marktwainsuggestions-blog - Tumblr blog

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

*arranges fur coat, and sips coffee* Hi, I’m gay.

Suggestion: You’ve fallen out of touch with your friends because of life? Come in wearing a fur coat and a Starbucks coffee and out your secrets to break the awkwardness. 

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

Suggestion: You’ve fallen out of touch with your friends because of life? Come in wearing a fur coat and a Starbucks coffee and out your secrets to break the awkwardness. 

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

Good ol’ home of stupid shit but not as stupid as Yokohama right nowTM

Enjoying the holiday, not getting murder. I ate a potato chip. Life is good when you hide from the world and organisations don’t try to kill you. And I ain’t seeing Chuuya’s ugly hat anymore

Things are getting wild back there in Japan. 

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

Things are getting wild back there in Japan. 

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

Of course everything is naruto what are you talking about.

Imagine this a fidget spinner but it’s got knives taped to it

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

///I hate you and I am crying. Fuck you Jack I died///

I'm glad to know someone else is also horrified by Mark's corn fetish

The corn fetish? It’s no big deal for me. This was a happy good incident, to be honest. Now I know that the next time I visit @marktwainsuggestions I’ll have to bring corn with me. He didn’t seem to like the eggplants I got once.

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

mark pls i love you so much marry me and have my babies pls

....................

*choked up* I am not ready for kids. Someone save me.

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

Special thanks to all the 10 year olds out there for making all those music lyric videos on Youtube

Mark Twain (via incorrectbungoustraydogs)

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

Hawthorn: woah woah woah *hands Twain a copy of the bible*

Twain: *signs inside cover of the bible* always nice to meet a fan

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

Steinbeck: Why are you drinking energy at 10pm?

Twain: Time is an illusion. Once you realize that, you can transcend, and live in bliss.

Twain: *takes sip*

Twain: Also I have a 10 page report due in the morning that I haven't started.

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

i look like I be chillin but i be sad lowkey

Mark Twain (via incorrectbungoustraydogs)

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

based on an @incorrectbungoustraydogs post

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

I am 27 years old and know far much more about fandom than you. I am a practiced lawyer. I could end your pathetic life where it stands. I know you and her are planning something. I'll figure it out. For now my message stands here for all your potentially new followers: Beware the boy who runs this blog. Beware of the fact he will force his hate down your throat. Beware the grimmly dark beeste that hides behind its computer to plot. You strip at the BSD fandom. But I will not let it go.

Im fuc kign sobbing I dont evwn want to wait to gst on my compute r to answer rhis can we ple ase makerhis a new copypasta

ok anon

ok

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

You don’t need anything from life if you can have some corn up your ass.

Hey, so I made... a lot of food. Do you want some corn on the cob or something?

Well yeah. I would like some corn. It’s perfect to use as a dildo to fuck my asshole raw.

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

If you want to a be a true gay? Yes.

Hey, so I made... a lot of food. Do you want some corn on the cob or something?

Well yeah. I would like some corn. It’s perfect to use as a dildo to fuck my asshole raw.

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

Honestly??? Same??? I can’t fall asleep if I don’t feel the rough texture of corn at least 4 times until my ass is raw and sensitive from the almighty corn god???? I need to feel the beans go up my asshole and into my stomach. Reverse vore is life man.

Hey, so I made... a lot of food. Do you want some corn on the cob or something?

Well yeah. I would like some corn. It’s perfect to use as a dildo to fuck my asshole raw.

[marktwainsuggestions-blog]

.....well? Obviously????

So I heard you like corn.

I heard you were dead.