman so puzzling yet oddly familiar?

Who is she really? and why did I get a weird feeling when I saw her with that man?

“I know how you feel towards her but we didn’t raise you to be like that towards anyone, Sy.” I was already expecting this from mama.

“But can’t you understand where I am coming from, ma? Ember Claire is an anomaly in my life. I just don’t understand why you all act like this towards her?”

“While be that as it may, the way you treated her wasn’t right. You know that, Sylus.”

I knew I was in deep shit if Papa also chimed in. I sighed as I looked up at the ceiling. My parents have always been my voice of reason but anything regarding Claire, makes me feel like I’ve been pushed to a dead end.

“I know, ma, pa, I’m sorry.”

“You know that apology isn’t supposed to be directed sa amin ng papa mo.”

“Yes, I’ll apologize to her when she comes by, ma, pa. If there isn’t anything else, I’ll be heading back to my office.” Mama nodded so I gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the conference room. Not long after, Luke and Kieran tailed behind me.

“Kuya, are you mad at her perhaps?” Kieran was the one who broke the silence surrounding us.

“If it matters, single pa rin kami, kuya.”

“Tsk.” I shook my head after hearing Luke’s remark. I need to know what that woman has against my family to hold this much power in the Onychinus Group.

After their kids left the conference room, Sylvia let out a heavy sigh and placed her palms tirelessly on the table.

“Am I still doing the right thing, darling?”

“I never doubted you for even a millisecond, Sylvia. You know I’d stand by you even how fucked your decision would be.”

“haha! oh well, somehow and in some crazy way by fate, our son made things easier for me.”

“You’re still in your prime, darling, but why do you already sound like you’re retiring.”

“Loko! I meant that the chess pieces are finally moving. Em is the next in line for the position of Chairwoman of the Onychinus Group and now that she’s back home, despite the circumstances with our son, we’re heading in the right direction, darling.”

I carried a sleeping Sola as Zayne held the door to their home.

“You still remember your room here?”

“Oo naman, Zayne, ‘no. Higa ko lang ‘tong si Sola, ha?”

“Actually, I’ll do that. So, why don’t you head to the breakfast bar to rest?” I gave Zayne a pixelated look but handed him my daughter anyways. He winked before heading up with Sola.

Hay, bakit kaya wala pa silang anak?

As I turned to head to the breakfast bar, I let out a loud shriek as loud poppers went off.

“Surpriiiise!” There she was, my best friend with open arms, like she didn’t just almost give me a heart attack. Either way, I ran towards her to give her a long hug.

“Baliw ka ba?! Paano kung atakihin ako sa puso sa pa surprise mo?!” Tumawa lang ang loka.

“Huwag mo nga ako masyado patawanin!”

“At bakit-“ That’s when I noticed her baby bump while hugging her.

Wait.

Baby bump?!

Oh my god!

“Cassie Li?! Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?!”

“Sus! Kung sinabi ko ba sa’yo, uuwi ka ba?”

“Oo naman ‘no! Teka nga doon muna tayo sa couch at huwag dito sa high chair. Delikado na sa baby ‘no.”

“Babies, actually.”

“Bakla ka ng taon! Worth it naman pala ang tagal niyo maka-buo kung tatlo agad- aray!” Maka hampas naman ‘tong si buntis!

“In fairness kay Zayne ha! Lakas ng swimmers niya- Maawa ka naman sa braso ko, te! Pasalamat ka talaga at dala mo mga inaanak ko.”

“You know, I’m not even going to ask how you’re feeling because I already know but, Em, what are you going to do now?” I bit my lower lip out of anxiety. One thing’s for sure…

“I’ll keep my daughter away from Sylus Qin, no matter the cost.”

“No offense, bff ha? but don’t you think Sylus deserves to know that he has a daughter too?”

“Oo nga maka ‘my daughter’ ka naman ginawa mo mag-isa, gurl?” We both immediately turned our heads to the one who spoke. I abruptly stood up when I saw who the person was.

“Taraaa!” She chuckled and opened her arms as I ran towards her to give her a very tight hug.

“Tama na! Hindi porket hindi mo mayakap ng mahigpit si buntis ay ipapasa mo na sa akin!”

“Sorry ha! Bawal ka ba ma-miss? Porket may Greyson ka na- Aray! Kanina pa kayo maka hampas wagas ah!”

“Don’t say bad words kasi, Em!”

“Nye nye nye.”

“Hoy, ate ko! Bakit ka may dalang bote e halatang bondat ako oh?”

“Itong Cassie Mondragon na ‘to alangan non-alcoholic ‘yung dala ko kaya umupo ka na sa tabi niyang si jontis at kukuha lang ako ng champagne glasses.”

I smiled as I looked at Tara quickly making her way to the kitchen to grab us glasses. Somehow, despite how fucked up my situation is back here in the Philippines, they’re giving me the normalcy that I’ve been craving for in Japan.

“Hey, piso for your thoughts?” I let out a weak laugh. She held my hand as I tried my best to give her a smile. While Tara quietly set the champagne and glasses down and initiated a group hug as my body started to shake. I tightly held onto them as I screamed and finally broke down.

September 16

Five years ago.

The phone rang once until Sylus answered my call.

“Miss mo na ako agad, baket ko?” [My wife]

I rolled my eyes at his question.

“Alam mo ang workaholic mo. Nakalimutan mo na ba kung anong araw ngayon, mister ha?”

“Of course not! It’s our anniversary ‘no! That’s why I’m already on my way to start my big bike, sweetie.”

“Haaay! Alright but you don’t have to hurry hm? Hindi naman ako aalis dito sa manor, silly! Drive safe, promise?”

“I promise, baket ko. I’m on my way. I love love love you!” He even sent kisses through the phone. Gosh, this man!

“I love you sobra, Mr. Sylus Qin!” I smiled as I ended the call.

Without any clue in my mind that the call would be the last time I’ll ever hear his voice.

Sylus got into a bad collision on his way home. He survived but he’s in a coma because of a wound on his head.

I remember that day like it was just yesterday.

It was exactly 3 weeks when his Neuro doctor told us the most devastating news I ever heard.

Sylus regained consciousness earlier for less than 3 minutes before he had to be sedated.

He didn’t recognize me. He didn’t even utter a word. He just gave me a look like I was some stranger to him.

My husband.

My husband whom I love dearly with all my heart, he’s the biggest organ in my life that pushes me to keep on fighting, doesn’t remember who I am like I’ve been forcefully and completely ripped off from his life.

“This is the CT scans of his brain. This is his brain activity while unconscious and this is when he regained consciousness and… saw you, Mrs. Claire. It rarely happens but with your husband’s case, trying to remember you or the past you shared, could be life threatening… I deeply apologize, Mrs. Claire, but there’s nothing we could do.”

“So you’re telling me that I should just accept this reality? The idea that in my husband’s head, I am nothing but a forgotten memory?”

How is any of this fair? I thought in life we’re supposed to write our own fate but now fate is forcing me to carve out a life I don’t want to live in?

I nodded towards the doctor and cleared my throat before looking at mama, papa, and the twins.

“Can I get a moment alone with Sylus… please?”

“Take all the time you need, dear.” I gave mama a smile, thanking her.

I opened the door to his hospital suite and slowly closed it. Leaning on the closed door, trying to gather any strength I have left in me. I slowly made my way towards him. I sat beside my husband and held his left hand, our wedding ring, shining despite the soul crushing decision I have to take.

“Ang daya ‘no, lakay ko? [My husband] Hindi man lang tayo nakapag-anniversary.” I brought his hand on my cheek, seeking the warmth it used to give me. Desperately holding onto him because I might never have the chance to hold him like this ever again.

“I wish we had more memories… m…more… more ti…me… oh god…” I reached my left hand towards his heart.

“Is there some way where this heart of yours… won’t forget me?” I chuckled as tears ran down my cheeks.

“Bullshit. That only happens in movies.”

I kissed his palm as I tried to remove our wedding ring from his finger but it seems like fate is laughing at me as I couldn’t easily remove the ring seamlessly. I let out a tired sigh as I managed to remove his wedding ring.

I gave myself a few seconds to compose myself as I fixed his hair away from his eyes. I gave my husband a long kiss on the forehead, hoping that maybe in the future, he’ll remember me without me losing him in the process.

“Mahal na mahal na mahal kita. Wala akong choice sa desisyon ko, Sylus, pero kailangan… kailangan ko lumayo kasi ayaw ko na ikaw ang masasaktan sa proseso nang pag-alala sa akin. Okay na kahit hindi mo ako maalala, hm? Basta pro…mise mo sa akin… na lagi ka nang mag-iingat lagi… ha?” It might really be the last time I get to hold my husband’s hand, the very same hand that has given me so much warmth but this time… I can’t feel him.

I wiped the tears away as I barely managed to compose myself before walking out of the room, completely walking out of my husband’s life.

Mama was the first person I locked eyes with outside the room, as I shakily drew a breath, I made up my mind.

“Ma, I need you to erase my existence in this family.” Papa held the twins back.

“Ate Em! Baka naman may… may ibang paraan? Hindi ka naman basta-basta makakalimutan ni kuya!”

I shook my head and tried my damn best to show them that I’m determined to see my decision through.

“What do you need me to do, dear?”

“Mama, please!” Kieran never shouted so desperately like that before and while it was hard to see the twins’ heartbreaking… I have no other choice. I will never risk Sylus’ wellbeing just to remember me.

“I want our whole manor sweeped from top to bottom. Anything that is related to me will be kept hidden in one of my properties. I need the manor to be just like how it is when my hus- when Sylus was still single. Anything regarding me will be redacted from the company’s records.”

“Are you sure, anak?” Was it even possible to say no? haha…

“Yes, ma.” She nodded and gave me a tight hug. I wanted to cry but there were no more tears left for me to let out. Mama kissed my temple before cupping my cheek.

“If that’s what you need. It’ll be done. Should I have a team sent out to clean the manor?”

“I’ll do it, ma, I’ll let you know once I’m done packing my things.” She nodded as I bid goodbye to them. I didn’t dare turn my back and held my head high because I have to be strong. I need to be strong to keep him safe.

Passengers for Flight PR 3109 bound for Narita International Airport. Please begin boarding the aircraft.