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me: have you ever heard the sound of someone breaking down uncontrollably
friend: no
me:
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me: mom I need a new bottle of toothpaste
mom: finish the one you have sweetie
me: it's empty
mom: *squeezes the bottle and out comes extra toothpaste, Henry the VIII, michael jackson's corpse, the missing malaysian airplane, and 4 prisoner refugees*
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Hi, my cat is really annoying in the morning.
How can I stop my cat from jumping onto my belly from the IKEA shelf?
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You: Burger King
Me, an intellectual: Monarch of Hamburg
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Lietuva. 1991-ųjų Sausio 13-oji: ,,Laisvės troškimo tankais nesutraiškysi” Lithuania. 13th of January, 1991: “You will not crush the longing for freedom with your tanks”
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