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Not all pain leads to a better self, but sometimes it leaves a big question to self-worth.

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I know this transformation is painful, but you're not falling apart; you're just falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful.

— William C. Hannan

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I hope I survive

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Year 3: Commitment

Today, I am celebrating my third year in the Lord!

Three years ago, I encountered God during the celebration of Father’s Day. At first, I doubted that God will speak to me at that time because I expected that the sermon was meant to be for fathers. But there is no such thing as a coincidence to God because that day where God revealed Himself to me as my father in heaven. A father that welcomed his prodigal son with so much love and affection. I remember the worship song played that day, “You’re a good good father, it’s who you are and I am loved by you, it’s who I am”. I believe that was the moment I finally came to my Father’s home.

For three years of being in the Lord, I can say that it is not an easy christian life. It is uncomfortable learning of the truths. It takes you out of your comfort zone. It pushes you beyond your limits. It tests your character, your heart, your desire, your dreams, and even your money. It is a long process of becoming what God wants you to be. There will be seasons where you groan and weep, where you seek and wait, and where you bounce back and grind. But in those days and seasons, God never changes. When you experienced His unconditional love and understand the cross, you will never be the same again.

Today, God reminded me of my commitment to Him.

Commitment to God is not just based on your circumstances, not situational, not seasonal, not based on your emotions.

Just like any other relationships, be committed even when we are in the midst of hardship, pain, sadness, uncertainty, emptiness, grief, and affliction. Commitment has to do with our relationship with God, not partial but unwavering commitment to Christ.

A successful life, the good life, the righteous Christian life requires something more than a contribution, though every contribution is valuable. Ultimately it requires commitment—whole-souled, deeply held, eternally cherished commitment to the principles we know to be true in the commandments God has given.

TEACHINGS OF PRESIDENTS OF THE CHURCH: HOWARD W. HUNTER

Side story: Since last week of May, my sister in Christ keeps greeting me “happy birthday” every morning without both us knowing that June is my spiritual birthday month! Until one Sunday service, I remembered it and we both in awe and amazed in the realization of how great the love of God despite the current spiritual condition.

This photo was taken during our seeking in Peniel last January, it reminded me of the prayer from lyrics of The Blessings by Kari Jobe “May God’s face shine upon me.

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Celebrating Life: My 22 Life Lessons

Disclaimer: These lessons and opinions are purely based on subjective experiences and some of these may found not agreeable with you. I understand yet respect must be observed.

As I celebrate my birthday this 2019, I planned to share my life realizations about my 22 years of existence. Getting this far is really a gift from God. I hope as you read this, you discover something that can encourage you. Happy reading!

Life, in general, is fair because “life” treated everyone unfair. But it is not about the unfairness but it is about how we live.

One of the most important things in life is not what we can do but who we are. Workout our “being” not our “doing”.

Appreciate God’s delay. It is always worth it.

When things don’t happen in the way you expected it to happen, never ended it that way or make a conclusion. Never give up.

Dream big dreams but also dream for others.

We can do things that out of our comfort zone when we set our mind to it.

Don’t afraid to be alone. Aloneness is not same to loneliness.

Growth doesn’t happen overnight. Trust and enjoy the process.

People have different ways how to fill their love tanks, it is best and fun to know it.

Know when to try again and when to give up.

Not everyone will consider us as their friends but don’t let it stops us to love them.

If we extend kindness to other, then we should extend it too to ourselves.

Speak life to our self. Self-encouragement is a must.

Our scars are manifestation of our won battles. Be proud of it.

Open our mind to different perspectives and possibilities. Learning is a lifetime process. It helps us to understand life more.

In every setback and failures, always remember our “whys.” Our reasons will always be our motivation to go on.

It is okay not to be okay. But we must learn self-management.

Do everything with love.

Be mentored, be discipled.

Things and even people can’t fill our heart’s emptiness, only God can do it.

Sometimes, God might be silent in our lives, but He always hears us.

Best decision in life is to follow God.

In fact, I never thought my experiences would lead me to where I am now. Yes, it is never and will never be an easy life. There will be highs and lows, victories and failures, joy and sorrow, pain of discipline and pain of regret. But we should learn to believe that in order for us to experience life we should experience death – loss, pain, sadness, setbacks, and death to oneself.

Above all, life is nothing without God. To live is to die and to die is to gain Christ.

Thank you for celebrating with me today.

For God’s glory alone.

[marielbalermo]

Mentorship: Why Accountability is a Must?

Maybe you open and decide to read this because it caught your interest or maybe just a mere curiosity. Or maybe, it is meant for you to read this because it might be the thing that you needed now.

One of the blog series I really want to write is about how mentorship should be part of our lives. How someone can give you wisdom and life lessons that really help you in your life especially in the area of decision-making. How their perspectives impact your own perceptions. How their experiences teach you to be brave enough to embrace every challenge that you may encounter. I really believe in the idea and the importance of having at least one person in your life aside from your parents or teachers who really can be your mentor. A mentor who will pursue you to grow not only in one aspect of your life but in every aspect. A mentor who will celebrate with every victory you have. A mentor who will encourage and be there for you during your lowest of low. A mentor who will rebuke you with love and teach you with discipline. And above all, a mentor who will always pray for you and rally with you.

In this first entry of mentorship101, I asked my mentor, Ms. Chari Grace Brown, five (5) questions about why accountability is really a must have in life. I do hope and pray that as you read further, God will put something in your heart — a desire to look and pray for an accountability partner.

What is accountability?

According to the Merriam dictionary, accountability is  the quality or state of being accountable especially when an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions. 

Then, I asked my mentor for a different perspective – in christian perspective. According to her, “Accountability means may pakialam ka doon sa buhay ng isang tao (also inside discipleship din) and in the same way ina-allow mo na pakialaman yung buhay mo. Kasi you can not really say na accountability partner mo siya pero hindi ka naman niya ina-allow na pakialaman ang buhay mo. Why? Kasi ang susunod na word sa accountability ay “partners” so ang ibig sabihin, yung accountability ay partnership siya. Partnership siya na may pakialam kayo sa buhay ng isat-isa. Concern kayo in a differ way, concern ka na may gagawin ka. Hindi lang siya pwede matapos sa “ay concern ako sayo” na hanggang doon lang. Dapat, “concern ako sayo at may gagawin ako about it whether mapahamak tayo parehas diyan or sasamahan kita para ‘di tayo mapahamak.” Para sa ikabubuti mo yung accountability, para mapagsabihan ka, para ma-correct ka, para maturuan ka, at para ma-rebuke ka. Malalim na magkaibigan lang ang pwedeng magkaroon ng accountability sa isat-isa. It means dapat may full trust kayo sa isat-isa. Kasi iba din yung ate/kuya ka lang na nagka-counsel kasi ang ibig sabihin nun ay inaalagan mo lang siya, hindi siya matuturing na accountability partners.

Ang accountability partners dapat parehas niyong pina-pakialaman ang buhay ng isat isa.“

Since accountability means to meaningfully interfere or to meddle in one’s life maybe you might ask, how far should you get involved in a person’s  life or what areas should you let someone interfere in your life? Are there boundaries and limitations in accountability relationship?

Bounds of Accountability

My mentor previously stated the bounds and limitations in terms of discipleship. She said, “In discipleship, your mentor is your accountability partner. Hanggang saan lang si mentor? Actually si mentor pag inallow ni disciple, pwede niya pakialaman lahat. Bakit? Discipleship is pakialaman ng buhay. Di pwedeng dinidisciple mo yung isang tao tapos hindi ka accountable sa kanya pagdating sa finances, or ‘di ka accountable sa kanya pagdating sa work niya, or ‘di ka accountable pagdating sa devotion niya. Hindi pwedeng ang limits mo lang ay devotion, prayer life, church life kasi hindi siya relationship.”

Accountability will always be about relationship.

She added, “In my experience, sa mga disciples ko whether about sa family, finances, church, work, relationships lahat na-oopen kasi I don’t think full accountability iyon kapag nalilimitahan mo. Ang lagi kong iniisip at lagi kong sinasabi, kapag hindi mo kayang pagkatiwalaan iyong tao na iyon sa isang aspeto ng buhay mo, ‘di mo siya accountability partner. Kaya mo isiwalat lahat sa kanya even the littlest details nasasabi mo without hesitation. For me, I am not speaking for all, as accountability to many people, wala akong limitations sa mga aspeto pero may boundary ako. Ang boundary ko which is ang lagi kong in mind eh dapat hindi ito mao-offend. Si accountability partner is pwede mo siyang i-teach, i-rebuke, i-correct, pero lagi mong iisipin sa ikakabuti niya at hindi siya mao-offend. Kasi lagi mo pa rin naman siyang kayang i-correct, i-teach, at i-rebuke in a good way. Gagamit ka lang ng tamang terms para kahit may boundary or kahit walang boundary careful ka kasi still pinagkatiwalaan ka niyan tas sasaktan mo lang siya”

I realize that there is one thing that accountability relationship should be bounded of and that is love. Because accountability is not merely a relationship label of being responsible to someone’s life but it is about loving him/her despite of the what ifs.

Trust is one of the things needed in accountability relationship. Perhaps, you have an experience wherein you gave your full trust to someone and yet they failed to keep it. So, you ended up becoming fearful of trusting anyone, and that’s okay, dear. But if the day comes where you are ready to give your trust again and might ask me what are the things to consider in looking for suitable accountability partner. Read on.

How to look for the most suitable accountability partner?

1.You can fully trust him/her in all aspects of your life.

“Una, kailangan kaya mo siyang pagkatiwalaan ng lahat ng aspeto ng buhay mo whether it be spiritual or non-spiritual, whether it be inside the church, inside your workplace, inside your life, outside your life, even inside your wallet, outside your wallet , inside your heart, outside your heart. Dapat kaya mo siyang pagkatiwalaan ng buo.”

2. He/She must be spiritually mature.

“Pangalawa, spiritually mature kasi pinag-uusapan natin accountability inside and outside spiritual life. Dapat spiritually mature siya. Dapat nasa circle of influence mo siya, hindi siya pwedeng nasa circle of concern mo kasi ida-drag ka lang niya. Kasi ang laging aim ng accountability is ma-resolve yung mga problema, hindi ka mapahamak, at may mapagsabihan ka na na may full concern sayo.”

3. You must love each other whatever it takes.

“Pangatlong bagay, dapat at the end of the day mahal niyo yung isat-isa. Bakit? kasi panigurado may mga panahong mag-ka-clash kayo ng ideas. Hindi kayo magkakaintindihan but in the end, mahal niyo pa rin yung isat-isa. Whether you will agree and disagree pero dapat mahal niyo isat-isa.”

Since accountability is relationship, just like any relationship, there are supplements to sustain your accountability relationship.

Supplements to sustain your accountability relationship

1.Constant communication is the key.

“Dapat constant yung communication niyo. Kasi di pwedeng accountability partner mo siya pero hindi naman kayo nag-uusap. Kasi hindi pwedeng may ma-miss-out siyang detail or ‘di pwedeng ma-perceive niya yung sitwasyon mo na kung ano lang yung ngayon dapat alam niya yung background ‘yan, like ba’t ka nag arrive sa ganyang naransan mo or bakit mo pinasok ‘yang ganyang sitwasyon. “

2. Know your accountability partner’s love language.

“Dapat alam mo yung love language niya. Saan siya masasaktan at hindi masasaktan. For example, words of affirmation yung accountability partner mo. Hindi mo siya sasabihan na, “Ikaw ang bobo mo naman pagdating dyan.” Hindi dapat ganun, ang dapat sasabihin mo sa kanya, “Di ka naging wise nung ginawa mo ‘to”. Dapat alam niyo yun para hindi niyo masaktan yung isat-isa. Kasi once na masaktan niyo yung isat-isa, it will fall down.”

3. Don’t break each others’ trust.

“Pangatlo, huwag na ‘wag niyo baliin yung tiwala ng isat-isa. Pag sinabi sayo na sayo lang dapat sayo lang. May mga bagay na maari mong i-share sa iba para gawing examples or illustrations, pero pag sinabi niyang “critical ‘to” “sa atin lang ‘to” then dapat sa inyo lang. Mahalaga yung trust sa accountability.”

We already know what accountability is all about  – its meaning, limitations and boundaries, the characteristics of suitable accountability partner, and the supplements for its sustenance. But this blog objective is to answer one big question.

Why accountability is a must?

I admire how my mentor explained and discussed it to me not based on her experience but based on truth – based on Jesus’ experience.

“Since Jesus is the perfect and only model in this Christian life, sa kanya pa rin tayo mag-aarrive. Kasi even si Jesus ay nagkaroon siya ng accountability partner. That’s why si Jesus may crowd which is yung thousands tapos meron din siyang 12 disciples, pero si Jesus may inner circle — and that is John the Beloved, si Peter the rock on which the church will stand, and James yung kapatid. Accountabiity partner niya yung mga yun kahit aakyat siya ng bundok, everytime na i-wi-withdraw niya yung sarili niya sa crowd at pag nagdadasal siya, iyon yung mga look-out niya. “

Even Jesus has accountability, then ibig sabihin there is power in accountability.

“Kasi hindi meant yung life, yung christian life, ng mag isa kasi di mo kakayanin. Kasi you will always fall kapag wala kang nakakausap about your life. Kasi dapat meron man lang isa or dalawang taong nakakaintindi sayo. Kasi they will be wise counselors of your life. Yung tao nga daw na nakikinig sa wise counsel he is more than wise kasi nakikinig siya.”

According to Galatians 6:2 ” Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. “

“Ibig sabihin may papasanin ka daw, at kailangan may kasama kang pumapasan dun and that will be your accountability partner. Kasi lahat ng papasanin mo anumang aspeto, kasama mo siya dun. Kasi si Jesus din, ganun din ang ginawa niya. Wala na tayong ibang tutularan kundi si Jesus na kahit siya mismo may accountability partner so should we. “

“Because we can not live this Christian life na roller coaster naman talaga na alone. Kailangan may kasama ka, may nakakaintindi sayo, at mayroong tao grabe yung concern sayo to the point he/she will correct you, rebuke you, teach you, and in-a-allow mo siyang gawin yun sayo.”

To conclude, I have learned that accountability is a must-have in our life. Not because we don’t want to feel alone, not because we don’t want to feel different but because, Jesus made it as an example. He, himself, taught us the importace of accountability. Truly indeed, no man is an island. We can’t manage everything by ourselves. Aside from our need for God in our lives, we also need an accountability partner. After all, it is also God’s design for us to have a partner – not just romantically but in other kinds of relationships.

Thank you for reading.

To God be the Glory!

[marielbalermo]

Saving Grace: How God Encountered Me?

This story may sound just another superhero-themed movie where he/she conquered evil and rescued someone. This one, however, is not fictional story to tell, this is my living testimony.

My life before I met God was dark, lonely, and hopeless. It gave me the worst memories, the deepest scars, and the closest experience to death. Maybe you’ll ask,

“You? Your Facebook posts make it seem that you are happy and successful. How come you are lonely?“

Or you may say,

“Sad? Lonely? Depressed? You are a psych major right? How come you feel that way? You should know how to manage that.”

But YES. I was unhappy with my life. I was discontented with the blessings I had. I was hopeless. I was hurt. I became rebellious and miserable. I became that before I encountered God. It was really a lot of pain to take that time to the point that it affects my well-being.

Maltreatment left many scars. I experienced the sorrow of losing relationships, the anguish of not choosing myself. We all have different pains, may have different graveness but we always have one pain that may cause the biggest of changes.

I reached the point that I searched God through different churches and yet I did not found Him. The hope in me was gradually fading. The reality, my future, almost everything became unclear. I gave up but I continued to live and hide in the dark. I continued to live in misery.

The day came where I questioned, “Gusto mo pa ba akong maniwala sayo? Then do something, Lord. I am tired of looking for you.”

That’s when God, in his unconditional kindness and benevolence, intervened in my life, rescued me, and redeemed me. He really sent someone to come back to life, to come back to Jesus.

I remember the day when he welcome me like I was his prodigal child. How every worship song reminded me of His goodness and unconditional love. How He, my Father, saved me through His grace — through the cross.  

That very moment is the best thing ever happened in my life — to finally found peace in God’s presence.

Truly, Father is the God of order. He allowed pain for you to have strength. He allowed sufferings for it will become your testimony. He allowed sorrows for it will become incomparable to the joy that is coming.

Knowing Jesus and walking in faith will be an everyday decision. There are still pain, struggles, and difficulties when you decided to follow Jesus. But God provides something extraordinary to his people — a new heart, a new perspective, a new creation.

God gives hope, meaning and purpose in your life. He will comfort you. He will strengthen you. He will bless you.

I am still healing. I am still a work in progress.

But I am a warrior and child of God.

God alone be glorified!

[marielbalermo]

Graduation Testimony: Acads or Orgs? Why Not Both!

Student – leader \ˈstü-dənt ˈlē-dər\ noun whether in a formal position or not, nurtures abilities in themselves and others in order to make an ethical and socially just impact on campus or in the larger community.

This is my testimony about how God did his holy work and blessed my life – a journey towards victory paved with failures.

I am one of those students who believe that,

“Learning is not acquired from the confines of the corners of a classroom alone. It can be found everywhere.”

Stepping out of those boundaries means stepping out from your comfort zone. Taking that first crucial step in my journey of a thousand miles was difficult because I was initially held back by my own apprehensions, insecurities, and fear of rejection. It was daunting to take the mantle of a leader after enduring so many heartbreaks caused by past disappointments and mistakes. It was even harder to stand up, make the right choices, and do whatever it takes to reach journey’s end because such things were holding you back – that was until God called and reminded me to serve with joy and humility and not to be enthralled by fame and power. I obeyed Him with the thought, “Lord, let me serve You through these people.”

I became an active member of an organization within the Department of Psychology wherein I participated in several of their activities. Eventually, I was given a chance to become a member of the committee and take part in the organization of events during the annual Psych Season. Afterwards, I was duly elected as an officer within the organization and became part of the Executive Committee (ExeComm) during my junior year in the university. I consider this year as my “golden year” despite the 3 to 4 hours of sleep I was lucky enough to have, I also lost weight, gained another layer of eyebags, encountered some fun sabaw moments, sneaked sleep during some of my classes and examinations (most memorable was during our final examination in Clinical Psych), skipped meals to save some money for photocopies and other supplies, went home at around 1 o’clock in the morning despite of my 7:30 AM class the next day, crammed my assignments in jeepneys and inside the train, got low scores in a few tests, collapsed and got hospitalized for days within two consecutive years, met different people through fund-raising projects, talked to professionals from various fields, reached out and provided aid to less-unfortunate people during the season of giving, and handled major events. During these times I became adept at troubleshooting and budgeting and I’ve learned to extend myself in service so that I can provide a holistic kind of leadership.

Experiences and values, likewise, are not exclusively found in books. Fortitude, maturity, patience, courage, trust, commitment, hopefulness, excellence, and faith are the values imparted to me by this organization. I’m not saying that being a part of an organization is the only way to develop such values, rather it takes you a step – a big step – further in improving your character. Being a student-leader requires both compassion and passion – compassion to serve people and the passion to lead them. Always choose to work while still having fun, seek growth and excellence, and have the determination to rise again after every downfall. Above all, put your trust and confidence in the Lord. Faith in God leads to many victories, for instance, when He rewarded our efforts during the First Gawad Pandayan Award, Top 3 Best Organization in the University, Best Department in our College and now, I am about to graduate with flying colors. Indeed, all things work together for good to those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)

This will never be possible without the help of these people. I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to the following people.

To the PUP Psychology Students Association for being my home for years and giving me a huge family. For sheltering me with love and hope. For trusting my potentials and abilities. For bringing out the best in me and for letting me experience the hardships that come with success. You will forever be in my heart.

To the PUPPSA ExeComm (2016-2017) and co-volunteers, for the amazing rollercoaster ride of a term with you. To our friendships, midnight talks, BPI/BDO sessions, long meetings, sabaw moments, and to all the stories behind our achievements. I share this victory with you. Cheers to our success!

To BiKada and PorTu (Batch 2018), for being my favorite humans. For sharing all the comforts and love, friendship and kindness, victories and failures. I love you all. I will always appreciate your existence, guys! Finally, we made it!

To my family and relatives, for your support and love in everything I do. Your encouragements, faith in me and provisions helped me to have the confidence and guts to reach my dreams. I am grateful to have every one of you.

To my parents, for their unconditional love, emotional, moral, and financial support. For extending your arms to embrace my weaknesses and failures. For wiping out the tears and for encouraging me every time I lose hope. For tapping my back and reminding me of my worth and strengths. Thank you for being more than my parents. I love you so much! You guys were the best thing that ever had happened to me. My success is your success too!

And lastly, to the Almighty Father, thank you for everything that you’ve done in my life. Without You, I am nothing. Without Your grace, I’m not saved. I owe every victory I have had and I’ll ever have to You, my Lord. I glorify You for all the blessings You’ve showered upon me – my life, my family, the gift of friendships, support, and alike. For being with me in every season of my life, for holding me during my darkest hours, and for guiding me through this path. Thank you for helping me to rise and rise again with humility after every setback. For fighting with me against every battle and through the pain, trauma, and depression. For continuing to love me even if I thought I’ve failed You.  I love you, Jesus!

All Glory belongs to You, God! Acads or Org? Why not BOTH.

Polytechnic University of the Philippines Bachelor of Science in Psychology PUPPSA, Vice President for Internal Affairs (2016 – 2017) Cum Laude

I posted this two years ago in my Facebook account. Sharing this here with the hopes to inspire someone that it was a great experience to push your self beyond your limits.

[marielbalermo]

Why I Chose Psychology?

I grew up with the dream of becoming a teacher, an engineer, and even an artist. And as you get older and expose to the reality of life — your dream becomes bigger, wider, and deeper. You don’t just want to wear those professional uniforms but to pursue excellence. Not just to earn high income but to earn fulfillment. Not just an executive positions but doing your passion.

So, why did I end up studying Psychology?

At first, it is simply because it caught my interest during our high school MAPEH class where our teacher asked us to answer some kokology test (Kokology in psychology is an attempt to interpret the behavior of different people in imaginary, sometimes abstract situations.)

I became curious as to why “coffee” was associated with “sex”, “monkey” to “money” and such. Curiosity led me to where I am today. It may seem that I do not have any personal reason for choosing this field. However, I now believe that I was brought here by something far greater than curiosity. I have a heart for helping and saving people. Huh? Saving people? How is that possible you might ask.

To be honest, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor but after considering the costs of going into med school, I became hopeless. In my mind, the most practical approach to reach my dreams is to pursue a Master’s Degree in Psychology and become a Registered Psychologist.

During my years as a student of Psychology, I quickly learned that medical doctors are not the only ones tasked with saving lives

Saving lives isn’t just about performing surgeries but can be achieved as well by healing the hurt, listening to the unheard, and extending compassion to people who are psychologically and mentally unhealthy. There are wounds that no surgical procedure or medical operation can mend. There are wounds that are not closed by stitches and bandages but by the passage of time and the long, arduous process of healing and recovery.

Psychology does offer a lot. May it be a diverse set of careers and fields of study or a unique journey towards self-discovery as you dive deeper into advanced psychological concepts. You will learn to be more empathetic, compassionate, and you will also cultivate a heart for taking care of people. You will learn how to be human.

Psychology made me believe with this principle that, “Ang trabaho ng mga psych major ay tumulong. Hindi ‘yun option but iyon yung propesyon mismo“

[marielbalermo]

The Journey of My "Story For Tomorrow" Begins

Hello, everyone!

Thank you for joining me here. The thought that you’re checking this out really means a lot to me. Your interest and support are highly appreciated. I hope you’ll enjoy knowing me and discovering my world. 🙂

But why I finally made a blog?

I have two reasons why. First, a very cliche reason which is to use this as a platform to express my thoughts, ideologies, opinions, and views regarding “life” as general. This is my passion project wherein I’ll write different stories about me, about my idealizations, or about my passion without fear.

Second, to improve my writing skills. I called it “write a thing = writings” meaning I also use this as my training ground in improving my skills in English. Honestly, I really have a bad skills in writing. I’m too conscious and afraid that someone will laugh at me because of my content and grammar construction. I really have no confidence that everything I wrote is influential or interesting. Yet, I think it’s never too late to improve.

I believe that it is possible to turn your weaknesses into strength. Maybe it takes time but it will happen once you are determined. 🙂 Taking a risk will push you beyond your limits. There is always something greater and bigger things waiting for you.

Happy Reading!

Try to look at your weakness and convert it into your strength. That’s success. – Zig Ziglar