markadoo - Tumblr blog

[markadoo]

Let's say we're hanging out as friends, just you and me, when I have an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction. My cock becomes visible, you catch a solid glimpse of it, but it's back under wraps within a second.

[markadoo]

"Even if you call yourself a man I still won't think of you as a man because as a lesbian you're a good person 🤗🥰" go fuck urself

I am genuinely so worried for all the young horny dykes going into adulthood thinking there's something "problematic" / "wrong" with them for being horny because fucking tiktok lesbians think any horny dyke content is "male gaze fetishitic"

[markadoo]

one time i tried to make lasagna but i didnt have lasagna noodles so i used tortillas and i didnt have ricotta so i used plain yogurt and it was bad.

[markadoo]

Imagine if you're performing a concert as the lead singer, and suddenly, like a third of the audience starts singing in unison, loud enough to be heard clearly but not enough to drown you out. And they're not singing along, but neither are they singing a different song to trip you up. Rather, they are singing a beautifully interwoven countermelody that distinctly changes the tone of the piece.

[markadoo]

Can you clarify your sexual orientation?

[markadoo]

why dont you call me a frustrated miserable little boy to my face. please

[markadoo]

Me giving a tour of my room: So this is my ceiling...

Guy who lives in a toilet: In my country we call that the "lid"

[markadoo]

A medley of seder songs.

[markadoo]

So the thing about the pedantry surrounding the word "electrocute", right, like, the argument goes that since "electrocute" comes from "execute", if you don't die you haven't been "electrocuted". But if you receive a lethal electric shock while doing electrical work, no one would say you were "executed", you just "died". Why does the lethality aspect of execution get carried over but not the rest of the meaning?

The other thing about the pedantry surrounding the word "electrocute" is

Executed. "The condemned man was executed." He was hanged, or otherwise put to death; it is the sentence that is executed.

—Ambrose Bierce, Write It Right, 1909

[markadoo]

If you've ever played minecraft, you probably assumed that the position of the sun relative to the earth is what causes the day/night cycle. That's how it works in the real world, so it's natural to assume that it's the same in minecraft. But actually, if you mod minecraft to take out the sun, the day/night cycle still goes on as normal. So it must be something else causing it.

[markadoo]

I got a little batch of anon hate (four messages, obviously from the same person) and I thought I'd respond to them all in one post.

So our culture considers not being on the computer to be a virtuous activity, but it wouldn't actually enable me to "get my life straight" (I doubt my life will ever be "straight"). I'd just be reading physical books and doing puzzles all day and, if I get better than I am now, which will probably happen, going for long walks, going to shul, etc. Anyway, I'm not sure why we're talking about retirement since I already don't have a job.

There's no way I'm going to be able to be living off my own wages at any point within the next five years and I've come to terms with that. I don't really have much to say about this one it would just be weird to say i got 4 messages and only show 3

I'm not a furry, I think I said as much in that post, I just think it's important for him to learn about culture; he's expressed a desire to connect with the current zeitgeist more. He used to watch popular rappers' HBO specials, which he admitted he didn't enjoy but he thought he was doing something meritorious anyway. Anyway my brain was already rotted before I started using social media in 2020, and my actual fetish, ballbusting (which, yeah, I'd never talk about with him), was well established by that time.

Literally in the quote you cited I said I know there are people who would consider it objectionable. And telling someone to kill themself is a very common way for people online to express that they find that person's actions objectionable. So you're not giving me anything new to feel bad about here.

It's nice to know that you otherwise weren't going to tell me to kill myself though, that's very considerate of you.

[markadoo]

I don't think I've ever heard anyone express an opinion on the song Superman (Five for Fighting) but... it's bad, right? Like, not in any way good? Nothing fun or interesting or engaging going on musically? Meaningless and overwrought? Gestures at some sort of emotion but has no idea what that emotion might be? "Looking for special things inside of me" followed by 30 seconds of belting the phrase "inside of me"?

I can't imagine what sort of state a person might be in where they would think "You know what song would hit the spot right now? Superman (Five for Fighting)."

*reads wikipedia page*

Oh, 9/11. Yeah, that explains it.

[markadoo]

Imagining an alternate version of this culture where instead of porn addicts or coomers we're called "pornbros" and people talk about us the way they talk about techbros.

[markadoo]

Had a lovely seder last night, although it definitely pushed me to the limit, autistically speaking. I just wanted to mention a few things.

yes i was in my robe.

as always, the conversation/banter was great. my family are great conversationalists/banterers

i probably wouldn't have been so worn out if i hadn't also spent much of the day prior helping cook. but (a) i'd feel bad if i were the only one not helping (b) prepping for the seder is like. a meaningful part of pesach for me (c) the conversation/banter was great. my family (not just me and my parents but my siblings and one of my cousins, who were over early) are such great conversationalists/banterers

my (eldest) sibling wore a kippah for the first time, although they still lit the candles. im not going to speculate on what exactly that means to them but it clearly means something.

we brought back potato karpas for the first time since my grandmother died. she grew up using potatoes, my grandfather grew up using parsley. we provided both.

a new element was added to the table, olives symbolizing peace, since, you know, palestine. lip service was paid to the sufferings of the palestinians (more than i expected), but i still had to wonder what exactly "peace" meant to everybody at the table.

there was a bit of subtle competing interests between my father, grandfather, and one of my siblings, who wanted to go through the seder properly and get through all the things; my mom, her brother, and one of my cousins, who wanted it to be more social and chitchatted independently through most of maggid; and my mom's brother, who had a train to catch and made us skip barech entirely, and do a pitifully abbreviated nirtza (best part of the seder), only doing the final verse of chad gadya. my mom addressed this to my dad after the seder when all my relatives have gone, calling his behavior "too cantory".

the next seder is the one dad is hosting at his shul, so i wont be able to attend.

[markadoo]

You know I would have put the thing about emperor akihito...maybe in a trivia section at the bottom of the article? maybe not in the article at all? definitely not in the first sentence.

[markadoo]

Why are cherry petals pink? Because they have just a hint of cherry juice in them.

[markadoo]