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Here’s something that most people don’t know about me! (I say most because I drive my wife and my mom crazy about it.) I’m really, really into anything space related. Especially the goings ons with SpaceX and the new space race we find ourselves in now. This space race, however, is much healthier than the last one. This time we have private corporations pushing the limits of what can be done, without politics getting in the way. It’s all innovation.

Companies like SpaceX, Blue Origin, and Rocket Lab are all changing what we thought COULD be done with space travel. We all know what SpaceX has been up to. Their rockets are now almost completely reusable. Here’s the numbers: It costs $57 mil to build and launch a falcon 9 into orbit. (And the rocket can be reused multiple times) The Russians are charging the US over $82 million for 1 astronaut seat on their Soyuz rocket. And the new SLS rocket / Orion capsule, that still hasn’t flown, is estimated to cost $2 BILLION per launch, and is not reusable.

Long story short, when you have congressmen and senators deciding what they think is the right course of action for a subject they know next than nothing about, you get the SLS rocket program that is many years and many billions of dollars over budget. Not to mention the obligation to build production facilities in different states to appease state governments, even if its detrimental to the progress. This isn’t meant to put down nasa. Their hands are tied by politics. And there is something they do better than anyone else can; science. NASA excels in scientific advancements and discovery. Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos have both said that they would not be where they are if NASA hadn’t laid all the ground work. A “standing on the shoulders of giants” kinda thing.

Well this became a tangent... This is the stuff I engrose myself in during the week while I’m at work, with my headphones on, trying to fix Audi’s..

I guess what I’m trying to get across is that we are living in the most exciting time for space travel since the late 60s, and literally every day there is news coming out of the Starship assembly facility in Boca Chica, TX. Im gonna link a few of my favorite YouTube channels below. I reeeeally recommend checking this stuff out. Thanks for reading this. I’ll leave you with a quote from Neil Degrasse Tyson when asked why we should explore space and we have so many problems here at home: “What if the cavemen looked outside but never left the cave until they solved all their cave problems?” There’s always going to be problems here on earth. Maybe some of the solutions are out there...

Probably the most popular YT channel for everything space travel and rockets is The Everyday Astronaut. He will research a subject for months and only then when he has all his facts will he release a full documentary on the subject. He’s even got the attention of Elon himself now and the two get into full geeky back and forths on Twitter, amazing!

Next we have “What About It?” Felix has the most up to date info on everything happening with the current space race, mostly about Starship development because it’s happening so fast.

SpaceXcentric is the channel I’d recommend for people just getting into the subject His videos are pretty short and he goes through the most important info during any given week. He’s super enthusiastic and his wife is a lawyer, so sometimes she comes on the show and will talk about the legalities of what’s happening in the industry.

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I have this, thing, that if I’m dealing with something extra stressful, I feel like I need to completely isolate my self from that, thing, completely, or else my anxiety gets worse. It sounds like common sense but I’ve noticed that many, many people don’t do this.

Let me give an example...

I’ve noticed that one of the top viewed movies on Netflix right now is Contaigion, (and Outbreak) and one of the most downloaded games on mobile right now is Plague inc. And pretty much every post on social media right now is about Covid; whether it be a meme or something horrible. Even the “Good News” post my John Krasinski got to me, because almost all the news was Covid related.

My feeling is, if it’s something that’s bribing me a lot of stress and anxiety, why would I want to completely engrose myself in the topic? Why would I want to play a game, and watch a movie, about people getting sick and dying, especially now? Why would I want to watch a Trump speech when I know it’s just gonna piss me off? Is it going to help anything? Is it gonna make me do anything that I wouldn’t be doing now anyways? (Staying home and taking care of my family)

For those out there that don’t have a problem, being in the ecosystem of the drama, what’s your secret? Do you not let it get to you? Does it make you feel better? Is this just me trying to ignore a situation and hoping it all straightens itself out? This is something I’ve always wondered and would love to hear from you all.

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I don’t really know where to start. I haven’t done anything like this since the old “live journal “ days... wow.... remember live journal?

I’ll keep my first post short and simple. I have been having some pretty nasty bouts with anxiety for a while now. The worst of it came right before New Years 2020 while I was on vacation in Savannah Ga. I didn’t know if I was having side effects from the meds I was on or if I was gonna have a heart attack. I just knew that it didn’t feel right. I was able to see my primary and do a full blood lab and EKG and turns out my vitals are fine (for a 36 year old who’s overweight).

So I had to take a step back and think about what it could be. Why was I getting heart palpitations at random times during the day and would seemingly “shut down” while having dinner with my family. Well let’s see. I’m the father to a very smart, sweet, and candela, three year old. I’ve been going to the same very stressful job for the last 10 years, where I have really no where to move up, and due to the way I get paid, have made less money the past few years than before. (More on that another day). I’m trying to study for a career change, and it’s not going very well. And to top it all off, turns out, I have a long history of anxiety in my family.

Most people who know me say I’m pretty quiet, and that when I’m around a group I don’t say a whole lot. And that’s true, for the most part. But it wasn’t always like that. Truth is my mind is going a mile a minute at all times, and I feel like telling someone what I’m thinking or feeling. But I always feel like no one really cares what I think. I know that sounds really cliche and emo, but it’s true. I guess that’s why I’m making this. Even if no one ever reads a single word, that’s fine, I’m getting out what I’m thinking and feeling. It might be a long winded venting session, or just a random observation from one of my daughters cartoons.

Anyways, if you do decide to go on this adventure with me, I’d like to hear from you. I’m very open to criticism, and not I’m not stubborn enough to never take advise. I promise it won’t be overly dramatic, depressing or vague. Goodnight!