martianartsandcrafts - Tumblr blog

[martianartsandcrafts]

sup yo

After you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death.

[martianartsandcrafts]

if this is not relevant to your interests

there’s something seriously wrong with your interests

[martianartsandcrafts]

should have got the guy who does the pepsiman cutscenes

They’re pandering to young people by spoofing the meme about pandering to young people. My mind has touched the void.

[martianartsandcrafts]

so i finally played undertale

i guess the big thing was that i had been spoiled a little too hard

knowing the existence of pacifist etc

even though figuring out how to pacify each enemy was much more fun than the actual fighting

so it’s kind of hard for me to assess what i think of it on its own merits

i guess it kinda had this vibe of “i wanna be earthbound”

i get why people would think of it as the greatest thing since sliced bread

it just.. didn’t manage to do what it set out to do for me, somehow

[martianartsandcrafts]

finding dory

the one drawback with living in finland

animations are dubbed because kids don’t understand english and can’t read subtitles

and they don’t want to show the original version without having the dubbed version available because people are morons and would take their kids to see it, resulting in feelbad moments for everyone

so we get to see it premiere in late august

hell motherfucking yeah

[martianartsandcrafts]

oh my fucking wow

i love this magnificent asshole so much

[martianartsandcrafts]

it's an annual song contest arranged by the european broadcasting companies, where each nation tries to out-bombast everyone else and then they vote to see who did the best job

also, the whole thing has a huge gay following, which makes things hilarious because russia tries super hard to win (winner gets to host so it's a good opportunity for propaganda) but at the same time they hate the lgbt's

Love Love, Peace Peace - How to make a perfect Eurovision Song

[martianartsandcrafts]

there are four lights

Only Miitomo Players Understand

How many flowers do you see?

[martianartsandcrafts]

best card game idea ever

i have no clue what the actual rules are

but i know two cards that will be in the game

one is the trump card with donald’s smirking face on it

the other is the drumpf card with a retarded donald face

now, the drumpf card is the worst card in the game

it’s completely worthless on its own

its only use is to be played in response to an opponent’s trump

the drumpf negates the effect of a trump somehow

[martianartsandcrafts]

the florida man twitter makes me sad

not because i feel sorry for the people in those news items not because i feel bad for their florida folks but because it's not happening in maine i'd be so much happier reading the headlines in my brain if it was i could be thinking you da man, maine man

[martianartsandcrafts]

i had the best idea the other day

there should be an album

consisting of nothing but classic cartoon theme songs

covered by one or several punk bands

[martianartsandcrafts]

yeah the mushrooms are bullshit

and there’s like this one girl who heals them and gives you money for it

so yeah, getting past the trek to saturn valley is more of a buzzkill than pokey’s mum

I remember why I stopped playing Earthbound at Twoson.

[martianartsandcrafts]

okay so it’s actually three minutes of silence. but anyway.

i don’t know how long you’ve given earthbound on your previous attempts but the game starts out slow. like reeeaaaallllyyyy slow

think pock in 2010 slow

no, slower than that

i went back to check chuggaaconroy’s let’s play of earthbound, and the “real” stuff starts happening right around part 25/99

that’s like three hours (and two bosses around three towns) into the game before anything other than setting the stage actually takes place

except you can add another hour or two for a first time playthrough to account for all the deaths and where-the-fuck-do-i-go-next

but it does get good from there on out

because then jeff comes in and saves the day

If you ever think a video game you’re playing is facetious, instead consider EarthBound:

About three quarters through the game, the player finds a weapon called the Casey Bat. It is the strongest weapon in the game by a large margin, so naturally the player will equip it to Ness instantly. What isn’t indicated, though, is that it has a 75% miss rate. Players are often bewildered by the fact that at a certain point in the game, Ness suddenly becomes incapable of hitting anything.

The player is at one point given the option to buy an egg. The egg does nothing. But it will randomly hatch into a chick without notifying the player. While a chick is in the player’s inventory, a beeping sound will play constantly. There is no indication of why this is happening.

A boss called the Clumsy Robot has a move where it eats a bolonge sandwich. The text prompt will say that it recovers an enormous, demoralising amount of HP from doing this. It actually does nothing. The text prompt is lying.

At one point the player is given the option to buy a machine from an inventor. They are told they need the machine to progress in the game. It is incredibly expensive. The machine isn’t needed for anything at all, and it breaks when you use it.

To get into one of the villains’ lair, you have to know the secret password. The secret password is five minutes of silence. You have to stand in front of the door into the lair for five minutes without doing anything, then you will be allowed in.

Fuck your noise. EarthBound went hard.

[martianartsandcrafts]

do i want the long version

I shouldn’t be getting heated about this fucking cunt after so many years, but I still do.

[martianartsandcrafts]

so i saw episode 7 and enjoyed it

sure, it had some annoying things about it

like kylo ren channeling his inner anakin a bit too much

and rey being a total mary sue

and everyone still being totally incompetent (which is a star wars staple)

but fuck all that noise, it’s still star wars like the prequels never were

[martianartsandcrafts]

like we did with “the you-know-how you-know-who”, right

I need to become famous and well known so that when I make ironic or meta jokes, or I shitpost on Twitter (largely what I use it for), people won’t think I’m just some weirdo asshole.

[martianartsandcrafts]

yeah but when you make harmless comments some sjw will come and twist it into the worst insult ever true story

I need to become famous and well known so that when I make ironic or meta jokes, or I shitpost on Twitter (largely what I use it for), people won’t think I’m just some weirdo asshole.