markfranciswalker

[markfranciswalker]

The Blues, The Blahs, and Looking for a Job

Maybe it shouldn’t be this way. But it’s hard to deny: our self-image is profoundly defined by what we do for a living: “I’m a fireman. I’m a teacher. I’m a construction worker.” When we’re out of work, we tend to embrace that persona too: “I’m unemployed.” Unemployment can be a frightful assault on your self-image if you allow it. That can lead to anxiety and depression, which can lead to lack of motivation and procrastination. Which, of course, makes it even harder to solve the very problem that’s making us feel this way in the first place!

So here are five tips to help you stay focused, upbeat and productive when you’re out of work:

1. Recognize that rejection is part of any sales process (and make no mistake -- looking for a job is absolutely a sales process. You are the salesperson, and the product is you!) Professional sales people understand that rejection is inevitable. It’s a normal and necessary part of the process that ultimately leads to a successful sale. So instead of taking it as a personal insult, try reframing it into something positive. Every “No” puts you one step closer to the inevitable “Yes”. Successful sales people use the SW-4 formula after they’ve been turned down for a sale:

“Some Will (Buy). Some Won’t. So What? Someone’s Waiting (Who Will Buy)!”

2. When you get turned down for a job,  it’s easy to take it personally. It’s tempting to jump to the conclusion that you screwed up the interview. Or that you’re somehow inadequate. The truth is, there are an infinite number of reasons people get turned down for jobs. Most of these reasons have absolutely nothing to do with the job seeker. Refuse the temptation to engage in a “pity party.” It’s pointless. Just shake it off and move on. 

3. Being unemployed isn’t usually much fun, but it does have its upsides. You have more free time, for example. That’s more important than you realize Take advantage of it. Work out. Journal. Study the Bible. Learn to code. Practice to become more proficient in your skill area. Do whatever -- but DO it! Engage in some worthwhile pursuit so that when you finally DO get a job, you can look back and say, e.g., “Well, it wasn’t a total waste. I didn’t make any money, but at least I got in the best shape of my life, and improved my writing skills!”

4. When you’re unemployed, the negative emotions are going to arrive on your doorstep. Count on it, and learn how to counter them. One productive technique that psychologists recommend is to 1. Recognize when you’ve made a negative statement to yourself (e.g., “I’m never going to get a job. It’s impossible. This really sucks.” 2. Respond to that statement and "fight back” with a more optimistic thought: (e.g. “Wait a minute. That can’t be true. No one stays unemployed forever.  It’s true that I’ve been turned down for several jobs, but guess what, it happens to the best of us. It’s part of life. I’m going to choose to stay positive, regardless of how long it takes me to find a job.”

5. Expect at least three pleasant surprises every day, starting right now This really works. Try it. I know it might sound simplistic and hokey, but it works for me, and I’ll bet it works for you, too. I’ve even taught it to my kids. It’s positive thinking at its most practical. It proves the principle that whatever we expect to manifest in our life, and choose to focus our attention on, is usually what will actually come to pass (if you’ve ever had a bad start to your day, slipped into a foul mood and things kept going wrong, you’ve also proved this principle -- just in reverse!)

[markfranciswalker]

Nine requisites for contented living: Health enough to make work a pleasure. Wealth enough to support your needs. Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them. Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them. Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished. Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor. Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others. Faith enough to make real the things of God. Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.

Johann von Goethe

[markfranciswalker]

Media junkies started early in our family.

[markfranciswalker]

If you took the time today to make one ordinary person feel extraordinarily special, then you made the best of this day that God gave you.

Mark Francis Walker

[markfranciswalker]

Trying to get rich is a ridiculous goal when you think about it. Not because it's bad or foolish in itself, but because there are 49 or so other goals that are more important to your health and happiness and deserve a higher priority. They are also a hell of a lot easier to achieve.

Mark Francis Walker

[markfranciswalker]

Turning on the local TV news reminds us that evil is everywhere in our world. But it also reminds us that evil is still the exception, not the rule. News is news simply because it is the outlier, not the norm. No one reports about the thousands of airplanes that landed safely today.

Mark Francis Walker

[markfranciswalker]

The most powerful quality any human being can have is the ability to remain positive and peace-filled at the center of the soul and refuse to give in to negative emotions despite negative circumstances. It is completely contrary to human nature and it is hideously difficult, but if you can come anywhere close to achieving it, believe me, you're bulletproof.

Mark Francis Walker

[markfranciswalker]

When you're feeling sad, frustrated, afraid, hopeless and weak, at least you can take solace knowing that most all of history's greatest achievers have been in exactly the same place. They managed to survive and prosper, and so will you.

Mark Francis Walker

[markfranciswalker]

If a job, relationship, or other situation didn’t turn out well, the only path to tranquility is to accept your share of responsibility, forgive yourself, forgive others, learn whatever lessons you can, allow yourself time to grieve, and then move on. There may be perverse pleasure in endlessly replaying the coulda, shoulda, woulda, but at some point you just have to realize you’re human, it happened, and it’s history.

Mark Francis Walker

[markfranciswalker]

Emotions have their place. And when it comes to decision-making, that place is somewhere past Pluto.

Mark Francis Walker

[markfranciswalker]

When you beat yourself up over a past mistake, remember you were limited to the wisdom, knowledge, and emotional strength you had available to you at that point in time. You did the best you could with what you had. And you were working with the incurable handicap of being hopelessly human.

Mark Francis Walker

[markfranciswalker]